Weird Moments with INTJ #1: Dry Skin Brushes

Hey, everyone.

So, I'm continuing the memes here and this series is called Weird Moments with INTJ. We INTJs can be a bit--just a tiny, little bit--weird or off-beat. So once in a while, strange things happen between us and other people. Or, we pull something truly unexpected out like in this case.

Explanation

I cut my intro short because I was getting ahead of myself. Yes, INTJs do a lot of unexpected things. Most people tend to see us as the mad scientist committing heinous crimes against nature in our free time and when out in public, we tend to look out of place like we just appeared in public by some mystic means. We're surprised, you're surprised, and everyone feels awkward. Well, almost. I chose a long time ago not to let awkward situations get to me. Anyway...

Because people have such a firm idea of who or what INTJs are, specifically our propensity for math and science, our other traits, such as Ni, Fi, and Se, tend to escape them. People forget how idealistic we are or how sensitive we can be. And while people may know that we keep high expectations for ourselves, they forget to extrapolate that concept further which has led to a lesser known but very important characteristic of ours which is that we are constantly improving ourselves. And I don't just mean our smarts.

Believe it or not, INTJs work out. We may not hit the gym, but we do exercise. We do diet. And if, as we look at ourselves in the mirror, we're unsatisfied with the condition of our skin, we look for ways to improve it. I tell you, honestly, I had one bad ass battle with acne in my teenage years. My face was bad, but my back got it the worst. And although I won, it was a war of attrition--I've got some bad scarring. But because I want to look sexy AF in a bathing suit, not only do I have to drop a bunch of weight and lift a bunch of weight, I have to take a stiff-bristled brush to my skin and try to undo four to six years of brutal warfare and a decade of scarring on top of that.

I'm sure this is a strange revelation for a lot of you--an INTJ who is so vain that he's actually going to painful extremes to make himself pretty? Yes, it is true. Look, I don't know if I'll ever get married, but if I do, I want to look like an Olympian (and make love like one) when I walk into the bridal suite on my wedding night. I want to be every woman's wet dream. When I take off my shirt, I want every pair of panties in the vicinity to descend of their own volition.

(Fun Fact: I hate saying/using the word "panties" because it always makes me feel like a pervert, but for the sake of this joke, I'll stomach it.)

As for how INTJs could be like this, you know, vain, it's quite simple. Our Se notices the women we want and what they want, our Fi tells us that if we want a hot girl with a nice bod that it is only fair that we have a nice bod ourselves, and then our Te makes sure we never forget this standard and work for it. I'm not really sure if Ni is involved in the process; if it is, it's in an administrative position allowing all this to happen. Or, it allows for the possibility of the belief that in order to be truly beautiful, we must lift and exfoliate, and when we get the woman of our dreams, physicality and mentality, everything will be gravy from there on out.

*****

 

Well, you guys, that was my first Weird Moments with INTJ. The second one is similar, but I should be able to put a slightly different spin on it. If you enjoyed this post, please consider joining my mailing list or supporting me on Patreon. $1 a month goes a long way toward keeping me from doing real work. And until next time...

 

Keep writing, my friends.

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