25 Struggles Only INTJs Will Understand: A Response to Thought Catalog, Part II

Hey, everyone.

This is part II of my response to Thought Catalog's "25 Struggles Only INTJs Will Understand." If you haven't read the first part yet, you can find it here. Otherwise, let's get back to the action.

9. When your argument is valid, well researched, and factual, and yet the person you’re presenting it to still won’t accept it because it doesn’t correspond to their precise worldview.

This hasn't happened a lot to me since I don't argue with people because I don't have the patience for it, but it does remind me of people who say they like the Star Wars prequels or even the new ones despite the fact they agree with all the reasons why they're terrible. (And you thought INTJs are contradictory.)
 

10. Always coming up with the perfect comeback three hours after you need it.

I thought everyone suffered from this.
 

11. When you can recognize the value of making decisions quickly and yet your brain refuses to do so until you’ve mentally cycled through absolutely EVERY possible outcome first.

Well, it is always best to take action now rather than sit on it, but, yes, I often like to think things through. Sometimes past the point of taking action.
 

12. When a conversation with someone doesn’t unfold the way you meticulously planned for it to in your mind.

Yeah... This does happen. But again, according to a YouTube video I once saw, a lot of people suffer from this.
 

13. People assuming you’re being antisocial when you’re really just surveying your environment, trying to understand how to best interact with it.

Well, I don't know about the second part, but the first part is true. Generally, I survey the area from a distance because there's nothing else to do. What am I going to do? Survey it from up close? Sort of defeats the purpose of surveying. And it's not like I could actually interact with my environment up close. What sort of madness is that?

 

14. Being deliberate and thoughtful in your approach to building relationships in a world full of people who are careless and flakey in their approach to doing the same.

Hey, have I told you guys about my friend Mary, yet?
 

15. Having a vague, nagging feeling and requiring hours – if not days – to pinpoint what it is and where it’s coming from.

It doesn't usually take days for me, but I am familiar with this phenomenon.
 

16. Being forced to exist in a world where communication is largely subtle and implicit (and therefore wildly ineffective).

I have mixed feelings about this one. On the one hand, I understand that most communication is subtle and implicit, and that's how we are. But on the other hand, it is terribly inefficient.
 

17. On the flip side, having your particular form of subtlety go completely unnoticed by others when you do decide to implement it.

Holy sh*t! Yes!!! It's amazing to me how blind some people can be.
 

18. Constantly developing strange, niche interests that even you don’t completely understand.

I generally understand them, and they're not constantly developing, but I do have a lot of niche interests. I think, anyway. Maybe they're not really niche, just uncommon.
 

19. Constantly being called heartless by others, when in reality you experience deep, complex emotions just like anyone else. You just prefer to wear your logic on your sleeve rather than your heart.

I've never been called heartless, but I have been accused of being emotionless. One of these accusations happened on the playground during lunch when I was in middle school. I laughed at it because 1. I wanted to show I did have emotion, 2. The accusation was laughable (see #1), and 3. I don't know why the hell Lauren F. would care if I showed emotion or not.

Although, being this kind of Heartless would be badass.

 

20. Holding yourself to ridiculously high expectations at all times and therefore feeling the impact of failure much more intensely than others seem to – because you know without a doubt what you’re capable of.

There is something incredibly empowering knowing all my successes lie with me, but it's also extremely depressing to know that all my failures are mine. But at least, it's bad ass to say something like, "I'm the dominant force in my life. All my successes are mine... as are my failures." Holy sh*t. I could slap that on a t-shirt on sell it. (Copyright Bryan C. Laesch 2017)
 

21. Holding the people you care about to similarly high expectations, despite knowing that you can’t control their actions.

Yeah... It's said INTJs think highly only of themselves, but if that were true, we wouldn't hold others to high standards. I just want to think the best I can of everyone, and it's terribly dismaying when I know someone is capable of better, but they revel in being a pezza di merda.

 

22. Being perfectly capable of ‘Relaxing and enjoying life’ – but only after all the items on your to-do list are checked off.

Enh. My to-do list isn't that important to me. Maybe it's because there's too much on it, and I just figure that I'm not going to get everything done, so I just don't worry about it.
 

23. Being idealistic in your ability to perceive optimal outcomes to problems – but realistic in your understanding that nobody’s going to be willing to put in the necessary work to achieve that outcome.

Yeah, man. This is like the whole expectations and standards thing. It's like, we're capable of doing so much more and being so much better, so let's go balls to the wall, rock out with our c*cks out, and blow everyone's mind! But no one wants to do that. They want to scrape by with as little effort as possible. Che triste.
 

24. Becoming inexplicably stuck on small details or seemingly insignificant pieces of information if they do not fit into the system of logic you’ve constructed internally. To others, it looks like fixation. To you, it’s just the unyielding need for everything to remain logically consistent.

I want to say this is true, but I can't think of a specific example from my life where it is or has been.

 

25. The constant desire to give up on the external world altogether and become a hermit – but with the corresponding understanding that as a hermit, you would be unlikely to get anything meaningful done. And so, life as you know it goes on.

Holy sh*t, yes. This is so damn true. Although, being a writer, I don't have the luxury of letting life as I know it go on. If I don't put some serious effort into changing it, I'll be stuck here for the rest of my life. But I'm not going to lie, forsaking this world and it's possessions, temptations, and frustrations looks better and better every year.

Conclusion

So, if you couldn't tell from my comments, these are all true, although some are more accurate than others. Hopefully, if you're an INTJ, this lets you know that you're not alone in your struggles, and for those of you who have INTJs in your lives, hopefully this will give you some insight into their problems. And inform you on how to stop being such an ass! Anyway, that's going to be it from me this time. This week's second article will be about 10 things you shouldn't say to an ENFP and whether or not an INTJ would say those things to an ENFP. Is the mythical romance between the ENFP and INTJ all that's cracked up to be?! Find out later this week. Until then...

Keep writing, my friends.

More About Bryan C. Laesch:

My Works:

Amazon: My Author Page, My Influencer Page
Facebook: Bryan C. Laesch, Bawdy Scholar
Patreon: Bryan C. Laesch
Twitter: BryanofallTrade
Youtube: Bryan C. Laesch, Bawdy Scholar

25 Struggles Only INTJs Will Understand: A Response to Thought Catalog, Part I

Hey, everyone.

So, in keeping with my hopes to reignite my interest in writing, as well as the fact that I'm sitting on several topics already, here's another response post. This one is to Thought Catalog on their article "25 Struggles Only INTJs Will Understand." Will these struggles be my struggles, or can I add these to the ways I buck the INTJ stereotype? FYI: this post will only cover struggles 1 through 8 because I get a little long-winded in some of these first ones and I get a lot long-winded with #8. So, Part II will be up next week. So, let's take a look at these struggles.

1. When you want to explain something concisely but instead end up giving a three-hour speech on the origins of this particular school of thought and the various opinions that surround it because you can’t bear to explain only part of the bigger picture.

Well, this isn't accurate to the letter, but the spirit/theme is. I try to explain things on my blog as concisely as possible, but I always feel the need to add a lot of specifying detail just so my audience knows exactly where I'm coming from and what I mean. I don't know if it's as much an INTJ thing as it is an English major thing; you know, "state your thesis and defend it." Yeah, English majors have to master that.
 

2. When someone tries to change the plan at the last minute, not understanding that you now have to re-construct the entire day (and all the corresponding scenarios you might encounter throughout it) mentally – which takes much more time than you’re being given.

Well, this overdramatizes the problem a bit, but it's partially true. I know I've made plans with friends and then at the last minute, they change them and I have difficulty adjusting to the new plan. This most often happens with my friend Mary.

One time I went to meet her for coffee, and when I got to the shop, she told me to get in her car and we went to a bar because she needed a drink. We then went to a sushi place; it was my first time--I wasn't impressed. She tried to further push the day by saying we should go to a hooka bar, but grazie a Dio, it was closed. She's also changed meeting times at the last minute too because she can't get her ass in gear and then my being anally-on-time turns into an extremely-anally-early.

 

 

3. Everyone assuming that you’re glaring at them when you’re really just concentrating intensely.

Well, sort of. When I concentrate, I make sure not to look at somebody so they don't think I'm staring at them. Truth is, if I'm looking/staring at you, I mean to stare at you.
 

4. Having the intelligence and decisiveness to be a revolutionary leader but completely lacking the patience to deal with the people you’d have to lead.

Yeah, that's definitely true. Except for me, the big issue would be the responsibility involved. Leadership comes with a lot of it, and that doesn't do me well as it means I can't just cut-and-run when I want to. Sometimes I get super anxious about certain decisions, like I'm locked-in to them. When that happens, I run and I run fast.
 

5. When friends or coworkers encourage you to ‘lighten up!’ or ‘smile!’ as though that is going to solve the problem that you’re working on.

Pretty much, except my problem with "lighten up" and "smile" is that if I think I'm smiling or lightening up artificially, I'm going to hate myself for it. I want such moments in my life to be genuine, not just because some assh*le told me to.

 

6. When you have no choice but to follow an inefficient rule and it makes you die a little inside every time.

Depends on how inefficient the rule is and whether or not I'm getting paid. If I'm getting paid, I can swallow my pride and do it. But if it's pro bono and it's super inefficient, like that time I tried to schedule an appointment to see my counselor at Wayne State when I was at the counseling office and they told me I had to call to schedule, yeah, I died a lot that day.
 

7. People constantly assuming you’re shy when really you just aren’t interested in wasting mental energy conversing about 90% of the topics that are brought up over the course of a day.

Yeah, more or less. Although, in my case, they don't assume I'm shy, they just assume I'm an assh*le.

 

8. Your brain’s tendency to mull over each social interaction for weeks after the fact, analyzing what you could have done or said differently.

Something like that. I do mull over social interactions long after they've happened, but it's not necessarily because I'm wondering what I could've done differently. It's usually because I'm wondering what the other person was thinking or why they were doing what they were doing. Would you like an example from my own life? Story time, kids!

So, years ago, I went to Stony Creek Metropark with my friend Mary to go kayaking. We did and we ended up kayaking a good distance across the lake. It turned out to be a super distance that I hadn't realized at the time because the current helped to take us out and then we had to fight it on our way back. Phew! Very tiring. Anyway...

We found a shady spot along the shore and got out of our kayaks. Suddenly, Mary looks over at me and says, "Oh! Now that we're in water, you can pick me up." I was terribly bewildered by this statement because she had said it as if this was something we had planned beforehand, and I had no memory of it. So for the first couple of minutes that I'm holding her, I'm terribly confused, trying to remember if this was something she had told me. Turns out she hadn't; she was just being spontaneous.

So, I'm standing in water in which I can still touch the bottom of the lake, I'm 6'4"-6'5" remember, and I'm holding her like you might hold a girl as you carry her over the threshold. Not a particularly sexual/intimate hold, but for some reason, I'm intensely and strangely sexually attracted to Mary--I don't know why. So, you can imagine what sort of physiological side effect this scenario has on me, and the whole time I'm thinking, "She has to be able to feel that. There's no way she can't." Anyway, because she can't stand in the depths we're in and I was curious to see if she was just as light if I held her the other way, I had to drop her legs from one arm, embraced her with both, and swept her legs up with the other arm. And then I did it back, and again, the whole time our bodies are touching and touching.

Skip ahead a few years, I'm thinking about this incident while I'm in the bathroom and I have the revelation "Hey!!! Was she flirting with me?! Did she want the D, or a kiss, or something?" because why else would a girl put herself into that position with a boy, right? I asked her about it, and while she said she didn't remember the incident, she said she reserved the right to flirt with me when the moment strikes her. And! She said another time that that's just how people flirt when swimming, which is news to me, and I'm pretty sure it's news to a lot of other people, too.

Since then, so that I don't look like a cuck or a beta male, I've instituted a new swimming rule that says whenever a girl gets so close to me that the only thing keeping me out of her is two very-thin-layers-of-whatever-they-make-swimsuits-from, I'm going to kiss her because I think that's what most girls are after in such a situation. And if the girl gets pissed, I'm going to tell her, "Look, honey: if you don't want to be treated like my girlfriend, don't act like my girlfriend."




Phew. That took up a lot of time. Anyway...

 

So, just as I said, that's where I'm going to halt things for this week. Look for Part II to come out on Tuesday night next week.

Keep writing, my friends.

More About Bryan C. Laesch:

My Works:

Amazon: My Author Page, My Influencer Page
Facebook: Bryan C. Laesch, Bawdy Scholar
Patreon: Bryan C. Laesch
Twitter: BryanofallTrade
Youtube: Bryan C. Laesch, Bawdy Scholar

10 Things You Should Never Say to an INTJ: A Response to Psychology Junkie

Hey, everyone.

So, yeah, I've had the devil's time of getting back into writing. Part of the problem is I got a video game or two that I don't need to connect to the Internet in order to enjoy, so I've been playing the crap out of those. So, I'm going to try to get a couple of response posts out to make up for the lack of production, and in this one, we're looking at 10 things you should never say to an INTJ as speculated by Psychology Junkie here. Are they right, or will this be another list of ways I buck the stereotype? Let's get into it.

1. You Don’t Know What You’re Talking About

While it's possible I don't know what I'm talking about, if I decide to join a conversation, then that most likely means I have something to contribute, which means there's at least an 80% chance that I know something about the topic. True, a person won't necessarily know that my contributions are rare, but if you know a person is an INTJ, you really shouldn't say this to him as he will definitely take it as an insult.

2. You Think Too Much

Maybe you don't think enough, you ever think of that?! Huh? Huh?!

But seriously, INTJs might be over-thinkers. A friend of mine once compared me to Hamlet because I had a tendency to think so much about my problems that I would think them dead, to the point where action was no longer a choice, or I would convince myself into not taking action. So, learning to think less could be good for INTJs. But! I am forced to ask: have you ever looked at the world and wondered why it's so f*cked up? There are a few reasons for this, but one of them is that very few people think about what they're doing. So, how about this? I'll promise to think less if you retards promise to think more. Deal?

3. You Need to Lighten Up!

INTJs don't lighten up, at least, not out in public. At home, we can be very light, absurd, and downright ridiculous if the mood strikes. But, if someone tells us this while we're out, we're going to darken even further. This statement comes across as criticism, so we're likely to take it negatively, and we don't like it when other people try to tell us our business or take undeserved authority above us.

4. You Can’t Do That

Hold my beer and watch this.

5. You Should Smile More

Again, just like with thinking too much, maybe you smile too much, and just like with lightening up, we're more likely to frown harder and heavier when told this. What makes you such an expert on the ways of life that you know for a fact smiling would improve my life somehow?

But seriously, when it comes to smiling, I really hate it when people are disingenuous or seem to be wastefully cheerful. As a result, I don't want to cheapen my smile or my happiness by smiling when I don't actually feel like it. I want all my smiles to be genuine. So, if I'm scowling and you don't like it, give me a reason to smile. Or f*ck off. Either or.

6. Because This is How It’s Always Been Done

Well, maybe there's a better way or maybe it's time things change.

This isn't always the case, some things should never change, but there is a lot that can. Where technology is concerned, there's almost certainly a better way of doing things if you're willing to experiment a little.

On a more personal note, I used to wear a hat all the time, including indoors. Why? Because I like hats. But my parents would always try to get me to take it off. I finally asked why one day, and my Old Man said that by wearing a hat indoors, I'm insinuating to my host that I'm in a rush to leave. Personally, I don't think this argument holds any water, especially not among family and friends. I thought of a better reason later which was that a hat shelters your head while outside, but when inside, you have a roof for shelter and to keep wearing your hat indoors can be an insult to your host because it's like you're saying, "I don't trust your roof to keep me sheltered, so I'm going to rely on my own."

But, way back when, I mostly wore my hat indoors because it was a part of my look and I liked it. So, when people told me to take it off, I refused, and it was partially because I wanted to be contrary to show that an old-fashioned tradition doesn't mean sh*t these days. So, don't say this to INTJs unless you can give a good argument as to why a procedure or tradition has never changed.

7. You Need to Go Out More

Maybe you go out too much! You ever think of that, huh?!

No, but seriously; there's not much out in the world that we want to see and experience for ourselves. My mother knew someone who went to Machu Picchu, and when she asked him how it was, he said it was exactly like it was on TV. I took that to mean that there are some things out there that are not any better in person than they are in a photograph. Plus, going out more means that we would have to deal with people more and we aren't people persons. And since we're not very social to begin with, and we're unintentionally weird, we are likely to "go out" without any sense or idea of what to do after. Without some better direction, we're not going to know what to do with "out" when we find it.

So, if you want to tell us to go out, make sure you give us a good reason why and list a few places we can go that might be of interest to us.

8. I Just Decided to Pop Over!

Yeah, don't do this. Even if you're friends with the INTJ. For starters, it's just plain rude because we might be busy, and secondly, INTJs abhor disturbances and distractions. And with how weird we can be, you might walk in on something really strange and we won't want to explain ourselves because that'll be more embarrassing than what you caught us doing. Just, just don't do it.

9. Here, Let Me Show You How It’s Done

Well, we're not insane, so if it's something that we genuinely don't know how to do, it's fine. But when I say "fine," I mean the womanly "fine"--the lying "fine." Everything will eventually be truly fine, but to avoid all tension and problems, what you should do is tell us how to do it, just don't do so condescendingly. Also, we're smart enough to make the necessary jumps in logic to the next steps, so don't be surprised if we're a faster study/learner than the people you usually explain things to.

10. That’ll Never Happen

I could go into a big thing about how INTJs love possibility and we're romantic enough to be like, "Never say never" or some crap, but I'm going to keep this short and leave you with this:

Conclusion

In conclusion, Psychology Junkie is more or less right. These are 10 things you should never say to an INTJ, although #8 is more of something you shouldn't do to an INTJ. I mean, when I say "should," I don't mean we're going to rip your arms out of your sockets for saying these things to us, but we will be upset, and in some cases, we'll damn near kill ourselves just to prove you wrong, which could actually result in something cool or wonderful happening, but it's probably not a good idea.

Anyway, that's it for now. I'll see you guys on the flip side.

Keep writing, my friends.

More About Bryan C. Laesch:

My Works:

Amazon: My Author Page, My Influencer Page
Facebook: Bryan C. Laesch, Bawdy Scholar
Patreon: Bryan C. Laesch
Twitter: BryanofallTrade
Youtube: Bryan C. Laesch, Bawdy Scholar

Are INTJs Narcissists?

Hey, everyone.

So, I've got a story for you. For about the past week, almost every time I open Pinterest, there's almost always a pin about narcissism or pins titled things like "How to Tell if You're Dating a Narcissist." The first time I saw one, I didn't think anything of it because occasionally something random will pop into my Pinterest feed, like home decorating tips. But I kept seeing these narcissism pins. When I think about it now, it could be because I save a lot of psychology-related pins, but if that was the reason, then I should also be seeing pins about other mental disorders. So, the only thing I can connect these pins to are all the pins I save on MBTI and being an INTJ which would make sense since INTJs are sometimes called narcissists, but are they really?

I'll be the first to admit that we INTJs have superiority complexes and we often look down on others for being mundane, predictable, boring, or stupid, but I have a hard time convincing myself we're narcissists. I mean, think about this for a second: where does the word "narcissist" come from? It comes from the ancient Greek myth of Narcissus, a man who fell in love with himself after seeing his reflection. But here's the problem; while INTJs do think themselves better than others, that doesn't mean we're in love with ourselves. In fact, I'm willing to bet most INTJs don't think themselves narcissists.

But, there's a problem to that: the common, modern, slangy usage of narcissism is in reference to an arrogant person, which is disappointing because I'm quite fond of the word "pretentious" and the phrase "pompous ass." But, there is an easy answer to all this and that's to just take a narcissism test and be done with it, which is what I did. Do you want to see my results?

Results:

These are my actual results. I screen captured them so you know I'm not lying.

 

That's right, ladies and germs, I scored an 11. Now, I don't know what that's out of, but considering I scored, not just lower than average, but lower than the average range, that's pretty telling. I mean, I only scored a little more than halfway to narcissistic. However, this image only tells you my total result. See, the test results are broken down into several values: Authority, Self-Sufficiency, Superiority, Exhibitionism, Exploitativeness, Vanity, and Entitlement. So, how did I do in each category?

 

Well, look at that. I scored quite low in Authority and Superiority, Self-Sufficiency is about average, and in Exhibitionism, Exploitativeness, and Vanity, I didn't score squat. But as indicated by the red bar, I scored quite high in Entitlement. But, what do these values mean? Well, I thought ahead, and copied and pasted them below.

 

Authority
Authority refers to a person's leadership skills and power. People who score higher on authority like to be in charge and gain power, often for power's sake alone.

Self-Sufficiency
This trait refers to how self-sufficient a person is, that is, how much you rely on others versus your own abilities to meet your needs in life.

Superiority
This trait refers to whether a person feels they are more superior than those around them.

Exhibitionism
This trait refers to a person's need to be the center of attention, and willingness to ensure they are the center of attention (even at the expense of others' needs).

Exploitativeness
This trait refers to how willing you are to exploit others in order to meet your own needs or goals.

Vanity
This trait refers to a person's vanity, or their belief in one's own superior abilities and attractiveness compared to others.

Entitlement
This trait refers to the expectation and amount of entitlement a person has in their lives, that is, unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with one's expectations.

 

So, let's break these down and analyze them to see how likely an INTJ is to have these traits.

Authority: While it is mentioned quite often how well INTJs lead, it is well-known that they don't want to lead. They're the sort of people who like to either stay out of the way or go do their own thing. So, it's not too surprising that INTJs would score low here, but we'd still expect to see a bit of a score due to their natural leadership abilities. What probably keeps INTJs from being narcissistic here is the condition of having or being in power for the sake of power. No INTJ wants power for the sake of it. What the hell is the point of that? There's no meaning in power for the sake of power. INTJs believe that if you have power, you should have it for a purpose.

Self-Sufficiency: Well, that's a big 10-4. Yep, INTJs definitely have this; screw relying on other people. But why then is Self-Sufficiency not through the roof here? Well, for the right INTJ, it definitely could be. For me it isn't because I still live with my parents and I am well aware of how dependent I am on them. Not to mention, although INTJs don't like depending on others, that's not to say that we don't--it could just mean that we don't like talking about it. Remember, acknowledging to people how important they are to us doesn't come easy to us, but we have no problem admitting it to others (like I just did).

Superiority: Another that's quite self-explanatory. But again, why wouldn't this be higher? Well, for the right INTJ, he will know that he doesn't have all the answers or all the best ideas. Once in a while, someone comes up with something better. Not to mention, just because we think ourselves smarter, more moral, better thinkers, etc. that doesn't mean that we think we're better human beings than you. Everyone has their own unique talents and gifts; I may be smarter than you, but you might be a better worker. You might be more generous, kinder, more loving, and these qualities just might mean you're a better person overall whereas an INTJ is better than you in one specific way.

Exhibitionism: Yeah, it's no surprise that INTJs would score low here. One of the reasons why we don't want power is because of how central we'd become to everyone and how they'd all look to us. You tend to get a lot of attention when you're in charge, even if you don't deserve it, like Obama. And even if we do become the center of attention, it doesn't take long for the novelty of it to wear off.

Exploitativeness: INTJs tend to be tit-for-tat, turnabout-is-fair-play sort of people, and we know that we don't want to be exploited, so we're not likely to exploit others. The other problem is that we don't tend to know a lot of people, and you can't exploit someone you don't have access to. Plus, being exploitive gets in the way of self-sufficiency. If you're constantly exploiting someone else for what you need and want, how can you call yourself self-sufficient? Alas, INTJs are not exploitive.

Vanity: Ah, this goes back to what I was saying about superiority. True, we do think ourselves superior, but that doesn't mean we believe in our superiority. I know that sounds contradictory, but it's one thing to know you're smart, but it's quite another to think you're smarter than everyone else. Plus, physical vanity doesn't fit the INTJ's MO either. We may put effort into our appearances, but we don't tend to think highly of our physical attractiveness.

Entitlement: So, I scored highest in entitlement. But does this mean that I'm entitled or that INTJs are entitled? Looking at INTJs first, while we don't like being the center of attention, to an extent, we do feel like people should be heeding our advice and wisdom. We also think we should be recognized for our abilities and accomplishments which covers the point on "unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment," but what about "automatic compliance with one's expectations?"

Well, you could twist that around to mean that INTJs have exceptionally high standards of people, and most people don't meet those expectations. However, the simpler explanation would be when INTJs tell someone to do something and instead of just blindly following orders, they start asking questions which irritates the hell out of us (even though we'd totally do the same). But, what about me?

Well, I definitely think I should be recognized for my abilities and achievements, most especially my writing which I feel has been largely ignored. It wouldn't bother me so much if my friends and family had at least bought my books, but they haven't. The other thing about me is that when I took the test, I was going through a hard, dark time. At the time, I felt abandoned by God because it felt like all my prayers had fallen on deaf ears, and it was especially stressful for me because while I know nothing is impossible for God, there were two times recently where he could've easily fixed my problems and didn't. So, it's possible my entitlement was high at the time due to my emotional stress, but it's also possible because I'm a writer, but it could be because I'm an INTJ. I don't know. I'd have to take the test again, once when my money problems are non-existent, and a second time when I feel like I'm being recognized for my literary opera.

 

 

So, what does that mean for INTJs and narcissism? Well, I think it's pretty obvious--INTJs are not narcissists. Sure, we think ourselves superior, but it takes more than a superiority complex to make a narcissist. And I don't believe myself to be one even if I scored high on entitlement. Hell, I have a lot of issues on the whole "loving myself" front, so I'm definitely not a narcissist. And I don't keep this blog to show you all how special I am, I do it to market myself, which is exploitation, and boy, does it suck. But, I don't think INTJs are narcissists, however a larger data sample is required before an accurate conclusion that can be drawn.

Anyway, that's it for today. Hopefully, I'll have something else out this week INTJ side. I'm actually sitting on a lot of response posts, but not many of them are written. So, until then...



Keep writing, my friends.

More About Bryan C. Laesch:

My Works:

Amazon: My Author Page, My Influencer Page
Facebook: Bryan C. Laesch, Bawdy Scholar
Patreon: Bryan C. Laesch
Twitter: BryanofallTrade
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How Discovering I Was An INTJ Changed My Life

Hey, everyone.

So, as promised, here's the coveted return of the original INTJ posts, starting with how finding out I was an INTJ changed my life. There's not much point of writing an introduction for this. Let's just hop to it.

So, if you spend any time on the Internet, you're likely aware of how many quizzes there are that help people figure out who they are. Some of these are just for funzies, like what kind of dragon are you or what is your DnD alignment, but some are quite serious and informative such as the ones dealing with psychology and personality. I was no stranger to MBTI tests when I took the one on 16Personalities, but I never took them seriously. I actually remember taking one on Facebook and getting ISTJ and feeling sufficiently esteemed. I don't remember how I ended up on 16Personalities, but the more important question is if I got ISTJ before, how did I end up with INTJ from 16P's? Well, I believe 16P's' test is more thorough. I think it is the definitive MBTI quiz on the net. But how did the result change my life?

Well, after taking the test and getting a four, technically five, letter personality doesn't really mean anything to you until you understand what each letter and category is, not to mention how they interact with each other and how that creates the beautiful mystery of who you are. 16P's goes a little deeper than that because they also assign "Roles" to people depending on certain traits they get as well as "Strategies." For those who don't know, Roles determine goals, interests, and preferred activities. There are four of them: Analysts (xNTx), Diplomats (xNFx), Sentinels (xSxJ), and Explorers (xSxP). Strategies meanwhile describe our preferred ways of doing things and achieving goals. Again, there are four of them: Confident Individualism (Ixxx-A), People Mastery (Exxx-A), Constant Improvement (Ixxx-T), and Social Engagement (Exxx-T).

For those wondering about the A's and T's, 16P's added a fifth dimension called "Identity," which is confidence in abilities and decisions, and you can be either "Assertive" or "Turbulent." If you're Assertive, you don't let stress get you and you're very confident about getting your projects finished even if you're not hustling, whereas Turbulent personalities are susceptible to stress, but they always get their work done and more because of how much they hustle.

Anyway, my results were INTJ-A, meaning I'm an Analyst and my strategy is Confident Individualism. So, basically I'm a rational and impartial intellectual who is fiercely independent, strong-willed, and imaginative. I prefer to do things alone, choosing to rely on my own skills and instincts; I believe in personal responsibility, and I prefer to rely on only myself. 16P's goes further with INTJs saying we're "imaginative and strategic thinkers with a plan for everything." At our best, we're quick, imaginative, and strategic, have high self-confidence, are independent and decisive, hard-working and determined, open minded, and we're Jack-of-all-Trades. At our worst, we're arrogant, judgmental, overly analytical, loathe highly structured environments, and are clueless in romance.

Most of that is exactly right, which blew my mind. I used to think I was so unique that no one could understand me, that I was purely one-of-a-kind. But 16P's enlightened me to the truth. But rather than be crushed by this, because everyone wants to be unique, I found it extremely liberating. See, like most Introverts, I thought there was something wrong with me or something wrong with the world. How was it that I could earn the respect and admiration of my peers for being so intelligent and ambitious, but garner their harassment and criticism for who I was in day-to-day life? I thought I was weird and unbalanced. I mean, I did think I was special, destined for something greater, most INTJs do, but I thought I was unique amongst the whole world's population. Come to find out, I'm not and for whatever reason, that let the pressure off me. There wasn't something wrong with me, I was just different. And how! (Remember, INTJs are quite rare.)

It was also comforting to see all my virtues laid bare, listed and easily understandable. And while I didn't like to see my vices also so easily identified, it is nice to know where my weaknesses lie. But by being identified as an INTJ, I now had a definitive identity behind who I was, which I know sounds weird, but my name, religion, nationality, occupation, etc. can only do so much. Those things describe what and who I am, not how I function. Knowing I'm an INTJ, I can tell people that and they will understand me. By knowing I'm an INTJ, it helps me identify myself, my character, and more importantly, what I can become. But why is that so important?


That might sound like a strange question, even when coming from an INTJ. We're extremely self-analytical, so if there's anyone out there who knows us, it's ourselves. So, obviously, that's quite important to us. But, why should that matter to the great cosmic understanding of the universe? Why should anyone care that we care about being INTJs? Because without the knowledge that I can be understood and that there are others out there like me, I go back to being on my own again. I'm a singular uniqueness in a world that's full of nothing but the same. It sounds special, but it surprisingly comes with an extremely heavy burden. You feel pressured to live up to the specialness that only you seem to have. Not to mention, it's also bitterly lonely and you start to wonder if maybe you're just an arrogant assh*le who thinks too much of himself. For a while, I didn't think of myself as "human" because it was so mundane; I knew I was something better, higher, more evolved, which can sound awfully pretentious. But knowing that that's just a part of my personality, that that identity crisis is just a part of who I am, it somehow makes everything better.

But, not everyone needs this sort of comfort. At least two of my friends don't need to know they're perfectly normal because as Sentinels, which I think they are, as the most common role out there, they don't feel out of place at all. INTJs are definitely out of place. You know that part from The Matrix where Morpheus tells Neo how he can sense that there's something intangibly wrong with the world, but he can't describe it, he just knows it's there? INTJs have this feeling all the time, and a chunk of that time, it's focused around our very existence, our presence in the "normal" world. Diplomats don't have this problem because they try to connect to the world even if they don't understand it; Explorers just want to explore the world and don't care to understand it; and Sentinels merely want to make sure everything is working as it should be. Analysts however drive themselves crazy with trying to "solve" it, trying to figure out the world. It's like Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy; we're trying to figure out the answer to everything. I don't know if INTJs feel this desire moreso than the other Analyst personalities, but it is a strong desire within us, and the fact that we can always sense something wrong with the world, but can't express it to other people, let alone get them to listen to our theory without thinking we're crazy, it definitely puts a rift between us and everyone else. But that's the great thing about 16P's--there are others out there who have experienced the rift. I'm not as alone as I thought.

Now, I wouldn't say finding out I'm an INTJ has been a completely positive experience. I do almost treat it as a second religion or ideology. I identify with being an INTJ as much as I identify with being a Catholic and I've been Catholic for far longer (I think). I feel more like an INTJ and Catholic than I do an American. So, as a result of this fanaticism, I've tried to build myself up into the perfect INTJ. I model my life off the best and (what I think are) the most defining INTJ qualities, which to some extent has ostracized me more from people as I try to live 100% free and independent which means I have to bear all my problems by myself, and that does get quite difficult sometimes--it's hard to rely totally on yourself when you're still fallible and it's yourself who is responsible for your biggest disappointments.

But, overall, I would say that discovering I was an INTJ was very good for me. Even if I can't completely explain why, it has done me good and I think will continue to do me good. I like being an INTJ and I wouldn't want to be any other MBTI personality.

Keep writing, my friends.

More About Bryan C. Laesch:

My Opera:

Amazon: My Author Page, My Influencer Page
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Twitter: BryanofallTrade
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7 Secrets You Should Know About Dating An INTJ: A Response to Introvert, Dear

Hey, everyone. Happy New Year, and all that.

Anyway, I haven't been working on my blog like I said I would be, so to get back in the swing of things, I'm going to do another response blog and hopefully, sometime next week, I'll have something original again on the INTJ side of things.

So, this post is in response to Introvert, Dear's "7 Secrets You Should Know About Dating An INTJ," and honestly, I can tell you that these aren't "secrets." They likely used the word "secrets" as clickbait because many of these traits are well-documented within our personality typing. But here's the question: how accurate are they? Similar to my articles on how I buck the INTJ stereotype, do I buck any of these? Are not INTJs individuals within the already individualistic typing of INTJ? Let's see.

1. INTJs are fiercely loyal.

This is definitely true. So long as you're a good, steady friend, or even if you're a great, unsteady friend, we'll be loyal to you until death. We're very much like dogs in this regard, although we lose that dogginess when it comes to judging you.

Yes, I do think less of you for going to the bathroom with the door open.
(Even when no one's around.)

But just imagine though if you weren't our friend, but something more. Something closer and something more special. Our "heart" to an extent, and if we feel like being romantic. Our loyalty, although conditional, to a friend already measures at a 9 or a 10, so imagine what it would be for you with whom we share a life, a bed, and a love with. That is a loyalty you'll never experience anywhere else.

2. We want you to succeed.

Do we? I know that sounds strange for me to ask, but to some extent it is true. I do tend to feel a little envious of the victories and accomplishments of my friends. And throughout life, I've never been genuinely excited for someone else's success, potential or achieved. It's only when I'm directly involved do I feel a sense of satisfaction for your success. However, there are two caveats to this.

The first is that that whole explanation is for a friend, not for a significant other. The second is that it is often said, as I just did in #1, couples tend to share their lives. One's success can be regarded as the couple's success due to the love and support given and shared between the two. So, although I have had no experience with a long-term relationship, it is my belief that I would want my girlfriend/wife to succeed in all her endeavors, and not because I want to share in her success, but because I want her to be happy and satisfied. I want to take on her yoke and her burdens to help her in her times of need, and I want her to be at ease in life because I don't want her to suffer. And I personally would never lay claim to any part of my wife's accomplishments if all I did for her was support her and tell her she could do it.

3. But please leave this INTJ alone.

This one is a little strange, mainly because of the verbiage chosen to express it. Now, I did quote the listing from the site, so it might make more sense within the proper context, but it does still bother me.

See, there's a very big difference between telling someone "Leave me alone" and "I occasionally need some time and space to myself." The former is equivalent to telling someone to go to Hell, and the latter isn't. So, what I would say here is effectively what I've already said: there will be times when you'll need to leave your INTJ alone. You may not understand their need, but if you respect it, they'll respect your need to not be left alone. Alone time for INTJs is refreshing and recuperating. Some people call it "charging our batteries," but I think "recovery" is a more apt term. It's a purge, a cleansing, a return to order and balance. And there will be times when we need to recover from you, but the good news is, we might need you to help us recover from something else.

4. We ‘think’ our feelings.

This one I don't know about because I'm not 100% sure if I think my feelings. I'm pretty sure I feel my feelings; I am in touch with my emotions because every time I've tried to outthink or outsmart them, it's always backfired horribly. While it might be true for other or most INTJs out there that they think their feelings instead of feeling them, I don't. However, I do try to remain as rational as possible despite my feelings, and there are times when I will act contrary to them unless my feelings overwhelm my intellect. It's happened before; it's not pretty.

So, for this one, I would say you should ask your INTJ and pay attention to how they actually deal with their feelings because not all of us think them, and if you just assume we all do, that'll be more insulting to us than you not understanding our feelings at all because it bewrays the fact that you didn't take the time and effort to get to know us.

5. You need to be a lot more blunt.

This is pretty true. While some INTJs definitely pick up on subtlety, you shouldn't leave it to chance. Not to mention, INTJs can be very litigious; if you say one thing and mean another, we're going to take what you said as what you want rather than whatever contradiction you have in mind. If you're not fine, tell us. If you're not happy, tell us. To say one thing and mean another is not "just how some people are," it's childish and immature. One of the reasons why we're so honest and direct is because of how much we appreciate honesty and directness, so don't be afraid to use it. Especially because INTJs ain't got time for games. We've got great works ahead of us, and your mind games are keeping us from them, which will only serve to push us more toward our work and away from you.

6. When we argue, it doesn’t mean we’re upset.

This is another strange one to me because while I do get that INTJs are known to argue for the sake of arguing, when you put the word "argue" in the context of "relationship," you're not talking about speculating on the morality of cloning, you're talking about things like who's going to do the dishes, when's the next time we're going to have sex, or why can't you turn off the lights as you're leaving the room. You know, things that couples argue over; not philosophical musings. Not to mention, a good and easily understandable INTJ will make it clear that they're arguing for the sake of the argument. They'll ask a lot of "What if..." questions or make "If... then..." sort of statements, which are clearly indicative of hypothetical questions, not argumentative.

If you're willing to do anything for me,
then that should include anal.

Or that you're willing to avenge me.

Not to mention, I would expect any balanced and sane person capable of realizing this without it needing to be explained. Only immature, inexperienced, self-conscious, and/or insane sort of people can't recognize a hypothetical argument. But I will admit that some INTJs are dense enough to use a word like "argue" when they mean "philosophize," which is strange to me because I would've thought more INTJs would've been more drawn to "philosophize" than "argue" because it's so much clearer and more mystic.

7. We’re hard to shop for.

I don't think so. It's known that INTJs are extremely practical and intellectual. This basically means that books and gift cards are fair game, and they're not hard to get a hold of. While it is true that INTJs have classical and elegant tastes, this doesn't mean you have to buy us statues or artwork. In fact, I'd prefer a CD from a favorite band over a gigantic statue of a naked woman any day. I appreciate the thought and expense, but it's not necessary.

Plus, if I'm dating you, I'd rather see you naked anyway.

The other thing that gets me about this one is that if you're dating someone, or even if you're just friends, that should mean that you know something about that person. And if you know something about them, you should be able to infer what they like and what they don't like, and ergo, what they want and what they don't want. So, how little do you know a person if you can't even think of one thing they may want?

Plus, with INTJs there's the added bonus that one of the greatest things you can give them is the gift of you. I know that sounds counterintuitive to the great, lonely image of the INTJ, but there are very few people out there that we genuinely appreciate and want to be around, and if we've agreed to date you, guess what! We want to be around you. And we'll love you all the more if you find a way to trigger our intelligence and let us talk your ear off about something we know or some deep revelation we've had recently. So, we're actually not hard to shop for.

Alright, everyone. That'll do it for this week. Hopefully, next week I'll finally have that article up about how finding out I'm an INTJ changed my life. That, or why it behooves INTJs to be religious. There's an interesting story to go along with that one that happened to me just recently. But, until then...

Keep writing, my friends.

More About Bryan C. Laesch:

My Opera:

Amazon: My Author Page, My Influencer Page
Facebook: Bryan C. Laesch, Bawdy Scholar
Patreon: Bryan C. Laesch
Twitter: BryanofallTrade
Youtube: Bryan C. Laesch, Bawdy Scholar