Ten Ways I'm Totally An INTJ

Hey, everyone.

So, my blog post last week on the Five Ways I Buck the INTJ Stereotype was quite popular. It got 245 views which I wasn't expecting. Unfortunately, I don't know if it was liked because no left a comment. Anyway, for this week's post, I've decided to go over ten ways that I am totally the stereotypical INTJ. Let's get to it.

1. Surprisingly Rebellious

I'm not very outgoing. Of course I'm not, I'm an INTJ. But, sometimes, I do take on the role of a rebel without a cause. When someone tells me something like "everyone's doing it," I tend to get fired up because 1. I don't care, and 2. I am not everyone. Once upon a time, I cared what the group was doing, but through my formative years as a teenager, I learned how much of an outcast I really was. Hell, even in my own circle of friends I'm the damn outsider. It's easy not to give a damn about the Joneses when they cut you out. And so, as a result, sometimes you just need to rebel to be a smartass.

Well, it's actually a control thing. INTJ's get very irritated when people try to manipulate them or tell them what they need. Really? You know what I need better than myself? Ergo, to show you can't be controlled, you rebel. Just don't make a habit of it because some people are smart enough to pick up on the pattern and will use it to control you.

2. Superiority Complex

"Some men think they're God--this one just happens to be right."

That's a quote from the 2001 remake of the comedy Bedazzled. (The original was better.) But, it does illustrate a good point about INTJ's. We may not think we're God, but we do definitely think ourselves generally "better" or more highly evolved than other people. I once had a conversation with a female friend of mine, a Sensing sort of girl, sometime before I discovered I was an INTJ. I confessed I didn't feel like a normal man, that I was something "higher." She accused me of thinking I was an angel. Now, of course, I don't think that. Growing up in the Catholic Church, I have a very strict definition of what an angel should be, and since I didn't know anything about MBTI at the time, I didn't know how to respond to her. Another time, I looked in the mirror one day and asked her if she thought I had a big head; she asked for clarification. I was kind of hurt by that because I generally don't think of myself as arrogant, but I do still think of myself as being "higher" than the average person.

3. Immutable Principles

Whether it comes from the Catholic background or because I don't like change, I definitely have immutable principles. On the one hand, it keeps my nose clean. On the other hand, it makes life kind of difficult or even annoying. There are times when it would be easier to say, "Aw, f*ck it. I don't feel like doing that." But then my sense of justice and ethics goes, "You were raised better than this. You know the difference between good and bad, moral and immoral, virtuous and complacent. You have no other choice, unless you want to look like the other vulgar scum walking the streets." And it's like, damn! Guilted into following my own rigid code of ethics by my own superiority complex. That's the problem with having a conscience.

But, like I said, having good, clean morals and strong ethics has kept my nose clean, and as I result, I don't have a lot of the problems some people my age do. I may give off a 1950's nerdy, straight laced feeling, but you can't complain about the fact that there's nothing to complain about.

4. Constant Improvement

In my last post, I talked about how I don't give a sh*t about the relentless improvement of technology. But, one thing I can't stand is mediocrity in myself, especially since I started working out. My whole perspective on the world and people has changed somewhat, especially when it comes to looking for a suitable mate. At one time, I accepted girls with a few extra pounds and girls who weren't necessarily virgins, you know, because being 28 in this modern world, you can't dependably expect to find a girl who is still a virgin at that age.

But, after working out regularly for the past three-and-a-half months, being on a diet, losing 23 lbs, and holding onto my maiden virtue all this time, I don't accept chubby girls anymore, and I've renewed my intentions of finding a virgin. If I'm going to hold myself to a higher standard, why should I accept someone who doesn't? Because it's judgmental? Oh, boo-f*cking-hoo. You don't want to be judged negatively, don't be a piece of sh*t.

5. Connections

I have OCD. Specifically, germ-a-phobia. I was always OCD to some extent as a child, but when I got into high school, I started noticing things. I started paying attention to what people touched and then what they touched after. As a result, I became very OCD in a short amount of time, and it pit me against my family which was very difficult for my mother and sister, two people I never used to recoil from and avoid all physical contact with.

I thought my ability to make connections and notice patterns was a side effect of my OCD because neither my mother nor sister seemed capable of noticing such things. However, I know my father notices patterns almost as fast as I do, and my brother does too, but to a much lesser extent. Also, I am able to make connections between two seemingly unrelated things, like art and science. I see the science in the art, and the art in the science. In my latter years of high school and starting out at college, I came to appreciate every school subject regardless of what it was because I knew it could be useful to me in some way, shape, or form. At the time, I thought it was because I was pursuing writing as a career, and you never know what you'll end up using or how. But these days, I see how the areas of study affect each other. I see the symbiotic relationship between them. Everything is connected to everything else.

6. Life Bores Me

Remember my Sensing friend? She's very grounded. She loves going outside, she does things, she's a nurse, and for whatever reason, she thinks I'm smarter than her. I maintain that I'm not; she just has a different sort of intelligence. For example: she can spank me good at Scrabble which may sound funny because I'm a writer with a huge vocabulary. But when I play Scrabble, instead of looking at what I can do, I focus on what I could do... if conditions were right. I have the same problem playing Chess and Magic: The Gathering. Magic is especially the tricky one, because instead of building a deck that wins, I build decks that I think would make epic wins. You'd think the conditions would be the same, but strangely they're not. And that's why I don't like regular, everyday life. It's so mundane. Where's the magic? Where's the fantasy? Why can't dragons exist? Although, on a serious note, if dragons did exist, things probably would super suck. Playing Skyrim enlightened me to that perspective.

But, because life is so boring, that's one of the reasons why I became a writer. If I can't have a wondrous life, I'll live a wondrous life vicariously through a fictional story. Some people may argue that if I stopped being an INTJ and became something like an ENFP or ESFP, I could have an exciting and entertaining life. But at those times when I consider having such a life, I realize that sometimes I just prefer to sit alone in the shade and be alone with my thoughts rather than doing something crazy. Besides, why would I want to meet super models or go skydiving when in my mind I could meet super hot, vampire chicks or explore ancient castles? Plus, some people just suck, and in my imagination, I can give them their comeuppance.

7. Cool Outside, Hot Inside

INTJ's have a reputation for being cool and calm on the outside, but being very passionate on the inside. I'm no exception unless I get into an argument with a close friend. Then I can become hopping mad.

"That's the raging volcano?"
"Maybe he gets hopping mad."

But, it's true. Stress doesn't really get to me, and even when in stressful situations, I do have an outwardly calm appearance. It can give off the impression that I'm apathetic, but have a look inside my mind, and things are quite different. Once I was talking to a girl that I thought would become my girlfriend. Well, somehow I tripped her insecurities, and she went from being a possible girlfriend to talking about being just friends. It was an instant switch. At first, I was confused, but then I was angry for the next two to three hours by the sudden upset. While my mind was raging, all I did was pace the kitchen back and forth. Another example is just like how I mentioned that regular life bores me. You see me going for a leisurely stroll down the street or sitting somewhere off by myself, but the whole time, an epic story is playing out inside my mind the likes of which rivals Tolkien's Lord of the Rings.

It's been said that while INTJ's are very placid on the outside, we're actually super passionate on the inside, and that we don't really do anything we don't enjoy. That's quite true. People may associate the color blue with my personality, but my favorite color is red because it is the color of passion. And it goes well with black.

8. Jack of All Trades

You ever see that quote or meme that lists off all the things a person should be capable of doing, and then saying that specialization for insects? Or, if you're a writer or a blogger, you've probably heard that in order to be successful as a writer, but especially as a blogger, you need to pick a niche and stick to it. I say that's crapola.

While I may think myself a master writer, I have many wide and varied interests. I believe in being a Renaissance man. I have an interest in science, math, philosophy, history, and art. I prefer to shoot archery, but I will also play basketball. I'd like to know how to sew, and I'd love to be able to make my own quilts, but I do have the makings of a petrol head. And while I may be introverted, I do have an interest in dancing.

My shuffling ain't so bad.

See, the way I get around the whole niche thing is that I say "My niche is that I'm Bryan C. Laesch. Anything that has to do with me is my niche." But, really, I don't have a niche. Hell, when I hopped onto Twitter, I took the user name BryanofAllTrade in reference to the fact that I am a jack of all trades. (I didn't put an "S" at the end because I ran out of spaces.) My three most marketable skills are writing and editing, dog training, and tutoring foreign language. True, foreign language and writing are related, and dog training and tutoring are related, but they are unique enough to cause people to stop and wonder how the hell I got such talents.

And, of course, it all goes back to writing. While my magnum opus may be a modern Gothic Epic, I have written a fantasy novel. I've written a Shakespearean play. I'm going to write a sci-fi novel, and in a bid to expand my audience, I'm going to self-publish a book of poetry and a compilation of romance stories. Not simply because I want to expand my audience, but because I have a genuine interest in these genres. Hell, I even had an idea for a series of children's books. The point is, through writing, I am able to explore all these different subjects and interests. And if they bring me a few dollars, why the f*ck not?!

9. Pointless Secrets

Despite how forthright I am in my writing, I'm a very private person at home. I don't like divulging what it is that I'm doing. Somebody asks me what I'm up to, and I'll deflect the question or lie just because I'm mildly embarrassed about watching an rom-com anime. I could just say I'm watching anime, but then that leads to questions. Questions like what's it called, what's it about, who are the characters, etc. And some of these things just aren't worth going over. They're pointless and nobody needs to know them. So, if someone catches me doing something mildly embarrassing, I tend to deflect the situation even though it would just be easier to come clean. But, like I said, people don't need to know.

10. Death Glare

If you look at INTJ's in media, they tend to be depicted as being bored out of their minds. Not me. I have a resting bitch face. My mother has even told me I scowl, and my cousin's girlfriend told me I always look pissed off. I'm not; it's just my face. Besides, if I'm not happy, why the hell should I smile? Don't people smile to show they're happy?

But besides that, I do have the dreaded INTJ death glare. Irritate me or piss me off, and my eyes burn a whole right through soul and fill you with such an intense feeling of dread, I've actually made people retreat. When I was in the eighth grade, a girl in my class said something stupid, I gave her a mild form of the death glare, and she responded with, "Bryan, you always look like you want to kill me." At the time I thought she was being harsh, but I'm glad the death glare is in my repertoire. You never know when you might need it.

And so, that concludes the Ten Ways I'm Totally An INTJ. While writing this piece, I had a few ah-ha moments and realized several more ways I'm the typical INTJ and untypical INTJ. I intend to write those eventually, but next week, I'm going to cover the INTJ mystique. I'm not a hundred percent sure what I mean by that, but it will be a sort of breakdown of what it means to be an INTJ in a bid to help younger or newer INTJ's realize why they're so special. If you don't want to miss it, follow me on Facebook or subscribe to this blog. And, if you want more info on INTJ's, get the book The True INTJ by Truity. Until then...

Keep writing, my friends.

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How to Use Tarot to Write A Story

Hey, everyone.

So, while I was perusing Pinterest, I came across two images that used Tarot card spreads in order to create a character and build story. So, I'm going to test this out for you and see how it comes out. I'm going to be using Nordic runes and Tarot just for some variety. But, just so you know, there are typically 78 cards to a Tarot deck and there are only 24 or 25 runes per set, so the runes are more likely to repeat. I also chose to let inverted/reversed runes and cards affect my interpretation. And to distance myself from their pagan origins, I'll be calling my runes by their 4th century Gothic names instead of their original names.

All right, let's get started.

7-Card Story Starter

Runes:

1. Dynamic Character: Inverted Uraz (Challenge)
2. Fatal Flaw: Fe (Abundance)
3. Battle Opponents: Gaar (Harvest Time)
4. External Conflicts: Eyz (Movement)
5. Interpersonal Conflicts: Inverted Bern (Birthing)
6. Internal Conflicts: Waer (Transition)
7. Desired Goal: Sugil (The Divine Source)

Analysis:

So, looking at the runes, there are something interesting things here. For the character, I got an Uraz rune which means "challenge," but it was inverted which actually means a really rough challenge or "being gored in the game of life." The others aren't that difficult to figure out, but the one that's got me confused is that battle opponents came out as Gaar, which is a rune that typically references the harvest and includes themes like "time to grow," richness or ripeness, the fertile season, and festivity. Now, I have no idea how to write bad guys who represent such things unless I interpret things loosely. So, what do we have then?

Story:

A man who has had a difficult life is seeking a relationship with God. But, he has a problem: he's a miser who has collected an immense wealth and knows that if he wants to be closer to God, he has to get rid of his money. But, things become dire for him when his adversary, a crooked accountant, sends mercenaries after him to collect a "fee." To add to that, the man is a paraplegic and can only get around by wheelchair. Meanwhile, his wife is threatening to leave him if he gives up his money and abort his first child. All of these problems stem from the fact that he wants to make a change in his life from being material to being ascetic.

Story Analysis:

Sounds like it might make a decent drama, maybe even an action film. And what I ended up doing was interpreting the baddies as being "harvesters" with the whole idea of them coming to collect a non-existent fee. I decided to put him in a wheelchair to show off how challenging his life has been already. One could argue that his life is about to get really challenging with everything going on around, but I wanted a more direct interpretation of Uraz.

Alright, let's look at the Tarot cards I got.

Tarot:

1. Dynamic Character: Inverted Four of Swords (Recuperation)
2. Fatal Flaw: Nine of Pentacles (Gain)
3. Battle Opponents: The Devil (Material Bondage)
4. External Conflicts: Six of Wands (Victory)
5. Interpersonal Conflicts: Inverted Three of Swords (Sorrow)
6. Internal Conflicts: Nine of Cups (Happiness)
7. Desired Goal: Six of Pentacles (Success)

Analysis:

For the most part, this seems like a straightforward enough reading. But, the problem comes when we introduce those inverted cards. It's easy to assume that inverted or reversed cards or runes mean the exact opposite, but that isn't always true. Looking at the reversed Three of Swords, that means something along the lines of "a conversation that needs to happen," or "the revelation of a painful truth." And then, a reversed Four of Swords means "restlessness" or "burn-out," which unfortunately sort of contradicts what I just said about how a card upside-down doesn't just mean the opposite.

Course though, what you could do is say phooey to all that reversed business and only accept your cards or runes right side up. But, just for fun, let's try it with the reversed meanings.

Story:

Our character is burnt out on life because he's constantly seeking gain, he wants to be a success because he has a strong desire for nice things and possessions. He's constantly looking for a victory here or there, but is always unable to, and he's never happy with himself or his life. To make matters worse, his boss is hiding something from him that could make or break his future.

                                                                

Story Analysis:

Honestly, this one was easier to write because the factors are so interwoven. Unfortunately, because they're so interwoven, it's difficult to give them all their own distinction in the story. Basically, it's a story of a greedy bastard looking for his big break that get him whatever he wants. Do I really need a paragraph to put that together? No. The other problem with this story idea is that it is only the premise of the story and not much of a story by itself. I know the spread is called "Story Starter," but sometimes a book's premise is the easiest thing to come up with, and writers don't really need help with that.

Character Profile

All right, so the first one was more for a story starter, possibly the blurb/teaser you put on your book to make it sale. Sort of like a trailer for a movie. This next spread is more designed to build a character rather than to set a story.

Runes:

1. Hero: Inverted Utal (Home)
2. Outward Quality: Sugil (The Divine Source)
3. Inward Quality: Iiz (Danger)
4. Goal: Inverted Chosma (Flame)
5. Motivation: Fe (Abundance)
6. Stakes: Bern (Birthing)
7. Flaw or Need: Aza on its side pointing right (Breath [as in communication or from God])
8. Source of Flaw: Giwa (Exchange)
9. How the Flaw Affects the Goal: Waer (Transition)

Analysis:

At first look, none of these are all that confusing until you get to #7. Some of you may be wondering what the hell I mean by "on its side pointing right." Well, I used to read runes, and the way I practiced, I allowed for reversed runes and runes on their side. For runes on their sides, I read ones pointing left as being mostly reversed, and those pointing right, I read as mostly right side up.

So, what do we have?

Story:

Our hero is an outcast who seems very religious, almost like a cleric, priest, or monk, but he's either got a dark side, or he's a thrill seeker. Going with the idea he's got a dark side, his goal is to burn or destroy someone else because he's been promised a huge reward. If he doesn't, there's a possibility that an evil child will be born, but there's a problem: he can't really communicate with his god to finish his mission because the last item he offered as a sacrifice to his god was rejected, ergo he has difficulty trusting his god that doing this mission will result in his being reconciled and he's thinking of abandoning his faith.

Story Analysis:

This idea was interesting to start off with because he sounded like a good guy, but he may have actually been a bad guy. But, because the stakes surround a birthing, he could be a good guy who gets things done the wrong way, like a lot of 80's fantasy action heroes. So, I thought that this might make for an interesting fantasy story with a lot of grey morality. It actually sounds like the typical anti-hero story. I might bookmark this idea for later.



Tarot:

1. Hero: The World (Completion with the Universe)
2. Outward Quality: Ace of Swords (Seed of Victory)
3. Inward Quality: Inverted Four of Cups (Luxury)
4. Goal: Inverted High Priestess (Wisdom)
5. Motivation: Page/Jack of Wands (Exploration or Discovery)
6. Stakes: Judgment (Facing the Facts of Life)
7. Flaw or Need: Inverted Six of Pentacles (Success)
8. Source of Flaw: The Devil (Material Bondage)
9. How the Flaw Affects the Goal: Nine of Swords (Cruelty)

Analysis:

For this one, I said screw the potentiality of the reversed cards meaning a whole bunch of stuff, and I just decided to wing it. So, I'm going to read reversed Four of Cups, High Priestess, and Six of Pentacles as being the opposite of what they mean when they're right side up.

Story:

This guy is very similar to the guy from the rune reading and the other Tarot reading. He's a monk who lives as an ascetic. There's a mystic aura to him; when people meet him, they get the feeling he's destined for greatness, but he shuns the claims because he knows that greatness can lead to luxury, but as an ascetic, he's always uncomfortable when in luxury. Meanwhile, he's on an adventure to find a mystic artifact because he wants to hide it away from the world thinking it's dangerous for other people to have it as it may reveal some knowledge about the world that the world doesn't need. His flaw however is that he could definitely fail because luxury makes him uncomfortable because it's something that tempts him away from his proper path. As result, he seeks his goal with a tenacity and fervor that borders on mania, and he can be quite short with people who get in his way.

Story Analysis:

So, again, just like the rune reading, many of these elements stepped on each other's toes. Personally, I don't think you need to lay out a character's motivation if he has a goal because the goal should be the motivation. Sure, you can want to save the world because you want to save your family, but you're also saving the whole world. You can have a goal and a motivation, but it isn't necessary. And, the stakes should be obvious from what the goal is; you fail the goal, the stakes happen.

And then, looking at the character's qualities, those can very easily coincide with or be the same as the character's flaw. But I will admit that source of the flaw and how the flaw affects the goal are definitely interesting separate qualities that can add a layer of dimension to the story that many writers may not have thought about.

But, anyway, this story again strikes me as a fantasy story due to its themes and the character I got.

Overall Analysis:

I think the first method is much more streamlined; it's sort of like the abridged version of the second method. And, while they did turn out some interesting possibilities in character and story, I wouldn't rely totally on this method to create a story, or at the very least, to make a novel. I want a bit more control over my novel's story. But, both methods can help the writer think about virtues, vices, and character traits that a writer may not have thought of. Plus, you can choose to use what you want.

In conclusion, I may still use these methods to craft a story, but I'll keep my final say in what happens, and the story I create will be more along the lines of a short story rather than one of my precious novels. In general, I think both methods are somewhat useful, and I prefer the second method, but they're both fun. I encourage you to try them out for yourself and see what you get.

Keep writing, my friends.

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RWBY: The Novelization: The First Step

Ruby was catapulted into the air. The feeling of the wind ripping past her face and the sight of the forest expanding out under her was exhilarating. Until she crashed into a tiny fowl.

“Birdie! No!”

But she quickly got over it realizing the bird to be a Nevermore. A small flock was coming right at her. She took out Crescent Rose and opened it into its rifle configuration and started firing.

Once the Nevermores had been dealt with, she began to fall. Ruby saw a high tree branch on a direct course with her. She opened her scythe and used its blade to swing around dispensing of her excess fall energy before dropping to the forest floor.

She burst into a run and the only thing on her mind was finding Yang. Ozpin’s proposal that she be partners with the first person she made eye contact with was highly unusual and didn’t seem fair at all. Weren’t you supposed to make regular eye contact with people when you met them? So why force partners based on a social norm?

In case she didn’t run into Yang, Ruby started ticking off all the people she knew. “Well, there’s always Jaune. He’s nice. He’s funny. But I don’t think he’s very good in a fight,” she said, imagining Jaune being eaten by Beowolves.

“Oh! What about Blake? So mysterious; so calm. Plus she reads books! Then again, I’m not sure I would be able to hold a conversation with her.” Ruby could just imagine Blake trying to back away from her.

“Okay. Who else do I know in this school? There’s Yang, Jaune, Blake, and…”

Ruby saw someone in the distance and skidded to a halt right behind them—it was her worst nightmare. And to Ruby’s dismay, Ruby was also Weiss’ worst nightmare.

Once Weiss saw her, they made eye contact.

Weiss quickly walked off in the other direction.

“Wait!” called Ruby. And then to the ground disheartened, “We’re supposed to be teammates.”

Weiss however wouldn’t hear of it. She preferred to trip through the underbrush to find someone else. After a few seconds though, she came to a large tree. She heard someone struggling and looked up. How had that idiot Jaune managed to land safely? He hadn’t. Weiss quickly recognized Pyrrha Nikos’ spear in the top of his hoodie securing him to the trunk of tree.

Jaune looked down and pathetically waved at her hoping for some help.

Weiss was between a rock and a hard place. Given those options, she went with the lesser of two evils and turned back to Ruby.

“You came back!” cheered Ruby.

“By no means does this make us friends,” said Weiss as she grabbed Ruby by the shoulder and dragged her the other way.

Jaune shouted, “Hey! Come back! Who’s going to get me down from here?”

“Jaune?” called a lilting, feminine voice.

He looked down at Pyrrha.

“Do have any spots left on your team?”

“Very funny,” said Jaune, crossing his arms. After a moment though, he looked at her sideways and smiled.

Pyrrha smirked back at him.

As Weiss continued to drag Ruby through the forest, Ruby was forced to ask, “What’s the hurry?”

“I will not let my mission be delayed because you’re too slow. I swear, if I get a bad grade because—”

Suddenly, there was a mad brush of wind and Ruby appeared in front of Weiss pawing the air.

“I’m not slow!” bragged Ruby. “You don’t have to worry about me.” Her semblance was in fact speed.

“Wait. What the—?”

 “Weiss, just because I don’t know how to exactly deal with people, doesn’t mean that I don’t know how to deal with monsters. You’re gonna see a whole different side to me today.”

Ruby threw her arm around Weiss’ shoulders. “And after it’s all over, you’re gonna be like, ‘Wow, that Ruby girl is really, really cool. And I wanna be her friend.’” Ruby zipped off again. For some reason, rose petals were kicked up in her wake.

“You may be fast,” called Weiss, “but you still excel at wasting time.”

                                                                         

Suddenly, there was a growl.

Weiss looked nervous and could feel dozens of eyes on her. “Ruby?”

No answer.

“Ruby?” she said more quietly.

Just then, a large Beowolf jumped out of the bushes.

“Ruby!”

The pack surrounded Weiss before she could act.

Without Ruby around, Weiss would have to hold them on her own. She slowed her breathing, drew Myrtenaster, her multi-action Dust rapier, and tried to remember her training.

“Head up, shoulders back, left foot forward—not that forward!” She drew her foot back a little. “Wait for the right time to strike, and…”

Myrtenaster possessed a revolving cylinder, much like any revolver. It rotated to fire Dust and Weiss pulled a trigger filling the blade with it. She charged.

But before she could land a hit, Ruby materialized in front of her and slew a Beowolf.

Weiss panicked, and tripped trying to stop. She waved her blade wildly and a streak of fire was expelled from Myrtenaster. It shot forward and hit a large tree setting it ablaze.

Ruby glanced back at her.

Another Beowolf took advantage of her split attention and whacked her into Weiss.

“Hey! Watch it.”

“Excuse me!” said Weiss. “You attacked out of turn. I could’ve killed you.” She seemed rather lax about it.

“You’ll have to try a lot harder than that.”

Ruby rearmed Crescent Rose with a fresh magazine and prepared to face the pack which had now turned into a horde.

But then the flaming tree fell and Weiss had a different idea.

“We have to leave!”

She grabbed Ruby and ran just as the grass erupted in a huge conflagration. The infuriated howls of the Beowolves could be heard for miles.

Once at a safe distance, Ruby turned on Weiss. “What was that?! That should’ve been easy!”

“Well perhaps, if you had exercised the slightest amount of caution with the placement of your strikes, I wouldn’t have set the forest on fire!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“I’m just surprised that someone who talks so much can communicate so little during an encounter.”

“Well, I’m sorry that you need my help to win a fight. I’m just fine on my own.”

“Well congratulations on being the strongest child to sneak your way into Beacon. Bravo,” said Weiss, leaving.

Ruby was so annoyed with Weiss she took out Crescent Rose and cut down a nearby tree with a single slash.

She begrudgingly followed Weiss as a giant black feather flittered down to the forest floor behind her.
 
 

Crypto Theory: Are Cryptids Extraterrestrials?

Hey, everyone.

So, unless I can think of something else to do or say on the origin and species of cryptids, I think this will be the last one I'm going to write for now. Crypto Theory will still be around, but the origin theories of cryptids might be gone for a while.

Also, I want to remind you all of my book Tales of Horror: Macabre Monsters of Michigan. I'm still in the middle of edits right now and pestering my Old Man for his review. But, if you don't care about those things, then buy it today. The prices are still $.99 for Kindle and $4.99 for paperback.

Anyway, for this week's post of Crypto Theory, I'm looking at the theory of...

That's right. Are cryptids extraterrestrials? Are they aliens from another planet? Sounds strange, but there is some evidence and witness testimony to suggest just that. Let's take a look at some of it.

Exhibit A: MIB's Be Creeping

Sometimes when a cryptid sighting is reported, it isn't unusual for Men in Black, usually associated with UFO phenomenon, to be seen immediately after. We're all familiar with how nefarious the MIB's stalked people during the Mothman incident, but there are stories of the MIB's being around during other times. In Nick Refern's book Three Men Seeking Monsters, he tells of a witness who saw a cryptid while camping up in the mountains one day. Immediately after, three men in black suits, which were ill chosen clothes for the environment, appeared They asked the witness if he saw anything strange a few minutes ago. The witness answered in the negative and the MIB's told him they might be by later to ask him some more questions. They never did.

In the episode "Wilderness: UFO Bigfoot, Lake Pepin Monster, Cajun Werewolf" from Monsters and Mysteries in America, there's tell of an unusual tale where several teens saw illuminated Sasquatches that they claimed were from outer space. And then, I don't remember if it was the same episode or not, but there was an episode where a Bigfoot had tried to leech power from a trailer park home's generator. A boy took a picture of a footprint left by the beast, and suddenly an MIB appeared in front of him. The MIB took the picture from the boy and then rubbed out the footprint with his own shoe. The MIB then reportedly disappeared.

So, next time you see something strange and a man in a black suit suddenly appears, think twice about what you tell him.

You might want to be especially
discretionary when these two role up.

Exhibit B: Lizardman and the Reptoids

When it comes to aliens and extraterrestrials, everyone is familiar with the Greys: little grey men with huge heads and big, black eyes. But, what some people may not know is that there are different kinds of aliens seen all over the world. Some report aliens with blonde hair, blue eyes, and flawless skin with a beauty that is otherworldly, some report seeing aliens that look like a hybrid between Greys and humans, but one of the most popular is the Reptoids.

I can't say much about the Reptoids other than they match descriptions of Lizardmen. But, in an episode of Animal X: Natural Mystery Unit, "Lizardmen, Reptilian Creatures, & Alien Abductions," they discuss the possibility that Lizardmen are from outer space. In this particular episode, they talk to two supposed alien abductees, one who claims to heal people with alien energies and can even speak their language. They also interview a therapist who works as an alien abductee counselor helping people come to terms with their close encounters of the third kind. According to the therapist, reptilian ET's are common sightings and she says the face that people are left with PTSD afterward shows that the witnesses are being honest.

Exhibit C: Dogman

Doubtlessly, many of you are skeptical that your beloved Dogman could be an alien. But according to one witness in Linda Godfrey's Real Wolfmen, that's exactly what they are. In 2005, she was contacted by a man who had received training in remote viewing, a psychic ability that allows people to see others from great distances, and sometimes, from other times. According to the man, before humans arrived on Earth, a werewolf-like alien species visited Earth and left its commandos behind waiting for the time when humanity destroys itself.

Now, while this is certainly an interesting theory, there are some problems with the story. For one thing, Linda lost contact with the witness because he said the Dogmen found out about his remote viewing, and they believed turnabout is fair play, so he stopped. Another issue is that he claims the Dogmen he saw were of the Anubis variety, which isn't a very popular one. But, what really shoots hole in this story is that if the Dogmen aliens landed on Earth at a time before humans were the dominant species, why didn't they just take over it then? Why come, drop off a few commandos, leave, wait for humans to settle in, and then wait for humans to destroy themselves? They could've dominated the planet long ago if they had just usurped humans while we were still evolving. Know what I mean? It's an interesting theory, and it could explain a few things about Dogmen, but I don't put much stock in it.

Do you think Anubis Dogmen
look just as goofy as the Egyptians
depict them?

Exhibit D: El Chupacabra

When thinking of the stereotypical el Chupacabra, we typically imagine a creature that is short, has bulbous eyes, and doesn't look like anything on his planet. Being short and having big eyes sounds very Grey-like. And, according to some eyewitnesses, they have seen Chupacabras cavorting around satellites where UFO's often appear, and their footprints have been found around UFO landing sites. One such claim is made by an investigator in the episode "El Chupacabra" on Animal X: Natural Mystery Unit. And, in that episode, Argentinian locals claimed NASA personnel may have captured el Chupacabra specimens and taken them back to the US.

There's definitely a resemblance.

Unfortunately, I'm not much a ufologist, so I don't know much about the alien phenomenon and how it might be connected to cryptozoology. It could be that both UFO's and cryptids are caused by the same phenomenon, such as a portal through the dimensions or that they're both demonic in nature. However, if there are any cryptids out there that are aliens, I'd put money on el Chupacabra, Mothman, and Lizardman just because they're so weird and different from anything we've ever seen before on Earth, and because they do have some ties to UFO's. Hell, Lizardman might even have ties to the US Air Force.

But, that's going to do it for now. I apologize for the brevity of this post, but like I said, I don't know much. Next week, I'll be writing about ghosts, but I'm not sure in what capacity. I will return to Crypto Theory eventually though. I would like to briefly examine the activity around the Land Between the Lakes area, a well-known area to some cryptozoologists. But, anyway, I'll see you next time.

Keep watching the skis! I mean, skies. Keep watching the skies, my friends.

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RWBY Speculation: Why Isn't Blake More Popular?

 Hey, everyone.

So, due to the Blake Character Short, I'm sure some people are on a Blake high. I'm not. But, I'm not really a Blake person. There are things I like about Blake, and then there are things I really don't like about Blake. Speaking of which, I was looking at the view counts on my blog, especially the ones for my RWBY posts, and Blake doesn't seem very popular.

Looking at my Top 10 Reasons series, Ruby seemed the most popular with 109 views, Weiss was second with 62, Blake was third with 55, and Yang came in last with 36. I thought those results were quite interesting because I thought both Weiss and Yang were more popular than that, but I never expected Ruby to be so much higher and Blake to be so low. Then, while looking at the RWBY: The Novelization posts, the "Red" Trailer was the most popular with 98 views, the "Yellow" Trailer was second with 87 views, the "White" Trailer was third with 85, and the "Black" Trailer was last with 50.

Now, while we may conjecture that older posts are bound to have higher views because they've been up longer, however, I don't usually see posts get very many views after they've been released. And, Yang's "Yellow" Trailer met and beat Blake's "Black" Trailer within a week. So, why is that Blake doesn't seem to be all that popular? This requires some investigation.

Alright, so, some people may think it odd that I thought Blake was that popular. Why did I think that? Let's take a look at a few factors.

The resting bitch face doesn't help.

1. She's A Cat

Cats are popular in anime. Hell, they're popular in Japan. Probably because of the lack of space and time, so cats are preferred to dogs. But, I look at anime and video games, and I see a lot of cat furries. For whatever reason, they're one of the most popular anime character tropes. In the anime Omamori Himari, one the main characters, Himari, is a cat demon. And then in Outlaw Star, there's a whole alien race of cat-people called the Ctarl-Ctarl, and catgirl Aisha Clan-Clan is one of the main characters. Another thing about these catgirls is that they're usually over sexualized which usually nets them a big audience despite the ears, tail, and possible fur and rough tongue.

(Left) Himari from Omamori Himari
(Right) Aisha Clan-Clan from Outlaw Star

Looking at Blake, while not sexualized but still sexy, I would've thought some of this ideology would've boosted her numbers. And, cats are popular in the States. I mean, we're almost a decade removed from Icanhazcheeseburger.com, and yet, cat memes can still be found on the Internet. So, why hasn't Blake seen a popularity boost? Is it possible that she isn't catty enough, or that RWBY doesn't have as much of a sexual appeal as Omamori Himari and Outlaw Star? It's possible. I once was a member of a RWBY FB group where they showed a cosplayer dressed as Ruby and her skirt was much too short and her tights showed the full shapeliness of her rump. Many in the group were horrified by the slutty and "trying too hard" depiction of Ruby. So, perhaps it takes more than just a pair of ears to make a catgirl a catgirl, and RWBY just isn't sexy enough.

2. Arryn Zech

This may seem strange to some, but the fact that Arryn voices Blake should boost her popularity. Why? Well, Arryn actually has a decent popularity herself. Many think she's the cutest thing ever and the cutest of the VA's. I remember seeing an interview she did somewhere in LA, and the comments were chock a block full of people fawning all over her. I wanted to puke because I didn't see what the big fuss was. So, shouldn't Arryn boost Blake's popularity?

Don't look directly into her eyes.
It's easier not to like her that way.

Well, maybe, but there's no rule stating that just because a VA is well liked, the character will also be. For example, I quite like Serana from Skyrim, Rise Kujikawa from Persona 4, and Lucina from FE: Awakening, but Laura Bailey... enh. She's talented, but so what. She's not Rise. And, Tara Strong is pretty, and I can't imagine anyone else doing Rikku's (FFX, X-2) voice, but Tara Strong isn't Rikku or even Lollipop Chainsaw's Juliet Starling. So, why should Arryn's popularity be Blake's? Shouldn't Blake earn her own?

3. Black Sun/Eclipse

There are some people out there who really like Black Sun. Hell, some people really like Sun. That, or they really like his abs. So, one might expect to see some people like Blake by proxy. I mean, I started liking Pyrrha more due to her involvement with Arkos. (That and she was brutally murdered before her time.) So, why wouldn't people like Blake if they like Sun?

Can you hear the fangirls screaming in the distance?

Well, do you remember my argument for the VA's? Yeah, that just as easily applies here, so I guess that's an argument shot to hell. And, there's no rule stating you have to like the person your friend is dating, despite what that one episode of Scrubs said. It may be funny, but that doesn't make it right.

4. Bumbleby

Ah, the dreaded Bumbleby. I may dislike Illia, I may think Adam is a douche, I may have lost respect for Torchwick, Neo, and Mercury, and I may abhor Cinder, but when it comes to my true RWBY nemesis, there is none greater than f*cking Bumbleby.

I'm not going to go into it, but looking at how popular Bumbleby is, again I would've thought Blake was popular due to this ship. You look up RWBY ships, and the first one to pop up is Bumbleby. It's not unusual for me to see at least a few Bumbleby pins on Pinterest when I search for RWBY stuff. Hell, I sometimes see something pop up in my general feed. Add to that, Blake and Yang were shipped ever before they were officially made partners. People really like the Bumbleby. So, I would've thought that meant Blake was popular, but it doesn't seem like she is.

This of course raises questions about Bumbleby, firstly, why is it so popular? Is it because of Yang? Is it because black and yellow complement each other? Or is it because non-canon shippers are just dreamers with too much wishful thinking? What is it about Bumbleby that appeals so much to people? If it isn't the characters themselves, what the hell is it? Because if you remove the characters from themselves, remove the characterization from the character, then the ship is utterly pointless because the purpose of seeing two characters in a relationship is to see the characters interact with each other in an intimate way, which they can't do if they aren't themselves. From a writer's perspective, it's fundamentally wrong! It's a mortal writing sin.

Anyway, it would seem that Bumbleby itself is popular, but Blake or Yang by themselves are not. Take one of them out, and it's no longer the same thing. It's like if you removed the Brad Pitt from Brangelina leaving Angelina Jolie and no one giving a f*ck anymore. Weird, weird, weird.

Sorry, Angelina. Without Brad, no one cares.

So, now that I've gone over the reasons why I thought Blake would be popular, let's look at what I feel are her two biggest shortcomings.

1. She's the Hardest to Get to Know

When it comes to adding characterization, it's best done by finding out what a character thinks, how, and why. Now, while you can do that in a TV show, i.e. Scrubs, it's better to have characterization shown through character action and dialogue. And Blake being Blake, she doesn't speak or do much resulting in her not being known very well. And you can't really like someone, for who they are, unless you know them.

Looking at Blake, it takes really emotional encounters to characterize her. Like when she was arguing with Weiss, when Yang was trying to get her to slow down, when she reconciled with her father, and when she was talking to Sun after he got hurt. And unfortunately, this pattern is getting old. It's great for her character, but the other three haven't needed such confrontations to build their characters. So, not only is Blake difficult to get to know, when we do get to know her, it's always in these emotionally tense scenes, and that may not reflect well upon her.

Why do we always have to meet Blake's character
under these conditions?

2. Her Story is Stuck in Second Gear

Blake has slowest character development. Looking at the fall of Beacon and then all of Volume 4, Blake reverted back to the days when she ran from her problems rather than standing and facing them. Volumes 3 and 4 were big deals to our girls. It made them see where they were weak and in what way they'd need to get stronger. Yang learned that she can't solve all her problems head on and with brute force, Weiss learned how to be truly independent from her father in order to rebuild her family name, and Ruby learned that the life she chose is actually really dangerous and it won't be all fairytales and happy endings. But, what did Blake learn? Hmm...

You could argue Blake learned that running from her problems doesn't solve anything. She ran from Adam and he came back with a vengeance. She ran from the battle at hand to seek respite at home, but learned that the White Fang's violent influence is farther reaching than she suspected. She may have also learned that you can't run from a boy who genuinely likes you and is willing to do some shady things to keep up with you.

Sure, Blake decided to go after the White Fang and take it back by the end of Vol. 4, and she reconciled with her parents, but her story sort of stagnated. She started her Vol. 4 arc by running away. It wasn't until Illia injured Sun that she realized she couldn't run from the White Fang anymore. By this time, Yang had already made peace with her arm being gone and had started training again, Ruby was facing the fear of losing another loved one and possibly losing the rest of JNPR, and Weiss was mastering her summoning and preparing to leave.

Blake develops more slowly than the other three, and she falls back on her old habits more often than the others. I mean, Blake's been running away since her trailer. And, this is something that even hardcore Blake fans like my associate Blake Belladonna from RWBY Wonderland is sick of. This is the real problem with Blake--she's still moping over her past and is still afraid to face it. True, her past has real horrors in it, and that should set her up for an epic redemption arc, but after viewing her character short, I'm not imbued with a lot of confidence. Maybe Kerry and Miles just don't know how to write a story like Blake's. Maybe Monty had a much more direct influence on the show's writing than we all thought. Or maybe even Monty didn't know what to do with Blake. But, it is entirely possible that Blake's story just takes longer to go through because it is so much more serious. But, it's still very difficult not to see how slowly her story's pacing is when compared to the others. Maybe she's too serious a character for a project like RWBY.

                                                                      

So, where does this leave the question of Blake's popularity? Well, this post helps illustrate why she isn't as popular as some people thought and it illustrates the weakest parts of her story. But, to some extent, it does put her story into a perspective that will buy her some time to get her sh*t together. But, it better happen real quick.

Anyway, that's it for now. In the next post, I'm going to go over my personal theory as to why I don't think Sun will be Blake's Pyrrha.

Keep writing, my friends.

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This blog is not endorsed by Rooster Teeth in any way. Views, opinions, and thoughts are all my own. Rooster Teeth and RWBY are trade names or registered trademarks of Rooster Teeth Productions, LLC. © Rooster Teeth Productions, LLC.

Five Ways I Buck the INTJ Stereotype

Hey there, everyone.

My name is Bryan C. Laesch, and I am an INTJ. I know I am because16Personalities told me so. (I also used to write for them.) And, almost every pin on Pinterest is incredibly accurate when describing me.

But, the thing we have to remember about MBTI is that it isn't 100% accurate. That is to say, MBTI gives us the stereotypes or averages of each personality even if a particular personality isn't average in the least, like INTJ. In fact, I saw an article where a bunch of INTJs were interviewed on how they buck the INTJ stereotype, and I thought I might take the opportunity to add my own tuppence to the topic. So, these are the five ways I buck the INTJ stereotype. Let's get into it.

1. Religion

Yes, I am religious. Well, I don't like calling myself religious because to me only a Bible or a priest can be religious, but, aye, I practice a religion. The particular religion I practice is Roman Catholicism. Some people may find that hard to believe because the Catholic Church seems to have a lot of rules and restrictions, and INTJs are fiercely independent. Surely an INTJ would prefer something a lot less nailed down. I disagree. I think Catholicism is perfect for the following reasons: 1. It hasn't changed in almost two thousand years (J), 2. It has an extensive theology that was built by Aquinas, a man who was more philosopher than theologian (in fact, he was probably an INTJ himself) (NT), and 3. Despite the fact it's called Mass, all religion is deeply personal; it's a relationship between an individual and the divine (that's what Communion is all about) (I).

In fact, I'm not the only one to clue in to this. I found a pin on Pinterest that listed all the possible careers for INTJs, and one of them was Catholic theologian. So, suck on that INTJ atheistic stereotype! (Unfortunately, I can no longer find that pin.)

St. Thomas Aquinas, Doctor of the Church
Wrote the Summa Theologica which contains the Five Arguments
for the Existence of God
I would bet good money he was an INTJ.

2. I Don't Care About Advances in Technology

According to MBTI, INTJs believe in the relentless development of technology. But me, I don't give a sh*t. To be honest, I hate most new fangled gadgets. Some of them are often more finicky or less user-friendly than the last generation's gadgets, updates are constantly being made to programs that don't need them, often times new tech is released full of bugs and overpriced, so it's tactically advantageous not to buy it until the next generation comes out, and I don't give a rat's ass about being trendy. (I had to get a new pair of glasses once, and the saleswoman kept trying to get me to buy one pair over another because the frames were more popular. It also didn't help that she was wearing those frames so I felt like she was trying to subtly manipulate me.) So, I tend to have the perspective of "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

Now, I should mention that I am always looking to make things as efficient as possible in my own day-to-day life which is sort of what the "relentless development of technology" thing is all about--finding the best way to do something, and then improving on top of that. It's entirely possible that the reason why I don't care about the advancement of technology is because I don't know what it could be, or I don't see the inefficiencies in the tech that the designers see. But, you know what they say, ignorance is bliss. Speaking of which...

3. Ignorance Is Bliss

Typically, you'll never hear an INTJ say this. INTJs have an insatiable appetite for knowledge. We take everything we learn and add it to our database where we can break it down and try to connect it to other things in a maddening pursuit of trying to solve the universe. But, there are some things that shouldn't be known, and a wizened INTJ almost assuredly knows a few things he wish he didn't. There are things I wish I could forget, and there are things I'd be happier not knowing, like who Kim Kardashian is. I don't need that in my life. As a result, ignorance can be bliss. My mother once told me that I didn't know what I was missing in regards to how delicious a salad was (I don't eat salad). And to her, I responded, "If I don't know what I'm missing, I can't miss it."

4. I Prefer My Work to Be Something Creative Rather Than Technical

Going back to the list of jobs perfect for INTJs, most of them tend to be technical like computer programming. Now, the reason why these are so popular among INTJs is because they're lonely jobs; you only need one person doing them. And while I think I would be very good at such a job, hell, I was a window cleaner for several months and I enjoyed the solitude of it, but I don't think I could do something technical for the rest of my life. I think my N trait may be stronger than some INTJs as I prefer to do something creative with my life. I want to create and show off the beautiful complexity of a spider web of connections--hence, I write. And since I can do it alone, it helps my Introversion as well.

In fact, someone has speculated on there being four different kinds of INTJs. On the blog, The Way of the INTJ, the blog writer mentioned how there are "subtypes" of each MBTI personality based on Enneagram personality theory and the different "wing" types. Basically, the way it works is that Enneagram splits personalities into 9 basic personalities, but a person can "wing" in a second personality. Think of it like a college major and minor. According to the blog writer, Tess Ellation, the four INTJ subtypes are the Purist (1w9), the Diplomat (1w2), the Arcanist (5w4), and the Genius (5w6). I'm not going to go into them here, but according the descriptions, I'm obviously the Arcanist. But when I took my Enneagram test, I also did really well in category 1. Unfortunately, I can't be a 5-wing-1 because 5 and 1 are not next to each other. Perhaps that's another Enneagram theory that needs to be explored.

Anyway...

5. I Ask Someone If They Really Want My Honest Opinion

One of the most popular cornerstones of the INTJ personality is brutal honesty. Now, I am brutally honest, but I didn't know how brutal my honesty was until I asked a friend why she enjoyed spending time with me (a very INTJ thing to do). One of the reasons she gave was that I tell the truth regardless of whether it hurts someone's feelings or not. This was news to me--I had never heard this, and honestly, I felt bad about it. I wasn't trying to hurt my friend's feelings; she asked for my opinion so I gave it to her.

Are you sure you want to know what I think about that, cupcake?

After that exchange, I'm more careful now about how honest I am with someone. I still have a desire to tell the truth, but I don't want to hurt people. It's tough being criticized, and in my position as a writer, I know that there's a good way and a bad way to do it. You can tell someone the truth without hurting them. And for those times when I know for sure it'll hurt their feelings, I always ask if they really want to know or not. Although, I wonder if part of my aversion to doing so is because I don't want to get wrapped up in another's feelings or emotional sh*t storm. Sometimes it's just not worth disturbing the peace, you know. I've got sh*t to do, and your butthurt could get in the way of my work.

So, those are the top 5 ways I buck the INTJ stereotype. I'm sure there are more, but for the love of me, I can't think of what they are. But, anyway, next time I'll be going over the 10 ways I fit perfectly into the INTJ stereotype. There are more than 10, but I didn't want to overload you guys. If you want more information on INTJs, you can check out the book The True INTJ here on Amazon. According to Amazon, I own it, but I don't remember reading it. Probably because it's only really useful for people who don't know squat about INTJs. Anyway, see you guys next time.

Keep writing, my friends.

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Why Grease's Story Sucks

Let's talk about writing.

So, some of you are likely Grease fans, and you may be upset by this bold declaration. Don't get me wrong, though, I too appreciate the great American musical. Sometimes grease is the word. It's got groove, it's got meaning. And there are times when it is definitely the time, the place, and the motion. Some days, grease is the way I'm feeling. I also pine for those summer nights where I stay out until 10 o' clock and make out with a pretty girl under the dock. And sometimes, I feel like I was born to hand jive.

But, despite all these good emotions, Grease does have a major problem--not as a musical, but as a story. You see, in all modern stories, main characters go through a change, an arc, a journey. Call it what you want, but by the end of the story, they're no longer the same person they were at the start, and generally, it's for the better. And who am I kidding, we the audience love it when they change for the better. And that's the problem with Grease. Despite its ten main characters, only one of them goes through a real character arc, one of them tries and reverts, and the others stay the same, more or less. Let's take a look at them.

1. Sandy and Danny

Starting with Sandra Dee, this girl is the closest thing we get to having a protagonist. Now, some may argue that Danny is actually the protagonist, but the reason why I say Sandy is the protagonist is because she's the only one who changes, and not for the better I may add. Sandy starts out as your typical girl-next-door type. She's fairly milquetoast, but what's wrong with a good, clean-living girl? Especially for the '50's. Absolutely nothing except for the fact that she falls in love with Danny who is the leader of the T-Birds, a gang.

Some people may have a hard time understanding that, but it's true--greasers were '50's gangs. Instead of wearing saggy pants, they wore leather jackets. Instead of wearing beanies, they greased their hair. And instead of low-riders, they drove hot rods and motorcycles. But the thing that both generations have in common is gang violence. Gats might be more popular today, but that may only be because switchblades aren't as efficient as taking down a rival gang. So, yeah, greasers were gangsters. We don't really see the T-Birds that way because the most violent thing they do is have an illegal drag race through a drain, but the greasers from The Outsiders are closer to the truth.


                                                                     


Getting back to our story, plain Jane, good girl, Sandy falls in love with gang leader Danny Zuko. The main drama of the musical is taken up with Danny trying to find ways to reform himself into a model student so he can be the kind of guy Sandy would date. He tries to shed his greaser visage for a clean-cut, all-American boy. And by the end, he succeeds. He becomes a jock and cleans up his image, but then Sandy comes out looking like every greaser's wet dream. Danny then goes back on his hard work and becomes a greaser again.

The issue we have here is that Danny made the effort to change, even though such a change wasn't really necessary--remember, he was everything Sandy wanted back when they met at the beach--but then he didn't need his "redemption" as Sandy lowered herself to his level, which again, wasn't necessary as she was what he wanted back at the beach. So, while Sandy may be a round character, she changed the wrong way and went in the wrong direction, and Danny may have been a round character, but he didn't have to be by the musical's end. So, what was all his hard work for? And if they accepted each other when Danny didn't need to be the leader of the T-Birds, why didn't Danny just cut the sh*t and be who he was then?

2. Rizzo and Kenickie

Rizzo and Kenickie is another example of characterization blue-ballsing. The big thing that happens between them is that Rizzo misses her period and it's believed that Kenickie knocked her up. Kenickie, trying to be a good guy, tries to accept the responsibility of his actions, but Rizzo pushes him away. She eventually takes him back, but not until her pregnancy turns out to be a false alarm. At which point, they celebrate. How? Well, I already said they get back together, but presumably they banged again later. Hey, if they did it in a car when they weren't really going out, of course they're going to do when they're serious about each other.

Now, Rizzo does go through a change of sorts by accepting her feelings for Kenickie, but so what? She stops acting tough--but did she really learn anything? Did she learn not to screw guys outside of marriage? Did she learn how to avoid unwanted pregnancies and how to not let her passions control her? There are no indications that she did, and there are no indications that Kenickie learned anything either. A fan of the show may give them the benefit of the doubt, but one of the rules of cinema is, if they don't show it, you don't know for sure. I know Grease was originally a musical, but the same principle still applies. If no one says anything different and there aren't any scenes demonstrating that their characters went through a change, no one can say with any degree of certainty that they did, and therefore it must be presumed that they didn't.

3. Frenchy

Honestly, Frenchy is the only person in the musical who makes a change for the better. But! She only makes that change for the better after making a change for the worse, which is kind of funny because I'm sure many real-life beauticians sh*t all over Frenchy's story because of how their career choice is treated. True, beauticians don't make a lot of money, but some do all right for themselves depending on the salon and specific industry. Which then begs a question: was Frenchy really incompetent or was hair just not her thing? Or, maybe all she needed was more study. And, why couldn't she go to beauty school after high school?

So, again, with Frenchy we see a lot of strange choices and actions, and none of them are really mutually exclusive. I suppose you could say that because she made a good decision after making a bad one, she did learn her lesson and make a change for the better. But her choices really weren't so terrible, so her story's a wash.

4. And the Rest

And the rest... while I can remember names and faces, I'm not going to talk about it because honestly, the other members of the T-Birds and The Pink Ladies, they really don't have much of a story or add much to the story. Sure, they have wishes, dreams, and desires, but they don't change by the end. As far as I know, Sonny is still a loser, Marty is still looking for an easy out, and Jan is still a glutton. She also reminds me of my Aunt Maria, but that's a different story entirely.


                                                                      


So, yeah... I remember the first time I saw Grease all the way through. Hell, I went to see it back when I was a Youth Minister and some of my members were in their high school's version of it. Unfortunately, I don't remember a lot of it. I also don't remember a lot of Grease and the order of the scenes is jumbled as f*ck in my memory, which indicates that a good chunk of the story was forgettable and further proves that the story ain't that great.

So, the lesson here is, don't write a story like Grease. Have your main characters go through a few challenges and develop into slightly different characters by the end of the story. You know, like how real do.

In next week's Let's Talk About Writing, I'm going to go over and try a peachy, keen idea on how to create a story with Tarot cards. Don't miss it.

Keep writing, my friends.

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