Monday, April 30, 2018

Your ACTUAL Hogwarts House (According To Your Myers Briggs Personality Type): A Response to The

Hey, everyone.

So, I know this is kind of late. It was my intention to have it out earlier this week. Technically, last week. Things really get busy around here on weekends for some reason. I never get anything done. And my internet decides to be a f*cktard and things that should take 15 mins end up taking more than an hour.

Anyway, today's topic is one that I've been sitting on for a while. Since back in December I think. Basically, wrote an article called "Your ACTUAL Hogwarts House (According To Your Myers Brigs Personality Type)." Now, what makes experts at MBTI, I have no idea, but considering I've never seen them write any other MBTI articles and they get quite a few things obviously wrong here, I don't think they know MBTI very well. But before we really get into this rant, I want to remind you all of my Patreon. If you believe that I'm doing God's work helping to further MBTI theory, then I sure would appreciate the support. $1 a month really helps me out, but anything more than that would be even more appreciated and I have all sorts of goodies offered to those who do.

All right, then...

Hogwarts Houses

For those who don't know how the Hogwarts houses from Harry Potter break down, it's like this, and this is more or less a direct quote from Pat Boivin of the Super Best Friends Zaibatsu: "You can be a real cool guy, a huge nerd, a racist, or some assh*le called Hufflepuff." Basically in Harry Potter, the students are "sorted" via the Sorting Hat into "houses" which act like fraternities/sororities while students attend Hogwarts. The four houses are Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Slytherin, and Hufflepuff.

Each house is known for specific official and unofficial traits. Gryffindor is typically for the bravest of the brave and sometimes braggarts. Your heroes end up here. Ravenclaw is for the wise, smart, and intellectuals. Got a high IQ, love puzzles, and would rather mete out wise sayings than going out on Saturday night? Welcome to Ravenclaw. Slytherin is generally regarded as the "bad guy" house because most of the villains in HP come from Slytherin, but also because people who go to Slytherin are so ambitious, they're typically ambitious to an amoral fault.

As for Hufflepuff, ain't no gives two sh*ts about Hufflepuff. tries to argue that the most loyal and cooperative people go here, but JK Rowling herself said that everyone should want to be in Hufflepuff because it's the happiest of the four houses. It's the happy-go-lucky, wastefully cheerful house in a sense. And as an INTJ, I ain't got time for that. Not to mention, in one of the books, the Sorting Hat quotes the founder of Hufflepuff as saying, "I'll take the lot," and even singing that Hufflepuff "took the rest" whereas Slytherin wanted the most cunning, Gryffindor the bravest, and Ravenclaw the most intelligent. Basically, Hufflepuff is the catch all for people who have no notable traits.


Sorry that I needed a whole paragraph to sh*t on Hufflepuff. But going back to, not only am I pissed about how wrong they got INTJs, but I'm also a little ticked about what they got wrong about ISTJs. The writer says ISTJs would be Hufflepuffs because how important loyalty and cooperation is to them, and I have to call BS. While it is true that ISTJs have Si as their dominant function which makes them very conservative on many things, that doesn't exactly mean they believe in community. Not to mention, their auxiliary function is Te which while being rational, it is very opinionated. Take my Old Man for example: I'm pretty sure he's an ISTJ. He does things by the book, but he's very opinionated to the point of never believing himself wrong. And those types of people don't do well in "community" although they may believe in the essential principle.

Now, for those of you well versed in HP and MBTI, you're probably wondering why I haven't mentioned the fact that ISTJs are like Spock which means they should be Ravenclaws. But does have a primary and secondary house for each personality. They call ISTJs "Huffleclaws" since they admit to the fact that they would make great Ravenclaws. However, given that I practically live with Spock, I can tell you that Spock wouldn't have any friends in Hufflepuff. He might not have any in Ravenclaw, preferring to call them acquaintances or equals, but I don't think the arrogant ISTJ would admit to any Hufflepuff being his equal. It's not likely at the least. What's really funny is that I found another source, this time an image, that I more agree with in terms of the housing.

As you can see, ISTJs are put in Slytherin with a secondary mention to Ravenclaw. I'd probably have that the other way around and say that ISTJs are Ravenclaws first and Slytherins second, possibly even Gryffindors if their conservative "tried and true" methods are under attack, but this image is much more accurate than The only way I could see an ISTJ going to Hufflepuff is if he's truly unremarkable as far as his smarts go and he doesn't really believe in fighting for tradition. But at that point, that might not be an ISTJ.


Before getting to the main even of INTJs, I want to take a quick look at INTPs, ENTJs, and ENFPs. listed INTPs as being Ravenclaw first and Slytherin second. The image I have disagrees on the secondary choice and chooses Gryffindor. I think we can all agree on the Ravenclaw part, but Slytherin versus Gryffindor requires some attention. places INTPs in Slytherin due to their adaptability as one of the qualities that Dumbledore mentions that Salazar Slytherin, the founder of the house, valued was resourcefulness. While this is possible, I think an INTP is more likely to use their Prospecting trait within their auxiliary function Ne, meaning they're more capable of flexible thinking than flexible doing. This is a perfect match for Ravenclaw, but not necessarily for Slytherin.

Now, I know an INTP--my sister--and she's a very opinionated and passionate person. When it comes to politics or something stupid happening in the world of social justice, she will rally and rant like you've never seen a person rally and rant. Like, she'll rant to me about it, and then she'll rant to my Old Man when he gets home from work. She definitely seems to have a very developed Ti and Si, making her a loner who believes in and argues logically for "tried and true." In public and social situations, she can get along with just about anyone, but in private, she's very much an individual. This is all fantastic for Ravenclaw, but when she gets in a fighting mood to defend the status quo, she could definitely be a Gryffindor. So, I again have to agree with the image.

Going onto ENTJs, TheThings says they're pure Ravenclaw with no chance at being anything else. The image however says ENTJs are Slytherins first and Ravenclaws second. While we can all agree that ENTJs could be Ravenclaws because they're so analytical, but when you factor in the fact that they're all entrepreneurs and dynamos on top of that, things get a little murky. I could see them being Slytherins due to their entrepreneurial ambitions, but I think ENTJs could also be Gryffindors. It takes a lot of bravery to start a business yourself, and it takes even more bravery to do it again and again when it fails which does happen. 66% of small businesses close within their first 10 years. To face such odds and go through with it anyway, and to try again after you fail, that's a combination of tenacity and balls. Personally, I'd feel more comfortable calling ENTJs Gryfferins or Slytherdors than anything else.

Now, onto ENFPs. Here, both the image and TheThings agree with each other. They both place ENFPs in Gryffindor first and then Hufflepuff second. TheThings writer argues that ENFPs belong in Gryffindor because they always seek to do the right thing. True, ENFPs do posses Fi which is associated with strong personal morals, but I have to say, so what? INTJs also have Fi, and although it's their tertiary function versus ENFPs for whom it is their auxiliary function, there's no such thing as an INTJ hypocrite--there just isn't. INTJs and ENFPs alike have a very strong sense of self. And if having a strong sense of morality is all it takes to get into Gryffindor, then shouldn't anyone with an Fi function be able to get into Gryffindor?

As for their Hufflepuff side, TheThings says that ENFPs would be a shoe-in here because they're so supportive and able to connect with people. While it's possible that Hufflepuffs have this strong sense of community, it's never really mentioned in HP. Another problem is that ENFPs are known to be on the fence about whether they're introverted or extraverted. Many ENFPs consider themselves introverted and they've even been called the most introverted of the extraverts. So, just because an ENFP can connect with people, that doesn't mean that people are connecting with an ENFP. I have heard that ENFPs can be very guarded about themselves and feel as if no one really knows or gets them. And as Dumbledore said, "It's not our abilities who make us who we are, but our choices." So if an ENFP doesn't choose to let people in, is she really connecting to people, and doesn't this hurt the case for Hufflepuff?

TheThings also says that ENFPs are imaginative and creative which somehow is attributed to both houses, but I don't understand how and the writer doesn't explain. To be honest, if a personality is Intuitive and possesses either Ni or Ne in their dominant or auxiliary functions, I think they should be considered for Ravenclaw. I think whoever wrote the article really overlooked the effect(s) of Intuition on wisdom and intelligence. So, where would I put ENFPs then? I think they probably belong in Hufflepuff, but I see no reason for them not to be able to get into Ravenclaw.


Finally! We get to the reason why I originally wanted to write this damn post. Anyway, TheThings says that INTJs are all-around Slytherins with no potential to be anything else. Um, excuse me, but what the f*ck did you just say!? At least the image gets it right and says they're Ravenclaws first and Slytherins second. But going back to TheThings, holy sh*t, is the writer's argument all over the damn place. This is where it really breaks down and I have to stop myself from smacking an idiot.

TheThings says that INTJs are "pure Slytherins" because while we do have original minds, we have an "innate understanding of what makes people tick" which I don't understand how that's an INTJ trait or a Slytherin trait. Is this person trying to say that both INTJs and Slytherins use or manipulate people? If not, and what the writer is actually saying is that INTJs have the ability to read people, then why isn't this seemingly very social quality not make us a perfect match for the sociable Hufflepuffs? I mean, hell, I know why an INTJ would never be a Hufflepuff, but the article writer doesn't seem to know what the hell they're talking about.

Going on, the writer accuses INTJs of not being analytical because they're not Ravenclaws (WHAT A BUNCH OF BULL SH*T!!!!!), but at least, according to the writer, we are "extremely adaptable" and can work around anything. This is true; INTJs can do anything. However, that's not the point. INTJs know this. We know we can do anything we set our minds to, but the problem is that we are selective about what we set our minds to because we have very personal and refined tastes. Yes, we are flexible, but only when we give a damn. The rest of the time, we do what we feel like.

Next, TheThings (man, I hate typing this stupid website's name) says that INTJs "want to be the best at whatever it is they're doing, especially if it's something they're passionate about." This is another point that requires some clarification. INTJs do want to be the best, like no one ever was. However, it's not a case of especially if it's something we're passionate about, it's a case of only if it's something we're passionate about. Sure, I did want to be the best bowler at my friend's birthday party a few weeks ago, but that feeling has subsided. I do however still want to be the best version of myself that I could be which includes being the best writer there ever was. Our desire to be the best at something we're not passionate about is generally a passing fancy, or only exists when we're engaged in that activity. If we never touch it again, we don't give a rat's ass.

Finally, TheThings says that we're some of the most loyal people you'll ever meet. This is true; no argument from me. However, how this is a Slytherin trait is beyond me because I was under the impression that loyalty was a Hufflepuff trait according to what the article writer said about ISTJs. Not to mention, loyalty was a big deal in HP, and in HP, all of the most important characters were Gryffindors, so what in the hell is this person talking about? I'm not saying that loyalty can't be a trait of other houses, but it should really only be a central trait of one or two.

So then, where would I place INTJs? Well, that should already be obvious. My first choice for INTJs is Ravenclaw with my second choice being Slytherin, but why? Well, I've taken the tests and quizzes online about which house I belong to at Hogwarts. I've even taking the one on Pottermore, and get this, depending on my attitude at the time, I can get either Ravenclaw or Slytherin. How does this happen? It comes down to one question: What do I value more: wisdom or ambition? On those days where I value wisdom, I get put into Ravenclaw, but on days I choose ambition, I'm put into Slytherin. I've even taken that test What Is Your Hybrid Hogwarts House and I got Slytherclaws, which I agree with wholeheartedly, even more so than Ravenclaw or Slytherin alone.

"Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings."
Salvador Dali

INTJs are wicked smart, intuitive, analytical, and sometimes when we speak, we sound like an old sage offering advice to young whipper-snappers who don't know their own asses from a seven dollar hat. But on the flip-side, we are ambitious, we don't have patience for people, we have a habit of trying to force our ways via pure willpower, and at our worst, we could be a Voldemort type villain--all the fixings are there.


Holy hell, this was longer than I expected. I apologize, but TheThings really got me riled up. It especially breaks my heart because the writer of the articles claims to be an ENFP. ENFPs and INTJs are kindred spirits, so we should be able to understand each other, so it breaks my heart that this ENFP doesn't understand INTJs. Although, I have heard that some people aren't totally honest with themselves when they take the MBTI test and varying tests yield varying results, so perhaps the article writer isn't a real ENFP. I hope to God he or she isn't. Especially if it's a she.

Anyway, my real conclusion is that INTJs have the potential for being both Ravenclaws and Slytherins. My personal feeling is that we pull closer to Ravenclaws, especially when you consider that we have a huge thing for eldritch knowledge, which you might think is a Slytherin trait, but we don't intend to use it to take over the world, so go, go Ravenclaw. As for the others, I don't really care if I'm wrong, but being an INTJ, I'm probably not.

For my next two posts, because it's spring and because I wrote a romance book, Tales of Romance: Unlike Lovers (buy it here!), I'm going to delve into the questions of whether or not INTJs believe in love and what they think about while and after making out. So, don't miss those. But first I have to get another post out on how to give the perfect hug because I've been sitting on that for a while. But regardless of what comes out first...

Keep writing, my friends.

More About Bryan C. Laesch:

Amazon: My Author Page
Facebook: Bryan C. Laesch, Bawdy Scholar
Patreon: Bryan C. Laesch
Twitter: BryanofallTrade
Youtube: Bryan C. Laesch, Bawdy Scholar

No comments:

Post a Comment

Can You Pigeonhole Yourself through MBTI?

So, here’s a question for all you MBTI nerds: do you fear that knowing your personality type will pigeonhole you into acting a certain...