The Top 7 Gift Ideas for INTJs: A Response to Psychology Junkie

Hey, everyone.

So, my birthday is Thursday, the 22nd. I'll be 29. I'm not telling you because I'm digging for birthday wishes, after all, why should you give a sh*t? (That's how I often feel about other people's birthdays.) I'm telling you because it coincides nicely with this week's INTJ post: the Top 7 Gift Ideas for INTJs. Originally, this was an article by Psychology Junkie, so as you can guess, this is another response post.

But, the original article by PJ is interesting. They didn't spout off a bunch of crap that they assumed they knew because they think they know what an INTJ is. They actually did research by asking INTJs what they thought about gifts, gift-getting, and gift-giving. The general consensus is that INTJs hate receiving gifts and prefer to give them. INTJs also don't make "Wish Lists" preferring to give into indulgence and just buy whatever they have a hankering for when they get said hankering. I guess this is another way I buck the INTJ stereotype because I love getting gifts and hate giving them. Sure, if I like the person, it's not a big deal and I hope they're pleased with what I give them, but I much prefer getting a gift than giving one. I'm unfortunately extremely materialistic, and I can always come up with a list of things I don't have and want when someone asks, but that just might be because I'm broke as f*ck.

Anyway, they also asked around 100 INTJs what sort of gifts they like, so this list is researched, however I would like to make a few tweaks and give each item a rating out of five in terms of how good I think it actually is. And before we get into this, here's my obligatory Patreon plug. Want to decide what I should write about or just believe in me? Show me the love on Patreon. Every single dollar keeps me from a mundane job. Alright, let's take a look at these.

1. Cash

There's a reason why they say "cash is king." It's mostly because credit doesn't actually exist, and checks have to be cashed or can bounce. But because cash is accepted everywhere in exchange for everything, it's the most practical gift you can give an INTJ. With cash, we can buy something we want or may need, and because cash can be used on anything, it's flexible and surrenders to the mad whims of whomever wields it! Ha ha! I can desire one thing when making my birthday or Christmas list a month before said day, but desire something completely different the day of. (It's actually happened before.) Hence, with cash an INTJ can always get what he really wants.

Rating: 5 out of 5 for flexibility.

2. Gift Cards

Ah, gift cards. They're a lot like cash in that they're extremely flexible, except they're only accepted at the store where you bought them. There might be prepaid credit cards now, but I don't think everyone accepts those. (Although, more and more places are accepting them everyday.) But I really shouldn't undermine the usefulness of gift cards just because they're slightly less flexible than cash. An INTJ might want Video Game A when he makes his list, but come the big day, he might want Video Game B instead. And having a Gamestop gift card, an INTJ can make that switch and no one be the wiser. And in terms of an iTunes gift card, instead of getting a CD which may only have 5 tracks out of 16 an INTJ likes, with the gift card, he can make sure he only gets the best of the best regardless of how many artists he buys from. So, gift cards, still pretty valid.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 for being only slightly less flexible than cash.

3. Technological Gadgets

Hmm, technological gadgets. If you've been a reader of my blog for a while, you'll know that I buck the INTJ stereotype here as I don't give two sh*ts about gadgets. I mean, I have a PS4, a Nintendo Wii U, a laptop, a smartphone, and I've had many previous iPods, but the problem with those is that I don't consider them to be "gadgets." A "gadget" to me is something small and high-tech, but you really don't need it. With the way the modern world is, I need a laptop and smartphone, whereas gaming systems, I don't consider them gadgets because of the hours and hours of entertainment they provide, like a DVD player and TV. And you need to have fun.

Under my definition, the only thing that I can really call a gadget is my iPod. Unfortunately, I've been without a working iPod since about late spring, so I don't really "have" one. And I can't really think of anything else that I have that is gadget-y. I have a wireless mouse, but good luck finding a mouse these days with a wire, and I do have a calorie counter, but I need one for when I workout. And, I would also say a gadget is something that was made high-tech for the sake of being high-tech--it's an exercise in technological masturbation. Now, my PS4 might have gadget-y things about it like being able to connect to YouTube and Netflix, but it's a gaming console first.

Gadgets can be cool and unique, but unless they have some other day-to-day function, the novelty of a gadget wears off pretty damn fast. So, unless it's a watch that can tell me the time in every other time zone or a pen that writes with a laser, I would never suggest getting anyone a gadget. Unfortunately, gadgets made PJ's list at number 3, which means I must be in the minority of INTJs who feel this way.

Rating: 3 out of 5 because other INTJs like them.

4. Hand-Made Gifts

Now, this seems like a weird one. INTJs are cold and brainy. Why the hell would they be into hand-made stuff? Well, INTJs are kind of huge softies on the inside. (Shh! Don't tell them I told you that.) So, when someone puts a bunch of effort into something that's specifically made for us, we're extremely touched, especially because we're usually under the impression no one likes us and we assume we aren't on anybody's radar as we try to stay in the shadows as much as possible. To give someone something hand-made, it means you were thinking about them even when they're not around and you really like that person... even when they're such a pain in the ass.

However, before you rush off to Michaels to get some crafty crap and start making us something, I should tell you that we have restrictions on hand-made gifts. Like, we don't want your home-made macaroni art. We are not your mother. If you're going to give us something hand-made, practical stuff is best, like a scarf, a sweater, pair of gloves, or a blanket. My godmother once made me a quilt which I quite like. I told her I still had it, but I wished it was longer. She went and made me another one just 'cause.

Old quilt on top of the new, longer one.

Although, art pieces aren't necessarily completely off-limits. Just make sure they're good quality and have had some effort put into them, and it's something we want. My sister once gave me a chalk drawing of the Guardian Force Bahamut from Final Fantasy VIII. It's pretty cool. Unfortunately, I can't find it right now. But it's something arsty-fartsy that I wanted, and not a fusilli Bryan.

And what about hand-made gifts that you didn't make yourself but instead just bought, like a whip or a PVC bow? Well, those are still pretty cool. Not as cool as if you had done it yourself, but you still went through the trouble to buy something that takes a while to do, so it's still appreciated. (Just not as much if you had done it yourself.)

Rating: 4 (or higher) out of 5 for being so damn touching.

5. A Book About Their Interest

Ah, books. I love'em. Love'em! From where I'm sitting, I can see more than a dozen right in front of me. If I spin my chair around, I'll see a bookshelf and a half of books. And if I further spin my chair, I can see a storage unit under my bed full of books that I didn't want taking up room on my bookshelves. Yes, INTJs like books. There's no finer form of entertainment or knowledge gathering.

I know, that's a pretty big claim to make, but books are so rich with words and details that make a thousand different nuances and spins, and in terms of knowledge, they're just so damn practical. You've got an index and you can flip between pages quite easily. PDF files might have a "Search" option, but you can't always take a computer with you and not everyone owns a tablet, plus they're not much good in raw sunlight and they automatically dim if they're not constantly in use. Which means, if you're practicing HEMA and you're teaching yourself  guards, a tablet and computer fail where a propped up book excels. And books are just classy. So, books are practical, and both mentally and aesthetically pleasing. What fun. Not to mention, an INTJ's interest can also be in fiction or poetry, so prose isn't off the table either.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 for being practical, entertaining, classy, and beating the hell out of technology most days.

6. Wine and Chocolate

Wine and chocolate? What's that? A young adult supernatural romance where the girl's the monster? Wait, no. That's Blood and Chocolate. Silly me. (But seriously, the movie was better.)

Anyway, I start this one off with a jest because it threw me for a loop. All the others make some sort of sense, but wine and chocolate seems to come out of left field. PJ explained this one as such:

"Feed your INTJs inferior Extraverted Sensing (Se) with a delicious gift of the food variety! Many INTJs said they enjoy getting wine, beer, or homemade whiskey as a gift. Others loved teas, coffees, and chocolates."

Oh, boy. Inferior Extraverted Sensing. I've said it before and I'll say it again: all that cognitive function crapola is... crapola. It never ceases to confuse the hell out of me. It all just feels more complicated than it needs to be. However, I have started to look into it in case it offers up any interesting insights. And here's one: Se is our last cognitive function, so how high up on the list of things we want can wine and chocolate be? Speaking of which...

Well, I do like tea and milk chocolate, and while I would appreciate a gift of the tea variety, I might feel slightly emasculated if someone actually gave me chocolate. Unless I was in Japan on Valentine's Day. (It's actually tradition for the girls to give guys chocolate. Although sometimes it's crappy "obligation" chocolate.) But anywhere else, I'd kind of be like, wait, what the f*ck?

As for coffee and booze, while I would appreciate good coffee or homemade liquor, I would never actually ask for either since I don't drink coffee as I don't want to get addicted to the caffeine and I don't drink spirits ever since I found out how bad it they are for the brain. But-but-but, the health benefits! Not worth it as every little bit of booze kills brain cells. Not to mention, all the health benefits that can be garnered from alcohol can be had in other, better, more efficient ways that don't kill brain cells. In the end, I can't plug chocolate, coffee, and booze as being good gift ideas. However, I would greatly appreciate cannoli, scones, paczki, cheesecake, homemade cookies, and I'm an absolute slut for brownies.

(Wine and Chocolate) Rating: 3 out of 5 because other INTJs like them.

(Tea, Baked Goods, and Other Desserts) Rating: 4 out of 5 because what monster doesn't like brownies?

7. Quality Office (or School) Supplies

This is another queer bird. I mean, I definitely appreciate a good pen and as a writer, I'm always going through notebooks, but I really wouldn't be down for being gifted with either.

Unless it was one of those tip and strip strippers pens.

The problem with office and school supplies is that these are things INTJs need, and if we really need them, we'll go out and buy them for ourselves. The only office supplies I can really think of that I would really want is like a leather briefcase or pimped out business cards. I could also make due with a superb dictionary and thesaurus, but it's not really something I'd ask for.

Rating: 3 (or less) out of 5 unless we're talking a leather briefcase.

Alternative Ideas

Alright, so because those last two are kind of stinkers, let me offer two alternative gift ideas. I know I'm not the stereotypical INTJ, so I might be the only one who feels this way about these things, but it's worth a shot.

8. Music

Dude, I f*cking love music. Well, I'm sure everyone does, but as we all know, INTJs aren't very good at expressing themselves outwardly despite the emotional chaos on the inside. And at times like those, sometimes our thoughts and feelings can only be expressed through a certain song or band. Take me for example, I feel like heavy metal just "gets" and describes me in a way very few things can. A funnier example is the way I feel about Kid Rock's "So Hott" because it tends to describe my feelings toward my "friend" Mary quite well.

"I don't wanna be your friend, I wanna f*ck ya like
I'm never gonna see ya again!"

But, music brah, it's a legitimate gift-giving strategy. Just make sure you ask what your INTJ likes. Our tastes in music are as eccentric as the rest of our interests.

9. Mystic Artifacts

People like to say INTJs aren't religious or spiritual. That's bullsh*t. If we weren't the slightest bit spiritual, we wouldn't be "otherworldly." That's how you acquire that trait. But that's a rant for another time. The point here is that INTJs do have mystic and occult interests. I know finding a legit artifact can be difficult, and you should always use caution around items that may be cursed or contaminated by evil, but if you know an INTJ with an interest in Tarot, runes, crystals, incense, or prefers a more wholesome rosary or crucifix, these are all legitimate gift ideas as they help an INTJ solve the deeper mysteries of the universe as we reach out to touch the ethereal plane.

10. (Bonus!) Yourself

It might sound trite, but it's true. Just like how we're touched by the sentiment of hand-made gifts, the gift of you is the greatest thing you can give us. We're big softies on the inside and we know we can be a pain in the ass, so spending some quality time can mean the world to us. I've been out with friends and let them do most of the talking as well as choose the activity, but I still enjoy myself because I'm with someone I like. I also read somewhere that the love language of INTJs is quality time, and we wouldn't have that as our love language if we weren't terribly fond of you.

Conclusion

In the end, except for three of these: office supplies, wine and chocolate, and gadgets, they're all good gift ideas. However, you really don't need a gift ideas list for an INTJ; all you need to do is ask us what we want and we'll tell you. We appreciate the direct method, and honestly, wouldn't it make you happier knowing that you got us something we actually want rather than guessing and getting it wrong? I wouldn't try the surprise method unless you know your INTJ really well.

Well, that's it for this week. For next week, I'm going to try to write my theory on why ENFPs and INTJs seem to be destined for each other. I think I have enough research and resources to back my claims. But we'll see. Until then...

Keep writing, my friends.

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