Friday, November 3, 2017

RWBY Volume 2: The Novelization: Best Day Ever

RWBY: The Novelization is not endorsed by Rooster Teeth in any way. Views, opinions, and thoughts are all my own. Rooster Teeth and RWBY are trade names or registered trademarks of Rooster Teeth Productions, LLC. © Rooster Teeth Productions, LLC.


On a beautiful day in the summer, students were returning to Beacon Academy after their summer break. Many had already returned and were spending time catching up with their teammates in the cafeteria.
Except for their leader, Team RWBY was sitting at one table all on one side. Across from them at another table was Team JNPR. While Weiss drank a cup of coffee and Yang seemed to be making faces at Nora, Blake had one of her notebooks open. In it, she had doodled pictures of her former White Fang partner Adam Taurus. Ever since the fight at the docks, she had been obsessed with trying to figure out what he was after.
“Whatcha doin’?” asked Yang.
“Nothing!” said Blake, quickly shutting her notebook. “Just going over some notes from last semester.”
A green grape flew at Yang and she caught in her mouth. She looked back at Blake. “Lame!” Nora catapulted a second grape and Yang caught it again.
It seemed like everything was going to be normal that day until Ruby appeared and slammed a giant white binder on the table. The title of the binder read “Best Day Ever Activities!” in bright red marker. Above that, in a conservative typeface which had been crossed out was “Vytal Festival Activities: Property of Weiss Schnee.”
Ruby cleared her throat. To her team, “Sisters!” To JNPR, “Friends!” And then, “Weiss.”
“Hey!”
“Four score and seven minutes ago, I had a dream.”
“This oughta be good,” said Yang, catching a cherry in her mouth.
“A dream that one day, the four of us would come together, as a team, and have the most fun that anyone has ever had… ever!”
“Did you steal my binder?” asked Weiss.
“‘I am not a crook’,” said Ruby, throwing up a pair of deuces.
Blake asked, “What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about kicking this semester off with a bang!”
Yang replied, “I always kick my semesters off with a Yang! Eh? Guys? Am I right?” Suddenly, an apple hit in her face and Nora booed.
Ruby continued, “Look guys, it’s been a good two weeks, and between more exchange students arriving and the tournament at the end of the year, our second semester is going to be great. But classes start back up tomorrow. Which is why I’ve taken the time to schedule a series of wonderful events for us today.”
“I don’t know whether to be proud or scared of what you have in store,” said Weiss.
Yang chucked a green apple back at Nora.
“I don’t know,” added Blake. “I think I might sit this one out.” She had more research to do.
“Sit out or not, I think however we spend this last day, we do it as a team. I for one think—” But then suddenly, pie. It hit someone in the face. That someone was Weiss.
Nora looked at her hand like it wasn’t hers. It had betrayed her. How had that cream pie managed to tumble off her fingers so badly that she hit Weiss instead of Yang? Never mind the fact that she completely missed Blake who sat between the two.
The pie slid off Weiss’ face leaving her with a whipped cream facial. She shook with anger and embarrassment. She reached for the nearest food object, an apple, and cocked her arm.
Meanwhile, outside the cafeteria, Sun Wukong was with a teammate of his from Team SSSN, Neptune Vasilias. Sun had been telling him all about the fight that had happened at the docks the previous semester. “Man, that’s harsh,” commented Neptune.
“So then we were there fighting side-by-side,” continued Sun. “She was super fast! And then I threw a banana at a guy which sounds gross but it was awesome!”
“Nice!”
“Right? And the best part is, she’s a Faunus.” Sun raised a hand to his lips in shock. “But that’s a secret. I didn’t say that! Okay?”
“Got it.”
“And not a I’m-going-to-go-tell-Scarlet-the-second-Sun-turns-his-back secret. I’m talking secret-secret.”
“Whoa, whoa. Chill out, man, okay? I got it.”
Sun eyed him.
Neptune whispered, “I got it.”
“You better. I just don’t wanna screw this up, you know? The people here are the coolest. No offense to you guys.”
“None taken.”
Finally, Sun and Neptune reached the cafeteria’s entrance.
“Okay,” said Sun, “they’re right in here. I’m really excited for you to meet them. So, be cool, okay? You’re gonna be cool, right?”
“Dude,” said Neptune. He stood back and folded his arms. And in his tight pants, slim fit hoodie over collared shirt and tie with his teeth sparkling in the sun, he did cut an impressive figure.
“Good point,” admitted Sun.
But as Sun and Neptune entered the cafeteria, an onrush of students exited. Some of them shouted “food fight” and a feminine cackle echoed.
Sun and Neptune saw Team JNPR at the far end of the cafeteria with several tables stacked upon each other. Ren, Jaune, and Pyrrha acted as honor guards protecting Nora who was on the topmost table declaring, “I’m queen of the castle! I’m queen of the castle!”
Team RWBY meanwhile was closest to the entrance with Ruby declaring war on JNPR. “Justice will be swift! Justice will be painful! It will be…” she crushed a milk carton in her hand, “delicious!”
“Yeah!” her team chimed.
“Ha! Off with their heads!” ordered Nora.
JNPR started lobbing watermelons en masse at RWBY.
“Yang!” said Ruby. “Turkeys!”
Yang dashed forward and stuck either fist up a turkey. She banged them together and faced the onslaught of watermelons. They came fast and furious, but no melon could stand up to her Iron Turkey Fist technique. Having smashed them all, she launched them from her fists and hit Jaune full in the body with both.
Pyrrha, witnessing the loss of her teammate and captain, took up a baguette and sought to mete out her vengeance on Blake who had grabbed a pair of baguettes. The two clashed and pushed against each other neither stale loaf giving way.
Pyrrha broke the bind and struck but Blake dodged. There was a flurry of expert French Dough Cuts between the two well-seasoned warriors. Pyrrha made for a wrathful cut, but Blake used a shadow copy to dodge it. From the air, she cast one of her baguettes at Pyrrha and missed.
As Blake fell, Pyrrha surged forward and delivered a Spear Roll Thrust to Blake’s gut knocking her back several yards. Pyrrha then threw her baguette as a javelin at Yang. Yang managed to break it and the next, but the third baguette succeeded in knocking her back also.
Ruby advanced in Yang’s place sliding among the spilled fluids of the cafeteria’s tables on a tray. She jumped and kicked Pyrrha back.
Ren and Nora now charged forward in Pyrrha’s place. Ruby spun back and deferred to Weiss. She spun forward daintily and squirted the floor in copious amounts of ketchup. Ren slipped and slid into a cluster of tables. Nora however jumped into the air and grabbed a flag post from the top of the cafeteria’s wall. She snapped it off and upon hitting the ground, embedded the end in another melon.
Nora did an impressive flourish and smacked the melon hammer into the ground. The force of the blow knocked Ruby back. Weiss had dodged it and picked up a frozen swordfish by the tail. While not a practitioner of the Xiphias Gladiae arts, Weiss found the fish to be about the right length, weight, and handling of her Myrtenaster. She engaged Nora in savage combat, but her Xiphiidae rapier let her down not being able to match the sheer brutality of Nora’s Cucurbitaceae hammer. She delivered a crushing blow to Weiss’ abdomen and knocked her all the way back to the other end of the cafeteria.
Weiss hit a pillar and shattered it. As she fell unconscious, Ruby leapt and caught her saving her from the pillar’s collapse.
“Weiss?! Weiss! Don’t leave me!” But seeing no reaction from the Ice Queen, Ruby couldn’t stop a lament from escaping her lungs.
Meanwhile, Yang and Ren were back in the fight going at each other. Yang was armed with her Iron Turkey Fists and Ren with his Fresh Leek Kali Sticks. Being fast as lightning and with expert timing, the two fighters showcased their martial art prowess against one another. Yang got the upper hand with a Turkey Hammerfist to Ren’s head and followed it up with a Turkey Uppercut launching him into the air. Ren regained enough faculty to throw his leeks at Yang, but she dodged them jumping into the air herself and then meteored him straight into the ground.
As Yang landed though, Nora avenged Ren with a powerful upward sweep with her melon hammer. The force caught Yang full force destroying the melon and catapulting her up through the cafeteria’s ceiling.
Disarmed of her hammer, Blake seized the advantage by lashing Nora with a Weiner Whip. Nora was knocked back into a grape soda machine breaking it open and releasing cans of soda all over the ground. She picked up a few and bombarded Blake with the refreshing and sweet taste of the vine.
Blake managed to dodge Nora’s bombardment, but she couldn’t dodge Pyrrha’s unrelenting salvo of grape sodas driven by her magnetic semblance. Caught in the carbonated explosion, she was blasted back.
Having regained her composure and seen enough of her comrades fall in brutal battle, Ruby stood and faced the four fresh members of JNPR. They prepared themselves for whatever the tiny girl would do, but they received the shock of their lives when Ruby rushed at them maxing out her speedy semblance. As she became a blinding vortex of red, a vacuum was created in her wake picking up all the remnants of food that had been spent in battle.
Ruby rocketed past Team JNPR and they were caught in the vacuum. Ruby stopped before the cafeteria wall and JNPR slammed into it. Ruby backflipped away just as the tornado of food caught up with JNPR coating them in greasy, sticky, leftover victuals. Having suffered a consummate defeat, the only thing they could do was slide off the wall to the floor.
“I love these guys,” said Sun. He looked over at Neptune who was covered in grape soda.
Just then, Glynda burst into the cafeteria growling. She waved her riding crop and in a complicated but sentient harmony, the tables of the cafeteria were all realigned in their proper places and the wasted food disposed of in their proper receptacles. Through grit teeth, Glynda warned both teams, “Children! Please! Do not play with your food.”
The damage done and pain subsided, both teams felt ashamed of themselves in their stained uniforms. Suddenly, Yang fell back through the cafeteria roof and shattered the tension of the moment. Both teams erupted into laughter. Glynda let out an exasperated sigh.
“Let it go,” advised Ozpin, materializing at her side.
Glynda reluctantly relaxed. “They’re supposed to be the defenders of the world.”
“And they will be. But right now, they’re still children. So why not let them play the part? After all, it isn’t a role they’ll have forever.”


Keep writing, my friends.

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