Can You Pigeonhole Yourself through MBTI?

So, here’s a question for all you MBTI nerds: do you fear that knowing your personality type will pigeonhole you into acting a certain way and therefore limit your potential? For instance, if you’re an ESTJ and you’re proud to be, would you alter your behavior to fit the ESTJ stereotype better, even if it means limiting your life and potential as a result?

I can’t answer that for ESTJs, but I’m pretty sure I know the answer for INTJs. But before I do that, let’s back up a little.

A few weeks back, typology came up at my young adult group, when one of the ISFJs present again mentioned her criticism that she fears that MBTI could pigeonhole a person into a stagnating role. Originally, I thought her criticism was legitimate because there are people who will give up what they like and accept something they don’t simply because of peer pressure or because they’re following the group. Like I said, that was what I originally thought.

Here we are now a few weeks later and I am somewhat removed from MBTI, i.e. the fact that I haven’t written a blog post in quite a while. However, I did get back into it after discovering that a girl I had a crush on was an INFP. Things didn’t work out, but checking the compatibility between INTJs and other types has shown me that despite the fact I have wandered slightly from the topic, I am no less INTJ than I was several months back. All the INTJ traits and qualities I saw listed on the compatibility sites are just as true as they were when I first discovered my type. The only “thing” that happened was that I was not as acutely aware of my INTJ-ness in daily life.

I can’t deny that some things have changed as much in my life recently has--we are products of our experiences after all. But did those changes affect my personality, or merely change my direction in life?

There’s no denying that when a person becomes flush with cash and saddled with responsibility that there are likely to be changes in their life. Back when I was working at a pet store, it was my intention of merely buying four new tires for my car, but now that I’m making more than twice what I did, and this is before my initial performance review which will net me even more bank, and due to my car needing a water pump, head gasket, and strut, and I received a tip that this winter may be particularly brutal, I’m seriously looking at getting a new car. Such a thing was impossible when I made $10.15/hr and worked part-time. But at $12/hr with a soon promised raise to at least $14/hr at full time, leasing a new Kia or buying a used BMW is not so unrealistic. Such an influx of monies also brings promising new opportunities in the dating world, what I can do with my free time, and being able to pay off my student loans faster.

All of the above are pleasures I have had to forego due to my previous Bohemian and idealistic desire of trying to live off my writing dreams, which might make one think that I’m developing my Extraverted Sensing (Se) at the cost of my Introverted Intuition (Ni). I would argue however that I’ve been stagnating my Se and overworking my Ni due to my low income. Such pleasures have always been within the realm of my tastes, and none of the above desires have made me forget my dreams--I’m still writing after all and recently I’ve been trying to get the t-shirt business under way. (Resizing images is such a pain in the…!)

And as always, I’m still ambitious. Under the supervision of my… supervisor, who had my position before me, he has praised my smallest bouts of initiative which has made me all the hungrier for greater success. While I originally intended to use my day job for propelling my dreams, given the company I work for now and how it’s built, I may become a long-standing fixture in its employ--or at least for longer than I planned. There’s a lot of opportunity there for an ambitious self-starter. 

Getting back to the topic, while finding out I was an INTJ has made me more aware of how I think and how such thinking can be predictable due to my known type, I by no means feel compelled to act in such a way that would make me more INTJ than I am. Calling me an INTJ is not a label or even a restriction--it is merely a classification and clarification of my essential nature, like calling a gem an emerald instead of just a crystal.

Was I pigeonholed by MBTI? No… I saw myself.

***

I'm sorry it took so long to write this, you guys. Life has gotten in the way, plus I'm working 40 hours a week now, and I'm trying to get serious about self-publishing and my t-shirt biz. It's difficult to imagine that just a year ago I was working at a pet store with merely the idea of staying there for a year or longer, and now I'm doing much more.

Anyway, I'll try to be more prompt about the next blog, and it is my hope to have a proper author website up eventually. Until then...

Keep writing, my friends.

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5 Challenges INTJs Face in Leadership Positions

Hey, everyone.

So for the past few months, I've had the rather dubious distinction of serving as a part of my young adults' group leadership at my parish. During that time I have experienced some challenges and troubles that most INTJs never face since they don't usually lead. Why? Well, I'm not entirely sure, but I suspect freedom and an inability to deal with certain people are the prime reasons. But there are other challenges. Let's go over some of them.

1. Relating to Certain Members

As stated above, INTJs have difficulties dealing with certain people. I have stumbled across such an individual in my group, and for whatever reason, he and I seem destined to be at odds with each other forever. It's not that we necessarily disagree with each other--it's just that we think differently. I like to think along a single track and keep my thoughts within a specific topic. He however will get one thing about the topic stuck in his head that is only vaguely related and digress with a rant. This drives me crazy because, not only is what he's saying off topic and can be said later, but also because I feel as if I have lost control of the situation, and a leader should always be in control.

Another point is that I believe leaders should be able to relate to those "under their command", especially when those people are a part of a church-affiliated group established to foster the Faith. This means the group has to be inclusive, including my leadership, but as we know, INTJs aren't inclusive--we're exclusive. As a result, this comes off as a lack of empathy and an inability to see situations from different perspectives. Therefore, certain members of such a group might find an INTJ leader off-putting, resulting in their departure, which is obviously not what you want in an inclusive, church-affiliated group. So being able to relate to everyone, or at the very least, making sure that they feel like they've been heard and validated, is a boon to a leader in such a position.

2. Perfect Plans

It is well-known that INTJs are suckers for perfection. However, a question we should ask ourselves about this is whether or not INTJs really pursue perfection, or merely what they think is perfection. I raise this inquiry because, as mentioned above, I sometimes feel as though I have lost control of the group which I believe a good leader would never allow to happen. Is that true or is that what I think?

Regardless, the reason why INTJs want their plans to go perfectly is because they have a desire for total control, which relates back to their desire for freedom. That may seem contradictory, the desire for both freedom and control, but in order for an INTJ to have the freedom to interact with the world in the way he wants, he must have the power to do so, which is another way of saying he must be able to control the scenario to allow him the greatest freedom possible.

However, when you start adding other people to the equation, an INTJ's carefully crafted plan begins to fall apart as it doesn't allow for the freedom of others. As a result, INTJs can become upset and demoralized, and the old saying "the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry" seems more like a mocking insult rather than a sagacious comfort.

3. Getting Your Point or Passion Across

I don't know if it's because INTJs are clumsy in social situations or if it's because we're men of ideas rather than words, but it can be quite difficult for us to get our points or passions across to other people. For instance, our group recently "lost" some members (people are free to come and go as they please). As a result, I asked the remainder of the group what keeps them there, and more specifically, what will keep them there. However, I also wanted to make it clear that if they have any high ideals for the group, then they will need to take action to make sure those ideals come to fruition. However, their response was quite lack luster and I had the feeling I wasn't getting through, which was frustrating.

4. Being Frustrated with Lack of Commitment

When INTJs struggle to get their points across, it can result in a lack of commitment from the other parties involved, leaving the INTJ further frustrated. Without complete understanding from everyone, some people will invariably become lost and they won't know what is expected of them, resulting in them not giving their all or even following instructions. This is more or less the last point taken a step or two further, but it's not limited to that. INTJ leaders can just as easily experience this phenomenon anywhere, especially if they own a company and their employees are not enthused about building the company.

Another scenario where an INTJ can experience this is if he has a partner (not a romantic partner). If the partner aspires to the same ideals as the INTJ, or even to higher ones, then it really burns the ass of the INTJ when the partner isn't pulling their weight. This can result in the INTJ burning out as they shoulder more than their fair share of the burden of leading.

5. The Desire to Quit

And finally, we have the culmination of all the problems into one--the desire to quit. This is perhaps the greatest challenge an INTJ can face as a leader. Let's face it, things are easier when the INTJ only has to worry about himself and not others. If he fails, he does so because of his failings, but if he succeeds, he does so because he's worthy of success. When other people are added to the equation, the chances of success or failure are radically altered and outside of the INTJ's control. This may require the INTJ to trust or rely on someone else, which can work out, but we all know which way INTJs think it will go, resulting in their "better not to try at all than to try and fail anyway" attitude.

Conclusion

So, what can be done for the INTJ who finds himself in a leadership position? Well, not much. The best way of avoiding these problems is for an INTJ to stick it out by himself. Unfortunately, sometimes something truly spectacular happens when you choose to bring others into your life. They have their own gifts and they may bring value into a lonely INTJ's life. In the end, being a leader may just be worth it.

***

I'm sorry it took so long for this to come out. As I mentioned before, holidays tend to screw me up, but also because I wasn't really happy with any specific version of this post. I don't know how many times I edited it, but it's been through the wringer, and even now, I'm not entirely sure it's good.

For next time, I'll cover either the INTJ perspective of religion or the INTJ's relationship to the super villain persona. It should be interesting regardless of what I choose. Until then...

Keep writing, my friends.

More About Bryan C. Laesch:

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Quick and Dirty INTJ Thoughts #7: Hypocritical INTJs

Hey, everyone.

Today, I'm talking about hypocritical INTJs. Unfortunately, there's not much that can be said as the meme really does explain it all, but let's see what I can squeeze from this stone.

So, as the meme says, there are no hypocritical INTJs. Why is this? Well, when you have a person that bases his entire life on logic and being right, he's going to make sure that his total existence follows suit. To not do so would be a violation of this logic, and if it violates logic, it can't be right. Remember 2+2=4, not 5.That's what it's like to be inside an INTJ's mind: it's like one giant math equation that needs solving.

But what does happen when you find a hypocritical INTJ? There are two possibilities depending on the situation: 1. Weaker, less developed INTJs will offer excuses and try to justify their hypocrisy, or 2. Regarding points that INTJs don't really care about, they may try to save face by pretending to be aloof and questioning whether or not "it" really matters.

While neither of those are good outcomes, the real tragedy comes from the fact that because INTJs' minds work so fast and argue so gracefully, they may actually convince someone in scenario 1, or their quick response will disarm and defuse the situation in scenario 2, basically ripping the wind out of their critic's sails. While it may seem like the critic can't win in either scenario, the truth is that no one really wins, especially not the INTJ. In scenario 2, pride is preserved, but under false pretenses, which the INTJ recognizes as false and will do what it takes to fix the problem without being noticed so he can maintain the lie he's living, and in both scenarios dishonesty of any kind is anathema to INTJs, hence self-destruction is not far behind.

But what about strong INTJs, or INTJs that do care? Well, while they won't accept defeat gracefully, because the only thing better than being right is being effortlessly right all the time, the INTJ will re-evaluate their lives and thought processes, and make the necessary changes. Sometimes these changes take days, but most often they're almost instant. And in some cases, the INTJ may apologize for being wrong or smug, depending on the situation.

***

Well that was surprising. I didn't think I would get so much. Of course though, I do re-write and edit thoroughly, so the above was not the first attempt. Anyway, I admit I have been neglecting this blog as of late. Other things have been occupying time. Another issue is that I didn't really have any good ideas for topics--nothing that could light a fire under my butt. But, due to some recent events in my life, I was able to come up with three new ones. The first of which will be 5 Challenges INTJs Face in Leadership Positions. Until then...

Keep writing, my friends.

More About Bryan C. Laesch:

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Can INTJs Be Rich?

Hey, everyone.

So, about a month ago, I became a business owner. That's right; I am the Member Manager to two new LLCs: Bryan C. Laesch, my author business, and Transcendent Tees, my t-shirt business. But I don't know too much about business, so I started watching a bunch of YouTube videos and putting together a Business playlist for my personal use. The videos cover multiple topics ranging from taxes, being an LLC versus being a sole proprietor, why you should set yourself up as an S-Corp, to even videos on becoming a successful businessman/entrepreneur.

One of the videos I discovered was called "10 Signs You Won't Be Rich" by the channel Valuetainment. The channel is hosted Patrick Bet David, the CEO of a billion-dollar insurance company based out of Austin. In this video he breaks down ten reasons, hurdles, signs, whatever as to why a person may never be rich. And this gave me the idea for this particular blog post because while INTJs aren't necessarily known for being rich, we are known for being successful; in some circles, the only personality more successful than ourselves is ENTJ. So, I decided to look at Mr. Bet David's ten signs as to why someone won't be rich and see if they are hurdles for INTJs. Might there be proof for Bet David's argument held within the personality traits of the INTJ? Let's find out.

1. You don´t like rich people.

I wouldn't say INTJs don't like rich people so much as we don't like anyone in general. By that logic though, since we don't like anyone, we won't become anyone else, including the poor and average. On the one hand, that's good news for INTJs that want to be rich and extraordinary, however by not liking anybody we may not become like anybody else ever.

In all seriousness though, if INTJs had to choose which sort of people to like, rich or poor, they'd probably choose rich. To be rich means to have resources which means to have freedom, and INTJs can never have enough freedom. So, we likely don't possess a dislike of the rich.

2. You think rich people are special.

The only people INTJs believe are special are those closest to them because it takes a certain kind of person to stand in the presence of an INTJ. Now, whether that's because INTJs are special themselves or more because these people have a lot of patience is a topic up for debate, but INTJs are not likely to think of the rich as being any more special than themselves. INTJs know they can do anything anyone else can do, even run a business. It may require us to leave our comfort zone, but that doesn't preclude us from doing it. Therefore, this is not a hurdle for INTJs.

3. You don´t spend enough time learning.

Do I really need to cover this one? I think we all know this isn't a problem for INTJs. The only way I could see this as a hurdle is if INTJs are not committed to learning the right things. They may become an expert in a particular field, but if they don't know how to turn that into a business, they may not get anywhere.

4. People easily make you feel guilty.

I apologize for the syntax and diction. This is how it was worded. I also feel a bit of an explanation is needed.

Bet David's point here was that with every comment directed at you, you feel guilty. People may not be out to shame you, but everything they say makes you feel guilty. I think this has to do with some sort of inferiority or impersonator complex as if you are this sensitive to criticism, then you likely don't think anything you do is a good idea or decision. As a result, if you made a choice to lead your life in a new way or start your own business, you'll instantly shut it down as soon as someone else says, "I don't think that's a good idea" or "You'll never make it."

I don't think this is a problem for INTJs. For starters, we don't feel guilty about anything we do as long as we've carefully considered the consequences and our reasons for our actions. If we have a whole list of reasons for doing what we do, you won't be able to make us feel guilty for doing it. The only way we can feel guilty is if we've acted in some way contrary to our own conscience, which is almost impossible unless we've gone through some sort of significant change.

5. You worry too much about what people think about you. &

6. You worry too little about what the right people (customers) think about you.

I'm combining these two since they're related. I think INTJs do worry about what other people think about them, however, this only pertains to the image that INTJs want to project and protect. This image is one of confidence, intelligence, efficiency, success, and competence. So long as people see these things in us, we don't really care what else they may see, even if they think we're cold, heartless, or a jerk. And since some of those qualities we want people to see in us are also qualities of successful businessmen, I don't think either of these two are an issue for us.

7. You listen to every single thing your parents tell you to do.

Bet David's point here is that while he loves his parents, they can't tell him diddly-squat about being an entrepreneur, businessman, or owning stocks and bonds, so why on earth would he listen to their advice about such things?

He definitely has a point. INTJs are so different from everyone else that I fear many of us are born into families that don't understand us; I know that's my situation. So, what can my parents tell me about being an indie author, a self-publisher, or even an online t-shirt business? Not much. Sure, their hearts are in the right place as they don't want failure and suffering to befall me, but the problem with that is that I would have to follow every bit of advice they have to give me. That wouldn't necessarily be terrible as my Old Man makes $100G+, has five weeks vacation, incredible benefits, a practically new house, a leased vehicle, a wife and healthy children, stock options, could end up retiring with half a million dollars, and he has all the comforts of home, but... that's not the life I want to live. Some of those things I want, but I think I could do better in a few areas.

I'm sure I'm not alone. I'm sure most INTJs feel this way. All those things are nice, but we want more or less. Therefore, we need to take a different path in life which means not listening to everything our parents tell us.

8. You're too loyal to family traditions.

Now, where Mr. Bet David says "traditions", he actually means "habits". He does mention some family traditions like religion and politics, but he also mentions things like diet and what to complain about. Regardless, his point is that some family traditions and habits are extremely limiting. If your father was a coal miner, and your grandfather was a coal miner, and your great-grandfather was a coal miner, and that's the reason why you're a coal miner, that's also the reason why you're not going to be rich. If you follow habits and traditions simply because that's what it means to be a Johnson, then you're never going to be rich.

As you can probably guess, this isn't an issue for INTJs. We're known as the enemy to tradition, although it should be said that we're only the enemy to pointless, redundant, or archaic traditions. Some traditions are good and should be preserved, however they will have to face a mountain of INTJ-brand scrutiny. Anyway, an INTJ is not likely to follow these sorts of traditions and habits, especially if they get in the way of what an INTJ truly desires. So if an INTJ desires to be rich, he will cut himself off from whatever he needs to.

9. You´re an expert at making excuses.

INTJs hate excuses, too. Again, this comes down to limiting beliefs. As long as you don't put limits on your beliefs, no excuse will hold up. I've caught myself doing this from time to time where I say to myself "I can't do that", and then my brain asks, "Why not?" and then I have to re-evaluate my position. In the end, my brain is often right. I have no excuse other than I choose to be lazy and comfortable with what I have rather than attempting to face a challenge and potentially failing. Sure, no one likes to fail, but if you really want what you really want, no excuses are going to hold you back. And since INTJs are masters of challenging thinking, including their own, there's really no reason why this should be a hurdle.

10. Your attitude sucks.

For this one, I don't really know what to think. Bet David's point was that money, and the world in general, is turned off my bad personalities. He says that money and people are attracted to positive attitudes. The problem with that though is how do you define "positive" and "negative"? On the one hand, INTJs believe they can do anything in the world, but they're also extremely critical; we believe in constantly improving ourselves, but we're not afraid to tell people that they suck and why; INTJs are ready to take the world by storm, but we don't necessarily want to share it, and if we do, it's only with certain people. 

So, I don't know what to think about this one. I think the INTJ personality is a good one (I am biased though), however, I will readily admit that a lot people probably don't like us because we're either too weird or too intense for them. They love what we think about ourselves and what we long to accomplish, but we do so with the attitude of a burning rhino looking for water. Now, it could be that we just don't match subjective definitions of "negative", but I'm still not sure, so this could be one sign that INTJs have that they won't be rich.

Conclusion:

So, can INTJs be rich? Well, we're missing nine of the ten hurdles mentioned by Bet David, which means according to him, we have at least a 90% chance of being rich someday, and that's a pretty good chance. Unfortunately, I haven't met many INTJs, so I cannot corroborate this claim. I guess I'll just have to find out myself through my own businesses.

***

Well, that was fun. I know I don't do many of these posts anymore, mostly because I felt like I was stealing someone else's content and just riding their coattails, but Mr. Bet David's video was a fun analysis since it pertains to many INTJs' possible futures.

For my next post, I'm going to do another Quick and Dirty INTJ Thought. The last one wasn't as popular as I thought it would be, but they do light up on Pinterest and Instagram. Anyway, until then...

Keep writing, my friends.

More About Bryan C. Laesch:

Amazon: My Author Page
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Quick and Dirty INTJ Thoughts #6: Fun Should Have A Point

Hey, everyone.

As promised, I'm back with another Quick and Dirty INTJ Thoughts... much later than promised.

Anyway, so this one is about how INTJs don't do anything solely for the fun of it. My inspiration for this one comes from recent events in my life. Two weeks ago I went to a friend's house and played poker with him and a few others. Now, they all seemed to be there to have fun as they really got into the trash talk, and they were loose and fast with their betting. Not me; I was very cautious. I was there to win--I was out for blood--I wanted to make some money, honey! And I did. Not a lot, but hey, I still got paid.

Now, this isn't the only experience I've had with doing something and hoping to meld fun with a point. Back in the day, I was a part of an archery league, and often times, the range owner's wife would ask me if I was having fun. I would lie to her and say "yes." The reason I wasn't having fun was because I wasn't shooting well, and to be honest, I've got better things to do than suck at archery.

Basically, I don't want to partake in any activity that has no purpose. I'm too old to be wasting my time on fruitless endeavors and challenges. True, the only way I'm going to get better at certain activities is by practicing them, which means occasionally messing up or sucking at them, but let's be honest, performing under pressure has its virtues as it forces you to adapt and survive, whereas in rewardless practice, it doesn't matter if you fail because there's nothing at stake.

In conclusion, I don't do anything solely for fun. There are things I do for fun, but they also help me to fulfill a challenge and/or reach a goal. My fun has a point.

***

For next week, I found a video called "10 Signs You Won't Be Rich" by Valuetainment. So, here's the question: can INTJs be rich? We'll find out next time.

Until then...

Keep writing, my friends.

More About Bryan C. Laesch:

Amazon: My Author Page
Facebook: Bryan C. Laesch, Bawdy Scholar
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Instagram: Bryan C. Laesch
Twitter: BryanofallTrade
Youtube: Bryan C. Laesch, Bawdy Scholar