How Discovering I Was An INTJ Changed My Life

Hey, everyone.

So, as promised, here's the coveted return of the original INTJ posts, starting with how finding out I was an INTJ changed my life. There's not much point of writing an introduction for this. Let's just hop to it.

So, if you spend any time on the Internet, you're likely aware of how many quizzes there are that help people figure out who they are. Some of these are just for funzies, like what kind of dragon are you or what is your DnD alignment, but some are quite serious and informative such as the ones dealing with psychology and personality. I was no stranger to MBTI tests when I took the one on 16Personalities, but I never took them seriously. I actually remember taking one on Facebook and getting ISTJ and feeling sufficiently esteemed. I don't remember how I ended up on 16Personalities, but the more important question is if I got ISTJ before, how did I end up with INTJ from 16P's? Well, I believe 16P's' test is more thorough. I think it is the definitive MBTI quiz on the net. But how did the result change my life?

Well, after taking the test and getting a four, technically five, letter personality doesn't really mean anything to you until you understand what each letter and category is, not to mention how they interact with each other and how that creates the beautiful mystery of who you are. 16P's goes a little deeper than that because they also assign "Roles" to people depending on certain traits they get as well as "Strategies." For those who don't know, Roles determine goals, interests, and preferred activities. There are four of them: Analysts (xNTx), Diplomats (xNFx), Sentinels (xSxJ), and Explorers (xSxP). Strategies meanwhile describe our preferred ways of doing things and achieving goals. Again, there are four of them: Confident Individualism (Ixxx-A), People Mastery (Exxx-A), Constant Improvement (Ixxx-T), and Social Engagement (Exxx-T).

For those wondering about the A's and T's, 16P's added a fifth dimension called "Identity," which is confidence in abilities and decisions, and you can be either "Assertive" or "Turbulent." If you're Assertive, you don't let stress get you and you're very confident about getting your projects finished even if you're not hustling, whereas Turbulent personalities are susceptible to stress, but they always get their work done and more because of how much they hustle.

Anyway, my results were INTJ-A, meaning I'm an Analyst and my strategy is Confident Individualism. So, basically I'm a rational and impartial intellectual who is fiercely independent, strong-willed, and imaginative. I prefer to do things alone, choosing to rely on my own skills and instincts; I believe in personal responsibility, and I prefer to rely on only myself. 16P's goes further with INTJs saying we're "imaginative and strategic thinkers with a plan for everything." At our best, we're quick, imaginative, and strategic, have high self-confidence, are independent and decisive, hard-working and determined, open minded, and we're Jack-of-all-Trades. At our worst, we're arrogant, judgmental, overly analytical, loathe highly structured environments, and are clueless in romance.

Most of that is exactly right, which blew my mind. I used to think I was so unique that no one could understand me, that I was purely one-of-a-kind. But 16P's enlightened me to the truth. But rather than be crushed by this, because everyone wants to be unique, I found it extremely liberating. See, like most Introverts, I thought there was something wrong with me or something wrong with the world. How was it that I could earn the respect and admiration of my peers for being so intelligent and ambitious, but garner their harassment and criticism for who I was in day-to-day life? I thought I was weird and unbalanced. I mean, I did think I was special, destined for something greater, most INTJs do, but I thought I was unique amongst the whole world's population. Come to find out, I'm not and for whatever reason, that let the pressure off me. There wasn't something wrong with me, I was just different. And how! (Remember, INTJs are quite rare.)

It was also comforting to see all my virtues laid bare, listed and easily understandable. And while I didn't like to see my vices also so easily identified, it is nice to know where my weaknesses lie. But by being identified as an INTJ, I now had a definitive identity behind who I was, which I know sounds weird, but my name, religion, nationality, occupation, etc. can only do so much. Those things describe what and who I am, not how I function. Knowing I'm an INTJ, I can tell people that and they will understand me. By knowing I'm an INTJ, it helps me identify myself, my character, and more importantly, what I can become. But why is that so important?


That might sound like a strange question, even when coming from an INTJ. We're extremely self-analytical, so if there's anyone out there who knows us, it's ourselves. So, obviously, that's quite important to us. But, why should that matter to the great cosmic understanding of the universe? Why should anyone care that we care about being INTJs? Because without the knowledge that I can be understood and that there are others out there like me, I go back to being on my own again. I'm a singular uniqueness in a world that's full of nothing but the same. It sounds special, but it surprisingly comes with an extremely heavy burden. You feel pressured to live up to the specialness that only you seem to have. Not to mention, it's also bitterly lonely and you start to wonder if maybe you're just an arrogant assh*le who thinks too much of himself. For a while, I didn't think of myself as "human" because it was so mundane; I knew I was something better, higher, more evolved, which can sound awfully pretentious. But knowing that that's just a part of my personality, that that identity crisis is just a part of who I am, it somehow makes everything better.

But, not everyone needs this sort of comfort. At least two of my friends don't need to know they're perfectly normal because as Sentinels, which I think they are, as the most common role out there, they don't feel out of place at all. INTJs are definitely out of place. You know that part from The Matrix where Morpheus tells Neo how he can sense that there's something intangibly wrong with the world, but he can't describe it, he just knows it's there? INTJs have this feeling all the time, and a chunk of that time, it's focused around our very existence, our presence in the "normal" world. Diplomats don't have this problem because they try to connect to the world even if they don't understand it; Explorers just want to explore the world and don't care to understand it; and Sentinels merely want to make sure everything is working as it should be. Analysts however drive themselves crazy with trying to "solve" it, trying to figure out the world. It's like Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy; we're trying to figure out the answer to everything. I don't know if INTJs feel this desire moreso than the other Analyst personalities, but it is a strong desire within us, and the fact that we can always sense something wrong with the world, but can't express it to other people, let alone get them to listen to our theory without thinking we're crazy, it definitely puts a rift between us and everyone else. But that's the great thing about 16P's--there are others out there who have experienced the rift. I'm not as alone as I thought.

Now, I wouldn't say finding out I'm an INTJ has been a completely positive experience. I do almost treat it as a second religion or ideology. I identify with being an INTJ as much as I identify with being a Catholic and I've been Catholic for far longer (I think). I feel more like an INTJ and Catholic than I do an American. So, as a result of this fanaticism, I've tried to build myself up into the perfect INTJ. I model my life off the best and (what I think are) the most defining INTJ qualities, which to some extent has ostracized me more from people as I try to live 100% free and independent which means I have to bear all my problems by myself, and that does get quite difficult sometimes--it's hard to rely totally on yourself when you're still fallible and it's yourself who is responsible for your biggest disappointments.

But, overall, I would say that discovering I was an INTJ was very good for me. Even if I can't completely explain why, it has done me good and I think will continue to do me good. I like being an INTJ and I wouldn't want to be any other MBTI personality.

Keep writing, my friends.

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The Last and Least Five Ways I Buck the INTJ Stereotype

Hey, everyone

Before I get on with the piece, I wanted to let you all know that my Shakespearean play, The Passion of Gloucester and Sinead is available for free download until Saturday. You can get it here.

Alright, so as mentioned a few times, this will probably the last one of these I do. This is the last and least five ways I buck the INTJ stereotype. By "least" I mean these are things that as far as I can tell don't really help to define what an INTJ is, but for those times when people say that INTJs do/are this kind of stuff, these five don't apply to me.

1. The To-Do List Isn't Complete

INTJs keep a lot of things on their minds such as strange phenomenon or the mysteries of the universe. As a result, they put those esoteric things on their to-do list, along with all the mundane things they have to do, and they end up with long lists. So, there's this belief that INTJs can't sleep until their to-do list is complete. This isn't true for me, and it's likely not true for a lot of INTJs. I believe the reason why is because I'm what 16Personalities calls an INTJ-A.

For those who don't know, 16Personalities adds a fifth dimension to MBTI called Identity and you're either Assertive or Turbulent. If you're Assertive, you don't worry about getting stuff done because you know it will get down eventually, whereas if you're Turbulent, you constantly fret about getting things done. "Turbulent" may seem negative, but have you ever heard the expression "busy people get more done"? That's because Turbulent people are always doing something and make long to-do lists for themselves, but the good news is that they actually get all that stuff done. Getting back to the point, as an INTJ-A, I don't worry if my to-do list is complete for a day or not. Now, there are some things that are necessary to get done that day, but I can rest easy knowing I managed to get most things done for a day.

2. Relating More to the Antagonist

It isn't uncommon to see a lot of antagonists in movies and other media to be INTJs. Why? Well, some of our core traits seem to be antagonistic, such as we ask questions, push boundaries, and test taboos. We're arrogant, we think we're always right, and we're huge loners and sometimes creepy weirdos with very eccentric tastes. And we all have a plan for world domination, even me. So sometimes INTJs will relate more to the bad guy in a movie than to the good guy because the motivations and methods of the antagonist make more sense to us than that of the protagonist. However, this isn't true for me.

Being raised Catholic and now a serious practicing Catholic, I have a very firm idea of right and wrong, good and evil, just and unjust. So while I may see that the antagonist has a good intention or his method is much more efficient than the protagonist's, I still don't identify with the antagonists because they're evil. They kill people and blow stuff up. In general, I don't like villains. I mean the Joker from The Dark Knight is fascinating and really stole the show, but I'm not sure I would say I like him. I'm not sure I would say I like any villains and I really don't understand people who do. Villains are meant to be hated, or at the least, disliked. If you don't hate them, then the writer(s) have failed.

3. Not Into Puzzles

INTJs like figuring things out. We love the sense of revelation or solving a mystery. I'm no different, but in general, I'm not into puzzles. A Rubik's cube, no thanks. A 500 piece puzzle, no way. A Sudoku set to hard or a game of Chess against an expert, I don't think so. I mean, I like the feeling of successfully solving a puzzle, but if it's too hard, I will give up. I've got better things to do than to waste my time on something so frivolous. In fact, I would argue that since my writing can make me money and since figuring out a story is a bit like working out a puzzle, that is one of the few puzzles I can stand, but I would never go to a game shop and ask to see the puzzles nor do I enjoy riddles all that much. Sometimes the logic is just not all that logical to me or it requires more effort than what I'm willing to put in.

4. I Don't Fake Smile

INTJs are known for certain traits. One of them is our death stare. In fact, I have been told by my friend John that I'm "grumpy" and my mother has asked me multiple times why I'm scowling when I have no idea what she's talking about. Other people have accused me of looking pissed all the time. Now, while I would have good reason to be pissed all the time living in the world we do, I assure you I'm not--that's just my face. Some INTJs deal with this by faking a smile--I don't. I tend to wear my emotions on my face. If I'm mad, happy, or sad, you can see it. The only time I practice hiding my emotions or whatever I'm thinking is when somebody suggests something to me. I don't want them knowing what I think so I go completely blank until I've come to a decision. It gives me a slight edge and to see how much they believe in their suggestion. But other than those times, I show what I'm holding because I don't believe in lying.

5. Physical Attraction is Important

There are a couple of sources out there telling people what an INTJ looks for in a potential mate. Many of those sources list physical attraction as being a secondary or lesser concern. Now, while it is true I will take a girl who is a "6" over a "10" because she doesn't ask me to explain myself or to define a word for her while I'm pitching woo, but I'd rather have a girl who is a "7" or "8" if it meant she wasn't as intelligent as the "6". True, physical beauty is only skin deep and it is paltry compared to all the other qualities I want my ideal woman to have, but I have to look at her some time. This isn't Fiddler on the Roof where we're more worried about getting a spouse than what they look like. So, physical beauty is a concern for me when I look for a romantic interest. And in fact, next week I'll be looking at an article done by INTJ Vision where they listed the top 10 qualities INTJ men look for in a girl. And I know on that list they put physical beauty quite far down, but for me, it isn't.

Well, that's it for this week's dosage of INTJ Theory. If you felt like this article was lack luster, I heartily agree with you. I really didn't enjoy writing it, but I promised it, so here it is but at the same time, I'm sorry. Hopefully things will be better next week.

Keep writing, my friends.

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MBTI: Primary and Secondary Personalities Theory

Hey, everyone.

This blog entry is brought to you by my new novels: Remnants of Chaos: Chaotic Omens and Heroes of Majestia: The Company of Flight. You can buy ROCCO here and HOMCOF here. HOMCOF is also available for free download until Sunday.

So as promised, this week I'm going to go over a personal theory of my own. Basically, the theory is that while everyone in the world does have an identifiable personality, this personality is their first or primary personality. But there do come times when a person cannot rely on their primary personality, such as in cases of survival, and it becomes necessary for them to adapt and to adopt a secondary or even lower personality.

What's my proof? Well, until I came across 16Personalities and their absolutely superb personality quiz, I was already slightly acquainted with MBTI, but not well. I had taken a few quizzes elsewhere, such as Facebook, and one time I got ISTJ. Another time, I was taking a different a MBTI test online and again, I was typed as ISTJ. How could this be? Well, besides the fact that those tests were no where near as thorough or as sophisticated as the test on 16Personalities, there are a couple of other possibilities: 1. I wasn't being completely honest or I answered a question wrongly, 2. 16Personalities is wrong, 3. At those times, I was an ISTJ and I developed into an INTJ, or 4. I have a secondary personality and for whatever reason, those tests drew it out better. But, how is it possible that we may have more than one personality?

Well, to some extent, I believe our personalities are changeable. Like I said earlier, I don't think I've always been an INTJ. I'm pretty sure I was an ISTJ as a kid, but it's rather difficult to know for sure as at one time I was quite boisterous and obnoxious. But, I took pride in following the system and being told I was a good or smart boy. I never questioned or bucked the system, and I shunned those who did. I was also quite emotional. At one point, I am embarrassed to say, I was what you would call a "cry baby," and I wasn't an infant at the time. What happened? Well, more of my parents and siblings imprinted on me, I tried not to be annoying when people told me I was being so, I reined in my emotions, and whilst playing video games, I found the silent, mysterious, and stoic characters the coolest--so I became them. At some point during my high school years, I was an ISTJ like Spock, but it was only a matter of time before I became an INTJ as I found myself working the hell out of my imagination and asking questions about everything. Though I will admit that I didn't do it on my own. But anyway, the point is that I believe I was once an ISTJ, and like I said, when put into an unfamiliar situation, I turn to my ISTJ side for survival.

Some of you may think this nutty and you may think that what I'm actually doing in survival situations is turning to my lesser used functions such as introverted feeling and extraverted sensing. Well, there may be some proof for either side of the argument. MBTI commentator Heidi Priebe, who writes all the MBTI articles for Thought Catalog, wrote an interesting one on mistyping the personalities (read it here). Two of the types she says INTJs can be mistyped as are INFJs, because of our strong desire for self-improvement hence we don't leave anything as underdeveloped such as our introverted feeling, and ENTJs because of our strong desire to maintain order in the external world. She does also mention INTJs being mistyped as ISTJs, but she doesn't say why. I think it has something to do with our nature to learn things in a straightforward and simple manner, and catalogue our experiences so we can use that information for later. But getting back to the point, while we all may be turning to our lesser developed functions to help us deal with unfamiliar or uncomfortable situations, I think we can also say that our personalities change in those moments.

Now, I may be completely off base. I'm not an MBTI expert, and I barely pass for an INTJ expert. I may buy into the mystique harder than others, but I'm not sure I could explain what an INTJ is to a person who doesn't already know which is strange because at some point someone explained it to me. But anyway, in the case I am off base, I'm not particularly concerned about it--I just wanted to help expand MBTI theory. And because I'm running out of INTJ ideas to write about. I've got two more before I need to start grabbing at straws. Anyway...

That'll be it for now. I know this was a short one, but I did expect it to take longer. And I apologize for it being released late. I've had a trying couple of days again. So, for next week, I think I will be covering celebrities/famous people that are considered INTJs that I can't consider as INTJs. Don't miss it. And also please consider buying my books.

Keep writing, my friends.

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Five Ways I Buck the INTJ Stereotype

Hey there, everyone.

My name is Bryan C. Laesch, and I am an INTJ. I know I am because16Personalities told me so. (I also used to write for them.) And, almost every pin on Pinterest is incredibly accurate when describing me.

But, the thing we have to remember about MBTI is that it isn't 100% accurate. That is to say, MBTI gives us the stereotypes or averages of each personality even if a particular personality isn't average in the least, like INTJ. In fact, I saw an article where a bunch of INTJs were interviewed on how they buck the INTJ stereotype, and I thought I might take the opportunity to add my own tuppence to the topic. So, these are the five ways I buck the INTJ stereotype. Let's get into it.

1. Religion

Yes, I am religious. Well, I don't like calling myself religious because to me only a Bible or a priest can be religious, but, aye, I practice a religion. The particular religion I practice is Roman Catholicism. Some people may find that hard to believe because the Catholic Church seems to have a lot of rules and restrictions, and INTJs are fiercely independent. Surely an INTJ would prefer something a lot less nailed down. I disagree. I think Catholicism is perfect for the following reasons: 1. It hasn't changed in almost two thousand years (J), 2. It has an extensive theology that was built by Aquinas, a man who was more philosopher than theologian (in fact, he was probably an INTJ himself) (NT), and 3. Despite the fact it's called Mass, all religion is deeply personal; it's a relationship between an individual and the divine (that's what Communion is all about) (I).

In fact, I'm not the only one to clue in to this. I found a pin on Pinterest that listed all the possible careers for INTJs, and one of them was Catholic theologian. So, suck on that INTJ atheistic stereotype! (Unfortunately, I can no longer find that pin.)

St. Thomas Aquinas, Doctor of the Church
Wrote the Summa Theologica which contains the Five Arguments
for the Existence of God
I would bet good money he was an INTJ.

2. I Don't Care About Advances in Technology

According to MBTI, INTJs believe in the relentless development of technology. But me, I don't give a sh*t. To be honest, I hate most new fangled gadgets. Some of them are often more finicky or less user-friendly than the last generation's gadgets, updates are constantly being made to programs that don't need them, often times new tech is released full of bugs and overpriced, so it's tactically advantageous not to buy it until the next generation comes out, and I don't give a rat's ass about being trendy. (I had to get a new pair of glasses once, and the saleswoman kept trying to get me to buy one pair over another because the frames were more popular. It also didn't help that she was wearing those frames so I felt like she was trying to subtly manipulate me.) So, I tend to have the perspective of "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

Now, I should mention that I am always looking to make things as efficient as possible in my own day-to-day life which is sort of what the "relentless development of technology" thing is all about--finding the best way to do something, and then improving on top of that. It's entirely possible that the reason why I don't care about the advancement of technology is because I don't know what it could be, or I don't see the inefficiencies in the tech that the designers see. But, you know what they say, ignorance is bliss. Speaking of which...

3. Ignorance Is Bliss

Typically, you'll never hear an INTJ say this. INTJs have an insatiable appetite for knowledge. We take everything we learn and add it to our database where we can break it down and try to connect it to other things in a maddening pursuit of trying to solve the universe. But, there are some things that shouldn't be known, and a wizened INTJ almost assuredly knows a few things he wish he didn't. There are things I wish I could forget, and there are things I'd be happier not knowing, like who Kim Kardashian is. I don't need that in my life. As a result, ignorance can be bliss. My mother once told me that I didn't know what I was missing in regards to how delicious a salad was (I don't eat salad). And to her, I responded, "If I don't know what I'm missing, I can't miss it."

4. I Prefer My Work to Be Something Creative Rather Than Technical

Going back to the list of jobs perfect for INTJs, most of them tend to be technical like computer programming. Now, the reason why these are so popular among INTJs is because they're lonely jobs; you only need one person doing them. And while I think I would be very good at such a job, hell, I was a window cleaner for several months and I enjoyed the solitude of it, but I don't think I could do something technical for the rest of my life. I think my N trait may be stronger than some INTJs as I prefer to do something creative with my life. I want to create and show off the beautiful complexity of a spider web of connections--hence, I write. And since I can do it alone, it helps my Introversion as well.

In fact, someone has speculated on there being four different kinds of INTJs. On the blog, The Way of the INTJ, the blog writer mentioned how there are "subtypes" of each MBTI personality based on Enneagram personality theory and the different "wing" types. Basically, the way it works is that Enneagram splits personalities into 9 basic personalities, but a person can "wing" in a second personality. Think of it like a college major and minor. According to the blog writer, Tess Ellation, the four INTJ subtypes are the Purist (1w9), the Diplomat (1w2), the Arcanist (5w4), and the Genius (5w6). I'm not going to go into them here, but according the descriptions, I'm obviously the Arcanist. But when I took my Enneagram test, I also did really well in category 1. Unfortunately, I can't be a 5-wing-1 because 5 and 1 are not next to each other. Perhaps that's another Enneagram theory that needs to be explored.

Anyway...

5. I Ask Someone If They Really Want My Honest Opinion

One of the most popular cornerstones of the INTJ personality is brutal honesty. Now, I am brutally honest, but I didn't know how brutal my honesty was until I asked a friend why she enjoyed spending time with me (a very INTJ thing to do). One of the reasons she gave was that I tell the truth regardless of whether it hurts someone's feelings or not. This was news to me--I had never heard this, and honestly, I felt bad about it. I wasn't trying to hurt my friend's feelings; she asked for my opinion so I gave it to her.

Are you sure you want to know what I think about that, cupcake?

After that exchange, I'm more careful now about how honest I am with someone. I still have a desire to tell the truth, but I don't want to hurt people. It's tough being criticized, and in my position as a writer, I know that there's a good way and a bad way to do it. You can tell someone the truth without hurting them. And for those times when I know for sure it'll hurt their feelings, I always ask if they really want to know or not. Although, I wonder if part of my aversion to doing so is because I don't want to get wrapped up in another's feelings or emotional sh*t storm. Sometimes it's just not worth disturbing the peace, you know. I've got sh*t to do, and your butthurt could get in the way of my work.

So, those are the top 5 ways I buck the INTJ stereotype. I'm sure there are more, but for the love of me, I can't think of what they are. But, anyway, next time I'll be going over the 10 ways I fit perfectly into the INTJ stereotype. There are more than 10, but I didn't want to overload you guys. If you want more information on INTJs, you can check out the book The True INTJ here on Amazon. According to Amazon, I own it, but I don't remember reading it. Probably because it's only really useful for people who don't know squat about INTJs. Anyway, see you guys next time.

Keep writing, my friends.

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