Hey, everyone.
Today's day eleven of my writing challenge. Hopefully after I've been doing this for a month, I'll stop saying what it is. Anyway, I followed through on what I said and made three different wheels. Today's wheel is composed of fiction writing styles. And for the sake of my flash fictions, I'll try to keep them to flash fiction length so that each post is a story unto itself. So let's give it a try.
Wheel of Genres, turn, turn, turn! Tell me the genre I will discern!
Today's topic is... Comedy. Balls! There's nothing more difficult than trying to be funny on the spot. Sure, spontaneous humor and jokes do often arrive in our lives, but those jokes can happen because we're so involved in the moment. For this, I have to make up my own moment.
Alright, thirty minutes on the clock: 30:00. And... go!
"Well," said Fred, coming through the door. "That double date could not have been worse."
"What're you talking about?" asked Dan, following him in. "I think it went quite well."
"Easy for you to say; your girl looked like a girl."
"Yours looked like a girl. She had long hair."
"That was a mullet."
"She had some nice sized breasts."
"She was wearing a hydro bra!"
"How do you know that?" asked Dan, taking off his coat.
"Because she popped one coming back from the bathroom. She smashed it in the door or something. Didn't you notice that her chest looked a little deflated and lopsided?"
"I guess I was lost in her eyes."
"You were lost in your date's ass! I've never heard a man say 'ladies first' so much before in my life."
"I guess I'm just more of a gentleman than you."
"Says the guy who budgets his paycheck for a Friday night at Fappy's. Just imagine if your date knew what sort of a perverted creep you actually are."
"You know what they say, what you don't know can't hurt you."
Fred growled. He took off his coat and headed for his bedroom. He immediately went to bed and had frightful dreams of women's busts busting and showering him with water. Eventually, however he was shaken awake. "Ah! Who's there?"
"Fred?"
"Dan? What time is it?"
"It's about three."
"In the morning?!"
"Yeah."
"Go away!"
"But I can't sleep," said Dan, sitting on the bed next to Fred. "I can't stop thinking about Julie."
"Who?"
"My date tonight."
"Oh."
"I'm a little worried."
"About what?"
"Well, I was thinking about how the date went and I think..."
"...Yes?"
"I think..."
"Yes?!"
"I think..."
"For fuck sake! What do you think, man?!"
"I think I love her." Dan looked at Fred. "I think I found the one."
"Oh, for fuck sake! You can't be serious."
"I am serious. Her hair, her face, her body, that absolutely lethal booty! I'm in love."
"You're not in love. You're just horny. Take a cold shower or bop your baloney, and you'll be fine. Now, get the hell out!"
"But I can't stop thinking about her."
"I've already given you two perfectly good suggestions on how to cure that."
"I want to see her again! I need to see her again!" declared Dan, rushing from the room.
"Oh, great. We're doing this now?" Fred rose and grabbed his robe. He found Dan in the kitchen with his laptop open. "What're you doing, dude?"
"I need to write her a poem! An ode to her beauty! A memoriam to our love."
"I wish your infatuation would die."
Dan started typing. "Dearest Julia..."
"Julie," corrected Fred.
"Dearest Julie, my heart beats only for thee. I wonder if you'll ever love me. Your beauty is angelic--"
"And you've got a booty majestic."
"Think me not pathetic. For I am only a loving fool--"
"Who's become quite the tool."
"And when I look through the looking glass--"
"All I can see is dat ass!"
"Why can't you take my feelings seriously?" asked Dan.
"Because didn't we go through this same crap last week over some girl named Margaret. What was the rhyme you made about her? 'You daintily ate your ham cubes, and I couldn't stop staring at your boobs.'"
"Oh, Margaret! I had forgotten about her! She was gorgeous, too."
"How would you know? You never looked at her above the neck."
"Oh, Margaret! Oh, Julie! How I wish there was a Margulie."
"That's it. I'm done with this. I'm done with you. I'm going to bed," said Fred, turning away.
"But what will I do without your good counsel?"
"Find your way back to your village I hope. Good night!" said Fred, closing his door.
"Good night, dear Fred. If only you understood my sorrow."
Stop the clock. Okay, I have 2:16 left. Well, that went alright. It wasn't laugh out loud funny, but it had its moments. Half way through I did start to panic when I realized there wasn't any real conflict which meant there wouldn't have been any real ending. I mean, you could argue that there isn't one as nothing was really resolved in this except for the fact that Fred left Dan to his devices, but Fred is the protagonist in this story and Dan the antagonist. So, in a way, Fred did win. But I am surprised how much I wrote in 28 minutes. Maybe I should release a book with a bunch of flash fictions. No, I would burn through my character list to quick and I don't want to re-use old names for protagonists.
So, that's it for today. If you want to use the wheel I made, you should be able to access it here. And if you have the time, please check out my books for sale on Amazon which you can find through my author page. The link is below. See you tomorrow.
Keep writing, my friends.
More About Bryan C. Laesch:
Amazon: My Author Page, My Influencer Page
Facebook: Bryan C. Laesch, Bawdy Scholar
Patreon: Bryan C. Laesch
Twitter: BryanofallTrade
Youtube: Bryan C. Laesch, Bawdy Scholar
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