Five Reasons Why INTJs Are Loners

Hey, everyone.

So, just as promised, here's my post regarding why INTJs are loners. Or rather, five reasons why we prefer to be loners. Originally, I wanted to look at this from an analytic perspective and go over the INTJ function stack discussing how the functions attributed to our lone wolf attitude. But I realized that this method would be easier to write and be easier to understand for those who aren't familiar with the function stack. Plus, this method incorporates the function stack, so we're all where we want to be.

However, I do want to warn you guys that certain reasons do involve aspects from more than one function, so it could get a little confusing in some places. Hopefully, it all works out in the end.

1. (Constantly) Misunderstood

The first and most important reason why we often prefer to be alone is because we are often misunderstood. Whether it be that no one can pick up the big ideas we're putting down (Ni), our awkward social behavior (Te-Fi-Se), or our humor that is often too dark, sarcastic, and caustic for some people (Te-Se), many people just don't get us.

INTJs are different, and it's generally immediately obvious to someone when they first meet us. Since we don't fit in with the common perspective of how the world and people should be, many prefer to leave us alone.

2. Don't Understand Everyone Else

However, it's not just the world that doesn't understand us--we likewise don't tend to understand the world (all functions are used here). We don't understand how people can't see the things we do, like  how can they not perceive inefficiency as easily as us. We also don't get how people don't understand our (big) ideas, or we don't get how some people don't seem to be willing to implement them even when they agree that they're good ones. It also bothers us that so many people complain about the same things, but no one tries to fix the problem or try a new approach to the problem. Due to these behaviors, we wash our hands of others and allow them to be the grand architects of their own demise.

3. Prefer the Inner World

INTJs do people watch and we are amazingly in-tune with our external world. If we weren't, we wouldn't have the sick Monk-like detective skills that we're known for having. We are well-aware of what goes on around us (Se). But almost everything in the real world is so damn boring, isn't it (Ni)? I don't understand how people can get so worked up over sporting events. What really bothers me is that they watch them rather than play the sports themselves. I'd rather play any sport in the world than watch it. But unfortunately, for sports, there are plenty of other things I'd rather be doing than watching sports.

This impatience with the material world and being bored with the mundane means that INTJs often look inward. Again, it's our imagination--our Ni--that we turn to. And seeing as how ideas are born of the mind, we focus inwardly and ignore what is outward. As a result, our minds become great sources of entertainment for us, and typically you can't imagine things when there are people around, so...

4. Kind of Assh*les

If you're new to this whole INTJ-thing, it should be obvious by now that INTJs have some very strong opinions. This would be our Te, our desire to see the world reflect what we think it should be because come on, nobody knows better than us. (Most of the time.) Because of this arrogance and the fact that we can't stand seeing the world not be the way we think it should be (Ni-Te-Se), we again wash our hands of it.

5. Too Intense for Some People

Originally this reason was "Too Serious for Some People," but I think "intense" is a more appropriate term. We're still quite serious, but typically only in public. We can be downright goofy in private or when you set us up on stage. But regardless of the situation, we generally have two modes: "Not Interested" and "Go Time." If we're not into something, you'll be able to tell from how bored and apathetic we are. But when we are serious about something, we chase it, and we chase it fiercely.

True, we may not look emboldened or impassioned on the outside, but there's a fire raging on the inside. Anything we're passionate about, we don't do half-assed--we go all the way. As a result, some people can't keep up with this level of intensity. A good example would be an INTJ's morals (Ni-Te-Fi)--we stick to them like glue and never waver. For people who are more "whatev's" about their morals, they will often back out of our way when they realize we're serious about our personal code. This sort of intensity, almost bordering on obsession, can be found in many of our pursuits, and many people don't have the mental capacity to put up with it. Hence, we end up alone.

Bonus: Succeeding Alone Proves Your Strength

They say "there's safety in numbers" and "together we stand." They're not wrong, but the greatest proof of one's strength, especially strength of character (Ni-Te-Fi), can be found in those who often walk alone. They don't have crowds of people cheering them on, supporting them, or showering them with positive affirmations; they're entirely responsible for where they are in life due to their own efforts.

This experience of building oneself up without any help tends to create a perpetual cycle wherein the  more a person accomplishes alone, the more he relies on himself, thus becoming stronger, which in turn causes him to accomplish more alone, and the cycle continues.

INTJs who have spent a lot of time alone have proven to themselves time again that they're capable of great things alone, and so they push and criticize themselves more than anyone else, forcing them to go on and prove to themselves even further that they can do "it" alone. As a result, INTJs convince themselves that they don't need anybody in their lives. But this isn't necessarily a bad thing as INTJs still may want someone in their lives, and who wouldn't want to share a life with someone who has accomplished so much alone?



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And that is five reasons why INTJs are loners. I'm sure there are more, but these feel like the biggest. Hopefully I was successful in analyzing the functions alongside the reasons themselves. If you enjoyed this post and want to make sure I continue writing, please consider supporting me on Patreon. And if you want to stay in the loop with whatever I write, please consider joining my mailing list.

For next week, I'm actually going to take a look at what it's like growing up as INTJ and how it's different from the average experience. It'll be more of a personal memoir than a psychological analysis, but hopefully it adds something to that article I wrote back in December: How to Spot an INTJ at School, which is my most popular post by the way. But in the meantime...

Keep writing, my friends.

More About Bryan C. Laesch:

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Five Fears INTJs Have

Hey, everyone.

So last week when I was thinking about random stuff, I thought about the things that I'm afraid of, not the things that scare me, but the things I'm afraid of. Yes, there is a difference, unfortunately I don't think I can articulate what it is. Anyway, I decided to turn that idea into a blog post, and I came up with five things that INTJs fear. Let's jump in.

1. Loss of Freedom

This is the worst fear I have, and I'm sure other INTJs feel it as well. Despite the fact that INTJs are rooted within the real world and facts, our minds and hearts have a deep and desperate yearning to be free. The real world and facts are part of our Te, which is our auxiliary function, but our dominant function is Ni, and you can't hold good intuition down, no matter how hard you try.

The pairing of Ni-Te is where much of our contradictory nature comes from. We're big into routine and we don't like change or surprises, but when forced into someone else's routine, our souls scream for freedom. I think what we want is for everything to be on our terms. We prefer to keep to a routine--our routine--but we want to have the choice for greater freedom should we desire it. We must have the capacity to allow our minds to wander and explore as it is in those deep and weird possibilities we find our greatest happiness.

2. Not Being As Good As We Think We Are

INTJs are good, and I don't mean that morally. What I mean is that we are competent, capable, and skilled. We take great pride in being able to do things that others can't, or in being able to do things right out of the gate. For this, we do sometimes look down on others. That's why it's so shattering to us when we find out that we aren't as capable as we thought we were.

It really nettles us because we're constantly looking for ways to be better--better than we were, certainly--but sometimes it is about being better than someone else. To know that we slipped up or that we're not as talented as we thought--it's embarrassing to say the least. Especially when you're as arrogant as we are. "Pride cometh before the fall..."

3. Not Conceiving the Most Important Possibility

Imagine the possibilities. Can you? Maybe you can't. I know I can. But there have been times when I've missed something. I recently had a conversation with my friend Jessica about why some girls are so warm towards a guy one day and then suddenly back off. I had come up with a multitude of possibilities, but she explained it as being simply that the women were "trying something out, and decided it wasn't for them." This hadn't occurred to me.

Some people may say that you can't possibly think of everything, but when it comes to INTJs, who plan out everything so meticulously, who have a backup to a backup to a backup to a backup, and who spend so much of their time and energy on thinking and trying to see a scenario from every angle, when we try to be that thorough, it's distressing knowing that we missed something.

4. Being Wrong

This is sort of a combination of #3 and #4, but it can stand on its own in a factual way. So much of an INTJ's life is centered around truth and facts that we're absolutely terrified of being wrong. About what? Everything! Some may be able to take being wrong more gracefully than others, but generally INTJs feel like they have everything pretty well sorted and figured out. Hence, it's embarrassing, and a little bit shameful, when we're wrong.

5. Not Finding that One Person Who Truly Understands Us

I don't know how other INTJs feel about this one, and it's possible I only feel this way because it's summer and my hormones are going wild, but I legitimately fear missing out on the one. I factually don't believe in soul mates, fate, or destiny, but I do long for that one perfect girl who completely understands me. That one person with whom comprehension and intimacy run so deep that our minds f*ck just as hard as our bodies.

I can deal with lesser relationships coming and going, and I do have friends, but none of them truly get me. So I have a strong desire for that one woman who makes all the time I've spent alone and all the time and energy I've invested in improving myself worth it. And it truly scares me that I may never find her and share everything I am and have built myself to be with her. (Oh, look at that. I used "scare." I guess there isn't that much of a difference after all.)

The Themes of Fear

While I was writing this post, I realized something. It's true that some of these overlap, but in the right situation, they are different enough to stand on their own. Because of this duality, there are two central themes running through them all: missing something important and control.

It's been said that INTJs are controlled, and there is a reason for that--we like being in control, specifically over ourselves and our own lives. Life would be so much simpler if we could control every aspect of it. And a part of that control is that we don't want to miss anything important. With the ability to control everything, we control what we know, what we think, what theories can be applied to what parts of our lives, and what we can do. It also prevents us from looking arrogant, because remember, it's only hubris if you fail. And if you control everything, you'll always succeed.

***

 

And that, is that. I'm sorry for the late release but I've been busy with a lot of stuff, like looking for a job. If you hate to see me turning out posts at this greatly slowed rate, please support me on Patreon, and prevent me from getting a real job. And if you want to stay in the loop with whatever I write, please consider joining my mailing list.

For next week, I'm going to try to answer the question as to why INTJs are loners. Should be interesting. In the meantime...

Keep writing, my friends.

More About Bryan C. Laesch:

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Are INTJs Moody?

Hey, everyone.

I couldn't remember what the more interesting topic for this week was going to be, so I decided to go back to this old idea: are INTJs moody? A good number of people would probably say yes, but some would argue that it's a bit more nuanced that that. Personally, it makes me wonder what sort of drunks INTJs are. I wouldn't know since I've never been. The closest I've been was tipsy, and all it did was mildly release my talking inhibition. Anyway...

Death Glare/Resting Bitch Face

People who would argue that INTJs are moody probably use the whole death glare or resting bitch face as their prime evidence. After all, it is one of our most distinguishing characteristics.

But I would argue that there's a difference between the DG and the RBF. The RBF is just the way we look, and the DG actually contains an iota of anger or displeasure. The RBF is more of a neutral face, despite not looking neutral in anyway. Hence, people assume we're actually pissed off.

Making DG/RBF Scarier

What really doesn't help the matter is that the DG/RBF can be made scarier. I don't know if this happens to anyone else, but when I'm running on a lack of sleep, my attitude is far worse for it. I'm far more irritable when I'm tired versus when I'm well-rested. Hell, when I'm well-rested, you might mistake me for an ESFP, if you can catch me in such a rare and very private form.

Anyway, when I'm that tired, my RBF resembles a DG much more, and I really need to be conscious of it because I don't know who I'm offending or scaring off as a result. It's especially a concern at church because then people make all sorts of assumptions about you, and your mother calls you out on scowling and your best friend calls you grumpy... Like I said, less sleep equals more irritable.

No Tolerance for People

However, what I really think is the cause of why people might assume INTJs are moody has to do with the fact that we're not people persons. Some people think socializing is our kryptonite--I disagree. Socializing is easy--it's people that suck. Some of them are kind of dumb, they lack perspective, and some of them are genuinely annoying. Sure, once in a while we get the urge to be social, but most of the time, if someone walks into the room, we walk out of it, and nothing says "I hate you" quite like leaving the room just as someone enters.

We Don't Wear A Mask

I don't think INTJs are moody... for the most part. I just think we enjoy our solitude and since most people don't meet our high standards, they aren't likely to see us as not moody.

The part of the equation that I just thought of, is that because INTJs don't abide by typical socializing standards, we're not likely to act happy when we're not--INTJs don't wear masks. If we're tired or unhappy, we look it. And because INTJs don't sleep all that much, due to all the ideas we get, we constantly look tired and are unhappy because of it. So... maybe we are moody. Huh.

Gothic and Angsty Mind

But something I want to cover real quick, and I'm not sure if other INTJs have this going on for them, is that I know for my part that I am quite Gothic of mind. Now, that doesn't mean that I enjoy being depressed or that I think having fun and smiling are terrible--I just have a penchant for the darker stuff. As I've said elsewhere, in my heart of hearts, I'm just an angsty, emo Goth kid. So perhaps other INTJs aren't thought of as moody--it's just me. Course though, that would contradict the lack of sleep argument, so who knows.

***

 

And that, as they say, is that. I don't think we're any more or any less susceptible to being moody than other people, but we almost certainly don't bother to hide it. But anyway, if you enjoyed this post and you want to stay in the loop with whatever I write, please consider joining my mailing list or even supporting me on Patreon. $1 a month keeps me from doing "real" work, and I really appreciate that.

For next week, I'm going to go over what INTJs are afraid of. I've already got a list with five items on it, so this article is already shaping up.

Keep writing, my friends.

More About Bryan C. Laesch:

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Why Fans Have a Right to be Angry about the Direction of Star Wars

Hey, everyone.

So if you're familiar with the world of geekdom, you've likely noticed the hub-bub surrounding Star Wars. For those who don't know, the hub-bub centers on "disagreements" regarding the direction of the franchise. I'm not going to go into what those all are as it is quite the tale, but there are numerous videos on YouTube explaining them. Here's a small sample:

1. "The Decline of Star Wars: Part I - The Films" by WorldClassBullshitters featuring RetroBlasting
2. "Solo: A Star Wars Story: An Unbridled Rage" by MauLer
3. "A Critique of Star Wars: The Last Jedi - Part 1" by MauLer
4. "Women Hated The Last Jedi Too" by Geeks+Gamers featuring Mindless Entertainment
5. "The Real Reason Why People Are Pissed at the Last Jedi" by Lobster Magnet's Review: The Channel
6. "Thanks for Ruining Star Wars, Kathleen!" by WorldClassBullshitters featuring RetroBlasting, Razorfist, and MauLer
7. "Star Wars BEFORE Feminism" by Mindless Entertainment

With that out of the way, I can now address why fans have a right to be angry about the current direction and handling of Star Wars.

First, I would like to ask the question: what is a "fan?" What does it mean to be a fan of something? Does it simply mean to like something, like can you be a fan of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches? I don't think so; that seems a little too basic.

I define "fandom" as the state in which a person likes something, either a band, writer, movie, etc, so much so that they make room for it in their lives, perceptions, and emotions. They choose to spend their time with that something special over other things, they spend their money buying merchandise that represents that something special, and they spend their brain power speculating on the future of that something special. To put it simply, to be a fan means to bring that something special into your life and allow it to affect your life, not so dissimilar from a relationship or friendship.

Since fans do this, it is inevitable they would grow attached to whatever their fandom surrounds, and so it is with Star Wars, which has been creating fans since 1977. Some people have been fans their entire lives, and others have been fortunate enough to be around since the very beginning. If anyone is invested in what Star Wars is and represents, it is these people, but all fans have played a part in building its legacy and legend. So you'll listen to these people's criticisms when they say SW is not headed in the direction it should.

Unfortunately, that's not what we see. Where fans have criticized Lucasfilm President Kathleen Kennedy for pushing a female-centric agenda, she responds by saying SW doesn't need male fans, despite the fact that 90% of SW fans are male. Where fans have criticized The Last Jedi director Rian Johnson for making a movie that is inconsistent with all of its predecessors and for destroying fan favorite character Luke Skywalker's arc, he responds by saying that fans "don't get" the movie, and when the fans push back with more criticism, he screams harassment and uses social media to insult them. Where fans have criticized Lucasfilm for pushing forced diversity by casting minority roles and then doing nothing to build the characters and stories of these roles, Lucasfilm responds by calling fans racists and bigots.

This is why fans are angry about Star Wars. Not only are they watching their favorite franchise be taken in a direction it was never meant to go--forcing political agendas rather than being used to tell a classic tale of good versus evil--fans are also watching Lucasfilm doubling down on their current path of politicizing the movies, and then insulting anyone who disagrees with this direction. And then when tempers really flare, Lucasfilm employees respond with "it's just a movie."

True, The Force Awakens, The Last Jedi and Solo: A Star Wars Story are movies, but they are also only three parts of a much larger universe that incorporates 7 other movies, countless books and video games, and the imaginations of a world-wide fandom that helped to create a truly impressive and massive expanded universe over the course of four decades. To say that Star Wars is "just a movie" diminishes the care and energy fans have spent on SW. For these people, SW is not "just a movie"--it's an inseparable part of their lives. So when Lucasfilm dismisses fans and their concerns, they dismiss people's thoughts, feelings, and memories--they bite the hand that feeds.

Fans have a right to be angry because they care--they care where Star Wars has been and they care where it's going. Therefore, when the quality of the films and other media do not meet the standards and practices of storytelling they are used to, fans have a duty, as loyalists to the soul of Star Wars, to let the creators know they are slipping and an adjustment needs to be made. That's what a true fan is. A person who just accepts everything regardless of quality and delivery just because it's "Star Wars," and therefore must be a good thing, is a sycophant. And likewise, fans have a right to be angry with these bootlickers who further divide the fandom with their instigation of further conflict.

Despite how inspirational true stories are, fictional stories are no less important to people. Regardless of whether a story is told in a movie, video game, or book, our lives are touched by that story. We are affected and changed by them. Most would argue their lives are better for the creation of Star Wars until you start talking about the Disney era, and then you look at how Lucasfilm and other media outlets attack fans who don't like the new movies. So of course fans are going to be happy that Solo: A Star Wars Story is a box office bomb because it sends a clear message to Disney and Lucasfilm that they have lost the plot, and as a result, fans are not going to feed the beast until things are set right.

If you still don't know what I'm on about, here are two more videos for you that sum up my points in a much more succinct and entertaining manner:

1. "STAR WARS NOVELIST DENIES REALITY AND ATTACKS FANDOM!! Y U MAD??" by ComicArtistPro Secrets
2. "How to Kill the Star Wars Franchise in 10 Days" by WorldClassBullshitters

Edit: In regards to Kelly Marie Tran deleting her Instagram account, no one knows why she did it. Everyone assumes it is due to bullying, but until Tran says so herself, every article that comes out on the topic is speculation and smacks heavily of Lucasfilm attempting to deflect from the failure of Solo as well as the news that Lucasfilm is finally replacing Kennedy.

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If you enjoyed this post and you want to stay in the loop with whatever I write, please consider joining my mailing list or even supporting me on Patreon. Even $1 a month helps to keep me writing and not doing something actually constructive. If you're interested in joining "The Fandom Menace," just click on any of the video links above, but especially those from WorldClassBullshitters, Geeks+Gamers, or ComicArtistPro Secrets, and we'll get your initiation underway.

Keep writing, my friends.

More About Bryan C. Laesch:
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Are INTJs Dangerous?

Hey, everyone

So here's an interesting question for you: Are INTJs dangerous?

Many people will likely say we aren't. Since we prefer to keep to ourselves, we're not going to interact with other people, who are our main cause of irritation, all that often. But it is often understood that INTJs still have a fuse, long though it may be--a fuse still has to go somewhere. Obviously, even INTJs reach a point where we can't take it anymore. But just because we're angry, that doesn't mean we're going to start throwing punches or flipping tables.

However, I think this view is a little narrow-minded. After all, while we usually define "dangerous" by a recorded or known history of violent interactions, we can also define it by one's potential for becoming dangerous. And with INTJs being strong Intuitives, there's plenty of potential there, especially for a personality type that believes anything is possible and has the ability to switch off its emotions, which can be interpreted either as INTJs suppressing them until they explode or as INTJs being able to carry out violence without being afflicted by guilt.

Let's Get Physical

When you open up the discussion to "potentially dangerous" and consider the other quirks INTJs possess, all sorts of other possibilities begin to show up. Take for example that INTJs are the sort that are constantly improving themselves. Because INTJs are so cerebral, most would expect them to improve themselves intellectually or mentally, but a well-rounded and perceptive INTJ would apply that concept to every aspect of his life, including his physical prowess. Take me for instance, I do lift. While my desire to pump iron was originally born from an expanding waistline, I must admit that I have grown rather fond of the activity, and I look forward to the day when I can disrobe at the beach and grab every woman's attention. That's still a long ways off, but I quite like the idea of building myself to that point.

Next, let's consider all the knowledge INTJs acquire. Some of it may be esoteric, but some of it is rather normal. And given that INTJs like being self-sufficient, why wouldn't they pick up some self-defense techniques or even weapons knowledge? After all, if it is the dream of every INTJ to live off the grid, therefore they're prone to learning how to use a firearm, a bow, a staff, or a knife, all of which are just as good for survival as they are for self-defense.

Lastly, when you consider that INTJs really contemplate every possibility and how they seem to be prepared for every scenario and situation, it's extremely likely they already have plan for when things get serious.


Ideas Can Be Dangerous

But again, this perspective is still a little too narrow. While INTJs are likely to be prepared for a physical confrontation, they're not likely to find themselves in one. They don't lead from the front, and being viciously efficient, they're likely to take whatever course of action prevents them from being directly in the path of danger. Not to mention, there is a better use for their intelligence and imagination.

INTJs are very big into ideas, no matter how implausible they may seem. And if you're familiar with  historical idealists like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Gandhi, you'll know that an idea can be a very dangerous thing. They have the capacity to spark a movement and change the world. They're capable of disestablishing the status quo and giving rise to a new equilibrium. Ideas create revolutions, and revolutions are quite often bloody.

Therefore, I would argue that INTJs are most dangerous in their capacity to think and reason. Even going back to physical confrontations, the idea that an INTJ would work out and prepare for the day when he may need to fight is just that: an idea. That INTJ used his brain long before he ever used his body, and since ideas have the ability to transfer from mind-to-mind, and thus, move the body, INTJs are far more likely to tackle something with an idea or concept and hope the rest of the world takes it to heart.

In closing, INTJs can be dangerous. As one myself, I would say we can be somewhat dangerous. Remember, we are not slow in doling out consequences, nor are we known for having a forgiving nature. Thankfully, we have a long fuse and we avoid people as often as possible, which greatly diminishes whatever threat we may pose.

***

And that's how INTJs could be dangerous. We prefer not to be, but you still shouldn't piss us off. If you enjoyed this post and you want to stay in the loop with whatever I write, please consider joining my mailing list or even supporting me on Patreon. $1 a month keeps me from doing "real" work, and I really appreciate that.

For next week, I'm not sure what I'll be doing. I could answer the question of if we're moody, but I thought of something better, and now I can't remember it. So, next week will be a surprise.

Keep writing, my friends.

More About Bryan C. Laesch:

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Being A Writer #3: This Book Needs to be a Movie!

Hey, everyone.

Unlike last week's Being A Writer, this one is much more positive. And probably much shorter.

Explanation

When I first wrote Remnants of Chaos: Chaotic Omens, when I finished it, I posted it to Inkitt where it got some great reviews, including one or two people saying it should be turned into a movie.

I quite enjoyed how emphatic they were about it, one claiming ROCCO "needs" to be a movie. It says quite a lot about your writing when the audience approves of it being turned into a motion picture. I know not all cinematic adaptations are homeruns, but when people are saying, "Someone should spend $100 million+ to bring this to life!" you can't help but take it as a compliment. You wrote a story and built a world that's worth hundreds of millions of dollars to somebody, and that could be your hundreds of millions of dollars.

But it's not just about the money. It's about the exposure and recognition. Movies have a wider reach than books, and generally, most cinematic adaptations are fantastic pieces of art and sometimes they're better than the book. The fact that there are people out there who believe your work is worthy of that sort of effort to properly imagine it and they believe you're good enough to be worldly acclaimed are significant feathers in your cap. Compliments like this are why we stay in the business.

The only thing better is if someone says your book is their favorite.

***

 



If you enjoyed this uplifting Being A Writer post and you want to stay in the loop with whatever I write, please consider joining my mailing list or even supporting me on Patreon. $1 a month keeps me from doing "real" work, and I really appreciate that.

Keep writing, my friends.

More About Bryan C. Laesch:

Amazon: My Author Page
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Weird Moments with INTJ #3: Critical Open-Mindedness

Hey, everyone.

So this Weird Moments with INTJ is truly a weird moment, especially for me. Let's get into why.

Explanation

The reason why this Weird Moments is weird for me is because I do believe in a higher power, and it does bother me that INTJs have this reputation for not being believers. Although, I have seen the numbers, and a majority of INTJs do believe in a higher power, but it is only about 64%. However, there is a difference between believing in a higher power and acknowledging belief in a higher power. Many INTJs are probably actually on the fence about the whole issue and would prefer to have more evidence before committing to a decision.

But, anyway, this Weird Moments is more about the stereotypical INTJ. True, he's not likely admit to the existence of a higher power, but he is likely to flip the situation on its head and say something to this effect. It kind of comes off as mean, but it is realistic for an INTJ to do due to our honesty. And we are likely to see a critical person in a hypocritical light if they aren't also critical of their own lives.

Of course though, this principle can be applied in any situation, like someone who is overweight giving diet tips to a thinner person or someone who's a loser calling another person a loser. INTJs have enough outward perspective to see the irony of these situations and tell these people, "He without sin, cast the first stone."

(See what I did there?)

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If you enjoyed this post about how INTJs are critical and open-minded, and you want to stay in the loop with whatever I write, please consider joining my mailing list or even supporting me on Patreon. $1 a month keeps me from doing "real" work, and I really appreciate that.

Keep writing, my friends.

More About Bryan C. Laesch:

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Quick and Dirty INTJ Thoughts #4: Caught in the Act

Hey, everyone.

Here's a bit of a humorous Quick and Dirty INTJ Thought for you that exposes how awkward INTJs can be. (On second thought, this might be better for Weird Moments with INTJ.)

Explanation

It's no secret INTJs are very private creatures. We thrive on our own. As a result, we're at our most comfortable or relaxed, which is another way to say vulnerable, when we're alone. But it really bites us in the ass when we think we're alone, or when we're having a grand ole time and you suddenly walk in the room. You may ask us what we were doing or whom we were talking to, but because we're so embarrassed that you caught us dancing in our underwear or having an epic argument against an imaginary Kathleen Kennedy on how she's destroying Star Wars, we decide that instead of admitting to our embarrassment, we're just going to leave and let your question go unanswered.

(Even if you think we've got some sweet moves, look good in our underwear, or you completely agree that Kathleen Kennedy sucks.)

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If you enjoyed this quick and dirty INTJ thought about how awkward INTJs can be and you want to stay in the loop with whatever I write, please consider joining my mailing list or even supporting me on Patreon. $1 a month keeps me from doing "real" work, and I really appreciate that.

Keep writing, my friends.

More About Bryan C. Laesch:

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7 Reasons Why It's Awesome Being Friends with an INTJ

Hey, everyone.

This is the second part to my post from last week where I first asked the question, "What is it like to be friends with an INTJ?" If you recall, my answer is that it's difficult, but rewarding. Last week, I answered why it's difficult, and this week, I'm going to talk about why it's rewarding, or rather, why it's awesome. Mostly because it is actually awesome, but also because saying it's "rewarding" is a little awkward.

Now, while you may not be able to throw beer bottles at us when you're low, you'll find that we have so many better qualities to offer.

1. You'll never find anyone more loyal.

Call me "Fido." Not because my loyalty rivals your dog's, but because you'll never find a more faithful friend. (Fun Fact: "Fido" is derived from the Latin "fidelis" which means "faithful.")

Despite how hard and harsh we can be on the outside, INTJs are amazingly idealistic on the inside. And since we're not hypocrites, we try to emulate those qualities that we value and seek most. One of those qualities is loyalty. Unless you do something truly horrible to us or against our code of honor, we'll never betray you, backstab you, cut you out of the deal, or let slip your secrets. You can trust us.

2. We're willing to listen.

While we're not exactly warm and fuzzy, we have been known to give those we genuinely care about the warm and fuzzies. Since we're introverts, we'd rather listen than talk anyway, and since we're your friend, we'll listen to whatever you have to say, even your problems. Just be warned, we will try to solve or fix your problems. If that's not what you're looking for, then go talk to a wall, otherwise, we've got your back.

3. We remember everything you tell us.

Remember number two? Because we're so predisposed toward listening, we can get to know you pretty well. (Sometimes we'll know you better than you know us.) And we have great mental capacities for both memory and recall. Since you're important to us, we remember whatever you tell us in case that information proves useful elsewhere, whether it be to buy you a gift, recall something important you said, or implicate you at a crime scene. Or the exact opposite of that last one.

4. We're low maintenance.

Ever had a "friend" who didn't know when to shut up or leave you alone? With INTJs, this isn't a problem. We might hang out with you or text you for a while, but then you're not likely to hear from us for close to three months or more. Now, if you're our best friend or girlfriend, this won't be the case, but for those further out in our social circle, you needn't worry about us becoming bothersome because we will "disappear" once in a while. Not to mention, we also don't need to be reminded of the fact that we're still friends. INTJs are perspective enough to know when the friendship is still on or over.

5. We're honest.

Not everyone appreciates honesty. They say they do, but they would rather live a comfortable lie than an inconvenient truth. However, if you do appreciate honesty, INTJs are the ones to go to. We appreciate the truth and we like facts because they can never be other than what they are. Despite our love of complexity, you just can't beat simplicity sometimes. (Probably because it's efficient!) Now, some INTJs are more blunt or less tactful than others, but regardless of our speaking skills, we will always be honest with you.

6. We value you more than you know.

We know we're a pain in the butt. We know we're weird. We know we're different. We've been targets for bullying, tasteless jokes, and being pushed out of groups for most of our lives. Hell, some people just don't like being in our presence. (I hope that's the otherworldly charm.) So, when we find someone who likes being around us and enjoys our friendship, and looks forward to seeing us, and enjoys hugging us or being hugged by us, we greatly appreciate it and you.

We're the outsiders of the outsiders, the unwanted, but you give us the warm and fuzzies, and for that, we love you. We're not very forthright about it, but we do drop plenty of hints. If you're observant and listen very carefully to what we say, you'll see just how much you mean to us.

7. Anything you tell us in confidence ends with us. No exceptions.

Going back to point number one, INTJs never betray. Need to tell someone a secret? You've come to the right place. We will be your secret-keeper until you no longer need us to be. I've been holding onto a secret my friend Alysa told me back in 2010, and although it is no longer valid, I still haven't told anyone, even though I haven't seen her in almost as many years.

Many people relish secrets because knowing something that someone else doesn't gives them power over that person. It gives them authority because they're more knowledgeable than the other, which is why so many people tease about knowing something that someone doesn't. And then they eat up the attention they're given as the others try to pry it out of them. Makes them feel important.

While INTJs may value the power trip of knowing the secret and even the rare attention that comes with people trying to get it out of us, INTJs never feel the pressure to let the cat out of the bag. It just doesn't get to us. And while we might like to tell the secret, we remain true to our values because keeping a squeaky clean reputation is more important to us. Oh, and our friendship with you. But seriously, we don't want our secrets getting out, so we will likewise keep yours.

BONUS!!! We believe in you.

INTJs don't waste their time on losers. We befriend those who are just as smart, as capable, and as determined as ourselves. And since we know that we can do whatever we set our minds to, we know that you can too. Whatever you want to do, whatever you want to be, we know you can do it. More than that, we'll be by your side throughout your entire struggle, and should you ever ask for help, we'll be there for you. Just know that it comes with the price that we're able to count on you for help in equal measure. And if we can't, that's a friendship ender. Keep that in mind.

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And those are the seven reasons why it's awesome having an INTJ as a friend. There are definitely others, but I think these are the strongest. If I missed your favorite reason, feel free to leave it in the comments below. Also, if you enjoyed this post and you want to stay in the loop with whatever I write, please consider joining my mailing list or even supporting me on Patreon. $1 a month keeps me from doing "real" work, and I really appreciate that.

For next week, I'll either answer the question are INTJs moody, or are INTJs dangerous. Be on the lookout for that.

Keep writing, my friends.

More About Bryan C. Laesch:

Amazon: My Author Page
Facebook: Bryan C. Laesch, Bawdy Scholar
Patreon: Bryan C. Laesch
Instagram: Bryan C. Laesch
Twitter: BryanofallTrade
Youtube: Bryan C. Laesch, Bawdy Scholar