Thursday, May 17, 2018

A RWBY Christmas Carol: Stave V

A RWBY Christmas Carol is not endorsed by Rooster Teeth in any way. Views, opinions, and thoughts are all my own. Rooster Teeth and RWBY are trade names or registered trademarks of Rooster Teeth Productions, LLC. © Rooster Teeth Productions, LLC.

 
 
Ozpin fell backward through the portal and landed on something soft. He was surprised at first, but as he looked around, he realized where he was. “They are not torn down,” he cried, folding one of his bed curtains in his arms. “They are not torn down, rings and all. They are here.” For indeed, the bed was his own and the room was his own.
“And I’m here,” he said. But the best and happiest of all thoughts was that the time before him to make amends was his own. “The shadows of the things that would have been may be dispelled. They will be! I know they will.”
“I will live in the past, the present, and the future,” Ozpin said as he scrambled out of bed. “The spirits of all three shall strive within me. Oh, Jacob Ironwood. Heaven and Christmas be praised for this. I say it on my knees, old Ironwood, on my knees!”
He was so fluttered and so glowing with his good intentions that his broken voice would scarcely answer his call.
Ozpin stood and staggered about his room. “I don't know what to do,” he said, laughing and crying in the same breath. “I am as light as a feather, I am as happy as an angel, I am as merry as a schoolboy. I am as giddy as a drunken man. A Merry Christmas to everybody, and a Happy New Year to all of Remnant!”
He frisked into the sitting room, and went all around it, observing the objects and remembering the events from the night before. “There's the pot that the hot chocolate was in. And there's the door by which the ghost of Jacob Ironwood entered. There's the corner where the Ghost of Christmas Present sat. And there's the window where I saw the wandering spirits. It's all right, it's all true, it all happened.” Ozpin laughed, and for a man who had been out of practice for so many years, it was a splendid laugh.
“I don't know what day of the month it is. I don't know how long I've been among the spirits. I don't know anything. I'm quite a baby. I don't care. I'd rather be a baby.”
Running to the window, he opened it, and put out his head. There was no fog or mist. It was simply a clear, bright, and cold day. The sunlight was golden, the sky heavenly, the fresh air sweet, and from the nearby church, he heard the glorious ringing of bells.
Ozpin looked down into the street. “Hallo!” he cried at a girl building a snowman. “Hallo!”
The girl looked up. Ozpin thought she was rather cute with her short, orange curly hair, her pink bow, and freckled face, but her lime green eyes didn’t seem wholly organic.
“Hallo, my fine girl!” cried Ozpin.
“Sal-u-tations!” returned the girl.
“What's today?”
“Huh?” returned the girl with all her wonder.
“What's today, my fine lady?”
“Today? Why, it’s Christmas Day, of course!”
“It's Christmas Day,” said Ozpin. “I haven't missed it. The spirits have done it all in one night. They can do anything they like. Of course, they can. Of course, they can.”
“I don’t know who the spirits are,” said the girl, “but of course they can,” she said with a nod.
“Tell me, girl: do you know poulterer's in the next street but one?”
“I should hope I did.”
“A remarkable lass. An intelligent lass. Do you know whether they've sold the prize turkey? Not the little one, but the big one.”
“What? The one as big as me?”
“What a delightful girl,” said Ozpin. “Such a pleasure to talk to. Yes, my dear.”
“It’s still there.”
“Is it? Go and buy it.”
The girl recoiled. “Walk-er!” she said, waving her hand dismissively at him.
“No, no,” said Ozpin. “I am in earnest. Go and buy it, and tell them to bring it here. Come back with the poulterer, and I'll give you ten lien. Come back with him in less than five minutes and I'll give you fifty!”
The girl’s eyes lit up and a strange metallic object shot out from her back before extending and then multiplying into several copies. Tiny holes opened at the end of each one and green energy shot from them, propelling the girl off like a shot.
“I'll send it to Taiyang Cratchit's,” said Ozpin, rubbing his hands. “He shan't know who sent it. It's twice the size of Tiny Ruby.”
The hand in which he wrote the address was not a steady one, but write it he did, and went downstairs to wait for the poulterer's man. As he stood there, waiting his arrival, the knocker caught his eye.
“I shall love it as long as I live,” said Ozpin, patting it with his hand. “I scarcely ever looked at it before. What an honest expression it has in its face. It's a wonderful knocker. Ah! Here's the turkey.”
It was quite a turkey. It never could have stood upon its legs. They would have snapped off as soon as it tried.
“Now, I want you to take this turkey to Patch.”
“Patch!?” said the poulterer’s man.
Ozpin realized his mistake. “Why, it'd be impossible for you to carry that to Patch. You must take an airship,” he said, slapping more lien into the man’s hand. “And this is for you, my fine lady,” he said, chuckling, as he paid the girl double what he originally promised her.
Ozpin went back inside and dressed himself in his best, which was an old emerald suit he hadn’t had the pleasure of wearing for a while. He then went down to the streets which were now well crowded with people like he had seen when he went out with the Ghost of Christmas Present. He regarded every person with a delighted smile. Those who knew him regarded him with a wonder so strange, they couldn’t believe to see the change in him. He was so pleasant and blithe that when he happened upon the monkey-tailed and cat-eared Faunus carolers from the night before, he wished them a stout Merry Christmas.
“It’s that old, crusty miser from yesterday!” said the monkey-tailed one.
“Good morning, my boy!” replied Ozpin.
“He’s lost his mind…”
The cat-eared girl was stunned into silence.
“Merry Christmas to you both!” he said, showering them with lien.
“Whoa!” said the boy.
“Th-thank you, sir!” said the girl.
“Think nothing of it! Just making up for my crass mistake.”
“Merry Christmas,” said the girl with a smile.
“Yeah, thanks,” said the boy, counting the lien.
Ozpin nodded and continued on his way but he didn’t go far before running into two others from the day before.
“Ah! Mr. and Mrs. Belladonna. How are you this morning? I hope you succeeded in your mission yesterday.”
“Mr. Ozpin?” said Ghira, bewildered.
“Yes, that is my name, but I fear it may not be pleasant to you. Allow me to ask your pardon. And will you have the goodness to accept…” Ozpin leaned forward and whispered to Ghira and Kali.
“Mr. Ozpin?!” said Kali.
“Gods bless me,” cried Ghira, as if his breath were taken away.
“Mr. Scrooge, are you serious?”
“If you please,” said Ozpin. “And not a lien less. A great many back payments are included in it, I assure you.”
“My dear sir,” said Ghira. “I don't know what to say to such munificence.”
“Don't say anything please,” replied Ozpin. “Just come and see me tomorrow, and we’ll make the arrangements.”
“We will,” cried Kali.
“Thank you. I am much obliged to you. Thank you fifty times. Bless you both!”
Ozpin continued on his merry way through the streets. He watched the people hurrying to and fro, he patted children on the head, questioned beggars, looked down into the kitchens of houses, and found that everything could yield him pleasure. He had never dreamed that any walk, or anything else for that matter, could give him so much happiness. And then finally, in the afternoon he turned his steps toward his nephew's house.
He passed the door a dozen times before he had the courage to go up and knock.
“Is your master at home, my dear?” said Ozpin to the servant girl.
“Yes, sir.”
“Where is he, my love?”
“He's in the dining room, sir, along with mistress. I'll announce you.”
“Thank you, no. That’s not necessary. He knows me,” said Ozpin with his hand already on the dining room knob. He turned it gently, and sidled his face in. Qrow, Winter, and their guests were looking at the table which was spread out in great array for the young housekeepers had gone to great lengths to make sure everything was perfect.
“Qrow,” said Ozpin.
“Bless my soul,” cried Qrow. “Uncle Ozpin?”
“Yes, it is I. I have come to dinner. Will you allow me to dine with you, Qrow?”
Let him in? It is a mercy Qrow didn't shake his arm off. Ozpin was quite at home in five minutes. Nothing could have been heartier. It was a wonderful party, with wonderful games, wonderful unanimity, and wonderful, wonderful happiness.
But Ozpin was early at the office the next morning. He wanted to be there first and catch Taiyang coming in late. That was something he had set his heart upon.
The clock struck nine and there was no Taiyang. A quarter past and there was still no Taiyang. He was a full eighteen minutes and a half behind his time when he did arrive. His hat was off before he entered. He was on his stool in a jiffy, and driving away with his pen as if he were trying to overtake nine o'clock.
“Taiyang Cratchit!” growled Ozpin in his accustomed voice as near as he could feign it. “What do you mean by coming here at this time of day?”
“I am very sorry, sir,” said Tai. “I am behind my time.”
“Indeed, you are. Step this way, sir, if you please.”
“It's only once a year, sir,” pleaded Tai, appearing in his office. “It shall not be repeated. I was making rather merry yesterday, sir.”
“Indeed. But, I'll tell you what, my friend,” growled Ozpin. “I am not going to stand for this sort of thing any longer. And therefore,” he continued, standing and looking as menacing as he could. Tai flinched.  “I am going to raise your salary!”
Tai blinked disbelievingly. “Sir?”
Ozpin laughed. “A Merry Christmas, Tai!” he said with an earnestness that could not be mistaken as he clapped Tai on the back. “A merrier Christmas, Tai, my good fellow, than I have given you for many a year. Yes, sir. I'll start by doubling your salary—”
“Double?!”
“And endeavor to assist your struggling family in any way I can! We’ll get Tiny Ruby to the right doctors and we’ll even fix up Yang’s bike and get her a better position closer to home!”
“How do you know about Tiny Ruby’s condition? And Yang’s bike?! How do you know their names?!”
 “And we will discuss all your affairs this very afternoon over a Christmas bowl of smoking bishop, Tai.”
“That’s extraordinary, sir. But that doesn’t answer my question.”
“Never mind that! Make up the fires, man, and buy another coal scuttle before you dot another i, Tai!”
Ozpin was better than his word. He did it all and infinitely more. And Tiny Ruby, who did not die, he was a second father. He became as good a friend, as good a master, and as good a man as the good old city knew.
Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, but he let them laugh for he was wise enough to know that nothing ever happened for the sake of good at which some people did not have their fill of laughter in the outset.
He had no further intercourse with spirits, but lived upon the Total Abstinence Principle ever afterwards. And it was always said that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge.
May that be truly said of all of us. And so, as Tiny Ruby observed, gods bless us, every one.
 

***
 


Keep writing, my friends.

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