Quick and Dirty INTJ Thoughs #3: Others' Emotions

Hey, everyone.

I'm back with another Quick and Dirty INTJ Thought. This one is all about others' feelings. Yuck!

Explanation

It is often said that INTJs can't read or predict people's emotions. This is pure crap. Of course, we can. It's not rocket surgery or brain science. It doesn't take a genius to know that no one likes being called "fat," even said person is severely obese, it's not that hard to work out that a woman doesn't like having her outfit criticized if she went to great lengths to dress herself up, and it's not that difficult to assume that an artist would be angry if you told him you could crap a better painting.

I'm not sure where the stereotype originates that INTJs can't read of predict people's emotions. I figure it mostly comes from our passive faces after laying down the factual truth about what's wrong with a person. In society, it's rude to point out a person's flaws, regardless of how honest or factual those points are. And since most people are bothered by confrontation, or even flustered glares and crying, they stray away from laying down the truth.

But here's the thing though, once in a while I find an image on Pinterest that says, "Don't tell anyone your problems. 80% don't care, and the rest are happy you have them." INTJs take notice of that 80%--we see them quite clearly. Hell, we ask ourselves if anyone actually cares how we are when they ask us.

(Side note: It would make for an interesting social experiment to just make up some crap the next time I get asked and see if I can't discern the difference between faked or real compassion. Like, if I told my bank teller that I was having a bad time of it because I haven't been laid recently, would she care enough to volunteer her own body or a friend's to make up for my bad time? Probably not, but I'd love to see her reaction.)

Getting back to the point, it seems to me, an INTJ, that if people did care about your problems, they would try to fix them in some way, according to their own power and ability. As for the schadenfreude people, I'm not sure if they're actually happy that we have that problem or if they're just relieved it isn't them with that problem, either way, it's not good.

So, you know, INTJs see all this crap and think this crap, and we don't bother putting in the work just to seem polite. If we do, it's mostly because it makes our lives easier or less inconvenienced. But for the most part, to us it's all about honesty. We'd prefer honest apathy to false compassion, just like how a salesman prefers an honest "no" to a lying "maybe." We've both got business to conduct, and we don't want to waste our time with people who don't care about our business.

But INTJs can totally read and predict people's emotions. We just think you're better off telling someone who actually gives a damn because God knows we don't.

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For next week, it's hope that I'll cover the seven reasons why it's rewarding to being friends with an INTJ, but we'll see. But until then...

Keep writing, my friends.

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