Hey, everyone, and Happy Thanksgiving.
Now, for today's writing exercise, I'm going to be doing something a bit different. Typically I spin the wheel and write as whatever genre I've been given, but since today is a non-fiction day, I'm actually going to do a reflection. On what? Well, my high school days, yet again. I really hope I don't sound like a broken record, but again, they do say your high school years are some of the most formative in your life and I do feel like something larger happened to me than the average high schooler, but there's a point beyond that. So, let's get started, and since I do tend to wax philosophic occasionally, I'll still be timing myself so I can stay on task.
So, today's topic is... Reflection "Lesson to Learn."
Thirty minutes on the clock: 30:00. And... go.
Now, like I said, some say your high school days are some of the most formative of your life, and I feel like mine were no exception. See, I attended Notre Dame High School in Harper Woods, and I loved it there. Sure, there were one or two people I had problems with, but for the most part, I relished my time at ND. I never used to like school until I went to ND. I wouldn't say it felt like home, but it did feel right and good in a way I can't explain.
Now, in March of my Sophomore year, right in the middle of our spirit week which we called Irish Week and celebrated during the week of St. Patrick's Day, a news story broke that wasn't supposed to yet where Cardinal Maida, the archbishop of Detroit at the time, would be closing 15 Catholic schools throughout the Archdiocese of Detroit due to money problems, and the schools that were closed included grade schools and high schools alike.
When my mother told me the news in the morning, I refused to believe it. But when I got to school that day, it was the only thing on everybody's lips. Nobody knew anything except for rumors, but at about 8:00 when our first class was supposed to start, Mr. Kuhn, one of our advisors, walked the halls and told everyone to gather in the gym. We were supposed to have some sort of spirit week activity in there, I don't remember what it was, but we were separated by class. Fr. Sadjak, who was principal the year before and my Latin teacher for the two years I was there, led us off in prayer where the emotions of the situation did overwhelm some of us. Course though, no one actually broke down because we were an all guys school. But the next few hours descended into a spirit week activity/bonding session as we all pledged to do what we could to prevent the school from closing. It was extremely heart-warming. Unfortunately, as can be guessed, we failed and were forced to disperse.
Angry at the world and wanting some form of retribution for what we lost, we took our anger out on others leading to a not-so-positive reputation at the school that most of us would go on to attend, Bishop Foley Catholic High School in Madison Heights. One teacher, upon finding out that a student she didn't know at the time was from ND was from ND, asked him, "Are you bitter, too?" Course when we all heard that, we wanted to slap the sh*t out of her. But, it was true; we were bitter. Some of us did assimilate into Foley, but most of us were loathed the experience. By Senior year, we had settled down, but Foley never met our expectations and was always worse than ND in practically every way. Attending Foley at the time felt like insult to injury. The world had curb stomped us, and then kicked us in the nuts while we lay in the gutter.
But as I look back, I can now see that things weren't that bad, and I do greatly regret my actions at the time. Foley welcomed us with open arms; some of the administration was pretentious as hell, but the student body and a good number of the teachers were fantastic and understanding. Looking at my year book, a number of people mentioning that they were glad I chose Foley after ND closed. What's funny about that is that I didn't choose Foley, my parents did. But as my Senior year was coming to a close, even then I began to regret who I was and what I had done. It was at that time that I could feel a change, and part of me didn't want to leave.
In the animated web series RWBY, a character loses the lower half of her arm in battle. A prosthetic arm is supplied to her, but she doesn't try it on. Everyone wants to see her return to "normal," but as she says, having lost her arm, that was her new "normal." At which point, her father says "Normal is what you make of it." He goes on to explain that just because something terrible has happened to you, that doesn't have to stop you from being who you want to become. It would've been great to have that piece of advice back then, but as a headstrong kid in my teens, all I wanted was revenge or to just surrender to life. I wanted Notre Dame back, and I would've done anything, no matter how impossible, to get it back. But, I never would, so I grieved.
Ten years after the fact, I am left with a pile of regret, but my reunion offers me a chance to set things right. That's one of the reasons why I'm going. Some people I do need to apologize to, and others I just have to show them that I'm not just a hardass and that I would take something valuable away from my experience there. But there's something else.
As you can tell, losing ND and going to Foley has had a great effect on me. I can't shut up about it and I can't stop thinking about it. I can't rest on it. Why? Is it just because I'm an INTJ and we think everything to death? Possibly. But, I have a feeling that the experience was meant to teach my something. I was supposed to learn something or do something, and I didn't and that bothers me. The whole experience was far too significant to just have been a random occurrence. What is it that I'm missing? I don't know, but I feel like I'll have a chance to accomplish whatever my task is at the reunion. Sure, I do get the feeling that it would've been easier ten years ago, but I think there's still a chance. That's another reason why I'm going.
Some of the people from Foley have been on my mind lately; one of them has been up there for longer than I care to admit. The psychics say there could be a connection between me and them, or that something important happened to them in their lives, but regardless, I want to know. I want to be enlightened. What is it about them that I can't forget them, that makes me miss them when I barely knew them, and that makes me want to see them so badly? I have a task to complete. I just have to make sure I don't fall back into my old habits when I get there and start acting the wallflower.
***
Alright. Can't say stop the clock as I did go over time. Not a lot though, maybe just a minute.
Anyway, I've got stuff to do during this holiday. Wish me luck at my reunion and pray that I find the answers I'm looking for or that I can finally find peace on this matter.
Keep writing, my friends.
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