Your ACTUAL Hogwarts House (According To Your Myers Briggs Personality Type): A Response to The Things.com

Hey, everyone.

So, I know this is kind of late. It was my intention to have it out earlier this week. Technically, last week. Things really get busy around here on weekends for some reason. I never get anything done. And my internet decides to be a f*cktard and things that should take 15 mins end up taking more than an hour.

Anyway, today's topic is one that I've been sitting on for a while. Since back in December I think. Basically, TheThings.com wrote an article called "Your ACTUAL Hogwarts House (According To Your Myers Brigs Personality Type)." Now, what makes TheThings.com experts at MBTI, I have no idea, but considering I've never seen them write any other MBTI articles and they get quite a few things obviously wrong here, I don't think they know MBTI very well. But before we really get into this rant, I want to remind you all of my Patreon. If you believe that I'm doing God's work helping to further MBTI theory, then I sure would appreciate the support. $1 a month really helps me out, but anything more than that would be even more appreciated and I have all sorts of goodies offered to those who do.

All right, then...

Hogwarts Houses

For those who don't know how the Hogwarts houses from Harry Potter break down, it's like this, and this is more or less a direct quote from Pat Boivin of the Super Best Friends Zaibatsu: "You can be a real cool guy, a huge nerd, a racist, or some assh*le called Hufflepuff." Basically in Harry Potter, the students are "sorted" via the Sorting Hat into "houses" which act like fraternities/sororities while students attend Hogwarts. The four houses are Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Slytherin, and Hufflepuff.

Each house is known for specific official and unofficial traits. Gryffindor is typically for the bravest of the brave and sometimes braggarts. Your heroes end up here. Ravenclaw is for the wise, smart, and intellectuals. Got a high IQ, love puzzles, and would rather mete out wise sayings than going out on Saturday night? Welcome to Ravenclaw. Slytherin is generally regarded as the "bad guy" house because most of the villains in HP come from Slytherin, but also because people who go to Slytherin are so ambitious, they're typically ambitious to an amoral fault.

As for Hufflepuff, ain't no gives two sh*ts about Hufflepuff. TheThings.com tries to argue that the most loyal and cooperative people go here, but JK Rowling herself said that everyone should want to be in Hufflepuff because it's the happiest of the four houses. It's the happy-go-lucky, wastefully cheerful house in a sense. And as an INTJ, I ain't got time for that. Not to mention, in one of the books, the Sorting Hat quotes the founder of Hufflepuff as saying, "I'll take the lot," and even singing that Hufflepuff "took the rest" whereas Slytherin wanted the most cunning, Gryffindor the bravest, and Ravenclaw the most intelligent. Basically, Hufflepuff is the catch all for people who have no notable traits.

ISTJ

Sorry that I needed a whole paragraph to sh*t on Hufflepuff. But going back to TheThings.com, not only am I pissed about how wrong they got INTJs, but I'm also a little ticked about what they got wrong about ISTJs. The writer says ISTJs would be Hufflepuffs because how important loyalty and cooperation is to them, and I have to call BS. While it is true that ISTJs have Si as their dominant function which makes them very conservative on many things, that doesn't exactly mean they believe in community. Not to mention, their auxiliary function is Te which while being rational, it is very opinionated. Take my Old Man for example: I'm pretty sure he's an ISTJ. He does things by the book, but he's very opinionated to the point of never believing himself wrong. And those types of people don't do well in "community" although they may believe in the essential principle.

Now, for those of you well versed in HP and MBTI, you're probably wondering why I haven't mentioned the fact that ISTJs are like Spock which means they should be Ravenclaws. But TheThings.com does have a primary and secondary house for each personality. They call ISTJs "Huffleclaws" since they admit to the fact that they would make great Ravenclaws. However, given that I practically live with Spock, I can tell you that Spock wouldn't have any friends in Hufflepuff. He might not have any in Ravenclaw, preferring to call them acquaintances or equals, but I don't think the arrogant ISTJ would admit to any Hufflepuff being his equal. It's not likely at the least. What's really funny is that I found another source, this time an image, that I more agree with in terms of the housing.

As you can see, ISTJs are put in Slytherin with a secondary mention to Ravenclaw. I'd probably have that the other way around and say that ISTJs are Ravenclaws first and Slytherins second, possibly even Gryffindors if their conservative "tried and true" methods are under attack, but this image is much more accurate than TheThings.com. The only way I could see an ISTJ going to Hufflepuff is if he's truly unremarkable as far as his smarts go and he doesn't really believe in fighting for tradition. But at that point, that might not be an ISTJ.

INTP, ENTJ, and ENFP

Before getting to the main even of INTJs, I want to take a quick look at INTPs, ENTJs, and ENFPs. TheThings.com listed INTPs as being Ravenclaw first and Slytherin second. The image I have disagrees on the secondary choice and chooses Gryffindor. I think we can all agree on the Ravenclaw part, but Slytherin versus Gryffindor requires some attention.

TheThings.com places INTPs in Slytherin due to their adaptability as one of the qualities that Dumbledore mentions that Salazar Slytherin, the founder of the house, valued was resourcefulness. While this is possible, I think an INTP is more likely to use their Prospecting trait within their auxiliary function Ne, meaning they're more capable of flexible thinking than flexible doing. This is a perfect match for Ravenclaw, but not necessarily for Slytherin.

Now, I know an INTP--my sister--and she's a very opinionated and passionate person. When it comes to politics or something stupid happening in the world of social justice, she will rally and rant like you've never seen a person rally and rant. Like, she'll rant to me about it, and then she'll rant to my Old Man when he gets home from work. She definitely seems to have a very developed Ti and Si, making her a loner who believes in and argues logically for "tried and true." In public and social situations, she can get along with just about anyone, but in private, she's very much an individual. This is all fantastic for Ravenclaw, but when she gets in a fighting mood to defend the status quo, she could definitely be a Gryffindor. So, I again have to agree with the image.

Going onto ENTJs, TheThings says they're pure Ravenclaw with no chance at being anything else. The image however says ENTJs are Slytherins first and Ravenclaws second. While we can all agree that ENTJs could be Ravenclaws because they're so analytical, but when you factor in the fact that they're all entrepreneurs and dynamos on top of that, things get a little murky. I could see them being Slytherins due to their entrepreneurial ambitions, but I think ENTJs could also be Gryffindors. It takes a lot of bravery to start a business yourself, and it takes even more bravery to do it again and again when it fails which does happen. 66% of small businesses close within their first 10 years. To face such odds and go through with it anyway, and to try again after you fail, that's a combination of tenacity and balls. Personally, I'd feel more comfortable calling ENTJs Gryfferins or Slytherdors than anything else.

Now, onto ENFPs. Here, both the image and TheThings agree with each other. They both place ENFPs in Gryffindor first and then Hufflepuff second. TheThings writer argues that ENFPs belong in Gryffindor because they always seek to do the right thing. True, ENFPs do posses Fi which is associated with strong personal morals, but I have to say, so what? INTJs also have Fi, and although it's their tertiary function versus ENFPs for whom it is their auxiliary function, there's no such thing as an INTJ hypocrite--there just isn't. INTJs and ENFPs alike have a very strong sense of self. And if having a strong sense of morality is all it takes to get into Gryffindor, then shouldn't anyone with an Fi function be able to get into Gryffindor?

As for their Hufflepuff side, TheThings says that ENFPs would be a shoe-in here because they're so supportive and able to connect with people. While it's possible that Hufflepuffs have this strong sense of community, it's never really mentioned in HP. Another problem is that ENFPs are known to be on the fence about whether they're introverted or extraverted. Many ENFPs consider themselves introverted and they've even been called the most introverted of the extraverts. So, just because an ENFP can connect with people, that doesn't mean that people are connecting with an ENFP. I have heard that ENFPs can be very guarded about themselves and feel as if no one really knows or gets them. And as Dumbledore said, "It's not our abilities who make us who we are, but our choices." So if an ENFP doesn't choose to let people in, is she really connecting to people, and doesn't this hurt the case for Hufflepuff?

TheThings also says that ENFPs are imaginative and creative which somehow is attributed to both houses, but I don't understand how and the writer doesn't explain. To be honest, if a personality is Intuitive and possesses either Ni or Ne in their dominant or auxiliary functions, I think they should be considered for Ravenclaw. I think whoever wrote the article really overlooked the effect(s) of Intuition on wisdom and intelligence. So, where would I put ENFPs then? I think they probably belong in Hufflepuff, but I see no reason for them not to be able to get into Ravenclaw.

INTJ

Finally! We get to the reason why I originally wanted to write this damn post. Anyway, TheThings says that INTJs are all-around Slytherins with no potential to be anything else. Um, excuse me, but what the f*ck did you just say!? At least the image gets it right and says they're Ravenclaws first and Slytherins second. But going back to TheThings, holy sh*t, is the writer's argument all over the damn place. This is where it really breaks down and I have to stop myself from smacking an idiot.

TheThings says that INTJs are "pure Slytherins" because while we do have original minds, we have an "innate understanding of what makes people tick" which I don't understand how that's an INTJ trait or a Slytherin trait. Is this person trying to say that both INTJs and Slytherins use or manipulate people? If not, and what the writer is actually saying is that INTJs have the ability to read people, then why isn't this seemingly very social quality not make us a perfect match for the sociable Hufflepuffs? I mean, hell, I know why an INTJ would never be a Hufflepuff, but the article writer doesn't seem to know what the hell they're talking about.

Going on, the writer accuses INTJs of not being analytical because they're not Ravenclaws (WHAT A BUNCH OF BULL SH*T!!!!!), but at least, according to the writer, we are "extremely adaptable" and can work around anything. This is true; INTJs can do anything. However, that's not the point. INTJs know this. We know we can do anything we set our minds to, but the problem is that we are selective about what we set our minds to because we have very personal and refined tastes. Yes, we are flexible, but only when we give a damn. The rest of the time, we do what we feel like.

Next, TheThings (man, I hate typing this stupid website's name) says that INTJs "want to be the best at whatever it is they're doing, especially if it's something they're passionate about." This is another point that requires some clarification. INTJs do want to be the best, like no one ever was. However, it's not a case of especially if it's something we're passionate about, it's a case of only if it's something we're passionate about. Sure, I did want to be the best bowler at my friend's birthday party a few weeks ago, but that feeling has subsided. I do however still want to be the best version of myself that I could be which includes being the best writer there ever was. Our desire to be the best at something we're not passionate about is generally a passing fancy, or only exists when we're engaged in that activity. If we never touch it again, we don't give a rat's ass.

Finally, TheThings says that we're some of the most loyal people you'll ever meet. This is true; no argument from me. However, how this is a Slytherin trait is beyond me because I was under the impression that loyalty was a Hufflepuff trait according to what the article writer said about ISTJs. Not to mention, loyalty was a big deal in HP, and in HP, all of the most important characters were Gryffindors, so what in the hell is this person talking about? I'm not saying that loyalty can't be a trait of other houses, but it should really only be a central trait of one or two.

So then, where would I place INTJs? Well, that should already be obvious. My first choice for INTJs is Ravenclaw with my second choice being Slytherin, but why? Well, I've taken the tests and quizzes online about which house I belong to at Hogwarts. I've even taking the one on Pottermore, and get this, depending on my attitude at the time, I can get either Ravenclaw or Slytherin. How does this happen? It comes down to one question: What do I value more: wisdom or ambition? On those days where I value wisdom, I get put into Ravenclaw, but on days I choose ambition, I'm put into Slytherin. I've even taken that test What Is Your Hybrid Hogwarts House and I got Slytherclaws, which I agree with wholeheartedly, even more so than Ravenclaw or Slytherin alone.

"Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings."
Salvador Dali

INTJs are wicked smart, intuitive, analytical, and sometimes when we speak, we sound like an old sage offering advice to young whipper-snappers who don't know their own asses from a seven dollar hat. But on the flip-side, we are ambitious, we don't have patience for people, we have a habit of trying to force our ways via pure willpower, and at our worst, we could be a Voldemort type villain--all the fixings are there.

Conclusion

Holy hell, this was longer than I expected. I apologize, but TheThings really got me riled up. It especially breaks my heart because the writer of the articles claims to be an ENFP. ENFPs and INTJs are kindred spirits, so we should be able to understand each other, so it breaks my heart that this ENFP doesn't understand INTJs. Although, I have heard that some people aren't totally honest with themselves when they take the MBTI test and varying tests yield varying results, so perhaps the article writer isn't a real ENFP. I hope to God he or she isn't. Especially if it's a she.

Anyway, my real conclusion is that INTJs have the potential for being both Ravenclaws and Slytherins. My personal feeling is that we pull closer to Ravenclaws, especially when you consider that we have a huge thing for eldritch knowledge, which you might think is a Slytherin trait, but we don't intend to use it to take over the world, so go, go Ravenclaw. As for the others, I don't really care if I'm wrong, but being an INTJ, I'm probably not.

For my next two posts, because it's spring and because I wrote a romance book, Tales of Romance: Unlike Lovers (buy it here!), I'm going to delve into the questions of whether or not INTJs believe in love and what they think about while and after making out. So, don't miss those. But first I have to get another post out on how to give the perfect hug because I've been sitting on that for a while. But regardless of what comes out first...

Keep writing, my friends.

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13 Spot-On Traits of an INTJ Personality Type: A Response to POPSUGAR

Hey, everyone.

So, I don't really know how to introduce this article. All's I can say is that this is a response to a POPSUGAR article called "13 Spot-On Traits of an INTJ Personality Type." Most of these are true regarding me, but as I have found in a lot of these INTJ articles as of late, they're full of stereotypes or they give you the basic-bitch information with none of the deeper explanations. The response articles therefore, have become me explaining the underlying reasoning and issues as to why INTJs have these characteristics. Anyway, let's get into this article, and if you enjoy my writing and would like to support it, you may do so over on Patreon. Even just a dollar a month, would go a long way toward ensuring my independence and making sure I bring you quality writing every month.

1. You were a bookworm as a kid.

Not true! I totally wasn't. Well, it depends what part of my childhood you're talking about. After reading The Hobbit and the Harry Potter series, I did sort of become a bookworm, but before either of those, I really didn't care much for books and I hated reading. Why read when I could watch TV or play video games? And after I had read The Hobbit and Harry Potter, I just went back to my old tricks. Although, I did have a brief stint with the Animorph series when I was in elementary school. But I would never call myself a bookworm. Do I like to read? Sure. But I don't always have my nose in a book.

2. You're a cynic.

This is quite true. However, our cynical natures are not derived from the fact that we're natural douchebags, but rather from a series of constant disappointments in the human race. As I pointed out last week in one of my articles, one of the reasons why we hold others to such high standards is because we know they're capable of being better than they are. From this perspective, we aren't cynic by nature, but it is rather a learned trait and we are actually hoping humanity will one day remove its head from its ass and figure out what this whole life thing is actually about.

3. You don't like rules or tradition.

That's not entirely true. Some rules need to exist because some people can't be trusted to act in a manner that is in the best interest of the universe, i.e. murderers, thieves, rapists, pedophiles, commies, nihilists, liberals, etc. Those rules I quite like. Similarly, some traditions are also good. I'm a practicing Catholic and one of things that keeps the Faith the Faith is its long-standing Tradition. It's "heritage," in a sense. It's actually a lot more than that, but I'm not here to discuss theology.

What we actually don't like is pointless rules or useless traditions. Some things do change with time, and some things need to change. Some rules are superfluous or only in place so that one party may unfairly benefit over another. And some things can just be done in better ways than already imagined. INTJs merely seek to keep everything even-Steven and at peak efficiency. And some things just don't make sense when you actually stop to think about them.

How is wearing my hat indoors rude?

4. You're always a step ahead.

Not always. I have been pwned pretty badly in the past for thinking I was ahead of the game, but generally speaking, we are ahead. Sometimes it's not even that we are ahead of the game, just ahead of the conversation and able to see where you're going before you get there.

5. You think with your head, not with your heart.

Well, no duh! I mean, how do you think with your heart?!

No, but seriously, leading with you heart almost always backfires and is incredibly painful. You lead with your head, and even if you do fail, the worst that is hurt is your pride, and who cares about that, but the main advantage with leading and thinking with your head is that you stay focused. That's actually how we stay a step ahead. It's a combination of recognizing patterns, thought power, and intuition, which all happens in the brain. There's no need during any of that to stop and ask ourselves how we're feeling.

6. You keep it real.

Yo, yo, yo! We keep's it r-eal, dawg! You dig?! Here's a shovel!

Yes, we do keep it real. This is due to a couple of factors. 1. We don't really know how to be anything than what we are, and we can't stand being something or someone else, unless we're up to something dastardly, 2. The virtues of truth and honesty are so deeply ingrained into us that after a while, using them is no longer a practice, but a habit. In fact, when we try to go against them, we almost cannot because our brains and bodies refuse to, and 3. We know we're sort of weird and don't really fit in, so we're completely apathetic about how people view us. It's like, "They already know I'm bald, so why bother wearing a toupee? I ain't fooling anybody." At the same time though, we may still wear a toupee and not care that everyone knows just for the simple fact that we like to pretend we still have hair.

7. You know what you want.

True. I would like millions of dollars, a buxom, devilish-saucy wife, and for my writing career to take off. Although, I'm not really sure what the advantage is in having this trait. I mean, my sister does drive me crazy when she can't make up her mind (she's an INTP), but out in the world, I don't know how I benefit from this.

It may give one focus and direction as I once was interviewed for an insurance salesman position and the interviewee asked me what I wanted in the future and I gave him a very detailed vision of my perfect home. He believed I would work well in the industry because I was able to have so detailed a vision, meaning I really wanted what I wanted, meaning I had a goal I wanted to achieve.

 Obviously though, I didn't pursue that career.

8. You're self-confident.

Generally. I had my self-confidence shattered back around Christmas and I'm still recovering from it. But, there's very little doubt in my mind about what I should do with my life. As I like to say these days, I didn't choose writing, writing chose me. And I feel that way about many other aspects in my life. That is to say, I have so much confidence in those aspects that it almost seems like I'm destined for them. (Although, I don't believe in destiny.)

9. You're open-minded.

Sort of. Depends how you define it. We can definitely entertain a new line of thinking or a new perspective without rejecting it immediately. However, that is not to say that we won't reject it at all or that we won't reject it pretty damn quickly. Once that has happened, it's no longer up for discussion unless new evidence can be brought before us. Otherwise we close our minds entirely to it after that perceiving it to be nothing but the drivel of lesser minds, poor choices, or some feelings bullsh*t. (Don't get me started on the liberals again.)

10. You have difficulty expressing your emotions.

Enh, not really. If it's the right person, I can express my emotions just fine. Believe me, I've got plenty of melancholy poetry that proves I'm just an emo, Goth kid at heart that was never totally accepted by society. Although, in person I do find it awkward to talk about my emotions, or even talk at all. Writing is much easier.

11. You're a hard worker.

Sometimes. Other times, it's just that we're so good at something that we just don't feel the effort we're putting in. Example: I've been helping my uncle with a writing project. One day, it took him three hours to write 500 words. Before Christmas, while working on one of my opera, I wrote 2000 words in one hour. Now, I'm not always capable of that, but that's not the first time it's happened.

However, there are other times when hard work is necessary for us. I'm not entirely sure why we have a propensity for hard work. To some extent, it feels good. It makes us feel accomplished. Other times, it's fun and pleasant to get into a flow while working at something hard. It's like a meditative trance. I guess working hard can be an mental experience for us. Also, because we feel accomplished when we're done, we may feel like we've improved ourselves in some way, and you know what high-esteem we have for self-improvement.

12. You're independent.

People let you down. Not necessarily on purpose, but when you're by yourself, you only have yourself to blame which isn't easy to do, so you're more likely to push for success and often get it. As a result, independence looks infinitely more appealing than working with others. Not too mention, with fewer people involved, there are fewer possible complications. It's a hell of a lot more efficient.

13. You have a dark sense of humor.

Phew! I just tried committing suicide. I'll never do that again. I almost killed myself!

I guess you have to have been there.

CONCLUSION

So, as you can see, there are twelve of these traits that I definitely agree with. If you see one or two of these in a person, I wouldn't say he or she is definitively an INTJ, however, if he has at least ten or more, I'd say it's a pretty likely he is an INTJ. Problem with that though is whether or not you'll know this person well enough to say if he has ten of these qualities. Good luck with that.

Anyway, for my next article, I think I'll be taking a look at the top seven gift ideas for INTJs. Some people out there have the balls to say we're difficult to shop for--I disagree. But, anyway, until then...

Keep writing, my friends.

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Would an INTJ Say These 10 Things You Shouldn't Say to an ENFP?: A Response to Psychology Junkie

Hey, everyone.

So, if you're an INTJ or an ENFP, or you spend a lot of time in the world of MBTI, you're likely aware that INTJs and ENFPs are supposed to be destined for each other. INTJs give ENFPs the structure they need to mature, and ENFPs give INTJs an outlet for their more relaxed side. But is this relationship truly a match made in heaven?

Whilst trolling through Pinterest, I found an article on Psychology Junkie titled "10 Things You Should Never Say to an ENFP," and I had two major thoughts while reading this list: 1. Many of these shouldn't be said to an INTJ, either, and 2. An INTJ would totally say these things to someone else.

INTJs are well-known for being contradictory, so this contradiction shouldn't come as a surprise to many. So, after having that second thought, I began to wonder if INTJs and ENFPs are really soul mates. Let's look through this list and I'll tell you which of these ten items an INTJ would say to an ENFP, and why they can say these without feeling like hypocrites.

1. Because that's how it's always been done.

This statement rubs both personalities the wrong way, but for different reasons: INTJs dislike forced tradition, especially when no one has even considered a better method, and ENFPs just dislike the tired, tried-and-true method. But, an INTJ would totally say this to an ENFP.

The INTJ is a creature of habit and resists change as much as possible. The problem with "change" is that there's no guarantee it will be better than what exists now, and sometimes change doesn't work which is inefficient, not to mention the inefficiency in trying to integrate the change. Most things in an INTJ's world must be just so, so when an ENFP starts asking questions and asking why things can't be different, the INTJ may just throw this statement down and not bother to give an explanation because if the ENFP can just leave it at that, it would be more convenient for everybody involved and that fits the INTJ like a speedo.

2. Be more realistic.

Another one that would grind the gears of both personalities. Both would rather focus on what could be rather than what is; both types are dreamers and visionaries. But INTJs can be extremely pragmatic when necessary, and if there should come a time when dealing with an ENFP who just can't seem to face the facts and accept things as they are, the INTJ will get annoyed and slap this on her, hoping it'll stop her from being a pain in the ass. (That's right; I assume the INTJ is a masculine personality and ENFP is a feminine one. Come at me, bro.)

3. Because I said so.

"And just who the hell are you? What's your authority? Where does it come from? Was it earned, or are in the family business?"

This statement doesn't cut much mustard with either personality because unless a person has passed their rigorous tests and met their exceedingly high standards, then a person's right to authority is up for debate.

However, INTJs would totally say this to ENFPs. INTJs are stubborn, and generally, the only authority they trust is their own. And since they don't like explaining themselves or because other people don't need to have the "plan" explained to them, INTJs would expect this line to be the only qualifier ENFPs need to fall in line. And it certainly doesn't help that many of the things an INTJ says end up coming to pass, so if an ENFP doesn't heed the INTJ's word, she'll have to deal with a mild, but very smug, form of gloating for the rest of her life. And with that sort of accuracy, an INTJ's word usually becomes prophecy.

4. You can't do that.

"Hold my beer and watch this."

That's what both personalities would say, especially if what they're trying to do is something they really want or is something where other people's disbelief is incredibly strong. Both INTJs and ENFPs like making the impossible possible. But, once again, an INTJ would say this to an ENFP. Chances are good he's already thought the situation through from every angle and weighed the possibility of every outcome. While somewhere deep down, the INTJ might believe "everything is possible," but to make conversation more convenient, he'll just say this instead of trying to explain to the ENFP why it would be better not to try. And again, that's that "INTJ Authority." It's been well tested and proven.

5. You have no idea.

Oh, boy... As Intuitives, we've had a lot of ideas, and if someone just stopped for a second and tried to explain it to us, we'd bet you 20 bucks, we could grasp the idea. We're open-minded enough to do it. But when it comes to Intuitives interacting and sharing their thoughts and ideas with each other, there's a lot to process. And the place where those thoughts and ideas originate are so large, so marvelous, both the INTJ and ENFP have a hard time understanding their own heads. So, it's just easier and more convenient to say "You have no idea" rather than taking the time and effort to delve into those deep recesses and explain it.

6. You're such a flirt.

Now, this one is bit different. INTJs won't say this per se, but they may say something to the effect of it. I can't see most INTJs using the word "flirt" as a noun, only as a verb. They're more likely to say "tease," or if they're foul-mouthed, which most of them are, "cocktease" even if there are no c*cks in play. "Vamp" and "coquette" are also fair game.

Now, according to Psychology Junkie, this statement irritates ENFPs because they hate having their motivations questioned when they're just trying to be friendly. I guess the assumption is supposed to be that most people assume ENFPs have ulterior motives for their playful behaviors. But, if an INTJ arrived at this conclusion, he isn't likely to say anything to the ENFP. He'll just conclude his business and be on his way, most likely thinking her to be mighty strange.

7. Here's your project. The deadline is tomorrow.

An INTJ is only likely to say this to an ENFP if they're working together and the INTJ is the boss. In a working environment, this statement is totally free game, but in a personal relationship, no. However, there is something like this that an INTJ might say. Looking at #8...

8. Stop brainstorming and just decide.

An INTJ would definitely say this to an ENFP. Well, not that "brainstorming" part. I don't know about the rest of you, but I think of "brainstorming" as a part of the creative process; it's something you do in the "pre-production" stages of a project. But, an INTJ would definitely push an ENFP to make a decision about an important life event if he felt she was dragging her feet. True, an INTJ might be just as indecisive, but most of the time, when an INTJ makes up his mind, he secures the course. ENFPs are the kind of people that know they have a reputation for flightiness so they try to minimize the effect of that reputation as much as possible. As a result, they want to consider a decision from every angle to make sure they don't get buyer's remorse.

So, while both types have this issue, once a decision is made, they handle their decision in very different ways. Because INTJs are stubborn bastards and stay along a path they don't necessarily like for a while, they think this balances out the time they took to make the decision. But because ENFPs don't have this quality, INTJs aren't likely to put up with them taking a long time to decide something.

9. You're perfectly normal.

This is definitely something you don't want to say to an INTJ. We abhor normal. I mean, on the one hand, it does give a convenient framework from which we can launch our own research, but we are by no means normal. Why? Because we are imaginative, visionary, and think outside the box. And guess what? So are ENFPs. Basically anyone who is an Intuitive doesn't like being called "normal." Sensing types are normal, we're not. But, would an INTJ say this to an ENFP?

Yes. See, it's one thing to be imaginative and visionary, but when you factor in how other people see you and whether or not you're generally accepted by the public, this is where the disparity between the two types comes in to play. While most people demonstrate acceptance of INTJs on the surface, that is, as long as we do what we're supposed to and there are no surprises, everything's okie-dokie, artichokie. But, if most people knew what INTJs were like in private, they wouldn't be very accepting of us, and the problem with that is that who we are in private is who we actually are. Who we are in public is artifice. And I can already hear the ENFPs screaming that they're the same way, but from the perspective of an INTJ, you're really not.

Because you're Feeling types and Extraverted, you can connect with people in so effortless a way, it looks like a kind of well-practiced artifice; it's almost sorcery or witchcraft. Because of this uncanny ability, despite the fact that you might have big, imaginative, and visionary ideas, you'll always be able to find someone who's willing to listen to you and to give you a platform to be heard. People may not understand you or your ideas, but because you're able to connect with them in other ways, they'll accept you as one of their own, albeit, just think you're a little strange. This is not the case with INTJs. Therefore, although you may not be normal, INTJs will always consider you to be "normal."

10. If you really cared about me, you'd...

Oh, so you want to stress test my feelings for you? Well...

See, just saying this to an INTJ puts us in a rebellious, ready-for-a-fight type of attitude. You want to put conditions on us and our feelings because you don't understand how we operate or just because we don't operate within your ideals of love. Now, let's be fair, if you do care about someone, you won't be an assh*le to them. And if you are, you'll feel badly about it later. My mother has used lines like this on me to get me to wash the dishes. It didn't work, not because I don't love my mother, but rather because I knew she wasn't serious. And, if she had pushed this angle a little, I probably would've caved and washed the dishes. Anyway, would an INTJ say this to an ENFP?

In a healthy relationship, no. Maybe only as a joke or as some gentle prodding to get her to do anal, but other than that, no. In an unhealthy relationship, however, where the INTJ is manipulative or the ENFP is immature, yes, it would come up. It might also come up in a relationship where the INTJ doesn't have a lot of experience dating and the ENFP does. This would be a problem because the ENFP doesn't know how to show love for the INTJ because he himself doesn't really know what he wants or likes. But, the line "If you loved me, you would..." is more of the start to a philosophical conversation about how love is demonstrated rather than as a means to box the ENFP in to doing something she doesn't want to. It's an INTJ trying to straighten things out and make sense of the whole relationship-thing. It's not manipulation, it's reasoning.

Conclusion

So, are INTJs and ENFPs really a match made in heaven, or is that just hypothetic rhetoric? Well, it's difficult to say. Although an INTJ may say a lot of these things to an ENFP, even his ENFP, it's not because he's not understanding of her. They would be used as shortcuts for when he doesn't want to explain himself or for those times when he's just tired of the ENFP. And, I can already hear it, the voices of hundreds of irritated ENFP girlfriends saying things like, "Please, explain yourself! We'll listen! It doesn't matter how long it takes!" and "Please, don't say that to us. It stings to the core."

So, let this be a lesson, to us both. For us INTJs, don't be too quick to bust these out on your ENFP as she's more like you than you think (you know, treat her the way you want to be treated), and for ENFPs, don't get upset if your INTJ says these things. Just genuinely explain yourself to him that it hurts when he does, and he'll be more than happy to adjust. That is, if he loves you. If he's just an assh*le, don't expect it, but this would be the perfect time to litmus test that.

Anyway, that's it for now. I'll see you guys next week where I'll be doing a response to POPSUGAR on 13 spot-on signs that someone is an INTJ. And fear not, I am preparing some original articles. I don't know when they'll be out, but expect the first ghost when the bell tolls one.

Keep writing, my friends.

More About Bryan C. Laesch:

My Works:

Amazon: My Author Page, My Influencer Page
Facebook: Bryan C. Laesch, Bawdy Scholar
Patreon: Bryan C. Laesch
Twitter: BryanofallTrade
Youtube: Bryan C. Laesch, Bawdy Scholar

25 Struggles Only INTJs Will Understand: A Response to Thought Catalog, Part II

Hey, everyone.

This is part II of my response to Thought Catalog's "25 Struggles Only INTJs Will Understand." If you haven't read the first part yet, you can find it here. Otherwise, let's get back to the action.

9. When your argument is valid, well researched, and factual, and yet the person you’re presenting it to still won’t accept it because it doesn’t correspond to their precise worldview.

This hasn't happened a lot to me since I don't argue with people because I don't have the patience for it, but it does remind me of people who say they like the Star Wars prequels or even the new ones despite the fact they agree with all the reasons why they're terrible. (And you thought INTJs are contradictory.)
 

10. Always coming up with the perfect comeback three hours after you need it.

I thought everyone suffered from this.
 

11. When you can recognize the value of making decisions quickly and yet your brain refuses to do so until you’ve mentally cycled through absolutely EVERY possible outcome first.

Well, it is always best to take action now rather than sit on it, but, yes, I often like to think things through. Sometimes past the point of taking action.
 

12. When a conversation with someone doesn’t unfold the way you meticulously planned for it to in your mind.

Yeah... This does happen. But again, according to a YouTube video I once saw, a lot of people suffer from this.
 

13. People assuming you’re being antisocial when you’re really just surveying your environment, trying to understand how to best interact with it.

Well, I don't know about the second part, but the first part is true. Generally, I survey the area from a distance because there's nothing else to do. What am I going to do? Survey it from up close? Sort of defeats the purpose of surveying. And it's not like I could actually interact with my environment up close. What sort of madness is that?

 

14. Being deliberate and thoughtful in your approach to building relationships in a world full of people who are careless and flakey in their approach to doing the same.

Hey, have I told you guys about my friend Mary, yet?
 

15. Having a vague, nagging feeling and requiring hours – if not days – to pinpoint what it is and where it’s coming from.

It doesn't usually take days for me, but I am familiar with this phenomenon.
 

16. Being forced to exist in a world where communication is largely subtle and implicit (and therefore wildly ineffective).

I have mixed feelings about this one. On the one hand, I understand that most communication is subtle and implicit, and that's how we are. But on the other hand, it is terribly inefficient.
 

17. On the flip side, having your particular form of subtlety go completely unnoticed by others when you do decide to implement it.

Holy sh*t! Yes!!! It's amazing to me how blind some people can be.
 

18. Constantly developing strange, niche interests that even you don’t completely understand.

I generally understand them, and they're not constantly developing, but I do have a lot of niche interests. I think, anyway. Maybe they're not really niche, just uncommon.
 

19. Constantly being called heartless by others, when in reality you experience deep, complex emotions just like anyone else. You just prefer to wear your logic on your sleeve rather than your heart.

I've never been called heartless, but I have been accused of being emotionless. One of these accusations happened on the playground during lunch when I was in middle school. I laughed at it because 1. I wanted to show I did have emotion, 2. The accusation was laughable (see #1), and 3. I don't know why the hell Lauren F. would care if I showed emotion or not.

Although, being this kind of Heartless would be badass.

 

20. Holding yourself to ridiculously high expectations at all times and therefore feeling the impact of failure much more intensely than others seem to – because you know without a doubt what you’re capable of.

There is something incredibly empowering knowing all my successes lie with me, but it's also extremely depressing to know that all my failures are mine. But at least, it's bad ass to say something like, "I'm the dominant force in my life. All my successes are mine... as are my failures." Holy sh*t. I could slap that on a t-shirt on sell it. (Copyright Bryan C. Laesch 2017)
 

21. Holding the people you care about to similarly high expectations, despite knowing that you can’t control their actions.

Yeah... It's said INTJs think highly only of themselves, but if that were true, we wouldn't hold others to high standards. I just want to think the best I can of everyone, and it's terribly dismaying when I know someone is capable of better, but they revel in being a pezza di merda.

 

22. Being perfectly capable of ‘Relaxing and enjoying life’ – but only after all the items on your to-do list are checked off.

Enh. My to-do list isn't that important to me. Maybe it's because there's too much on it, and I just figure that I'm not going to get everything done, so I just don't worry about it.
 

23. Being idealistic in your ability to perceive optimal outcomes to problems – but realistic in your understanding that nobody’s going to be willing to put in the necessary work to achieve that outcome.

Yeah, man. This is like the whole expectations and standards thing. It's like, we're capable of doing so much more and being so much better, so let's go balls to the wall, rock out with our c*cks out, and blow everyone's mind! But no one wants to do that. They want to scrape by with as little effort as possible. Che triste.
 

24. Becoming inexplicably stuck on small details or seemingly insignificant pieces of information if they do not fit into the system of logic you’ve constructed internally. To others, it looks like fixation. To you, it’s just the unyielding need for everything to remain logically consistent.

I want to say this is true, but I can't think of a specific example from my life where it is or has been.

 

25. The constant desire to give up on the external world altogether and become a hermit – but with the corresponding understanding that as a hermit, you would be unlikely to get anything meaningful done. And so, life as you know it goes on.

Holy sh*t, yes. This is so damn true. Although, being a writer, I don't have the luxury of letting life as I know it go on. If I don't put some serious effort into changing it, I'll be stuck here for the rest of my life. But I'm not going to lie, forsaking this world and it's possessions, temptations, and frustrations looks better and better every year.

Conclusion

So, if you couldn't tell from my comments, these are all true, although some are more accurate than others. Hopefully, if you're an INTJ, this lets you know that you're not alone in your struggles, and for those of you who have INTJs in your lives, hopefully this will give you some insight into their problems. And inform you on how to stop being such an ass! Anyway, that's going to be it from me this time. This week's second article will be about 10 things you shouldn't say to an ENFP and whether or not an INTJ would say those things to an ENFP. Is the mythical romance between the ENFP and INTJ all that's cracked up to be?! Find out later this week. Until then...

Keep writing, my friends.

More About Bryan C. Laesch:

My Works:

Amazon: My Author Page, My Influencer Page
Facebook: Bryan C. Laesch, Bawdy Scholar
Patreon: Bryan C. Laesch
Twitter: BryanofallTrade
Youtube: Bryan C. Laesch, Bawdy Scholar

25 Struggles Only INTJs Will Understand: A Response to Thought Catalog, Part I

Hey, everyone.

So, in keeping with my hopes to reignite my interest in writing, as well as the fact that I'm sitting on several topics already, here's another response post. This one is to Thought Catalog on their article "25 Struggles Only INTJs Will Understand." Will these struggles be my struggles, or can I add these to the ways I buck the INTJ stereotype? FYI: this post will only cover struggles 1 through 8 because I get a little long-winded in some of these first ones and I get a lot long-winded with #8. So, Part II will be up next week. So, let's take a look at these struggles.

1. When you want to explain something concisely but instead end up giving a three-hour speech on the origins of this particular school of thought and the various opinions that surround it because you can’t bear to explain only part of the bigger picture.

Well, this isn't accurate to the letter, but the spirit/theme is. I try to explain things on my blog as concisely as possible, but I always feel the need to add a lot of specifying detail just so my audience knows exactly where I'm coming from and what I mean. I don't know if it's as much an INTJ thing as it is an English major thing; you know, "state your thesis and defend it." Yeah, English majors have to master that.
 

2. When someone tries to change the plan at the last minute, not understanding that you now have to re-construct the entire day (and all the corresponding scenarios you might encounter throughout it) mentally – which takes much more time than you’re being given.

Well, this overdramatizes the problem a bit, but it's partially true. I know I've made plans with friends and then at the last minute, they change them and I have difficulty adjusting to the new plan. This most often happens with my friend Mary.

One time I went to meet her for coffee, and when I got to the shop, she told me to get in her car and we went to a bar because she needed a drink. We then went to a sushi place; it was my first time--I wasn't impressed. She tried to further push the day by saying we should go to a hooka bar, but grazie a Dio, it was closed. She's also changed meeting times at the last minute too because she can't get her ass in gear and then my being anally-on-time turns into an extremely-anally-early.

 

 

3. Everyone assuming that you’re glaring at them when you’re really just concentrating intensely.

Well, sort of. When I concentrate, I make sure not to look at somebody so they don't think I'm staring at them. Truth is, if I'm looking/staring at you, I mean to stare at you.
 

4. Having the intelligence and decisiveness to be a revolutionary leader but completely lacking the patience to deal with the people you’d have to lead.

Yeah, that's definitely true. Except for me, the big issue would be the responsibility involved. Leadership comes with a lot of it, and that doesn't do me well as it means I can't just cut-and-run when I want to. Sometimes I get super anxious about certain decisions, like I'm locked-in to them. When that happens, I run and I run fast.
 

5. When friends or coworkers encourage you to ‘lighten up!’ or ‘smile!’ as though that is going to solve the problem that you’re working on.

Pretty much, except my problem with "lighten up" and "smile" is that if I think I'm smiling or lightening up artificially, I'm going to hate myself for it. I want such moments in my life to be genuine, not just because some assh*le told me to.

 

6. When you have no choice but to follow an inefficient rule and it makes you die a little inside every time.

Depends on how inefficient the rule is and whether or not I'm getting paid. If I'm getting paid, I can swallow my pride and do it. But if it's pro bono and it's super inefficient, like that time I tried to schedule an appointment to see my counselor at Wayne State when I was at the counseling office and they told me I had to call to schedule, yeah, I died a lot that day.
 

7. People constantly assuming you’re shy when really you just aren’t interested in wasting mental energy conversing about 90% of the topics that are brought up over the course of a day.

Yeah, more or less. Although, in my case, they don't assume I'm shy, they just assume I'm an assh*le.

 

8. Your brain’s tendency to mull over each social interaction for weeks after the fact, analyzing what you could have done or said differently.

Something like that. I do mull over social interactions long after they've happened, but it's not necessarily because I'm wondering what I could've done differently. It's usually because I'm wondering what the other person was thinking or why they were doing what they were doing. Would you like an example from my own life? Story time, kids!

So, years ago, I went to Stony Creek Metropark with my friend Mary to go kayaking. We did and we ended up kayaking a good distance across the lake. It turned out to be a super distance that I hadn't realized at the time because the current helped to take us out and then we had to fight it on our way back. Phew! Very tiring. Anyway...

We found a shady spot along the shore and got out of our kayaks. Suddenly, Mary looks over at me and says, "Oh! Now that we're in water, you can pick me up." I was terribly bewildered by this statement because she had said it as if this was something we had planned beforehand, and I had no memory of it. So for the first couple of minutes that I'm holding her, I'm terribly confused, trying to remember if this was something she had told me. Turns out she hadn't; she was just being spontaneous.

So, I'm standing in water in which I can still touch the bottom of the lake, I'm 6'4"-6'5" remember, and I'm holding her like you might hold a girl as you carry her over the threshold. Not a particularly sexual/intimate hold, but for some reason, I'm intensely and strangely sexually attracted to Mary--I don't know why. So, you can imagine what sort of physiological side effect this scenario has on me, and the whole time I'm thinking, "She has to be able to feel that. There's no way she can't." Anyway, because she can't stand in the depths we're in and I was curious to see if she was just as light if I held her the other way, I had to drop her legs from one arm, embraced her with both, and swept her legs up with the other arm. And then I did it back, and again, the whole time our bodies are touching and touching.

Skip ahead a few years, I'm thinking about this incident while I'm in the bathroom and I have the revelation "Hey!!! Was she flirting with me?! Did she want the D, or a kiss, or something?" because why else would a girl put herself into that position with a boy, right? I asked her about it, and while she said she didn't remember the incident, she said she reserved the right to flirt with me when the moment strikes her. And! She said another time that that's just how people flirt when swimming, which is news to me, and I'm pretty sure it's news to a lot of other people, too.

Since then, so that I don't look like a cuck or a beta male, I've instituted a new swimming rule that says whenever a girl gets so close to me that the only thing keeping me out of her is two very-thin-layers-of-whatever-they-make-swimsuits-from, I'm going to kiss her because I think that's what most girls are after in such a situation. And if the girl gets pissed, I'm going to tell her, "Look, honey: if you don't want to be treated like my girlfriend, don't act like my girlfriend."




Phew. That took up a lot of time. Anyway...

 

So, just as I said, that's where I'm going to halt things for this week. Look for Part II to come out on Tuesday night next week.

Keep writing, my friends.

More About Bryan C. Laesch:

My Works:

Amazon: My Author Page, My Influencer Page
Facebook: Bryan C. Laesch, Bawdy Scholar
Patreon: Bryan C. Laesch
Twitter: BryanofallTrade
Youtube: Bryan C. Laesch, Bawdy Scholar

10 Things You Should Never Say to an INTJ: A Response to Psychology Junkie

Hey, everyone.

So, yeah, I've had the devil's time of getting back into writing. Part of the problem is I got a video game or two that I don't need to connect to the Internet in order to enjoy, so I've been playing the crap out of those. So, I'm going to try to get a couple of response posts out to make up for the lack of production, and in this one, we're looking at 10 things you should never say to an INTJ as speculated by Psychology Junkie here. Are they right, or will this be another list of ways I buck the stereotype? Let's get into it.

1. You Don’t Know What You’re Talking About

While it's possible I don't know what I'm talking about, if I decide to join a conversation, then that most likely means I have something to contribute, which means there's at least an 80% chance that I know something about the topic. True, a person won't necessarily know that my contributions are rare, but if you know a person is an INTJ, you really shouldn't say this to him as he will definitely take it as an insult.

2. You Think Too Much

Maybe you don't think enough, you ever think of that?! Huh? Huh?!

But seriously, INTJs might be over-thinkers. A friend of mine once compared me to Hamlet because I had a tendency to think so much about my problems that I would think them dead, to the point where action was no longer a choice, or I would convince myself into not taking action. So, learning to think less could be good for INTJs. But! I am forced to ask: have you ever looked at the world and wondered why it's so f*cked up? There are a few reasons for this, but one of them is that very few people think about what they're doing. So, how about this? I'll promise to think less if you retards promise to think more. Deal?

3. You Need to Lighten Up!

INTJs don't lighten up, at least, not out in public. At home, we can be very light, absurd, and downright ridiculous if the mood strikes. But, if someone tells us this while we're out, we're going to darken even further. This statement comes across as criticism, so we're likely to take it negatively, and we don't like it when other people try to tell us our business or take undeserved authority above us.

4. You Can’t Do That

Hold my beer and watch this.

5. You Should Smile More

Again, just like with thinking too much, maybe you smile too much, and just like with lightening up, we're more likely to frown harder and heavier when told this. What makes you such an expert on the ways of life that you know for a fact smiling would improve my life somehow?

But seriously, when it comes to smiling, I really hate it when people are disingenuous or seem to be wastefully cheerful. As a result, I don't want to cheapen my smile or my happiness by smiling when I don't actually feel like it. I want all my smiles to be genuine. So, if I'm scowling and you don't like it, give me a reason to smile. Or f*ck off. Either or.

6. Because This is How It’s Always Been Done

Well, maybe there's a better way or maybe it's time things change.

This isn't always the case, some things should never change, but there is a lot that can. Where technology is concerned, there's almost certainly a better way of doing things if you're willing to experiment a little.

On a more personal note, I used to wear a hat all the time, including indoors. Why? Because I like hats. But my parents would always try to get me to take it off. I finally asked why one day, and my Old Man said that by wearing a hat indoors, I'm insinuating to my host that I'm in a rush to leave. Personally, I don't think this argument holds any water, especially not among family and friends. I thought of a better reason later which was that a hat shelters your head while outside, but when inside, you have a roof for shelter and to keep wearing your hat indoors can be an insult to your host because it's like you're saying, "I don't trust your roof to keep me sheltered, so I'm going to rely on my own."

But, way back when, I mostly wore my hat indoors because it was a part of my look and I liked it. So, when people told me to take it off, I refused, and it was partially because I wanted to be contrary to show that an old-fashioned tradition doesn't mean sh*t these days. So, don't say this to INTJs unless you can give a good argument as to why a procedure or tradition has never changed.

7. You Need to Go Out More

Maybe you go out too much! You ever think of that, huh?!

No, but seriously; there's not much out in the world that we want to see and experience for ourselves. My mother knew someone who went to Machu Picchu, and when she asked him how it was, he said it was exactly like it was on TV. I took that to mean that there are some things out there that are not any better in person than they are in a photograph. Plus, going out more means that we would have to deal with people more and we aren't people persons. And since we're not very social to begin with, and we're unintentionally weird, we are likely to "go out" without any sense or idea of what to do after. Without some better direction, we're not going to know what to do with "out" when we find it.

So, if you want to tell us to go out, make sure you give us a good reason why and list a few places we can go that might be of interest to us.

8. I Just Decided to Pop Over!

Yeah, don't do this. Even if you're friends with the INTJ. For starters, it's just plain rude because we might be busy, and secondly, INTJs abhor disturbances and distractions. And with how weird we can be, you might walk in on something really strange and we won't want to explain ourselves because that'll be more embarrassing than what you caught us doing. Just, just don't do it.

9. Here, Let Me Show You How It’s Done

Well, we're not insane, so if it's something that we genuinely don't know how to do, it's fine. But when I say "fine," I mean the womanly "fine"--the lying "fine." Everything will eventually be truly fine, but to avoid all tension and problems, what you should do is tell us how to do it, just don't do so condescendingly. Also, we're smart enough to make the necessary jumps in logic to the next steps, so don't be surprised if we're a faster study/learner than the people you usually explain things to.

10. That’ll Never Happen

I could go into a big thing about how INTJs love possibility and we're romantic enough to be like, "Never say never" or some crap, but I'm going to keep this short and leave you with this:

Conclusion

In conclusion, Psychology Junkie is more or less right. These are 10 things you should never say to an INTJ, although #8 is more of something you shouldn't do to an INTJ. I mean, when I say "should," I don't mean we're going to rip your arms out of your sockets for saying these things to us, but we will be upset, and in some cases, we'll damn near kill ourselves just to prove you wrong, which could actually result in something cool or wonderful happening, but it's probably not a good idea.

Anyway, that's it for now. I'll see you guys on the flip side.

Keep writing, my friends.

More About Bryan C. Laesch:

My Works:

Amazon: My Author Page, My Influencer Page
Facebook: Bryan C. Laesch, Bawdy Scholar
Patreon: Bryan C. Laesch
Twitter: BryanofallTrade
Youtube: Bryan C. Laesch, Bawdy Scholar