Hey, everyone.
So, with today being Valentine's Day, I thought I should do something love themed. Originally, I was going to do a post about INTJs and ENFPs, specifically on why ENFPs are so important to INTJs, but it would be a long post and I ran out of time.
Instead, I found this article "11 Ways to Be a Good Partner for an INTJ in Life and Work" from Truity and I decided to streamline it. I got rid of the "in life and work" perspective to keep this romantic, and there were quite a few redundancies in the original article. Five of their listed items were the same and another two were also the same, so as a result, I narrowed the list down to six. But before I get into this article, I just wanted to remind you all of my Patreon. I know it isn't really geared toward my MBTI audience, but I'm willing to switch some things up if some of you sign up. For just a dollar a month, I can make sure I write quality articles for you guys, especially original material, as I won't need to focus on more mundane methods of getting paid. Also, I'm thinking about launching an INTJ t-shirt line. I've got a few ideas and if the prospect is as promising as it looks, you can expect me to roll on this sometime soon.
Anyway, let's get on with these six ways you can be a good partner for an INTJ.
1. Share your long-term vision.
(This is the one where two items were the same. The other they listed was "Discuss the future.")
So, why should you discuss the future and share your long-term vision with your INTJ? Well, INTJs like to think about the future. They think about it quite often. In fact, I often joke to myself that the reason why I don't have much of a present is because I spend too much time thinking about the future and not doing anything about the future. But this point goes further than that.
INTJs have goals for the future as you are likely to have as well. If you're close to an INTJ, he will want you to accomplish those goals and he'll want to help you accomplish them. By telling him what they are, he can aide you in taking your goals to the next step and accomplishing them. What's more, is that by knowing your plans, it will help him to understand his place in your world and in the relationship.
2. Be prepared to keep up with their formidable logic and willpower.
There are quite a few reasons why they call us "masterminds." One is due to our ability to reason and the other is due to our unstoppable force of a mind. We can jump from information to conclusion to conclusion and from connection to connection faster than most other types. Every little piece of new information and revelation is added to our "database" and our "computer" reaches the next obvious conclusion at the speed of light.
As for our willpower, well, we quite enjoy making the impossible possible or bringing a new premonition to fruition. And part of the reason why we're able to achieve such things is because we're stubborn jackasses. We know what we want and we go for it, acquiring it by almost any means necessary. And the whole time, we focus on it, almost to the exclusion of everything else. (Which can be dangerous.)
For those of you who are up to the challenge, you will need to learn to adapt to these two qualities. It's all right to be a little slow or hesitant in the beginning, but if you want to be our lifelong partner, you're going to need to deal with it, meaning, you either be as quick as us and help us to more effectively concentrate on a goal, or you just wait for us to tell you the answer and allow us to pursue whatever we want by ourselves.
 |
| But if you're looking for that true, sweet, and rare INTJ love, the former option is the way to go. |
3. Understand their complex minds.
(This is the one where four other items were listed, but all fall under this idea. They were "Ask them about their 'theory' on everything," "Listen to their contingency plans," "Be prepared to discuss and argue about abstract ideas," and "Be aware that INTJs can take deconstruction too far.")
So, why should you understand our minds? Well, you don't have to. You could "just go with it," but you'll be missing a lot of what makes us who we are, and it'll likely be an end to the relationship. Although, when I think about, it may be impossible for you to completely understand our minds, so why bother trying?
Well, for the same reason you want us to understand you. It makes us feel validated, like we're important. You'll also be aware of how deep and crazy our minds can become. This can be a scary experience for the uninitiated, but if you've been around for a while, you'll learn the difference between when we're just having fun, when we're pursuing something important, and when we're going to hurt ourselves and how to bring us back from the brink. A moody INTJ who has turned his ire on himself is a very dangerous thing indeed.
4. Be straightforward, never be passive-aggressive.
This is sort of ironic advice because INTJs are both straightforward and passive-aggressive. So why should you be any different? Well, there are times for passive-aggression, but when there are real problems, "honest, plain words best pierce the ear of grief" (Love's Labour's Lost). INTJs are the same way in this regard. We're really only passive-aggressive toward people we don't know real well, hate, or find annoying. With those we care about, we're always direct. We may soften our words, if we have some tact, but you can trust us to be forthcoming. And we appreciate the same sort of tact, honesty, and respect from you.
5. Be prepared to earn their trust and loyalty.
Since we're almost always alone, because most other people can't handle us, and because small minds often reject or ridicule that which they don't understand, we don't give up ourselves easily. INTJs are known to be distant, but trust me, we don't want to be. We long for friendship and a significant other as much as anybody. We want to open up, we want to trust, but first, you'll have to earn our loyalty.
You may think that such a condition isn't all that different from other people, but believe me when I say that the tests you'll have to pass for us will be much more intense than the tests others set. Just about every part of who we are is tied to the center of our identities; you cannot remove one part without affecting the whole. Just like how we make connections all over out in the world, we are similarly connected within ourselves. If you're smart, all you would need is a single foothold, a single insight, and you could completely unravel us. It is for this reason that our trust and loyalty is so hard to earn.
6. Be prepared (to be encouraged) to be your best.
INTJs loathe weakness and stagnancy. What's the point of living a life stuck in one place and being dependent on others? Why look up to a hero when you can be that hero? You've likely heard the saying, "Be the change you want to see." Well, INTJs believe in being the role model they'd look up to. But that's a difficult battle, no doubt about it. However, with an INTJ at your side, you won't have to make the journey alone. Every INTJ is striving to be the best version of himself. We seek the highest form of evolution for ourselves, and believe it or not, we strongly desire to see that same evolution for you. We know you can do it. We know you can be better than you, that you can be everything you want to be, and we're going to help you along the way just as you would help us.
Well, there's not much more to say about this. I have written two other similar articles on what it's like to date an INTJ, you can find one here and the other here, but I think this one may be better focused. Anyway, there won't be a second article for this week as I have a few other opera I need to focus on, but next week, I will be covering the top seven gift ideas for INTJs. It should coincide nicely with the fact that my birthday is next week. So, until then...
Keep writing, my friends.
More About Bryan C. Laesch:
My Opera:
Amazon: My Author Page, My Influencer Page
Facebook: Bryan C. Laesch, Bawdy Scholar
Patreon: Bryan C. Laesch
Twitter: BryanofallTrade
Youtube: Bryan C. Laesch, Bawdy Scholar
No comments:
Post a Comment