Hey, everyone.
This is the second part to my post from last week where I first asked the question, "What is it like to be friends with an INTJ?" If you recall, my answer is that it's difficult, but rewarding. Last week, I answered why it's difficult, and this week, I'm going to talk about why it's rewarding, or rather, why it's awesome. Mostly because it is actually awesome, but also because saying it's "rewarding" is a little awkward.
Now, while you may not be able to throw beer bottles at us when you're low, you'll find that we have so many better qualities to offer.
1. You'll never find anyone more loyal.
Call me "Fido." Not because my loyalty rivals your dog's, but because you'll never find a more faithful friend. (Fun Fact: "Fido" is derived from the Latin "fidelis" which means "faithful.")
Despite how hard and harsh we can be on the outside, INTJs are amazingly idealistic on the inside. And since we're not hypocrites, we try to emulate those qualities that we value and seek most. One of those qualities is loyalty. Unless you do something truly horrible to us or against our code of honor, we'll never betray you, backstab you, cut you out of the deal, or let slip your secrets. You can trust us.
2. We're willing to listen.
While we're not exactly warm and fuzzy, we have been known to give those we genuinely care about the warm and fuzzies. Since we're introverts, we'd rather listen than talk anyway, and since we're your friend, we'll listen to whatever you have to say, even your problems. Just be warned, we will try to solve or fix your problems. If that's not what you're looking for, then go talk to a wall, otherwise, we've got your back.
3. We remember everything you tell us.
Remember number two? Because we're so predisposed toward listening, we can get to know you pretty well. (Sometimes we'll know you better than you know us.) And we have great mental capacities for both memory and recall. Since you're important to us, we remember whatever you tell us in case that information proves useful elsewhere, whether it be to buy you a gift, recall something important you said, or implicate you at a crime scene. Or the exact opposite of that last one.
4. We're low maintenance.
Ever had a "friend" who didn't know when to shut up or leave you alone? With INTJs, this isn't a problem. We might hang out with you or text you for a while, but then you're not likely to hear from us for close to three months or more. Now, if you're our best friend or girlfriend, this won't be the case, but for those further out in our social circle, you needn't worry about us becoming bothersome because we will "disappear" once in a while. Not to mention, we also don't need to be reminded of the fact that we're still friends. INTJs are perspective enough to know when the friendship is still on or over.
5. We're honest.
Not everyone appreciates honesty. They say they do, but they would rather live a comfortable lie than an inconvenient truth. However, if you do appreciate honesty, INTJs are the ones to go to. We appreciate the truth and we like facts because they can never be other than what they are. Despite our love of complexity, you just can't beat simplicity sometimes. (Probably because it's efficient!) Now, some INTJs are more blunt or less tactful than others, but regardless of our speaking skills, we will always be honest with you.
6. We value you more than you know.
We know we're a pain in the butt. We know we're weird. We know we're different. We've been targets for bullying, tasteless jokes, and being pushed out of groups for most of our lives. Hell, some people just don't like being in our presence. (I hope that's the otherworldly charm.) So, when we find someone who likes being around us and enjoys our friendship, and looks forward to seeing us, and enjoys hugging us or being hugged by us, we greatly appreciate it and you.
We're the outsiders of the outsiders, the unwanted, but you give us the warm and fuzzies, and for that, we love you. We're not very forthright about it, but we do drop plenty of hints. If you're observant and listen very carefully to what we say, you'll see just how much you mean to us.
7. Anything you tell us in confidence ends with us. No exceptions.
Going back to point number one, INTJs never betray. Need to tell someone a secret? You've come to the right place. We will be your secret-keeper until you no longer need us to be. I've been holding onto a secret my friend Alysa told me back in 2010, and although it is no longer valid, I still haven't told anyone, even though I haven't seen her in almost as many years.
Many people relish secrets because knowing something that someone else doesn't gives them power over that person. It gives them authority because they're more knowledgeable than the other, which is why so many people tease about knowing something that someone doesn't. And then they eat up the attention they're given as the others try to pry it out of them. Makes them feel important.
While INTJs may value the power trip of knowing the secret and even the rare attention that comes with people trying to get it out of us, INTJs never feel the pressure to let the cat out of the bag. It just doesn't get to us. And while we might like to tell the secret, we remain true to our values because keeping a squeaky clean reputation is more important to us. Oh, and our friendship with you. But seriously, we don't want our secrets getting out, so we will likewise keep yours.
BONUS!!! We believe in you.
INTJs don't waste their time on losers. We befriend those who are just as smart, as capable, and as determined as ourselves. And since we know that we can do whatever we set our minds to, we know that you can too. Whatever you want to do, whatever you want to be, we know you can do it. More than that, we'll be by your side throughout your entire struggle, and should you ever ask for help, we'll be there for you. Just know that it comes with the price that we're able to count on you for help in equal measure. And if we can't, that's a friendship ender. Keep that in mind.
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And those are the seven reasons why it's awesome having an INTJ as a friend. There are definitely others, but I think these are the strongest. If I missed your favorite reason, feel free to leave it in the comments below. Also, if you enjoyed this post and you want to stay in the loop with whatever I write, please consider joining my mailing list or even supporting me on Patreon. $1 a month keeps me from doing "real" work, and I really appreciate that.
For next week, I'll either answer the question are INTJs moody, or are INTJs dangerous. Be on the lookout for that.
Keep writing, my friends.
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