The Blog of Bryan C. Laesch: May 2019

Friday, May 31, 2019

5 Challenges INTJs Face in Leadership Positions

Hey, everyone.

So for the past few months, I've had the rather dubious distinction of serving as a part of my young adults' group leadership at my parish. During that time I have experienced some challenges and troubles that most INTJs never face since they don't usually lead. Why? Well, I'm not entirely sure, but I suspect freedom and an inability to deal with certain people are the prime reasons. But there are other challenges. Let's go over some of them.

1. Relating to Certain Members

As stated above, INTJs have difficulties dealing with certain people. I have stumbled across such an individual in my group, and for whatever reason, he and I seem destined to be at odds with each other forever. It's not that we necessarily disagree with each other--it's just that we think differently. I like to think along a single track and keep my thoughts within a specific topic. He however will get one thing about the topic stuck in his head that is only vaguely related and digress with a rant. This drives me crazy because, not only is what he's saying off topic and can be said later, but also because I feel as if I have lost control of the situation, and a leader should always be in control.

Another point is that I believe leaders should be able to relate to those "under their command", especially when those people are a part of a church-affiliated group established to foster the Faith. This means the group has to be inclusive, including my leadership, but as we know, INTJs aren't inclusive--we're exclusive. As a result, this comes off as a lack of empathy and an inability to see situations from different perspectives. Therefore, certain members of such a group might find an INTJ leader off-putting, resulting in their departure, which is obviously not what you want in an inclusive, church-affiliated group. So being able to relate to everyone, or at the very least, making sure that they feel like they've been heard and validated, is a boon to a leader in such a position.

2. Perfect Plans

It is well-known that INTJs are suckers for perfection. However, a question we should ask ourselves about this is whether or not INTJs really pursue perfection, or merely what they think is perfection. I raise this inquiry because, as mentioned above, I sometimes feel as though I have lost control of the group which I believe a good leader would never allow to happen. Is that true or is that what I think?

Regardless, the reason why INTJs want their plans to go perfectly is because they have a desire for total control, which relates back to their desire for freedom. That may seem contradictory, the desire for both freedom and control, but in order for an INTJ to have the freedom to interact with the world in the way he wants, he must have the power to do so, which is another way of saying he must be able to control the scenario to allow him the greatest freedom possible.

However, when you start adding other people to the equation, an INTJ's carefully crafted plan begins to fall apart as it doesn't allow for the freedom of others. As a result, INTJs can become upset and demoralized, and the old saying "the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry" seems more like a mocking insult rather than a sagacious comfort.

3. Getting Your Point or Passion Across

I don't know if it's because INTJs are clumsy in social situations or if it's because we're men of ideas rather than words, but it can be quite difficult for us to get our points or passions across to other people. For instance, our group recently "lost" some members (people are free to come and go as they please). As a result, I asked the remainder of the group what keeps them there, and more specifically, what will keep them there. However, I also wanted to make it clear that if they have any high ideals for the group, then they will need to take action to make sure those ideals come to fruition. However, their response was quite lack luster and I had the feeling I wasn't getting through, which was frustrating.

4. Being Frustrated with Lack of Commitment

When INTJs struggle to get their points across, it can result in a lack of commitment from the other parties involved, leaving the INTJ further frustrated. Without complete understanding from everyone, some people will invariably become lost and they won't know what is expected of them, resulting in them not giving their all or even following instructions. This is more or less the last point taken a step or two further, but it's not limited to that. INTJ leaders can just as easily experience this phenomenon anywhere, especially if they own a company and their employees are not enthused about building the company.

Another scenario where an INTJ can experience this is if he has a partner (not a romantic partner). If the partner aspires to the same ideals as the INTJ, or even to higher ones, then it really burns the ass of the INTJ when the partner isn't pulling their weight. This can result in the INTJ burning out as they shoulder more than their fair share of the burden of leading.

5. The Desire to Quit

And finally, we have the culmination of all the problems into one--the desire to quit. This is perhaps the greatest challenge an INTJ can face as a leader. Let's face it, things are easier when the INTJ only has to worry about himself and not others. If he fails, he does so because of his failings, but if he succeeds, he does so because he's worthy of success. When other people are added to the equation, the chances of success or failure are radically altered and outside of the INTJ's control. This may require the INTJ to trust or rely on someone else, which can work out, but we all know which way INTJs think it will go, resulting in their "better not to try at all than to try and fail anyway" attitude.

Conclusion

So, what can be done for the INTJ who finds himself in a leadership position? Well, not much. The best way of avoiding these problems is for an INTJ to stick it out by himself. Unfortunately, sometimes something truly spectacular happens when you choose to bring others into your life. They have their own gifts and they may bring value into a lonely INTJ's life. In the end, being a leader may just be worth it.

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I'm sorry it took so long for this to come out. As I mentioned before, holidays tend to screw me up, but also because I wasn't really happy with any specific version of this post. I don't know how many times I edited it, but it's been through the wringer, and even now, I'm not entirely sure it's good.

For next time, I'll cover either the INTJ perspective of religion or the INTJ's relationship to the super villain persona. It should be interesting regardless of what I choose. Until then...

Keep writing, my friends.

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Friday, May 3, 2019

Quick and Dirty INTJ Thoughts #7: Hypocritical INTJs

Hey, everyone.

Today, I'm talking about hypocritical INTJs. Unfortunately, there's not much that can be said as the meme really does explain it all, but let's see what I can squeeze from this stone.

So, as the meme says, there are no hypocritical INTJs. Why is this? Well, when you have a person that bases his entire life on logic and being right, he's going to make sure that his total existence follows suit. To not do so would be a violation of this logic, and if it violates logic, it can't be right. Remember 2+2=4, not 5.That's what it's like to be inside an INTJ's mind: it's like one giant math equation that needs solving.

But what does happen when you find a hypocritical INTJ? There are two possibilities depending on the situation: 1. Weaker, less developed INTJs will offer excuses and try to justify their hypocrisy, or 2. Regarding points that INTJs don't really care about, they may try to save face by pretending to be aloof and questioning whether or not "it" really matters.

While neither of those are good outcomes, the real tragedy comes from the fact that because INTJs' minds work so fast and argue so gracefully, they may actually convince someone in scenario 1, or their quick response will disarm and defuse the situation in scenario 2, basically ripping the wind out of their critic's sails. While it may seem like the critic can't win in either scenario, the truth is that no one really wins, especially not the INTJ. In scenario 2, pride is preserved, but under false pretenses, which the INTJ recognizes as false and will do what it takes to fix the problem without being noticed so he can maintain the lie he's living, and in both scenarios dishonesty of any kind is anathema to INTJs, hence self-destruction is not far behind.

But what about strong INTJs, or INTJs that do care? Well, while they won't accept defeat gracefully, because the only thing better than being right is being effortlessly right all the time, the INTJ will re-evaluate their lives and thought processes, and make the necessary changes. Sometimes these changes take days, but most often they're almost instant. And in some cases, the INTJ may apologize for being wrong or smug, depending on the situation.

***

Well that was surprising. I didn't think I would get so much. Of course though, I do re-write and edit thoroughly, so the above was not the first attempt. Anyway, I admit I have been neglecting this blog as of late. Other things have been occupying time. Another issue is that I didn't really have any good ideas for topics--nothing that could light a fire under my butt. But, due to some recent events in my life, I was able to come up with three new ones. The first of which will be 5 Challenges INTJs Face in Leadership Positions. Until then...