Hey, everyone.
So, I know I said I was going to allow to the INTJ posts to suffer a little, but I still need to put something out on the INTJ front and I haven't done much with the blog in the past few days due to the holiday, so something is due despite my job search and the other thing I should be writing for RWBY. Anyway...
So, I was going to do another response post, but I got distracted by Pinterest and I found another article that got me really fired up from Thought Catalog called "22 People Share The One Thing They Wish The INTJs In Their Lives Understood." So I've decided to respond to this one instead.
1. “You’re a brilliant group of people. But sometimes things don’t need to serve a purpose to have a place in your life. Try to enjoy some things just because.” –ENFJ
This is a paradox because enjoying something just because is a reason despite not appearing to be a reason. Doing something or enjoying something for the sake of something is still something. And generally, whenever someone enjoys something for the sake of it, it's because they enjoy it to some extent meaning it's either fun or a diversion, which again, is a reason and not an un-reason. So, eat us.
2. “Emotions aren’t as scary as they sound. I promise. Stop being an android.” –ESFP
Sounds to me like this ESFP doesn't understand INTJs in the least. We do have emotions, but for several good reasons, we keep them hidden. And, being called an "android" offends me. So, eat me.
3. “Don’t be condescending to others, I know it is easy to write everyone off as idiots, but sometimes others have valuable points of views as well.” –INTJ
This is decent advice, but if you act like an idiot, expect to be treated like one.
4. “I get that feelings are weird for you to express, but you have to give me SOMETHING to work with here. I’m trying to get to know you!” –ENFP
Look harder. Emotion can be found within bland statements of fact. Both beliefs and ideals can be found in statements that don't possess any emotion, but looking beyond the surface can bewray emotion. And that is a way of getting to know someone. Sounds to me like you're not the most perspective or introspective person.
5. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. Everyone makes mistakes, even you. Also, don’t be so hard on others. Everyone makes mistakes, even you.” –INFP
Sure, everyone makes mistakes, but that doesn't make them acceptable. Mistakes cost time, money, efficiency, understanding. They should be avoided and eradicated at all costs.
6. “Just because I’m an extrovert doesn’t mean you can’t hurt my feelings!” –ENFJ
I don't know what sort of knob did that to you, but on the behalf of all INTJs, I'm sorry. Though, it's not likely an INTJ hurt your feelings because you're an Extravert, it's more likely to be because you presented yourself as a people person or one of those types who are always happy or wastefully cheerful. If you want to be treated like a human, act like a human. Humans are not one-dimensional.
7. “Your mind is incredible. Please share your thoughts with the world. Your mouth is quiet but your mind is loud with ideas and theories and ambitions. Don’t hide these from a world that so desperately needs them. And, please take it easy on us Feeling types. We need people like you to keep us together.” –ENFP
Well, I appreciate the first half, but if people aren't going to stop and ask for our advice, we're not going to share, and we're not going to be able to if you don't shut up long enough for us to jump into the conversation. As for keeping you together, we only have so much patience. Sure, we breakdown and lose it too, but if you're an absolute mess when you fall apart, we're not going to deal with it. Especially if it happens often or in cycles. We've got better things to do. Clean up after yourself.
8. “Don’t be so cynical. Try to access that introverted feeling function.” –INTJ
I don't have a response for this.
9. “You’re smart and I like that. But we’re never going to get along if you insist on behaving like a know-it-all. Please show some respect to the rest of us.” –ISFJ
While not even other INTJs will put up with INTJ know-it-alls, keep in mind that respect is earned, not given. You want to be respected, do something that is worthy of respect. On the other hand, if you're being perfectly reasonable and someone still isn't respecting you, walk away. You don't need to waste your time with that person.
10. “Warmth does not equal insincerity. If you take time and get to know us better, you will be surprised at how similar we actually are.” –ENFJ
True, but unless you're in a relationship with us or close to us, you're not going to get sincere warmth. You get one or the other, not both, especially in a professional setting. And unless we see the value in getting to know you better, we're not interested regardless of similarities.
11. “It’s ok to feel hurt. You don’t have to disguise your hurt with anger or by pretending you don’t care.” –ENFP
It's not okay. It's messy and time-consuming. It distracts from the business at hand. It's inefficient. As one who has suffered greatly from a sort of hurt recently, I can tell you that I would do and give anything to be over it. I hate it. I want it gone!
12. “People who are more vulnerable and candid are more likable; be more authentic, and you might get more accomplished.” –ENTJ
Well, I have heard this elsewhere, so it's probably true. And believe me, by keeping this blog, I have allowed a truly unique opportunity for others to see into the mind of an INTJ. This is a type of vulnerability and candidness that you cannot buy from INTJs. However, don't expect this intimate of a perspective out in the world. INTJs are better at expressing themselves through writing than through speech, and one of the reasons for that is because I'm not talking directly to someone. It's much more difficult to say these sort of things to someone's face than through a screen.
Also, INTJs will carve their own path their own way. We will force our way. Our wills are indomitable.
13. “Man I love you for your raw passion. Few people do intensity so well. But sometimes you hide behind these webs of rationalization, and you spin yourself so deep I can’t figure out where we started or where we’re going. Slow down. Feel the world, but don’t let its chaos overwhelm you. Drink water. Stretch. Take a walk. Cry. It’ll be okay.” –INFJ
First, you praise the strength of our intensity, and then you tell us to lighten up. F*ck you. Also, if you can't keep up, that's your issue, not ours. If we like you, we'll happily explain it again, but after a while, if you still don't get it, just go with it or, if you can't stomach that, walk away. We don't expect anything from you that we don't expect from ourselves.
14. “Don’t be so quick to assume that you are always the smartest person in the room. Being harshly critical of others is not always a socially intelligent move. And social intelligence gets you places.” –ENFP
I personally don't always assume myself to be the smartest person in the room. I mean, I do feel special in some way that is far and away very different from everyone else in the room, but I'm not usually thinking about other people's intelligences unless they've just said something smart or stupid. But, social intelligence, like I told the ENTJ, we'll carve our own path our own way.
15. “Lay back a little, not all of your time needs to be productive, some of the best moments happen when you are chilling and realize something.” –ENTP
Dude, we play video games and read. What more do you want?
16. “There is more to life than straight lines and lists. Some problems don’t have three-step solutions. And I know you know that, but please try to let it resonate in your heart, not just your cranium, as impressive as it may be. You’re more than your brains. Don’t be afraid to break rules, or at least bend them. Please.” –ISTP
The thing about this critique is that it inherently pisses me off because it feels like a direct criticism, as if we can't solve everything with our approach, even though, in theory we should always be able to. But on the other hand, I know all too well what ISTP getting at.
I don't always follow my rational mind when it comes to making to decisions. You know that "sort of hurt" I mentioned earlier? Part of its origin is that I was acting logical when I didn't want to act logical, and it made me feel trapped. And while there are a lot of big things you should never do an INTJ, taking away our freedom is one of the biggest and most important.
So, when we take away our own freedom, you can't imagine a deeper well and stronger form of self-loathing. My whole life, I've never related to the character George Bailey from It's A Wonderful Life, in fact, I don't even like the movie that much, but this Christmas, it hit me right in the feels. I was brought to f*cking tears. I know all too well the desire for escape no matter what the cost. Even at the destruction of my own life and the betrayal of everyone and everything I care about.
17. “Being perfect is an impossible dream.” -ISFJ
Hold my beer, and watch this.
On a more reasonable note though, there's a saying I like, "Aim for the moon, because even if you miss, you'll land among the stars." So, don't get in the way of my pursuit for perfection. Regardless of where I end up at the end of it all, it'll be somewhere far greater than if I had never tried.
18. “Sometimes you need to decide if you want to be right or if you want to be happy.” –ISTJ
No, I don't. I can't. I cannot be happy and wrong at the same time because that means something is fundamentally flawed, and therefore wrong with my thinking or my existence and that cannot be allowed to stand. Happiness, and therefore peace, can only exist when everything is properly in order and aligned. Ergo, being right and being happy are the same thing.
19. “It’s ok to not enjoy raucous parties and social gatherings. It’s ok to only be able to bond one on one. It’s ok to have high standards of friendship and value those few close friends intensely. Don’t be bothered by those who may fail to understand and appreciate you.” –INTJ
I don't know why an INTJ would say this to another INTJ. Now, if an INTJ didn't know he was INTJ, this advice would do him a lot of good, but once you know you're an INTJ, none of these things bother you any longer because of the revelation of being an INTJ comes with all this insight.
20. “Do not be quick to write someone off if they appear unintelligent. You may miss opportunities to learn things from unexpected sources. Be willing to change your mind about people instead of sticking to your first impression.” –ENTP
21. “Your friends need your insight; it’s a precious gift meant to be shared. Let it out a little more often.” –INFJ
Like I told ENFP above (#7), if you don't ask for it or don't give me the opportunity to share it, you're not going to get it. If you need help, ask for it; if you think someone has something to say that's worth hearing, shut the f*ck up and listen.
22. “Not everything in life is factual.” –INFJ
That is factually untrue. Everything can be broken down into facts. Anger is anger, and sadness is sad. Those are facts despite being emotions.
What you mean to say is that not everything is rational, or at the least, factually rational. Again, going back to my freedom problem, it is rationally irresponsible for me to turn down a job that is such a sure thing especially when I don't have something more reliable lined up, but when I factor in several things about the job I vehemently don't like and I see that job itself as a huge loss of freedom and detriment to my existence in general, then I am compelled to ignore rationality and heed my intuition to flee it.
So, that was it. It was a rather interesting experience. The first time I read many of these, I was offended because they felt like personal attacks. It felt like they were telling INTJs to stop being INTJs, and if INTJs stopped being INTJs, we would not be INTJs, and that cannot be. There is no personality better than our own.
But, having worked on this for the past hour and a half, I see some of them in a much softer light. Some of them are just pleas for INTJs not to be so rough. Unfortunately, unless you're really close to us, that's not likely to change. But there are still some that just straight up piss me off (#'s 2, 4, 13, 15, 17, 18, and 22). These people either don't know what an INTJ is, don't understand what an INTJ is, or they're immature themselves.
But, that's it for now. I hope to have a post out sometime soon about how knowing I'm an INTJ has changed me life for the better as well as a post about why INTJs should be religious. But, I'd like to the former out first because I think it would go well with New Year's. And because I haven't said it to this audience yet, Merry Christmas. And no, it's not late. Ever heard of the twelve days of Christmas? Yeah, exactly.
Keep writing, my friends.
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