What An INTJ's Inner Child Would Say

Hey, everyone.

The Concept of the Inner Child

So, here's an interesting idea I had while I was in the shower a few weeks back. I thought of that episode of The Simpsons where that motivational speaker comes to Springfield and was completely taken with Bart's attitude of "I do what I want." At least, I think that's the same episode where the speaker then tells the audience to close their eyes and listen to their inner child. Either way, we then see Homer's inner child say, "Food goes in here," and points to his mouth; Flanders' inner child says, "Stay the course, Neddy. You're doing just fine"; and lastly, we see Moe's inner child who says, "Moe, how come you no longer talk with your accent?" at which point Moe looks up and goes, "Mama mia!"

Anyway, thinking about inner childs (or is it "children"), and how it used to be a big fad back in the days of feel-good-trendy-meditation-finding-yourself-bull-crap, you know the crap I'm talking about, I began to wonder what my inner child would say, and being an INTJ, how it may differ from what others' inner children might say. So, I asked my inner child to speak up, and I actually got three responses: one from an inner child before a certain point in my life, one from an inner child after a certain point in my life, and then one from what I think is my true inner child. What is this certain point in my life? I'll tell you after I cover what the first two inner children said.

My Inner Children Before and After a Certain Point in my Life

My inner children before and after a certain point in my life are quite the pair. They're actually a duality of my life during my childhood, which is to say, they're opposites. My inner child before a certain point in my life said, "Hey, if you cried more, you'd get your way more." But then my inner child after a certain point in my life retorted with, "Don't you dare! Do you want people to think you're a weirdo or a wuss? Suck it up, and don't embarrass us."

My inner child before seems like a spoiled brat, and I'm definitely inclined to agree. True, I haven't gotten a lot of things in my life that I desire the most, but I know crying about them won't get me them, which may make my inner child after seem quite sagacious until you realize he isn't speaking from a place of maturity. What he actually doesn't want to suffer is humiliation. Why is this?

That Certain Point in my Life
  When I was young, and I mean, young, like little, I cried a lot. A lot, lot. Why? Well, like my inner child before says, it's how I got my way. It was most effective at home where my mother often gave in to me. And I kept this habit into an embarrassingly old age, like 8 or 9. When I was in the fourth grade, I finally had a teacher chastise me for it, and since I didn't get what I want instead being put in my place, I was embarrassed. So, I curbed it greatly at school, but I still continued to do it at home until I was about 10 or so, which is when I noticed I could control my mother this way. I felt guilty about it, and basically told myself that there would be no more crying.

But this whole thing, along with finding out that one of my classmates in the sixth grade thought I was annoying, which at the time hurt, caused me to withdrawal socially and emotionally. I began emulating silent, tough guys like Vincent Valentine and Auron from Final Fantasy VII and FFX, respectively, because despite the fact they were quiet, they were still huge badasses. They were cool and I wanted to be like them. This may have also been when I first became an Introvert, or at the very least, when my Introverted tendencies began to develop. Some may think that odd, but considering that at one point in my childhood I could have been deemed "boisterous," and now I'm far from it, as I was in high school and middle school, it makes some sense. Perhaps people can change their personalities.

But, these "words of wisdom" from my "inner children" pale in comparison when it comes to what my true inner child said.

My True Inner Child

Essentially, what my true inner child said was I don't have an inner child. He grew up into the adult that I am, and I should secure the course. For the most part, I'm headed in the right direction, and where I wander, I have enough determination to make my way back and become what it is that I should be. And then, my true inner child dropped this actual piece of wisdom on me: "Become the adult that child-you would want to be. Give him nothing to regret about growing up and nothing to miss about being a child. Become the adult he wants to be."

(And that gave me a great story idea about a guy who grows up, makes his life perfect, and then realizes that his perfect life hasn't happened yet and that he's still a child with his whole life ahead of him [Copyright Bryan C. Laesch, 2018].)

How to Grow Up

And that's what it boils down to: we shouldn't strive to learn from the wisdom of our younger, immature, and less experienced selves. No, we should become the adults that we as children would have looked up to and wanted to be. So easily do our lives come apart when we slip into laziness, apathy, or we fall into the fold of "everyday, adult life." How many of our inner children would be disgusted or downright disappointed with whom they are to become if they knew? I know my mine would be. Hell, I'd owe my inner child an explanation as to why I'm not rich, an explanation to my inner teenager as why I haven't had a serious and sexy girlfriend yet, and an explanation to my young adult self as to why I'm not the critically acclaimed author I intended on being, as well as rich with a sexy wife. They'd all look at me and say, "What the hell happened? You're a disappointment. We can't believe we're going to become you." And you know what, I can't believe it either. I can't stomach it.

I'm going to set things right. I'm going to become the sort of person I would want to grow up to be, that way 30, 40, and 50-year old me(s) don't have the same regrets.

***

Well, I hope you all learned something from this. Not just that INTJs don't believe in inner children, but also how you should be living your own lives. Again, sorry for the long paragraphs. But if you don't care and you can handle my verbosity, please join my mailing list, or really show me the love and please consider supporting me on Patreon. Even $1 a month will prove that you're a friend of mine.

Regarding next week's post, I'm going to discuss an INTJ's perspective on objectivity versus subjectivity. I read an article from Medium that really boiled my tangerines about how everyone's reality is different because of our different perspectives and how there's no Truth. I'm sorry--I'm actually not--but what is 2+2=4 then? So, until then...

Keep writing, my friends.

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