Tales of Horror Excerpt: RE: Encounter

Hey, everyone.

So, because I'm not as brilliant as I pretend to be, I totally forgot to post an excerpt from Tales of Horror: Macabre Monsters of Michigan to bait people into reading it. This would have been a great idea for the first day I offered the book for free rather than the last. Yes, that's right. Today is the last day you can download Tales of Horror for free. So, get it today (8/22/17): https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07435BPQR.

After today, I won't be able to make it free again for at least 90 days. So, hopefully the following is enough to whet your appetite.

And if you want to make sure you don't miss another offer like this, subscribe to my Books and Other Writings mailing list: http://eepurl.com/c0sMdb. And if you're into cryptozoology and the paranormal, why not subscribe to my mailing list so I can keep you apprised of the world of weird: http://eepurl.com/c0sNW5.

Alright, here's the excerpt. It's from the short story RE: Encounter. It tells the tale of a man in self-imposed exile and his battle with a terrifying beast that defies explanation.

To: SuperCuteTXNGirl75

From: RichMICHFarmer73

Subject: RE: RE: Stuff

Date: 10 May 2000

Dear Kelly,

It’s okay, you don’t have to be sorry about my parents. I made peace with the whole thing years ago. To be honest, I was never very close with them. I was actually closer to my driver—yeah, we were so well off I had a driver. Y’know, mumsy and dadsy couldn’t spare time to take their little boy to school, esp. when I had to go to school outside of Detroit—I’m sure you know why. But my mother didn’t do much besides read and take care of the little yappy dog that I begged them for. Well, I didn’t ask for Itsy-Bitsy—that bitch. My mother was the one that chose it. Anyway…

My driver, James, was a cool guy. He had originally been a butler in New England for a few decades. A real gentleman, but he would spend his vacations hunting and fishing. He would often tell me how depressed he was to be in the city and how marvelous the great outdoors were. He told me all of his hunting and fishing stories, at least three times each. It didn’t matter to me that I’d heard them before. I loved them all and he was a great storyteller. James and the zoo are what made me really passionate about animals and the outdoors and part of the reason why I don’t like the city. (The city’s already dirty and dangerous by itself.) But after my parents died, I decided that I didn’t require him anymore. I knew how to drive, but I wasn’t allowed to since that was “the help’s job.” When I let James go, I gave him a nice cushy severance pay and I still call him occasionally.

Good to hear you have so much experience with firearms and bows. Now I won’t have to teach you as much when we go hunting. And of course we can go fishing in the Great Lakes. We can do some bowfishing and later some skinny dipping, ha ha ha.

Sincerely,

Rawlin

P.S. Yes, the reason why I write these emails so formally is because of my upbringing.

P.P.S. Uh, you asked about the calf. Unfortunately, he didn’t make it. But, the circumstances concerning his death are a little weird. I’m not sure if you want to hear about it.

To: SuperCuteTXNGirl75

From: RichMICHFarmer73

Subject: Weird Creature

Date: 15 May 2000

Dear Kelly,

Well, if you’d really like to know… A couple of days before I wrote you back last time, something strange happened around here late one evening. I was in the house, reclining after the day’s work. I was sitting at my computer about to write back when I heard a commotion from outside. It was faint but I was able to recognize it as coming from my herd. Believe it or not, cattle make more noises than just “moo.” If they feel threatened, they’ll warn others by snorting and stamping the ground. If they’re distressed or in pain, they do “moo,” but it has a different pitch. Well, I heard this from the house, so I got a flashlight and went out to investigate.

As I got closer to the herd, I could see what was left of a great furor. Dust was kicked up from the ground, the herd was spread out with all the calves on the outside, and there was a distressed moo coming from the center.

When I investigated, I found the calf on the ground ripped apart; his mother was making most of the racket. I had never seen anything like it. Something had bitten into the calf’s neck and tore it out. There were also claw marks on his flanks. Now, this is weird as hell for a variety of reasons: 1. The calves should be in the center of the herd if they’re attacked and the herd should be clumped together. Meaning it was either able to sneak into the herd or was able to break it up. 2. Sometimes wolves will rip open or break the neck of smaller prey, but this is a damn calf! They are not small. 3. There shouldn’t be any wolves on my farm in the first place! There is a fence built around it, but no predator could jump it.

I unfortunately couldn’t inspect the calf too closely because his mother was mad with grief. She almost charged me a few times. So the next day, I called the vet to have him examine the situation and see if he could tell what did it. I had to use Lady and Duke to drive the herd away from the body. He said that it was definitely a predator and looked like a wolf, but the tooth and claw marks were too big. He also mentioned that the herd seemed restless and scared. And to be honest, I’m a little alarmed myself.

About a week ago, I saw this weird creature. I was driving home from a small venture in town picking up feed. I was the only one on a dirt, country road and it’s a long drive, but the day was beautiful. It was warm, so I had my window rolled down enjoying the breeze and I was watching the sunset. The sky was aflame with beautiful yellows, oranges, and reds. But, as I was looking out my window, I saw this dark wedge shape suddenly rise out of the tall grass that lines the road. As I got closer, I could tell it was some kind of canine. The head was quite large and lupine with pointed ears. I didn’t stop for a better look because I was pretty sure it was a wolf. But, there was something off about it—I can’t put my finger on it.

And then as I passed by, it turned its head and it made eye contact sending a shiver down my spine. It had brown fur and black eyes. Another thing that struck me as odd was that it could see over the grass, which I thought was three or four feet high. A wolf or dog sitting down wouldn’t have been able to see over the grass. And if it had been standing on two feet, I should’ve seen its front legs, shouldn’t I? Well, as I drove on watching it in my mirror, it disappeared back into the grass.

I have no idea what it was. Would you know? I’ve never seen a wolf that large in the wild, but with a steady diet, they can weigh close to 200 lbs. But what would it be eating out here? Sure there are wild deer around, but I wouldn’t think there were enough to feed a predator that size. If you have any ideas what it might be, I’d like to hear them.

Until then, this has been Rawlin J. Signing off from Weird Michigan.
 

Should You Go to College If All You Want to Do Is Write?

Hey, everyone. So, let's talk about writing. What's this week's topic?

Answer: Well, that depends. On what? A bunch of stuff actually.

1. What Kind of Writer Are You?

If you're a journalist, going to college does a lot of good for you. For one thing, you can take classes to learn the craft, and believe me, journalism is a different type of writing from creative and academic. Sure, the basic "state your thesis and defend it" is true, but in journalism, you purposely write an article so all the best information is at the top, and the nitty-gritty is below that so that people who aren't interested in details don't have to read them if they don't want to.

The other good thing about going to school for journalism is the internship programs. Assuming you live in a metro area, you're going to find journalism internships all over the place like at magazines, news stations, or even on blogs. The internships will help you build a rapport with people already in the business, give you valuable experience, and build your portfolio which will all be a big help when going to get a job.

What about other kinds of writers?

2. What Is the English Department at Your College Like?

Some English departments support their students very well. I once met a grad of Wayne State who took nothing but creative writing courses because all he wanted to do was write creatively. Now, he probably didn't take 100% creative writing courses, but the fact that WSU's English Department was actually willing to pull the strings necessary to do that for him is pretty big. The department at Wayne did a solid for me as well when they took a course I had taken at MCC that didn't quite transfer over and made it count for some other requirement I was missing so I could graduate on time and be in English Honors.

My point is, does the English Department at your school support your goals and dreams? Will they pull strings so you can work toward your dreams or even within your comfort level, or will they tell you to deal with it? Now, not all adversity is bad or should be avoided, but a caring and supportive English Department who is willing to work with you is a big advantage. I was always under the impression that the rules were the rules, but when I found out that some people were constantly seeing the counselor, I was shocked. Now I know why. So, the English Department is another angle of consideration.

And what if your college has a great English Department?

3. Is A Degree Necessary for Your Specific Area of Writing?

My actual degree.
Surprisingly, I got two of them for some reason.

There are areas of writing that don't require a degree at all, such as blog/content writing, creative writing, and even some technical writing positions. Now, having a degree will show people that you're serious about this writing stuff and that you're "classically trained," but is spending tens of thousands of dollars, which you most likely don't have, on a degree you don't need such a good idea? The answer's no, especially if you aren't making or aren't capable of making money to pay off your debts.

In the arenas of creative, content, and technical writing, experience is king. A degree can help cover your butt if you lack experience, but experience is always better. And in creative writing, networking and establishing a fan base are very important. Sure, you can go to school to learn how to do these things, but the Internet will teach you the basics for free and any time spent not writing or connecting with others is time wasted.

But what if you're still not sure?

4. What Is Your Backup Plan?



Dog training is one of my options.

The world is full of writers and it can be hard to stick out, or even find an online job that you can do regularly and get paid while working on your dreams and goals. So, how are you going to support yourself in the meantime? Many young people who go to college do so because they think once they have a degree, all the doors will open, champagne will fall from the heavens, and life will be made. Not so.

Despite the fact that we make fun of colleges for being "safe spaces" where the namby-pamby snowflakes can cry over Trump winning the election and talk about their feelings, colleges were actually safe spaces long before that. Colleges do not offer real world experience. A week out in the real world is worth a month in college. As a result, you have to be prepared for the harsh realities of the world, otherwise you'll become disillusioned under a mountain of debt, look for an easy way out, and end up voting for a communist like Bernie Sanders. Spoiler Alert: You can't count on that.

So, while you're building yourself up for eventual success, you need to be doing something now so you don't leech off the system or your parents. It doesn't have to be a fancy or well-paying job, just something you can stomach doing for a while. Even if that while is only a few months, it's fine if you want to try something else later. You're young and have few responsibilities, and it's better to experience everything now rather than when you're 40+ with children, a spouse, and a mortgage and you suddenly take an interest in a job that only pays $20/hr just because it looks fun.

Ironically enough, if you're going to school, you'll likely have time on your side. As your student loans or parents pay your way through college, and you'll only be taking 12 to 15 credits per semester, you'll have plenty of time for work: writing, editing, proofreading, networking, and marketing. Seriously, time is a gift--don't waste it.

Alright, so what if you think you may not end up going to college?

5. Are You Disciplined?

One of the arguments for attending college even though all you want to do is write is that going to college will expose you to different writers, styles, and genres. You'll also make friends with people who have similar dreams and even meet a few teachers who aren't just sitting around waiting for tenure. Both sources will be a gold mine for networking.

However, if you're disciplined, you can learn anything and everything you want yourself. The Internet is an amazing source of information on just about everything, libraries are free, and most writer's groups don't have admission fees. And if you have some source of income, you can buy books, attend seminars, and do programs or modules online for a fraction of what college would cost you. And since those programs don't take credit, you'll be forced to save up for them rather drowning yourself with principle and interest.

What Is the Ultimate Answer?

Supposing you're a tl;dr person and you just want the answer straight up, or if you still can't make up your own mind, the straight answer is this: if you're a journalist or plan on teaching, go to school. If however you're a different kind of writer, especially a creative writer, no, don't go to college. Most of what you need to know isn't being taught anywhere in the college system.

The university system is designed for the majority of people--people who want 2.3 kids, a spouse, a house in the suburbs, and who work 9 to 5, Monday through Friday, for the next 30 to 50 years. If you're a creative writer, you're either an artist or an entrepreneur. You're writing because you're passionate about it, and what many people forget about passion is that if you're passionate about something, it means you're willing to suffer for it. We use it to mean that you really love it, but it actually means you love something so much that you're willing to put yourself through hell for it. Just like Jesus did. In fact, we get the word "passion" from the suffering he went through when he was crucified.

It will sometimes feel like critics are actually trying
to crucify you. There may even be a few Judas's along the way.

Ergo, you are in a unique minority that charts itself through inhospitable waters everyday. And for that, you need to know things that most people never learn and don't even want to learn. Your journey will be long and hard, but there are plenty of people who have blazed this trail before and they're willing to help you. You just need to be pointed in the right direction.

For more information on this whole writing thing, I highly recommend the book I'm An English Major--Now What? by Timothy Lemire. It should be required reading for anyone considering majoring in English. In it, Lemire will give you skinny on whether or not it is worth it to pursue a degree, Bachelor's or higher, in regards to what you want to do with the rest of your life.






Keep writing, my friends.

Stalk me everywhere:
BLOG: https://blaeschportfolio.blogspot.com/
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/thewriterbryanlaesch
BS Page: www.facebook.com/bawdyscholar
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/bryanclaesch
PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/bryanclaesch
TUMBLR: https://bryanclaesch.tumblr.com
TWITTER: https://www.twitter.com/BryanofAllTrade
YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLeDVBfO7mR0s-eyGPCZlTQ
https://www.youtube.com/c/bawdyscholar

RWBY: The Novelization: "White" Trailer

On the frozen continent to the north known as Solitas, there was a kingdom known as Atlas. The most influential family of Atlas owned an enormous mansion that was more like a castle and fortress than a home. One of the structures on the property was known as the White Cathedral due to its architecture rather than any religious reason.

The White Cathedral was a great cavernous hall left abandoned long ago and haunted by the ghosts of a resplendent past. The only thing left to guard the hall was a suit of armor, more of a sculpture than an actual bodyguard. But recently, an evil entity had taken up residence within the suit of armor drawn by the family’s bitter resentment towards one another. The entity was a Geist, a creature of Grimm, and by merging its being with the suit of armor, it became a manifestation known as the Arma Gigas.

The possession of the suit of armor had come to the family’s attention, and the father of the family took it upon himself to pull the strings necessary to have the Atlesian military come and destroy it. But when a challenger did finally come, it was not a soldier, but instead a girl. She bore a regal stature wearing a strapless, white combat dress with a white and red-lined bolero. Her long, white hair was tied into a ponytail off to the side of her head rather than behind, and she carried a weapon known as a Multi-Action Dust Rapier.

The girl was Weiss Schnee, heiress to the Schnee Dust Company’s vast fortune.

Weiss willingly walked into the White Cathedral to fight the Arma Gigas herself to prove to her father she could become a huntress. Her father forbade it, but entitled by her sorrow and becoming the loneliest one of all, Weiss was determined to become the strongest huntress in the world.

Weiss stopped before the Arma Gigas regarding it with her blue eyes as it rose. It towered over her and took hold of its gigantic sword. Weiss drew her rapier in her left hand and pointed it at the Grimm. It swung its sword, but Weiss disappeared in a white flash as she dashed around behind the Gigas striking it in the knees.

The Gigas swung again, and Weiss dodged its attack jumping into the air and stabbing it many times over. The Gigas took no damage and whacked Weiss away with one giant swing. Weiss defended herself with her rapier, but she was knocked back several feet sliding against the floor on her toes.

The Gigas leapt at her and brought its sword crashing down. Weiss managed to dodge, but the Gigas moved quickly and hit Weiss again. She was still able to defend herself, but this time she landed on her back.

Weiss flipped back onto her feet and revealed her Semblance by summoning a white glyph beneath her. She dashed forward at impossible speed dodging another swing. She backflipped into the air and made several slashes to the head of the Gigas. Weiss summoned another glyph and shot herself to the ground where with several dainty and dance-like movements, she made several hits to the Gigas’ knees.

She jumped into the air again and used another glyph to propel herself forward. She made several cuts on the Gigas’ chest and then summoned another glyph on which to land. The Gigas swung its sword and Weiss jumped over it, but then the Grimm slammed its enormous fist into her and launched her back several yards.

Weiss went to stand, but found herself nearly beaten. She had little strength left and was out of breath. But worse than that, a jagged spike on the Gigas had connected with her face and left a cut down her left eye. Blood streamed down her face and splashed on the floor.

Weiss managed to stand, but she was forced to keep her eye closed. She pulled the trigger on her rapier and the barrel revolved until it stopped on a form of pale green Dust. Weiss pulled the trigger all the way and the hollow blade of her rapier was filled with the Dust’s energy.

The Gigas charged and swung its sword down on Weiss. She lifted her rapier up and when the Gigas’ sword connected with hers, the pale green Dust took on the shape of a circular shell shielding Weiss from the attack.

Weiss then spun and selected an ice Dust on her rapier. She impaled her blade into the ground and a train of ice crystals shot forward trapping the Gigas’ foot and immobilizing it. But the Gigas was close enough to strike Weiss and it tried to do so, but she jumped onto its sword and switched back to the pale green Dust. She ran up the Grimm’s sword and slashed at its hand. The release of energy caused the Gigas to be disarmed.

Weiss landed on the other side of the Gigas and faced it. It charged her, but she summoned a glyph at her feet and rolled out of the way. The Gigas landed its heavy fist onto the glyph and shattered the stone floor. Weiss waved her hand and the glyph exploded launching the suit of armor into the air.

Weiss waved her sword in a circle and five miniature glyphs appeared. She cast them out and they flew at the Gigas each entrapping a limb and suspending it in the air. Weiss then summoned a glyph beneath her and launched herself into the air. At the apex of her climb, she selected a new experimental form of Dust known only as Ultima. It filled her blade with a glowing white energy, and Weiss shot downward with another glyph and struck the Gigas.

Weiss landed on the floor kneeling and heard the suit of armor clatter against the floor behind her. The Geist Grimm had been defeated.

Weiss stood and wiped the blood from her eye. Now, maybe her father would let her train at Beacon Academy in the Kingdom of Vale.

Keep writing, my friends.

Stalk me everywhere:

BLOG: https://blaeschportfolio.blogspot.com/

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/thewriterbryanlaesch

BS Page: www.facebook.com/bawdyscholar

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/bryanclaesch

PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/bryanclaesch

TUMBLR: https://bryanclaesch.tumblr.com

TWITTER: https://www.twitter.com/BryanofAllTrade

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLeDVBfO7mR0s-eyGPCZlTQ https://www.youtube.com/c/bawdyscholar

RWBY: The Novelization is not endorsed by Rooster Teeth in any way. Views, opinions, and thoughts are all my own. Rooster Teeth and RWBY are trade names or registered trademarks of Rooster Teeth Productions, LLC. © Rooster Teeth Productions, LLC.

Crypto Theory: Are Cryptids Interdimensional Beings?

Hey, everyone. Welcome to my blog. In order to promote my new book, Tales of Horror: Macabre Monsters of Michigan, I've decided to write a few posts on the theories of the substance and origin of the Dogman and other cryptids. I hope you find them enlightening.

Let's get into it.

Theory #1: Interdimensional Beings

In Nick Redfern's book Three Men Seeking Monsters, he and his two fellow paranormal investigating buddies, Jonathan Downes and Richard Freeman, go on a six-week long expedition exploring some of the UK's most fascinating paranormal activity and interviewing some very interesting witnesses. At one point, they explore the idea of something called "Cormons" when they visit a crazy, old witch called Mother Sarah Graymalkin. Mother Sarah explains that Cormons are a type of interdimensional being that the native people of England purposely summoned into our world as a method to repel the Roman invasion.

The idea that Dogman and other cryptids are not actually from our world, but a different one seems likely because although they are humanoid, they are also animal-like. Some people believe that they evolved from something already in our world like the popular theory that the Lizardman is an evolved Troodon, or Linda Godfrey's theory that wolves could have evolved the ability to stand on two feet. But these theories don't really work. In Lizardman's case, Troodon was around much earlier than primates meaning Lizardmen should've been around before us and therefore should be the dominant species. As for Dogman, there are other peculiarities about the Dogman that need to be addressed besides it just being able to stand on its hind legs, like its overwhelming size, advanced intellect, and human-like hands. And when we take these things into account along with the fact that there's nothing like either species in the recent fossil record, I'm convinced they're not from our world.

Another piece of evidence that lends itself well to this perspective is the existence of the Bridgewater Triangle, an area of about 200 square miles within southern Massachusetts where all sorts of strange things are seen including UFOs, balls of fire, orbs, and cryptids. Some people believe the Bridgewater Triangle is a portal from our world into another. Even in Three Men Seeking Monsters, Redfern runs into a lot of people who claim to have walked through or gone through a portal. Add to all this, massive and extensive searches have been conducted to find some of the world's most popular cryptids such as the October 1987 search for the Loch Ness Monster where 20 cruisers methodically scanned the lake with sonar and found nothing. Some may argue that there was a conspiracy to hide the truth, but there's a problem with that--big secrets never stay secret. Remember the Vietnam War? The truth that we weren't the good guys in that war came out real quick. So, I wouldn't put much stock into that theory, and I prefer to think that the reason why the Loch Ness Monster and other cryptids can't be found is because of interdimensional portals.

 

And so, that's my first theory on what cryptids are and where they come from. If you guys are interested in knowing more about Nick Redfern or his crazy adventure, I highly recommend his book. And if you want to know more about Linda Godfrey and her research, I highly recommend her books as well.



But, if you're looking for something a little lighter and purely fictional, why not check out my book Tales of Horror: Macabre Monsters of Michigan. It contains three short stories featuring the Dogman, a sea serpent, and a man who believes himself to be the son of Satan. And if you like it, please leave me a review on Amazon. I greatly appreciate it. (And if for some reason the ad isn't there, click this link: https://www.amazon.com/Tales-Horror-Macabre-Monsters-Michigan/dp/1521889031/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1502422397&sr=8-1&keywords=Tales+of+Horror+Bryan+C.+Laesch.)


Keep writing, my friends.

RWBY Theory: Is Salem the Wicked Witch of Remnant?

Hey there, everyone.

Continuing on with the RWBY Theory series, this week we'll be looking at Salem and what her nefarious plan could be.

But before we begin, I want to remind everyone about my RWBY mailing list so I can keep you all up-to-date about everything I do RWBY related: http://eepurl.com/cWX8Fj. All who join will get to see the newest versions of RWBY: The Novelization ahead of everyone else. And if you really want to show me the love, support me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.con/bryanclaesch. The first few will be privy to the novelizations of the White and Black trailers before their official release.

Let's get started.

"And I can't wait... to watch you burn!"

There's a lot of mystery surrounding Salem. Who is she? What is she? What does she want? What's her plan? And where the hell is her "domain?" Seriously, that place looks like Hell. Where on Remnant is this?

But first things first, who is Salem besides being Ozpin's foil and potentially the antagonist of RWBY? I say potentially because she could be a puppet for someone else, or not working alone. I was trolling around Pinterest one day when I found a pin that theorized Summer was supposed to be Dorothy on her way to see the White Witch, kind of like the plot from The Wizard of Oz. This sounded strange to me so I googled "White Witch" along with "Oz," and guess what I found.

Well, I didn't find any supposed "White Witch," but I did find out that L. Frank Baum, writer of The Wonderful Land of Oz, apparently wrote other books all about the witches of Oz. And as I was coursing through the fictional history, I had a brain wave: there were two wicked witches in Oz! And the story's not that different from the original books.





So, here's what I'm thinking: Salem is the Wicked Witch of East Remnant. Why East Remnant? Well, besides the fact that the story is headed for Mistral, Tyrian found RNJR pretty damn quickly. And then he made it back to Salem pretty damn quickly. If Salem's Domain was across Remnant, there'd be no way in hell Tyrian could find RNJR and get back that fast. As we've seen in the show, it's taken somewhere between 6 to 8 months for RNJR to get to Mistral, and Blake and Sun were on that ship headed to Menagerie for at least a couple of days. And, Oscar lives on Anima and came across Hazel while travelling to Mistral. So, Salem's Domain must be somewhere in the East.

But there's a problem: We're still missing three Maidens and at least three relics, possibly four. Unless we're going to find two of each in Volume 5, it's too early for a final showdown with Salem, although a showdown of some sort might be the Vol. 5 climax. And! I remember Kerry, Monty, and Miles talking about how much material they have, and it sounds like lot. I think RWBY could be 10 to 12 seasons long. Ergo, it's possible that Salem isn't the only boss, or even the biggest boss. There could be a Wicked Witch of West Remnant.

Have you met my twin sister? She lives in Vacuo.

Next, what the hell is Salem? How come she looks grim? Get it? No, but seriously, is she a Grimm or the creator of the Grimm? Is that why she looks the way she does--she created the Grimm in her image? If that's true, how old is she? Has she been around since man first stepped onto Remnant?

Well, in episode 1, Salem says, "Mankind has grown quite fond of recounting the exploits of heroes and villains forgetting so easily that we are remnants, byproducts of a forgotten past." She lumps her lot in with humans when she says "we," meaning she's likely human. But is it still possible for Salem to be human and ancient as hell? Is she storing time like Ozpin was in Beacon tower? Or is she the woman with two souls. I mean, why can't there be a woman with two souls? We don't know how it's possible for one person to have two souls, but evidently, it is. Ergo, if it has happened to Oscar and Ozpin, and presumably before Ozpin, why can't there be others capable of doing it?

But also in episode 1, Salem says, "Man, born from dust, was strong, wise, and resourceful." This line raises an interesting question: how does Salem know man came from dust, or even Dust? If she's human herself, someone had to tell her which lends possibility to the fact that she is the woman with two souls. If she isn't human, then she has likely been around since before man.

And what's the stuff on her arms? Ivy? Her veins?
Is that a commonality among all eldritch creatures?

Unfortunately, neither of these paths offer us any real insight. So, that leads us to the final question: what is Salem's plan? We know she's looking for both the Maidens and the relics. She likely knows where the relics are since she is attacking the huntsmen academies, but the question then is, why does she want the four Maidens?

According to Qrow, the power of the Maidens pales in comparison to the relics, so why seek both? Perhaps to bolster the power of her forces so she doesn't have the Maidens working against her? That's possible. But, Salem seems to be missing a few girls for maiden positions. Counting her, Emerald, and Cinder, they're missing one girl. It's possible there are more in their faction as the table they were at at the start of Volume 4 had empty seats.

See? Empty chairs. Room for more members or possibly
ones we haven't seen yet.

But again, why seek out both Maidens and relics? It could have something to do with the Wizard who gave his power to the Maidens. Perhaps when all the Maidens are brought together (and sacrificed), they unlock some kind of ultimate power or tool like a fifth relic. Maybe the Wizard was only able to grant his power to the Maidens because he broke up his own power to give it to them. Who knows? But this all begs the question what does Salem want with all this power? Does she just want to remake reality in her image so it can be her paradise, or is it a bit more complicated? I'm going to say the latter because Kerry and Miles have surprised me before, so I'm not going to assume anything. Besides which, I might ruin the surprise for myself.

But alas, this leaves us with nothing, but a few speculative points. This is the greatly frustrating thing about trying to analyze the powers that be of Remnant--we still don't know everything and some of the things we do know are only stories, rumor, and legend. So, Salem wins this round.




If you guys think I missed something, tell me in the comments below. Also, in my next RWBY Theory post, I'm going to go over why some of the fanbase has fallen out of love with RWBY. Yes, it is true. Some fans grew disenchanted with RWBY during Volume 4, and I can see a few reasons why. So, I'm going to cover that next week. Be sure not to miss it by signing up to my RWBY mailing list! If I do anything RWBY related, even if it's a RWBY-colored fart, you'll be the first to hear about it: http://eepurl.com/cWX8Fj.

Keep writing, my friends.

Stalk me everywhere:
BLOG: https://blaeschportfolio.blogspot.com/
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/thewriterbryanlaesch
BS Page: www.facebook.com/bawdyscholar
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/bryanclaesch
PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/bryanclaesch
TUMBLR: https://bryanclaesch.tumblr.com
TWITTER: https://www.twitter.com/BryanofAllTrade
YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLeDVBfO7mR0s-eyGPCZlTQ
https://www.youtube.com/c/bawdyscholar

This blog is not endorsed by Rooster Teeth in any way. Views, opinions, and thoughts are all my own. Rooster Teeth and RWBY are trade names or registered trademarks of Rooster Teeth Productions, LLC. © Rooster Teeth Productions, LLC.

RWBY: The Novelization: "Red" Trailer

On the island of Patch in the Kingdom of Vale, there was a mountainside topped by a thick forest. Several inches of snow lay on the ground as more continued to fall from the grey sky. The moon had started to rise and the landscape was empty except for a solitary figure. The figure was dwarfed by the trees around it, and wore a riding hood and cape that were red like roses.

The figure exited the forest to a clearing at the edge of a cliff where a tombstone marked the memorial of Summer Rose. The phrase “Thus kindly I scatter” was engraved beneath her name.

The figure stopped. It stood before the tombstone and was quiet as the snow continued to fall. Finally, it sniffled and a tear rolled down its cheek. A dainty, white hand rose to the face and wiped the tear away.

“I miss you,” said a small voice.

The figure stayed there for a little longer, still silent. The sky got darker and a full moon had risen into the sky. In the distance, a howl much like a wolf’s could be heard.

The figure’s eyes narrowed. It sniffled again and without a word turned back the way it came.

It walked back through the forest of leafless trees. The weather became colder as the wind picked up. The figure pulled its cloak tighter around its tiny body and braced against the wind, but it was still cold—sad and cold. But despite the sorrow and chill, the journey still had to be made. Even as another howl rang out and something big and black whipped past, the journey still had to be made despite the risk.

The lone figure stepped into a wide clearing where a pack of shadowy monsters had gathered. They looked like wolves but were five feet tall on all fours and eight feet on two. Their bodies were black and emitted a shadowy essence. They had bone white claws and spikes that came out of their spines, arms, and shoulders. The top of their heads was missing the skin showing the top of their skulls with red vein-like cracks made throughout. They had no lips and openly bore their teeth and fangs. Their throats and eyes burned like the fires of hell. They were Beowolves, creatures of Grimm, drawn by the figure’s grief and now feasting on the animosity it bore them.

Three Beowolves charged and swung their claws, but in a red flash and flurry of rose petals, the figure was gone. It jumped into the air where the wind caught its hood and cape revealing the tiny frame of a young girl. She wore a black, Gothic shirt and skirt with a waist cincher, and her bobbed hair was black ending in dark red gradients. But what made the Grimm quake with fear was the girl’s silver eyes.

The girl reached behind her and pulled out a red metal object. It opened up into a rifle and the girl fired three shots in quick succession hitting each of the Beowolves in the head.

The girl landed and another Beowolf charged her. She shot it and used the recoil from her rifle to roll backward. She spun the rifle around further opening it into a great mechanical scythe.

The pack circled the girl and she gave them a hard look.

“How dare you disturb my mother’s rest,” said Ruby Rose. “I’m going to make you pay.” The faintest hint of a smirk pulled on her lips.

A Beowolf charged and Ruby swung her scythe, but the beast made it inside her guard. It threatened to rip her throat out until a shot was fired from the end of the scythe and the Beowolf was viciously decapitated.

The pack charged, but Ruby spun her scythe and the blade landed in the snow. She cocked the bolt and started firing as fast as she could. With each shot, more and more Beowolves fell. But there were too many and they succeeded in closing in on her. With a flurry of spins and twirls, Ruby hacked and slashed the Beowolves apart cutting off their limbs, heads, and slicing them in twain.

Once, she wrapped her scythe’s blade around a Beowolf’s neck, jumped onto its back and pulled the trigger. The blade bit into the Beowolf’s neck, but more than that, Ruby was thrown into the air. Several Beowolves saw her as vulnerable and leapt at her. But she shot her scythe into the air and spun downward shredding the Beowolves with great brutality.

The girl landed in the snow and discovered that the pack of Beowolves had grown substantially. Drawn by her negative emotions and the sounds of battle, they had been lured from the forest. They growled and licked their chops savoring the meal to come.

Ruby dropped the box magazine from her scythe and rearmed with another. She flipped her scythe around so it was pointing behind her and fired. She was launched forward and slashed several Beowolves in half, but not being satisfied, she ran along the ground and a power called a Semblance propelled her at inhuman speeds summoning rose petals in her wake. She neared the pack, opened her scythe blade to resemble a spear, and began spinning slicing the Beowolves in a great fury of steel.

Ruby stopped in the center of the pack and slashed away with great vehemence. She fired her scythe multiple times as she spun it hand over hand, arm over arm, and around her body in a complex combination. With one final shot, she killed the last Beowolf and backflipped. She landed on her feet and held her scythe at an angle behind her. The battlefield was littered with rifle rounds and the bodies of Beowolves. But as they died, their shadowy essences drifted away and their bodies evaporated.

Ruby collapsed her scythe and hung it on her back. She lifted her hood and began her journey home no worse for wear, but much warmer.

Keep writing, my friends.

 

The legalities: This is a non-profit, fan-based project. RWBY is the property of Rooster Teeth Productions and was created by Monty Oum, Kerry Shawcross, and Miles Luna. Please support the official release.

 

Stalk me everywhere:
BLOG: https://blaeschportfolio.blogspot.com/
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/thewriterbryanlaesch
BS Page: www.facebook.com/bawdyscholar
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/bryanclaesch
PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/bryanclaesch
TUMBLR: https://bryanclaesch.tumblr.com
TWITTER: https://www.twitter.com/BryanofAllTrade
YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLeDVBfO7mR0s-eyGPCZlTQ
https://www.youtube.com/c/bawdyscholar

RWBY: The Novelization is not endorsed by Rooster Teeth in any way. Views, opinions, and thoughts are all my own. Rooster Teeth and RWBY are trade names or registered trademarks of Rooster Teeth Productions, LLC. © Rooster Teeth Productions, LLC.

How J.K. Rowling Can Fix Harry Potter

Hey, everyone.

I apologize for the clickbait title, but I assure you I do have advice for JK on how to fix Harry Potter. Not the character, but the series. I'm sure many of you think the books are perfect and shouldn't be changed. Well, there's a problem with that: JK herself, the creator, isn't 100% happy with how they turned out, and even Emma Watson can't wrap her head around a certain aspect. I am of course talking about the relationship between Ron and Hermione.


Again, many of you undoubtedly don't think there's anything wrong with it, but I agree with JK and Emma--it doesn't make sense. I remember being young and reading the books for the first time. I had just finished Prisoner of Azkaban, and I was about to start Goblet of Fire (Order of the Phoenix wasn't out yet). I was having a conservation with my sister and she mentioned that her friend Rachel said that Ron and Hermione get together. The notion was laughable and preposterous to me, and I was in the seventh grade. So, even back then I was calling shenanigans.

Emma sells this shot, but Rupert doesn't.

But anyway, the reason why Ron and Hermione don't work is because they are two too different people. Hermione is very cerebral, and Ronald, while he isn't a dummy, he doesn't have the patience to deal with such things. He acts before he thinks. Not Hermione, she thinks before she acts. Some would think then that they are perfect for each other, except that there are plenty of times in the books where Ron and Hermione don't have an iota of tolerance for each other's methods. Add to that, Ron isn't very emotionally intelligent, and Hermione is, and despite her logical mind and methods, she is very in tune with her emotions.

Looks like she regrets some of her choices.

I do understand why JK paired Ron and Hermione though. It seemed like the obvious choice. In HP, we have Harry and Hermione who are outsiders to the wizarding world, and then there's Ron who has grown up in it. Give him a hot (redheaded), younger sister, and we've got the perfect situation necessary for pulling Harry and Hermione into the world they belong to, and now, instead of being friends, they're all family, which is especially good for Harry.

Now, while I agree with JK and Emma that Hermione and Ron don't make any sense, I completely disagree with them that the better option for Hermione is Harry. No, no, no. In the HP universe, Harry and Ginny are OTP. Ginny is the only girl who can look beyond Harry's celebrity status and see him as just an ordinary guy who has had extraordinary situations thrust upon him his entire life. Plus, Ginny is a very strong and adept girl; she can match Harry wit for wit and in magical ability. While she may have originally been a fan girl, that's not who Ginny becomes.

What kind of name is "Ginerva" anyway?

Unfortunately, that's not the kind of relationship between Harry and Hermione. She's not his fan per se, but she does put him on a pedestal. She looks up to him and defers to his experience over her smarts. While everyone thinks the world of Hermione, Hermione thinks Harry the greater person and wizard. She even called him a great wizard in Philosopher's Stone and shrugged off her cleverness as being nothing that great. And she turned to him to be her instructor in Order of the Phoenix when they formed Dumbledore's Army. Harry and Hermione are great friends, but when one of them looks up to the other rather than seeing him as an equal, they could never make it as lovers.

Harry does sort of become an action hero.

So then, what's my advice for fixing Hermione and Ron's relationship? Well, there are two paths:
1. JK can rewrite all the HP books so that Hermione and Ron seem more of a match for each other,
2. JK can write new books for the series that take place after Hogwarts where Ron and Hermione's relationship goes through a rough patch, and they have to figure out how to come together again and maybe even change in the process to become each other's soul mate.

Now, Option 2 doesn't need any explanation and it would be the easier path of the two. But I think Option 1 is the better of the two, though I'm sure many of you find it offensive. I'm not going to lie, it is the more time consuming option, but let's look at some of the objections to Option 1 and why they're not a big deal.

Objection 1: "But the movies have already been made!"

The films are not canon, they are adaptations. Besides which, so much was changed from the books to the films, what difference would it make? All the important stuff is in the films. And, who's to say the films won't be remade someday? Maybe they'll be remade better than they were made. Even Star Wars could be susceptible to a remake one day.

Objection 2: "Ron and Hermione are who they are. How could you possibly change Ron and Hermione so they're more compatible?"

Honestly, it shouldn't be that difficult... in theory. Make Hermione less of a brainiac and maybe reshape some of her values so they're more in line with Ron's, or make Hermione more of an action-oriented person rather than a let's-think-about-it type of person. As for Ron, don't make him so thick and maybe even make him brilliant in his own way. Hell, I remember back in Philosopher's Stone that Ron was really awesome at wizard's chess, but Hermione was terrible which was weird because Hermione should've been better at it given her personality. That whole instance suggests to me that that may have been, or was supposed to be, the foundation of their relationship--the fact that Ron was good at a brainy thing that Hermione wasn't. Maybe make wizard's chess the thing that Ron and Hermione bond over.

"I wish I was playing chess instead of on the run."

Another angle is to develop Ron and Hermione into lead characters themselves and have scenes where they're going through character development by themselves without Harry needing to be there. I know he's the main character and all, but that doesn't mean he has to be on every page. Characters don't need to be asking, "Hey, where's Harry?" when he's not around. He can be autonomous. So, without him in the picture, Ron and Hermione can discuss things just between the two of them. And with more time to themselves, whether with each other or alone, there's more time and opportunity to develop them and even turn them into more, well-rounded characters. We can really get into their heads and learn what they're about.

Objection 3: "But the books are already written!"

So? They're not set in stone. And even if they were, that doesn't mean that different versions can't be made. It's not like rewriting history or the laws of physics.

Hell, you ever hear of a guy called Stephen King? He's a writer, too. Very good with horror. Anyway, he's written a popular series himself called The Dark Tower. And about two decades ago, he stopped writing it after the fifth book, and people were begging him to finish it. One guy on death row even wrote to him to ask him how it ended and that he would take the secret of the ending with him to the grave. Eventually, SK picked TDT up again, but instead of just picking up where he left off, he decided to revise and expand the entire thing. He even found instances where he had confused characters with place names and fixed it. Even though he was five books in, he still re-wrote the entire series and finished it.


There's another famous writer. Well, actually he was a poet, but I'm sure you've heard of him. His names was Walt Whitman. He wrote Leaves of Grass. And rewrote it. And rewrote it. And rewrote it again. And then, do you know what he did? That's right; he rewrote it again. In truth, I don't know how many times he went back to it, but it was a bunch of times. I would've stopped buying his work after the third time he rewrote it, but someone out there was. Hell, he was still getting published after the fourth time.


The point is, just because Harry Potter is over, that doesn't mean that the story can't go through further developments. I'm a self-published author, and I'm constantly making adjustments to my work. Mostly formatting stuff, but almost half of it is editing. But, if JK really wants to make Ron and Hermione's relationship make sense, she can do that. She has the technology. And honestly, I think whatever she ended up doing with their relationship, whether it was kept intact or not, or she wrote later stories to fix it, I honestly think it would be better for the story as a whole. So, I support JK's decision to rewrite HP.

Why? Because you have to.

Keep writing, my friends.


Stalk me everywhere:
BLOG: https://blaeschportfolio.blogspot.com/
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/thewriterbryanlaesch
BS Page: www.facebook.com/bawdyscholar
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/bryanclaesch
PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/bryanclaesch
TUMBLR: https://bryanclaesch.tumblr.com
TWITTER: https://www.twitter.com/BryanofAllTrade
YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLeDVBfO7mR0s-eyGPCZlTQ
https://www.youtube.com/c/bawdyscholar