Friday, October 5, 2018

How INTJs Communicate: An Informal Analysis


Hey, everyone.

So, for this week I wanted to do a post on some of the dating troubles INTJs face, especially my own, but I'm having major writer's block regarding how to start the post. So instead, I decided to do a very informal analysis of the way INTJs tend to/are likely to speak and why. This idea was born from something I noticed about the way I think and talk at work. So...

Different from Everyone Else

It's no secret that INTJs are different from everyone else, and unlike INTPs who are quite adept at (socially) camouflaging their differences, INTJs tend to take pride in standing out. Now, besides our arrogant attitudes, our otherworldly auras, and our disdain to sweat the minutia of other people's lives, we also stand out in how we talk and communicate. A friend of mine actually commented on how blatant this difference was as I tend to write my stories in the same sort of voice as I speak. I don't remember how she described it, but if I were to classify our diction and syntax, they tend to be quite technical, formal, and educated. But what does that mean exactly?

Technical

We INTJs are obsessed with perfection and efficiency. As a result, we take great care in everything we do often thinking a task to death before undertaking it. This applies to our speech in that we are the sort of people in the world who still use "whom" and we use it correctly. We will also strive to not end our sentences with a preposition, and we'll stay far away from double negatives. We also try to make sure the way we speak matches the scenario we're in. Some people might be prone to using words like "thingamabob" and "whatchamacallit," even at business executive levels, but INTJs would never do that unless they're really relaxed in the situation. Otherwise, we're going to use words like "consolidation" and "liquidize."

Formal

Of course though, being in any formal atmosphere is a good enough reason to use a word like "consolidate." For instance, I work at a pet store and my main duty is stocking. The most important items I stock are dog and cat food. Now, while I generally loathe stocking excess dog food on the top  shelves, since most of them are 30+ lbs. and I don't feel steady on the ladder-stairs, but we got in a shipment of a brand that when I was hired in, we didn't have much of. Now we have enough that we have to store the excess on the top shelf. We also had a few bags here and there piled in with other brands. So I decided to consolidate all that one particular brand to one location on the shelf, which then caused me to consolidate several other brands. And that's exactly how I thought about my task: "I consolidated all the Fromm, Acana, Orijen, and Zignature into their own sections."

Another instance of this formal thinking and speaking is that while I was on register recently, the computer told me that a cash drop needed to be performed. Now, I don't know what a "cash drop" is exactly, but I know it must be done by a manager, there's always less money in the register as a result, and they have to print out a receipt at the end of the procedure to balance the books. Anyway, when I finally ran out of customers and was able to request a cash drop, I pulled up my radio's microphone--not my walkie-talkie, but my radio's mic--and said, "Register 1 requires a cash drop." I identified which register I was at, I used the word "required," and I said what needed to be done. I didn't say, "Hey, Jeff or Christine, or whoever isn't busy, I need you up front." No, I got to the point and used the business lingo.


Educated

And speaking of lingo, the clear example from the above scenario is that I said "required" instead of "needed." I chose the fancier word. Another example of this is that I  texted my friend Mary to see if she was still planning on attending our alma mater's homecoming game this Friday. Originally, I intended on texting her, "Hey, do you still intend on coming to the game this Friday?" But I decided to change "intend" to "plan." I did this for a number of reasons, primarily because I thought "intend" might come off as rude as if I didn't believe her intentions to be there, but my first instinct was to use "intend" instead of "plan" because as an INTJ, I prefer the word "intend" because its a more educated sounding word.

Another example is that I am more prone to asking customers "Do you require any assistance?" rather than "Do you need some help?" I may think the phrase "Do you need some help?" but the phrase "Do you require any assistance?" comes out. Also, instead of saying "A dog peed on our floor," I'll say "A dog urinated on our floor." While this is an example of education, I must admit that it's more of an example of formality since I don't like to use "pee" in front of other people. I'll say it about myself, but I won't say it about myself in front of others because I don't want to be seen as immature, and that leads us to why INTJs talk like they do.

It's All about Image

You ever hear the saying "the clothes make the man," or that "you should dress for the job you want?" Well, for INTJs we want to give off a certain image of ourselves. That image is of one who is competent, resourceful, intelligent, and capable. As a result, we act more business-like or even military-like when we're with other people. We don't want to be lumped in with all the other braindead slobs. Like I said, we stand out due to our word choice and word order, and my point is that we do that on purpose. Whereas we could act and speak like everyone else--it would be efficient after all--we choose not to, and since we take pride in our education and character, going above and beyond the call of duty in communication fits us like a speedo.

A Multitude of Perceptions

The other thing that I should mention is that because INTJs have such expansive vocabularies, that means there are a lot of words floating around in our heads, and many of these words have similar, not the same, but similar definitions. And while we don't give one iota about the minutia of your life, we will study the minute differences between all these words and use them exactly where they belong.

A good example is the difference between the words "speak," "talk," and "tell." I first noticed the difference between "speak" and "tell" when I studied Italian at college. In Italian, we have the word "parlare" for "speak" and "dire" for "tell." I thought it an odd discrepancy at first, but when you think about it, to have someone speak to/with you and to have someone else tell you (something), both scenarios have two very different contexts. In the latter, a person is merely giving you a piece of information whereas in the other it's implied that a conversation took place, possibly even an important one. A conversation can also take place with "talk," but it's often regarded as an informal or general conversation. And therefore, being an INTJ I hate small talk preferring to speak with people, and I loathe it when someone else tells me my business.

Conclusion

Unfortunately, I can't really capture the way INTJs speak in such a short blog post. Like I said, this is an informal analysis, and without some concrete comparisons to the other types, it's all hearsay. However, eagle-eyed readers may have picked up on the uniqueness of my writing voice which is quite distinct. It's not the sort of writing or voice you'd expect to see on a personal blog. In fact, this post and the blog itself are perhaps the best examples I can give of how INTJs communicate. I mean, how many people use "minutia" or would say how INTJs "communicate" as opposed to how INTJs "talk?" The difference is quite obvious and I'm proud of it.

***

Well, that started off as interesting post, but I'll be honest, I felt like I was beating a dead horse at the end and felt like I had run out of examples. This post started strong and petered out. Unfortunate, but it's not a real analysis, so oh well. But if you want to make sure you never miss an INTJ analysis, formal or informal, from yours truly, please join my mailing list. And with the generous support you can give me through Patreon, I can keep writing analyses on INTJs and even make some of them quite formal indeed.

For next week, I'm really going to cover INTJs and their dating troubles, come Hell or high water. Until then...

Keep writing, my friends.

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