Hey, everyone.
So, in my attempt to further lend a sneaping wisdom to what an INTJ is and what we're about, I'm tackling a new stereotype regarding our legend, that being that we're sociopaths or psychopaths. Now, I have looked up an article on either subject, specifically the signs of each, and I'm going to go through them and talk about whether or not INTJs have them or why people might think we have them.
I should however mention that sociopathy and psychopathy are not clearly defined. They do share some traits, and the DSM even eschews either preferring the blanket diagnosis of "antisocial personality disorder." So I'm going to invest some time into taking an online test to see if I have it.
But before we get into this, let me remind you all that if you enjoy my content, you can support me through Patreon. $1 a month will do wonders for my blog, maybe even pump me up to an official platform like WordPress, but for $5 I could invest in Squarespace. That's just .17 cents a day.
Now, then...
“If, instead, you find yourself often pitying someone who consistently hurts you or ... the chances are close to 100 percent that you are dealing with a sociopath.”
― Martha Stout, The Sociopath Next Door
So what makes a sociopath a sociopath? Well, I did find an article on Psychology Today that listed 16 whole traits. Unfortunately, they admitted to the fact that sociopath and psychopath are quite similar to each other and mixed the traits together. Plus, some of the traits confused me as they were listed as "trait A or trait B" where A and B seemed to contradict one another. I've posted the link to Psychology Today so you can see it for yourself, but for a more concise list, I'm going to look at Unified Soul Theory's article of "7 Warning Signs of a Sociopath." Let's see if INTJs are really sociopaths.
1. Lots of "Friends"
Right off the bat, something's wrong. INTJs don't have lots of any kind of friends, quotations or not. Now, Facebook might tell a different story, but we're all pretty aware of the empty commitment of most of the people on our Facebook friends list. So barring Facebook friends, I stand by my statement that INTJs don't have lots of friends. We don't even seem to have lots of friends. Sometimes our real friends don't even seem like real friends to outsiders. So there's very little chance of us having a major list of phony friends since we're likely to treat any one who tries to be our friend but isn't with great disdain and distance. So, this isn't a trait we have.
2. Manipulative
Hmm, this one is sort of tough. While I think it's possible that an underdeveloped or even immature INTJ might be manipulative, most INTJs are not so. We might seem like it though. We are quite passionate about the things we want, and not wanting to muck about with the work that goes into networking or risk giving someone the wrong idea that we care about them, we could come off as manipulative, but most socially woke INTJs won't have this trait.
3. Narcissistic
Is it narcissistic to believe you're better than everyone else? Well... yes.
But, those of you who have been around for a while will remember that I wrote an article about whether or not INTJs are narcissists. I'm not going to go into that article in detail, you can read it for yourself, but while I did have some of the signs of a narcissist, true, clinical narcissism, I actually scored lower than the average range on. We may think ourselves superior, but not so superior that we think our sh*t doesn't stink.
4. Emotional Detachment
Many would argue that INTJs are emotionally detached. This is kind of true, depending on the circumstances and the individual INTJ, but for most of us, we're not emotionally detached so much as we are emotionally guarded. We put up a front of detachment so as to prevent ourselves from being hurt or manipulated. It is also possible for an INTJ to be personally upset, but to carry on professionally as if nothing happened--we don't cry in public. And we do have a sense of empathy and sympathy, but it is tempered by a rather strong sense of logic. So we only seem detached.
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| Ever heard the phrase, "if it bleeds, we can kill it?" Well, if it feels, it can probably cry. |
5. Compulsive Lying
INTJs don't lie. We may not always tell the whole truth, but we never lie. And even if we do, it's not compulsive, it's highly pre-meditated and well thought out, well ahead of time. Not to mention, compulsive liars get caught all the time. When an INTJ lies, we do it like we're telling the truth, which is to say, we never get caught.
6. Reckless Attitude
Reckless? Psh! INTJs don't do anything reckless. Even when we do something reckless, we thought about it first. We pre-meditate our recklessness. Plus, this trait is "reckless attitude"--an INTJ's attitude could not be defined as reckless by any stretch of the imagination. We're the most careful and calculating bunch of mofos you'll ever see.
7. Quick to Anger
I used to be quite quick to anger. I think I may have been a rage-aholic. Either that or I just liked being angry. It felt good. I felt powerful. I felt validated, like I was right and everyone else was wrong. Looking back though, I think that might be an oversimplification. I don't know if I was ever really angry. Could've just been angst.
However, looking at now and INTJs in general, it's generally agreed upon that INTJs have a long fuse, not a short one. We're actually incredibly patient despite the fact that we don't like people and we're easily annoyed. But annoyance and dislike of people isn't anger. Anger is a very specific emotion, and it's one that we don't feel that often. Even if something upsets us, due to our emotional guards, we're not likely to be angry so much as we are just upset which is more of a feeling of sadness and regret. So, we're not angry, and we're not quick to it.
Conclusion
Looking back over this list, it's immediately apparent, that INTJs are not sociopaths. We can be mistaken for sociopaths in the shallowest respects, but dig a little deeper, and INTJs are not sociopaths in any regard. But what about psychopaths?
"I'm a psychopath, but I don't have a problem with that."
--James Marsters
So to tell whether or not I'm a psychopath, I actually have a little test here from Healthy Place. They put out an article called "20 Signs You're With a Psychopath or You Are a Psychopath." The test is twenty questions/scenarios and you score yourself on a scale of 0 to 2. 0 is you don't have that trait or you don't do that thing, 1 is you do it sometimes, and 2 is you do it all the time. You then total up your score and take it out of 40. If you score higher than 30, I've got some bad news for you.
For my test, not only will I give my score, but I'll give a non-INTJ perspective score, and I'll explain why it seems like INTJs have certain behaviors on this list.
1. Do you shrug off important subjects with glibness? Do you exhibit superficial charm?
No INTJ ever shrugs off anything important. Hell, INTJs aren't likely to know what glibness is unless we're using it to criticize our beloved ENFPs with. And the only time I ever exhibit superficial charm is when I'm on stage because I know have to be charming and entertaining, so I don't think that counts, especially if I end up being charming and entertaining.
INTJ: 0
N/INTJ: 0
2. Are you self-centered with an inflated sense of self?
This one I've already encountered and dealt with above. But a non-INTJ might have a different perspective on the matter.
INTJ: 0-1
N/INTJ: 1-2
3. Do you need stimulation constantly or from more extreme experiences?
Psh! INTJs don't need stimulation at all. Everything is up in our brains. We're one of the few people that can sit quietly, do nothing, and be thoroughly entertained. As for "more extreme experiences," well, we're certainly not thrill seekers if that's what you mean.
INTJ: 0
N/INTJ: 0
4. Do you lie to your partner or others?
Already dealt with above.
INTJ: 0
N/INTJ: 0
5. Do you con or manipulate your partner or others?
Already dealt with above. Well, from the INTJ perspective anyway. I have no idea what an non-INTJ would say here. But, I'm going to bet that people think we're psychopaths because of our emotional detachment and not because we have a reputation for manipulation. Which we don't.
INTJ: 0
N/INTJ: 0
6. Do you show a lack of guilt and/or remorse when you hurt someone?
Actually, INTJs can show quite a bit of guilt and remorse for hurting someone. It bothers us years and years after the fact. Especially if the person was/is important to us. No apology can ever express how sorry we are. However, there are some times when we can be cold and don't give a f*ck. But in those cases, we're not trying to hurt someone, we're just being who we are. So, I don't know how to score that, but I'll score heavily on this just to be on the safe side.
INTJ: 1
N/INTJ: 2
7. Do you appear to have only shallow feelings or feel things superficially?
INTJs either feel something or they don't. There really isn't an in-between here. There have been times in the past when I've tried to hype myself up by trying to feel things like other people felt them, but I couldn't pull it off, so I don't know how to score that. As for non-INTJs, most probably think we don't have any feelings, so I think this is goose eggs all around.
INTJ: 0
N/INTJ: 0
8. Do you have trouble empathizing with the pain of others? Are you callous towards others?
Isn't this the same sh*t as in #6? I guess there is a small difference in that this is empathy and not guilt or remorse. In which case, I have dealt with this above in my sociopath examination.
INTJ: 0-1
N/INTJ: 1-2
9. Are you in relationships where you use others (i.e. parasitic relationships)?
No. And again, I don't think non-INTJs think we have this quality either.
INTJ: 0
N/INTJ: 0
10. Do you have poor control over your behavior?
F*ck no! If anything, we're too controlled.
INTJ: 0
N/INTJ: 0
11. Do you display promiscuous sexual behavior?
Well, this is really something that relates to an individual and not to the whole personality. Although, in Heidi Priebe's article about the sexuality of the types, 50% of INTJs said they didn't care for the hook-up culture, and another 48% said they were on the fence about it. So INTJs aren't very likely to be promiscuous. And, I'll go a step further and say that INTJs are very unlikely to ever display promiscuity out in public.
INTJ: 0
N/INTJ: 0
12. Did you have behavioral problems early in childhood?
I'm not entirely sure what they mean by "behavioral problems." Do they mean misbehaving, or something more serious? I don't know, so I'm going to score high, just to be on the safe side.
INTJ: 1
N/INTJ: 1
13. Do you have a hard time making realistic, long-term goals?
Psh! INTJs always plan from the perspective of eternity. Plus, we really don't like change. After all, what do you think that J at the end of your type is doing there? Holding down the T?
INTJ: 0
N/INTJ: 0
14. Are you impulsive?
Again, already dealt with. Even when being impulsive, we've actually thought it out.
INTJ: 0
N/INTJ: 0
15. Are you irresponsible?
Psh!
INTJ: 0
N/INTJ: 0
16. Do you refuse to accept responsibly?
Isn't this the same thing as #15? But unlike numbers 6 and 8, I can't split any hairs here.
INTJ: 0
N/INTJ: 0
17. Have you had many marital or significant relationships?
Hmm... I know I haven't. And generally, I would think that most INTJs haven't either. Again, Judging types.
INTJ: 0
N/INTJ: 0
18. Were you a juvenile delinquent?
Nope. And it would be really difficult for most people to see the average INTJ as being a juvenile delinquent. I stress average because most villains in movies are INTJs, but they're far from being the average, healthy, or mature INTJ.
INTJ: 0
N/INTJ: 0
19. Have you ever been on parole and had that parole revoked?
No. And again, the average INTJ wouldn't have parole revoked either. He would take that sh*t seriously.
INTJ: 0
N/INTJ: 0
20. Are you a criminal in many areas (a versatile criminal)?
Again, speaking averages here, no.
INTJ: 0
N/INTJ: 0
TOTAL:
INTJ: 2-4
N/INTJ: 5-7
So, looking at these total scores right here, it's quite obvious that INTJs are not psychopaths. Not even a little bit. Remember, this score is out of 40 and requires as least 30 to be considered a psychopath.
And I'm not even going to beat around the bush here, I'm just going to give you guys the results from my antisocial personality disorder test. (Take it here.)
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| Screencap'd straight from the site. |
Another one I took issue with was "I want to become a millionaire as quickly as possible and I'll do so by any means." Number one, who the f*ck doesn't want to be a millionaire as quickly/soon as possible. That's f*cking stupid to ask. Number two, if I "strongly disagree" with the second part of the statement, does that mean I "disagree" with the whole statement or that I "strongly disagree?" I had no idea how to score myself on that.
Anyway, it doesn't matter since I'm over 25. Plus, while I have some of the symptoms of antisocial personality disorder, I also only have some of the traits of sociopaths, psychopaths, and narcissists, but everyone has some of these traits. So then, that begs a question: how do INTJs get saddled with these labels?
I think the fundamental problem is that people don't know what a psychopath or sociopath truly is. People only know about the lack of emotion and assume that's all there is. They also probably only see the lack of remorse or guilt on the outside of an INTJ and assume it isn't there. What with being introverts and all, we're not likely to show such things, and since people can only judge what they experience (see), they make mistakes in their judgment.
The other thing I should point out is that personality and behavioral disorders affect a person, not a personality type. It is completely possible to be an ENFP, INFP, ESFP, or ISFJ and still suffer from a disorder. In fact, if you suffer from one of the disorders above, it's possible your MBTI result can be thrown off since who you inherently are is "damaged" or off.
Ergo, I have no other choice but to conclude that INTJs are not psychopaths or sociopaths. They might suffer from antisocial personality disorder, but I think it quite unlikely.
Alright, you guys. That will do it for now. I'm not sure what I'm going to write for next time, but I feel a little rant-y. Of course though, this will be an INTJ rant so it will be well thought out and orderly. And I think the topic I'll be covering is friends and friendships. If I don't do that, then I'll write a post about INTJs and their relationship with sports.
Another thing I wanted to mention is that I'm finally getting serious about that t-shirt idea I had. But bloody hell! There is a lot more to this than I expected. If everything goes smoothly, I hope to have my first designs ready to launch by April. So, be on the look out for that. And, until next week...
Keep writing, my friends.
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