Saturday, September 29, 2018

Five Qualities of Religion that Appeal to INTJs

Hey, everyone.

So, I posted the question of which topic people would like to see next on my blog, but no one voted for anything so I had to make a decision. I decided to cover the topic of being both religious and an INTJ because I thought it would be the most interesting one to delve into, especially since INTJs are the least likely of all the types to be religious. But after I realized that the answer was one of two things, either because I choose to or because I was indoctrinated so well that I don't realize I have been and think that I choose to, I realized that that answer sucks.

The question I should really address is why would an INTJ be religious? What qualities would a religion need to have in order to appeal to an INTJ? That makes for a far more interesting blog post, as well as an easier one because people are sluts for lists. Seriously, how much more likely are you to watch a vid or read a post because it says the top 10, 7, or 5 things or reasons for whatever the hell?So, here are five qualities of religion that appeal to INTJs. (I'm sure there are more, but these five are the most relevant to me.)

1. Theology Based Off Faith and Reason

If you were to ask me why I like Catholicism so much and why I think other religions, including other branches of Christianity, are weak-sauce, the first thing that would come to my mind is Catholic theology. Catholicism has an extensive and complex theology. Don't believe me? You've obviously never picked up a copy of the Catechism, and that's just the start since the Catechism is an abridged version of multiple documents called "dogmatic constitutions" as well as theses like Aquinas' Summa Theologica. And while INTJs like things extensive and complex, that doesn't necessarily make those things likeable. So what is it about that extensive and complex theology that appeals to me as an INTJ?

Well, Catholic theology is based off two things: faith and reason. It takes the belief "God exists," and then breaks that down into rational thought to discover the truth of it. While I admit that if you can't accept the premise, then you're not going to have any thoughts or discover any truth about the statement. However, Aquinas did take the via negativa (negative way) to uncover the truth behind certain theological precepts including the existence of God. He looked at why God couldn't exist first, proved them wrong through common perceptions, and then came to the conclusion that God did.

I know it's easy to get down on the Catholic Church these days and say it isn't rational what with all the sex and pedophiliac scandals, but I would argue that anyone who indulges in such behavior is not of Christ's body (which is the Church), and that being the case, you can't waggle your finger at the Church to shame her since they're not a part of the club--they just pretended to be and lied to everyone about it. That's one of the problems with having a Faith based off reason--it, like all academia based off reason and thought, can be taught. Since the theology is treated like fact, it's taught like fact, and so anyone who touts it expertly is accepted as a representative or evangelist of the Church by those outside it. But I digress...

One of the issues I have with some Protestant faiths, as well as Californian-based "religions" made up by a guy that could professionally qualify as a "dude," is that they seem to be based off feelings or accepting the Bible at face value. That's not the Catholic Church. We're often seen as a guilt-ridden Faith or that we don't want people to have fun. We don't want people wallowing in sin, true enough, but wallowing in guilt and shame can be just as bad. The truth of the Faith is that we want people to think about the Faith, think about God, and think about His will and choose to do it.

The first part of that is an act of reason and the second part is an act of faith, which when applied to an INTJ take the forms of thinking and intuition. That's what I was getting at. Catholicism, when done right, is a religion built by NTs. This is probably news to a lot of you since the message of the Faith is often watered down so it can be easily understood by all. It's also often made more digestible so we don't lose parishioners to more digestible beliefs. It's actually a very academically intense religion, which tickles NTs pink. INTJs can be religious, they can be faithful, but they need a rational reason to do so.

2. Admittance of/to Free Will

One very interesting thing that I've been hearing about a lot lately is that love is a choice, not a feeling. Romance or eros is a feeling, but to love someone, to put their needs before yours, even when you don't want to or even when it may cost you something dear, that's a choice. And in order to have that ability to choose, you must have free will.

INTJs don’t like feeling out of control. We don’t believe in destiny or fate, and things are compounded further by the fact that INTJs have a “my way or the highway” kind of attitude. It’s very important to us that we do things our way. Even if we make a mistake, as long as we did it our way, that still grants us some satisfaction, especially when we can own up to it because many people cannot.

So, although many religions tend to drive this idea of trusting in God’s will and being subservient to it, Catholicism still admits to the existence of free will, of choice. We can choose to do what we want, whether those are good or bad choices, and God does not interfere. People, and especially INTJs, don’t like being forced to follow someone else’s will, especially when it counters our own on a very fundamental level. So the fact that the greatest power in the universe, the one who is responsible for our creation, is perfectly willing to allow us to make our own decisions, we respect that. And because respect is shown to our abilities and desires, we are more likely to respect God's abilities and desires.

3. Strict Moral Code

Like I mentioned above, INTJs get a certain kind of satisfaction from owning up to their mistakes; we enjoy certain disciplines, rules, and rigidity. One of the things I can get behind about Catholicism is its moral code. True, it’s not always easy to live up to, but INTJs do sometimes falter according to their own codes of honor. We don't often admit it, but we do. But anyway, I respect the morality of the Faith. I believe it has my best intentions at heart, especially since I have mostly lived according to it all my life, and I don't have many of the problems that some people do. I attribute that to being brought up with the proper morality, and to some extent, many secular types would deem me to be an honorable man. Both not having problems and the respect of others appeals to me. 

4. Forgiveness for Failure and Recognition in Our Trials

Like I said, honor and morality is not always easy--we falter. And although INTJs are not very self-forgiving, God fortunately is. True, God does judge us, but He does so from a perspective of mercy, and INTJs, although we don’t like to admit it, we need someone in our lives to show us mercy. (Just like how we need someone in our lives to hug us, even though we don’t like to admit to that either.)

The other thing is that God recognizes our trials and attempts--He likes to see us try. Some may think that strange, but I mean, who isn’t flattered when someone we like makes an attempt to please us or tries to get to know us better? If God truly loves us and desires to have a relationship with us, then He should be pleased with our attempts to live according to His will, right?

5. It Challenges Me to be Perfect

Although many people see the Ten Commandments as buzzkills or only exist as some sort of devious plot to manipulate us, I believe the Commandments exist to make us more like God. After all, God’s purpose is to make our souls perfect. And speaking of perfection, INTJs f*cking love it. We pursue it nigh relentlessly, and despite the pressure we feel from that, the fact that there’s a religion and a deity out there that wants the same thing we do, we can support that. INTJs are not looking for the easy way out. Maybe the most efficient way, but not the easy way. We know that in our heart of hearts that we are meant for greater things, and religion teaches us that God believes that also. But we must become great in order to do great things.


Now, admittedly there are qualities of religion that don't appeal to us like always trusting in God or having faith that He's there because sometimes it feels like He isn't, and sometimes He doesn't do things the way we'd like them to be done. But these are all issues that everyone has. Not to mention, life does seem easier, in some regards, when you live according to His will, almost like that saying "God helps those who help themselves" is true.

For me, the good things about religion infinitely outweigh the bad things. So, in those moments when I feel despair, in those moments when I think God has abandoned me, and in those moments where I feel like saying "f*ck it!" and committing every sin in the book, I still (re)turn to the Faith because it has several good points that keep me coming back.


Well, I hope that was insightful, and did the job I wrote it for. I rebel quite hard against the stereotypical INTJ qualities that don't match myself, and hopefully this post explains why the not being religious one doesn't match up to me. And if you want to see more of this type of thing and never miss a beat, please join my mailing list, or really show me the love and please consider supporting me on Patreon. Even $1 a month will prove that you love me.

For next week, I'm going to cover INTJs and sex. It will actually be a reflection on dating troubles and why INTJs have them. It won't be in-depth, but I did have a few revelations when I was thinking about my own girl troubles recently. Until then...

Keep writing, my friends.

More About Bryan C. Laesch:

Friday, September 21, 2018

The INTJ Perspective: Objective and Willful

Hey, everyone.

There is no Truth

So, I read a rather annoying article on Medium that was the catalyst for this post. Basically, the writer claimed that perspective is reality and that everything is subjective. And as an INTJ, this simply won't do. It really irritated me. It's one thing to say "perspective is reality" and defend that in a light sense like when people say "whether you believe you can or can't, you're right," but when you claim that there is no Truth, which the article did, I can't let that sh*t slide.

I know for a fact there is Truth. For instance, we know objectively that 2+2=4. This is not subjective; 2+2=4 is not dependent on anyone's feelings, beliefs, opinions, or manias. 2+2 will always equal 4 regardless of what happens and is said. It is a fact, it is Truth. Another fact is that when I throw something into the air, it will come back down. Despite the fact that we still call gravity a theory--and yes, I know that a scientific theory is very different from a regular theory--we can see gravity in action and predict how it affects objects, even in deep space from lightyears away. So, that is Truth.

But all this talk about perspective gave me an idea--what is the INTJ's perspective? Is it pessimistic? Is it optimistic? Realistic? Or something altogether different? Well, it's a rather interesting concept to consider, especially when you remember that our primary function is Introverted Intuition and our auxiliary function is Extraverted Thinking. How do these two affect our thinking? Let's examine this.

Pessimistic versus Optimistic

Many people feel INTJs are pessimistic. INTJs however would argue that they are not pessimistic but realistic. For instance, when my family went to go see Soylo: A Soy Wars Story and they all liked it but I didn't, I was very quick to point out the movie's flaws and that it was failing commercially quite badly. My mother said that it might do well worldwide and I was quick to point out that it was failing worse overseas than it was in the US. My brother suddenly jumped on me for being so quick to shoot it down as if I derived some sort of pleasure from being the bearer of bad news, especially since I didn't like the movie and they did. My retort was that I was just reporting the facts and trying to save them from the embarrassment of being wrong, which they didn't appreciate. (Apparently, I'm the only one who thinks it's embarrassing to be wrong.) But I maintain that I was merely reporting on the facts--I was being a realist. (And I maintain that Soylo sucks.)

However, for a lot of people, reality isn't good enough. Being an Intuitive type, I'm inclined to agree. There have been plenty of times when I've been bitch-slapped by reality and I was quite unhappy about it. So, what do I do then? Do I accept reality? Well, sort of, but not really. That is to say, I only accept reality when it coincides with my plan, but I'm always pushing to accomplish my plan. I'm a big believer in having my cake and eating it too. Some people might think that positive or optimistic, sort of like expecting the worst, but always hope for the best. But, hoping for the best isn't good enough for an INTJ. If it was, we wouldn't have a plan, therefore I can't say that INTJs are optimistic. Ergo, what is the INTJ's perspective?

Deterministic and Realistic

The INTJ worldview is actually a double-pronged approach. While we act within the confines of reality, and even accept some of its limits, we always try to force our way. Everything we try to accomplish, we do through force of will. To put it another way, we're determined, hence why I call it deterministic (which is not to be confused with the philosophical theory of determinism). However, no matter how determined we are, we are still realistic. It also doesn't help that INTJs are often prone to sudden and unsubstantiated insights, and later those insights turn out to be correct. Hence, why wouldn't our determined POV not be right?


Well, I hope you found that interesting. Sorry it was so short. I'm not sure if I thought I was going to write more or not, but I did think it was going to be a little more insightful than that. And if you want all the INTJ insights I can possibly give you, please join my mailing list, or really show me that you appreciate my insights and please consider supporting me on Patreon. Even $1 a month will prove your appreciation.

For next week, I'm not sure what I'll do. I have about six ideas up my sleeve that I can write about, I just don't know which one seems the next most interesting. I could write about what INTJs treasure most, speculate on whether or not INTJs are good people or have issues with sex, or I could look at how it is that I'm so religious despite being an INTJ. We'll see. But, until then...

Keep writing, my friends.

More About Bryan C. Laesch:

Tuesday, September 11, 2018

What An INTJ's Inner Child Would Say

Hey, everyone.

The Concept of the Inner Child

So, here's an interesting idea I had while I was in the shower a few weeks back. I thought of that episode of The Simpsons where that motivational speaker comes to Springfield and was completely taken with Bart's attitude of "I do what I want." At least, I think that's the same episode where the speaker then tells the audience to close their eyes and listen to their inner child. Either way, we then see Homer's inner child say, "Food goes in here," and points to his mouth; Flanders' inner child says, "Stay the course, Neddy. You're doing just fine"; and lastly, we see Moe's inner child who says, "Moe, how come you no longer talk with your accent?" at which point Moe looks up and goes, "Mama mia!"

Anyway, thinking about inner childs (or is it "children"), and how it used to be a big fad back in the days of feel-good-trendy-meditation-finding-yourself-bull-crap, you know the crap I'm talking about, I began to wonder what my inner child would say, and being an INTJ, how it may differ from what others' inner children might say. So, I asked my inner child to speak up, and I actually got three responses: one from an inner child before a certain point in my life, one from an inner child after a certain point in my life, and then one from what I think is my true inner child. What is this certain point in my life? I'll tell you after I cover what the first two inner children said.

My Inner Children Before and After a Certain Point in my Life

My inner children before and after a certain point in my life are quite the pair. They're actually a duality of my life during my childhood, which is to say, they're opposites. My inner child before a certain point in my life said, "Hey, if you cried more, you'd get your way more." But then my inner child after a certain point in my life retorted with, "Don't you dare! Do you want people to think you're a weirdo or a wuss? Suck it up, and don't embarrass us."

My inner child before seems like a spoiled brat, and I'm definitely inclined to agree. True, I haven't gotten a lot of things in my life that I desire the most, but I know crying about them won't get me them, which may make my inner child after seem quite sagacious until you realize he isn't speaking from a place of maturity. What he actually doesn't want to suffer is humiliation. Why is this?

That Certain Point in my Life
  When I was young, and I mean, young, like little, I cried a lot. A lot, lot. Why? Well, like my inner child before says, it's how I got my way. It was most effective at home where my mother often gave in to me. And I kept this habit into an embarrassingly old age, like 8 or 9. When I was in the fourth grade, I finally had a teacher chastise me for it, and since I didn't get what I want instead being put in my place, I was embarrassed. So, I curbed it greatly at school, but I still continued to do it at home until I was about 10 or so, which is when I noticed I could control my mother this way. I felt guilty about it, and basically told myself that there would be no more crying.

But this whole thing, along with finding out that one of my classmates in the sixth grade thought I was annoying, which at the time hurt, caused me to withdrawal socially and emotionally. I began emulating silent, tough guys like Vincent Valentine and Auron from Final Fantasy VII and FFX, respectively, because despite the fact they were quiet, they were still huge badasses. They were cool and I wanted to be like them. This may have also been when I first became an Introvert, or at the very least, when my Introverted tendencies began to develop. Some may think that odd, but considering that at one point in my childhood I could have been deemed "boisterous," and now I'm far from it, as I was in high school and middle school, it makes some sense. Perhaps people can change their personalities.

But, these "words of wisdom" from my "inner children" pale in comparison when it comes to what my true inner child said.

My True Inner Child

Essentially, what my true inner child said was I don't have an inner child. He grew up into the adult that I am, and I should secure the course. For the most part, I'm headed in the right direction, and where I wander, I have enough determination to make my way back and become what it is that I should be. And then, my true inner child dropped this actual piece of wisdom on me: "Become the adult that child-you would want to be. Give him nothing to regret about growing up and nothing to miss about being a child. Become the adult he wants to be."

(And that gave me a great story idea about a guy who grows up, makes his life perfect, and then realizes that his perfect life hasn't happened yet and that he's still a child with his whole life ahead of him [Copyright Bryan C. Laesch, 2018].)

How to Grow Up

And that's what it boils down to: we shouldn't strive to learn from the wisdom of our younger, immature, and less experienced selves. No, we should become the adults that we as children would have looked up to and wanted to be. So easily do our lives come apart when we slip into laziness, apathy, or we fall into the fold of "everyday, adult life." How many of our inner children would be disgusted or downright disappointed with whom they are to become if they knew? I know my mine would be. Hell, I'd owe my inner child an explanation as to why I'm not rich, an explanation to my inner teenager as why I haven't had a serious and sexy girlfriend yet, and an explanation to my young adult self as to why I'm not the critically acclaimed author I intended on being, as well as rich with a sexy wife. They'd all look at me and say, "What the hell happened? You're a disappointment. We can't believe we're going to become you." And you know what, I can't believe it either. I can't stomach it.

I'm going to set things right. I'm going to become the sort of person I would want to grow up to be, that way 30, 40, and 50-year old me(s) don't have the same regrets.


Well, I hope you all learned something from this. Not just that INTJs don't believe in inner children, but also how you should be living your own lives. Again, sorry for the long paragraphs. But if you don't care and you can handle my verbosity, please join my mailing list, or really show me the love and please consider supporting me on Patreon. Even $1 a month will prove that you're a friend of mine.

Regarding next week's post, I'm going to discuss an INTJ's perspective on objectivity versus subjectivity. I read an article from Medium that really boiled my tangerines about how everyone's reality is different because of our different perspectives and how there's no Truth. I'm sorry--I'm actually not--but what is 2+2=4 then? So, until then...

Keep writing, my friends.

More About Bryan C. Laesch:

Monday, September 3, 2018

11 Qualities INTJs Look for in a Relationship

Hey, everyone.

I know it's been a while since I posted. A lot of things have happened, including losing my Internet connection several times and being busy with life. Hopefully I can get back on track.

So, going into this post's topic, 11 qualities INTJs look for in a relationship, I need to mention a few things:

1. I had the idea for this topic from the trouble I've had with the friend I mentioned in my last post. Basically, the foundation of our relationship wasn't steady and I wasn't able to be myself (comfortably), and I wasn't getting any satisfaction out of the relationship. That may sound selfish, but friendships are not all giving and no taking, which leads to my second point which is...
2. That INTJs hope that these following qualities are on both sides of the relationship.
3. The "relationship" I'm referring to here isn't merely romantic--INTJs want some of (or all) of these qualities in their friendships too, so both friends and lovers of INTJs can get some use out of this list.

With that out of the way, let's go on to the list.

1. Intelligence/Competence

Just about everything INTJs do is punctuated by intelligence. They try to be as intelligent as possible, which may take the form of competency, efficiency, or being just a little too careful. They may make mistakes--miscalculations, if you will--but it's not something that happens often. And as it is known, INTJs do not suffer fools. Ignorance is one thing, but willful ignorance or the inability to learn from mistakes is quite another. INTJs do not forgive themselves for stupid mistakes, so don't expect them to be any more lenient on you.

2. Honesty

Honesty is an interesting one. INTJs love being honest because it allows us to "be" ourselves. (If we're [acting like] anyone else, we're not being honest.) However, we can sometimes struggle to be honest with ourselves or having someone be honest with us (there's "being direct" and then there's "criticism"). Some INTJs aren't bothered by criticism or conflict--I'm not one of them!--but it's always better to be honest with us than to lie because that's just a waste of our time. You can waste your time with lies if you like, but don't waste ours.

3. Imagination

By "imagination" I mean "being open-minded." But what does it mean to be "open-minded?" I feel like it's a term too often thrown around, especially when its opposite, "closed-minded," is often regarded as a huge negative. Well, for this quality I'm not talking about trying new foods or wanting to travel, I mean more like INTJs want to be able to entertain new and wondrous ideas, such as the existence of Bigfoot or parallel universes. Dismissing such ideas immediately, especially when one doesn't have any knowledge or experience with the topic, is quite closed-minded and pretty boring. True, INTJs may not seek additional information or want to tamper with them, but they still want the opportunity to think about and discuss them, and they can't do the latter alone.

4. Creativity

How does "creativity" differ from "imagination?" Well, by "creativity" I mean it as "not mundane." INTJs are pretty bored with the real world. Learning about it can be interesting, but we can't entertain ourselves by simply going for a walk out in the woods. That might inspire our imagination, like become the backdrop for a story idea involving a witch's cove, but the actual act of the walk is pretty boring. Also, INTJs don't want to have mundane existences--being Intuitive types, we don't want to live our lives the way others do. Therefore, we don't want to be friends with or date anybody who has a mundane life or existence. You might have an exciting life, but if it's too "in the world," we won't really care.

5. Freedom

Now when I say freedom, I'm not talking about cheating or not being able to commit. No, I mean INTJs need to be "personally" free. They need to be able to retreat from the situation and spend some time alone. And, like I said above, they need the freedom to be their selves. Nothing makes an INTJ quite as unhappy as being forced to be like everyone else. But if you entertain our desire to be ourselves, we will do tit-for-tat and allow you to be yourself. (Unless of course "who you are" inheritantly irritates us or is the exact antithesis of us, or is dangerous or reckless [if we like you, we don't want to see you destroy yourself].)

6. Value

When I think about it, I think we all want to be valued and have relationships we value. So at first, this doesn't seem all that revealing, but considering that INTJs are consummate loners and their directness can come off as mean, it does need to be said that they value the people in their lives and hope they're valued back because otherwise, why should they be invested?

7. Honor/Virtue

Despite the fact we often buck the status quo and traditional qualities, we have very strong moral compasses. We always try to conduct ourselves with honor and we're constantly in pursuit of deepening our personal virtue. This is one of our standards, and like all our standards, we hold ourselves up to it and expect nothing less from you. If you're not honorable or without virtue, then we shall hand you a knife so you may commit seppuku and fix that.

8. Understanding

Perhaps the greatest thing that any INTJ wants out of life is understanding. We want to understand (just about) everything, and for those who are close to us, we want to understand them inside and out. On the flip side, INTJs want to be understood. I know this can be difficult to accomplish because INTJs don't let anyone in, but it does seem like most people are incapable of understanding us or don't want to. Sometimes it's because INTJs don't have the patience to explain themselves because there's so much to it, but beyond that, INTJs are some of the loneliest people in the world because hardly anyone understands us. So to be with someone who doesn't need us to explain ourselves to, that is one of the greatest things we could ever hope for.

9. Loyalty

I almost forgot about this one. Geez. I didn't remember until I was reading through Speak!: The Best Quips, Quotes, and Anecdotes for Dog Lovers, and on one quote, I was like, "Huh... this person sounds like they're describing an INTJ." But anyway, yes! Loyalty! To an INTJ, loyalty is big. We may be difficult to get along with and we'll often butt heads with you, but if you don't betray us, don't talk behind our backs, don't tell others our secrets, we will make sure to do all the same for you. Believe me: INTJs would make the best Harry Potter Secret Keepers. Not even death would deter us.

10. Strength

INTJs may be brainy types, but we consider ourselves strong (in certain regards). We like to think we have strong characters and hope that isn't just our egos talking. Likewise, we crave to see the strength in others. We don't like weaklings and victims--we like people who tackle their problems and fix them, hence why you can't tell us our problems without us trying to fix them.

Similarly, we crave a strong bond with the people closest to us. We don't do fair-weathered friends or acquaintances, and we don't tend to think "Facebook friends" are actual friends. It may sound wacky or cliché, but the sort of friends we're looking for are "shield-brothers" or "brothers-in-arms." People we can march into the mouth of Hell with and not regret the decision of our chosen company. And when it comes to our romantic partners, we're looking for the quintessential best friend relationship--the inseparable partner-in-crime sort of lover. (I apologize for the vague metaphors, but I don't know how else to put it.)

11. Ka and Ka-tet

For those who haven't read Stephan King's The Dark Tower, you likely haven't heard these terms before. So, ka is a principle that is akin to "duty" or "destiny," while a ka-tet is a group of people brought and held together by a single, unifying ka. So basically what an INTJ wants out of a relationship is that he and the other person feel a sense of duty that draws them together into the relationship because they have similar destinies. And when I say destiny, I don't mean a pre-determined fate that must take place; I mean a personal life goal.

The reason why an INTJ wants these two things is because an INTJ often feels a sense of duty to his friends. I can't really describe what this duty is, I just know that it's similar to our sense of honor--some sort of chivalry that binds us to a person and that colors everything we do as a friend or lover. Rather than just treating that other person like any other idiot, they get special considerations and treatment. As for the ka-tet, well, INTJs want to feel a sense of belonging just as much as anybody else. Out in the world though, we don't feel like we belong anywhere, hence why we're so awkward out in public--very few places feel like they're INTJ-friendly. So it is our hope that our friends and lovers are bound to us out of a sense of duty and purpose, and feel like we belong together for some grand purpose, because really, who the hell doesn't want to feel like that?

Side Note on Respect

Some people think that all you need for a friendship to work is mutual respect. Now, while an INTJ does want respect from his friends and lover, and he wants to be able to respect them in return, an INTJ's respect is not easily earned or kept. In fact, since INTJs are constantly judging and re-evaluating the people and relationships in their lives, your placement on their list of respect is in a constant state of flux. We have a basic level of respect for everyone where we don't kick people in the ass just because they're in our way, but this is more good manners than it is respect. It's more about civility than it is respect.

So, how do you get and keep an INTJ's respect? Well, doing things we can't or aren't willing to do is one way, but that's not specific to INTJs. One of the things that has broken up many of my past friendships is that I couldn't respect the other person because of who they were as persons. Something about their personal beliefs, whether they were political, social, moral, economic, philosophic, et cetera, if it didn't jive with what I believed, I lost respect for that person. Why? Because your personal beliefs are a direct reflection of who you are as a person, obviously. If you think communism is a good idea, then you're a commie, and as history has shown time and time again, communism sucks and capitalism rules. Ergo, you are wrong and incapable of learning from the past's mistakes, and I can't respect a person who is wrong.

That's what it comes down to: right versus wrong belief. Just like how I can't respect a communist, I also can't respect a Satan worshipper, an antitheist, a gun-grabber, someone who is pro-choice, people who believe cats are superior to dogs, people who think heavy metal comes from the Devil, vegans, liberals, Marxists, nihilists, Nazis, Fascists, et cetera.

Similarly, I will not respect anyone who holds a disparaging view of me, my works, my identity, or my beliefs. My one friend called me a sexist. She explained her reasoning to me, but it didn't make any sense to me, and that's when I knew our friendship had died. I lost respect for her for her wacky definition of "sexist," and I lost all personal respect for her for unironically calling me something as hateful as a sexist.

So, gaining and keeping the respect of an INTJ is based on personal agreement with him as well as being capable of logical reasoning. This may not pertain to all INTJs, but given what I know about our type, I don't think any INTJ would put up with anything less. Enjoying argument is one thing, but keeping such a person as a friend is quite different. Think of it this way, why would an INTJ keep a person in his life who is essentially an obstacle to every/some -thing he believes? I wouldn't, and I don't.


Hopefully this answered some questions regarding what INTJs are looking for in a relationship. I apologize for not getting it out last week, but it was quite a piece to write; I didn't want to mislead anybody or leave something important out. And again, I apologize for the long paragraphs. But if you don't care about the long paragraphs and you just like my writing, please join my mailing list, or if you want to make sure I keep writing, please consider supporting me on Patreon. Even $1 a month will prove that you're a friend of mine.

As for next week's post, I don't know what I'll write. I think I have a few shorter pieces I could turn out in hopes of getting back into the swing of things. Perhaps that's what I'll do. Until then...

Keep writing, my friends.

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