How INTJs Can Develop Their Inferior Function

Hey, everyone.

The Fatal Weakness of INTJs

I recently purchased the book The 16 Personality Types: Profiles, Theory, & Type Development by Dr. A.J. Drenth in an effort to improve my understanding of typology. After all, I don't really consider myself my a typologist--I'm really only an expert on one personality, and that's my own, because after all, who knows me better than me?

But obviously I can't just ignore the professional analysis of my own typing, especially since I trust Dr. Drenth's analysis. His My True Type: Clarifying Your Personality Type, Preferences, & Functions is an excellent read. Anyway, as I was flipping through the INTJ section, a peculiarity caught my eye; the section on the inferior function, Se, was so much longer than the sections on the other three. Upon breaking down the INTJ's relationship with Se, Dr. Drenth mentioned three common weaknesses INTJs suffer due to their misunderstanding of Se. These three weaknesses are a mind-body disconnect, impracticality and subsistence, and perfectionism.

I'm not going to go into these in detail, because then what would be the point of buying the book, but I will give you the brief on them as they are related to my post. So, the weakness of perfectionism is when we can't square our Ni vision with the Se reality, the mind-body disconnect is when we ignore the needs of our bodies, and the physical world in general, for the needs of our minds, and the weakness of impracticality and subsistence is when we're forced to satisfy our S needs in order to fulfill our N needs, but we're loathed to do so because N is where we focus most of our attention.

To be honest, I understand the impracticality and subsistence weakness the least; while it is one that I have struggled with in my life, I find it to be so similar to the other two, I think it's hardly worth mentioning and trying to discriminate between it and the other two. But going back to the other two, while I admit that perfectionism is a compulsion of ours, I find it to be highly profitable one, whereas the mind-body disconnect, that's the one I would like to focus on.

The mind-body disconnect (MBD), as well as the inner-outer worlds disconnect, really breaks my heart in regards to my people. Dr. Drenth mentions that sometimes INTJs can be malnourished and even paranoid of surgery due to the MBD. He even quotes an INTJ friend in his book as saying "I regularly forget to eat." I don't know how you do that; I love food. You could consider me a bit of a glutton. I'm not bragging; I'm just trying to illustrate the level of impossibility I have with comprehending this point.

But something that Dr. Drenth mentions that is quite interesting is he says concern with oneself is better regulated by Si, which might help to explain my situation. After all, if you choose to understand typology from a Jungian perspective rather than MBTI, you will try to understand it with all eight functions in focus and not just four. When I do this and examine myself, instead of seeing the INTJ function stack (Figure 1), I see something more like Figure 2.

Does this mean I'm somehow more perfect or idealized than the traditional INTJ? Well, perhaps more idealized, but not more perfect. What this actually illustrates is how important a sense of self is to me, although all aspects of intuition and mysticism are more important to me than that.

Getting back to the topic on hand, I am greatly disappointed with this issue INTJs have surrounding Se. I once saw a meme on Pinterest that said all INTJs where oblivious geniuses who constantly bump into things. That last part infuriates me since I like to think I have plenty of spatial awareness--as I like to tell people who are amazed by my almost inhuman knowledge, I perceive everything. Here's an example:

Back when I was a window cleaner, one of my jobs was a ladies' salon. When I went to clean the inside of the windows, most of the stylists were sitting in a circle and chatting. At one point, they started discussing some woman they all thought was a bitch who got drunk and started acting like a slut at someone's party, at which point one of them admonished the others for discussing potentially sensitive material with a man present. One of them remarked that I was probably not paying any attention--joke's on them because I heard everything.

Ways Se is Expressed

Now, I'm not writing this post to talk about how great I am because I have such a well-developed Se, I'm writing this to help other INTJs in seeing and understanding how they can develop their Se and make the most of it. In order to do so, let's go through all the ways in which a person may experience Se. This list comes from Dr. Drenth's book My True Type.

1. I am a fun-loving person who relishes spontaneous action.

2. I don't waste time over-thinking things.

3. I usually perform better and enjoy myself more when I just do what comes naturally.

4. I love taking in new experiences--new sights, sounds, tastes, and so on.

5. I enjoy using my hands and losing myself in activities such as sports, sex, cooking, driving, dancing, shopping, exercising, and the like.

6. If given a choice, I prefer to be up and moving around rather than sitting.

7. I tend to get restless fairly quickly and am happier when I'm being active.

8. I'm not a terribly abstract person and have never been a huge fan of book learning. I'd rather learn from experience than from books or lectures. In my view, experience is probably life's best teacher.

9. I'm also a highly observant person. I tend to notice and recall details that others overlook.

10. Keeping pace with current styles and fashions is also fun for me, including things like trendy cars, phones, fashions, hairstyles, décor, etc.

Now, if you're an INTJ, you're likely repulsed by some of these ways in which Se is expressed. However, since it is one of your functions, you are likely to see the value of some of these. For myself, I'm an observant person, I appreciate the value of practical experience, I do enjoy some level of physical activity and appreciate being able to do any physical skill on the first try, and in recent years, I have focused more on honing my personal style so as to be seen as more respectable and more attractive to the fairer sex.

That's all well and good for me, but what about other INTJs? Well, there are some surprising ways in which an INTJ can develop their Se without completely losing their Ni mind. For instance, the taking in of new experiences, especially new sounds--I don't know about the rest of you, but I love finding new bands to listen to and broadening my music perspective. Another one is enjoying working with your hands. There is a sense of irreplaceable satisfaction that comes from making something with your own two hands. I've made whips, and although other personal projects of mine haven't turned out the best, I am often satisfied with the work I have done. Don't underestimate the value of a hard day's work.

Speaking of never underestimating the value of a hard day's work, Se is the all important function that makes INTJs demons in the sack. I'm sure you've heard the rumor before, and while I can't speak for it, and to some extent I believe our highly attuned Ni and Te functions also have important parts to play in the bedroom, but what truly allows for our Ni and Te to be so attuned is our sensory perception (Se). After all, if we can't read or hear how our partners are reacting to our... "inputs"... then we couldn't intuit the next best course of action and carry it out with such confidence.

A Warning

Developing our Se is important, true enough, but it must also come with a warning. As is obvious from the ways in which Se is experienced, Se is a very worldly function; it tends to seek comfort at all costs. While it is possible for Se to go the other way and be the door to personal punishment--not like BDSM but rather like exercising to self-injury--what's more likely to happen is that Se can lead to hedonism and decadence.

In an unhealthily developed INTJ, it's possible to find a battle between Ni-Te and Se, rising in a hypocritical belief of "No one achieves anything great by being lazy!" but then you find yourself in your kitchen munching on chocolate chip cookies at ten o'clock at night. I know because that's a problem I face.

The Reason

Developing our Se is important because it gives us the opportunity to let our Ni (and Te) rest and experience new things, which can help to broaden our perspectives and give our Ni more leads into solving the world's mysteries. You'll also be more attuned to your body and healthier.

So, go ahead and develop your Se. Listen to new music, try new foods, be spontaneous, go to the mall and eavesdrop on people's conversations Assassin's Creed style, try to notice the smallest details about an environment or a person, and just build something with your hands for the fun of it. It won't hurt you.

And before you think that you don't need to develop your Se because you have Ni to fall back on, let me ask you this question: don't you want to be perfect? Surely, a perfect being would develop all of his functions to their fullest extent because otherwise he is limited, and limited beings are not perfect.

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I hope you INTJs out there saw the value of this post. I feel like I may have lost the plot a little in there, but I didn't want my title to be misleading. And if you want to make sure you never miss one of my blog posts, please join my mailing list or show me the real love by supporting me on Patreon.

For next week, again, I don't know what I'll do. Holidays always screw me up, so I might purposely sandbag it by making just a short post, or a quick and dirty post. You'll see what I mean by that. Until then...

Keep writing, my friends.

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What INTJs Are Like During the Holidays

Hey, everyone.

As you can tell from the fact I haven't posted on schedule, my schedule is off. While this could be due to the fact that I agreed to watch my uncle's dogs which has taken several hours out of my day and cost me sleep, the thing at which I squarely place the blame for not being able to write is Halloween. Holidays always screw up my writing schedule since my time ends up being used for things like preparing for and celebrating the holiday. But it's probably all right since most people have their schedules similarly accosted in such a manner. But this gave me an idea for a blog post, and a quick and dirty one at that, and that is, what INTJs are like during the holidays.

Most days, INTJs are who you think they are: we're the ever-serious perfectionist seeking eldritch secrets in the most efficient way possible while remaining true to who we are. However, when it comes to the holidays, you see a rare alteration in us that 95% of the population believes doesn't exist. But believe me when I say so, during the holidays, INTJs can be... fun.

While it is certainly possible that some INTJs have the humor of "And what exactly is a holiday, and why should I celebrate it? Surely there is a more efficient way to spend my time." But INTJs are also human which means we possess feelings, fond memories, and a desire to let our hair down, just like everyone else. It's just that we're able to maintain our focus--a stronger than average focus at that--longer than everyone else, which makes everyone think we're incapable of such aforementioned things.

So, how or why is it that INTJs can be fun during the holidays, or even fun in general? Well, a part of the magic of holidays is the joyful and festive atmosphere. While INTJs are not known to smile in the least, we find ourselves compelled to partake in the festivities due to the gaiety these times induce. It's not so much that INTJs can't smile as it is more that we're not likely to smile. We have no reason to, and so we don't. But as I've said, the festive nature of a holiday makes everyone want to partake.

Holidays, as it turns out, are acceptable places for personal and public expressions of our rarely seen Extraverted Sensing (Se). You know, our inferior function; the one buried beneath our desires to imagine the possibilities, do everything as correctly as possible, and stick to our inherent moralities. Our Se is what makes us connoisseurs of tea, chocolate, baked goods, and crime scenes. (And it's what makes us dynamite in the sack.)

It's our Se that allows us to indulge in the world's pleasures and be taken with them. We see others enjoying themselves, and we too want to enjoy ourselves, so we allow our Se to come out and play. But that's not all that is going on. Remember, I said we see others enjoying themselves, and part of the fun of people enjoying themselves is seeing others having fun too. That's right--a part of INTJs having fun during the holidays is an expression of Extraverted Feeling (Fe).

Now, I can already hearing you screaming, "But INTJs don't have Fe!" Well, as it turns out, smart guy, if you had studied your Jung in addition to your Myers and Briggs, you'd know that all people actually have all functions, not just four. And in fact, when you study personality typing under the Jungian philosophy, it is revealed that there are far more than just sixteen personalities as the eight functions can be aligned in whatever order of importance the individual feels they are. You also have to remember that even in MBTI, you're not one function or the other, your personality is actually on a scale with either function on either end. So, just because your function "is" Fi, that doesn't mean you lack Fe, it just means you're more Fi than you are Fe.

Anyway, the point is, is that during the holidays, INTJs let their hair down and show off their Se taking joy in the festivities, and they show off their Fe taking joy in being around others who are also enjoying themselves. As a result, INTJs can become jolly and silly during the holidays. However, they're going to do so in a very INTJ-like way. For instance, if you want them to sing a Christmas carol, they will, but they'll know every verse, try to sing in tune, and depending on the carol, they'll be a true showman about it complete with theatrics and miming movements. Basically, it'll be perfect, focused, and everything a good Christmas carol should be. After all, if you're going to have fun, you have to do it the right way.

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I apologize for the brevity of this post, but I'm very busy these days and for the next two weeks. Who knows if I'll be able to turn out two more blog posts in that time, but if you want to make sure you don't miss them, please join my mailing list. And with the generous support you can give me through Patreon, I'll make sure to turn these posts out on time come hell or high water.

For next week, I'm not sure what I'll do. There is an easy idea or two I could turn out, as well as go back to Quick and Dirty INTJ Thoughts, so we'll see what we will see. Until then...

Keep writing, my friends.

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Five Reasons Why INTJs Struggle with Dating

Hey, everyone.

So this post is a bit of a doozy. I knew what I wanted it to angle toward, but I had no idea how to do it, make it cohesive, and make it appealing to other people. That's rather ironic because when I came up with this post, it was during my own eureka moment in which I realized I didn't care... well sort of. Eventually, it occurred to me that I should tell you all about my eurek-ous discovery by making it one of five reasons why INTJs have problems with dating. Now, all these reasons are legitimate, and there are plenty more, and even googling "INTJ and dating" yields some interesting results itself, but my post will focus itself on these select few. 

1. No Reason to Care

This was my eureka moment. See, there was a cute girl at work whom I wanted to court. Unfortunately, she was resigning, so I had to be quick in my approach. On her last day, I was going to lightly tease her about how I could take her out to mark the occasion, but since she hadn't followed through on coming to my young adults group, she obviously couldn't keep her word, which would light a fire under her ass to keep this commitment. Anyway, the day arrived and I had wanted to talk to her, but as she was talking to another co-worker, something in me snapped. Their conversation was inane--really inane--and a part of me didn't care. Like, really didn't care. It told me to leave and I did, but I immediately rued my decision because... I still cared. How is that possible?

Well, in the days that followed I realized that I cared about dating her, but I didn't care about any of her stories or happenings in life when she hadn't shown any interest in me. I mean, I would care about such things, but first I would need a commitment from her.

This may sound confusing, selfish, or ass-backwards, but I think INTJs suffer from this duality in many of their interactions with others. We're not incapable of empathy, but if someone isn't willing to put the effort into it, whatever "it" is such as a relationship, fixing their lives, or improving themselves, then we're not going to waste our time and energies being concerned for that person. They've made their bed, and they can lie in it.

And so too it is with dating or courting. We do care for our partners--more than you can imagine--but we're not going to give just anyone the time of day. Our attention and concern has a price, and if you're not going to pay, we ain't selling.

2. Selective

In the past couple of days, I've seen a handful of videos on YouTube going into why dating in the modern world is so difficult. Despite whatever the presenter of the vid says, the comments are chock-a-block full of MGTOWs laying the blame squarely at the feet of women, claiming their standards are too high and unrealistically so. I've seen the comment "80% of women are chasing 20% of the men" more than once.

Now, this doesn't mean we shouldn't have standards. In fact, I saw plenty of men commenting with their required standards for women which included things like "having no more than 5 sexual partners" and "not having children outside of wedlock." In fact, these are standards I can get behind, although I would change the former comment to "having no more than 1 sexual partner," but most of the grief seems to come from men who claim they are moderately good-looking and have better-than-decent incomes, but because so many women are looking for a loaded Prince Charming right off the bat, these men go without dating.

Perhaps these men are right and many women's expectations are too high, but getting back to the point and as I have said before, INTJs have high standards. We are very selective and exclusive individuals. As it's been said, "all of our friends have passed a secret test." Does this mean INTJs have committed the same folly as so many women in the world? Perhaps, but considering there are INTJs out there who have found meaningful relationships, it's more likely that since INTJs tend to, or at least try to, live up to their own standards, we have less trouble finding someone to match our standards because both partners share the same mentality.

But my point is that INTJs are selective, and in a world where more and more people are willing to let themselves go because no one else is bothering, it becomes more and more difficult for INTJs to find someone to date.

3. Different End Goal

Perhaps one of the most curious things I've ever heard and read about relationships is that they should have a goal. Apparently wanting to be in a relationship just so you can have someone to cuddle isn't a goal. That is to say, no dating for the sake of dating. Although I'm fairly certain many people have "happily ever-after" on their relationship to-do list. For most people, that means a lifelong, happy and healthy marriage.

However, INTJs are not most people. Like I've said in other posts, we often take pride in being different. And in my research on INTJs and dating issues, I found a forum where more than a few INTJs were in polygamist relationships, which I find completely unacceptable. The way I see it, if you're a person worth dating, then you deserve to be someone else's one and only, and not being shared. The only people who partake in polygamist relationships are the self-absorbed and the worthless.

But I must admit that I don't necessarily fit the mold of the ideal conservative boyfriend/husband. Men who are raised in conservative and/or practicing Catholic/Christian households are expected to do certain things in a marriage. Most notably, it's expected of us to have children, to work at least a standard 40 hours a week, and allow our wives to be stay-at-home mothers and housewives. For myself however, I don't want children, and since my ideal career is that of a writer, I don't want a wife who's only skill is Home Ec. As a writer, I can work from home, and writing is a fickle career--sometimes I write 2000 words in an hour, and sometimes I struggle to write 500 in two hours. But because of both conditions, I am able to stay home and most likely find time to take care of the things that need doing, i.e. dishes, laundry, and cooking.

Although I desire to be married someday, I have no need for a stereotypical housewife or stay-at-home mom, and to be honest, if I'm Stephan King-successful, I'd be downright pissed if my wife did nothing but lounge around all day spending my money. I'm not saying she couldn't have the benefit of my money, but she has to bring something to the table. Even if she doesn't have a career, she still needs a passion in her life. True, you can be passionate about raising children and keeping the house clean and comfortable, but again, that's not my desire despite growing up in a conservative and Catholic atmosphere where I'm likely to find many women like that.

INTJs often don't want the "usual thing," which lends even further to our dating problems.

4. We Do Fine Alone

Perhaps one of the biggest obstacles INTJs face in dating is our proficiency at being alone. While there's nothing wrong with self-sufficiency, it does tend to give off an air of disinterest. Plenty of people like feeling like they're needed, as if they are essential to some sort of dynamic. It's one thing to be wanted, but when you're needed, that means there's something out there that can only be done by you. Hell, even with as much as I scoff at the idea of fate, I still like the idea of being needed by someone.

But INTJs are self-sufficient masters. I once read that INTJs often "convince" themselves that they don't want to be in a relationship, but I don't think that's true. I think many of us want to be, it's just we're not willing to sacrifice the self-sufficiency we've honed over the years to let someone into our lives. It sounds strange for me to cast dispersions on this ability, but a relationship is made of two people. True, one may be submissive to the other, but that doesn't mean the dominant partner rules all aspects of the relationship as if the submissive partner is an inanimate object.

Another issue to this self-sufficiency problem is that INTJs have the "my way or the highway" mentality. Again, this works very well when you're alone; you can make all the lateral decisions you want and only have to deal with the dissatisfaction that comes from a wrong decision from yourself. But when you add another person to the equation, things become a bit more complicated, and INTJs don't really do complex in their social lives.

5. Impatience

I'll admit that I'm not entirely sure about this one, but for myself, I know that I am quite impatient with many social interactions and formalities. The one that really gets me about dating is the "getting to know you" part. The modern dating rules seem to recommend that it is better to get to know a person outside of a romantic scenario before moving onto the courting rather than trying to combine the two. I find this to be absolute rubbish because what's the point then of those first few dates? I thought that was the point.

Another thing that ticks me off is the FORD method. For those who don't know, the FORD method is the recommended way of dealing with small talk. FORD stands for family, occupation, recreation, and dreams. Now, while I love the hell out of the last two,  I don't really care about family and occupation. The reason for this is because occupation tends to be rather simple; not many people have as complicated a career path as yours truly, and the thing about family is that it can take a while--a long while. Families are complicated, there's a lot of history to unpack, especially in a family such as mine. My father is one of ten children and my mother is one of four, three of whom survived to adulthood, and that doesn't even begin to cover my cousins.

The other problem with family and occupation is that they're mundane. People get excited about what they do for fun and what they dream about, but in many cases a person's job is just a job, and as for family, well, to be honest, unless I'm dating you or you're a close friend, I don't really care about your family. That's a case of I need a reason to care, or it needs to be objectively interesting. When I first meet a girl, I'm not really interested in her parents or siblings; I'm more concerned about whether or not we have chemistry. Now, if she and I did have chemistry, then I would be interested in her family because I would want to know what sort of people I could end up calling my "in-laws."

But my point here is that I'm impatient with today's dating standards and rules. I can follow the rules of fifty years ago just fine, but that's because I've got the girl in front of me, I have her undivided attention, and if the date goes well, there might be a kiss at the end of it. With no kiss on the line, what the hell do I care? I know that sounds cold and selfish, but I don't have the patience to muck around with being "friends first." Maybe on a back-up girl, but not on a first choice. Not to mention, I'm not really in a rush to get married. I understand that it can take three to five years to get to know somebody. So I prefer that "getting to know you" period be a part of those three to five years rather than outside of it.

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Whew! I'm sorry this took so long to write and get out, but it was worth the wait. Even if you don't agree with what I've written, at least it is written well. Even a movie with a terrible plot can be mildly saved if it's technically good.

And if want to make sure you keep getting excellent piece of writing after excellent piece of writing, please join my mailing list. And with the generous support you can give me through Patreon, I'll have a reason to care about how well I write.

For next week, I'm not really sure what I'll do. There is one idea, but I'm struggling with the material, so perhaps I'll cover five jobs that INTJs don't want, but can still do better than you. Until then...

Keep writing, my friends.

More About Bryan C. Laesch:

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How INTJs Communicate: An Informal Analysis

Hey, everyone.

So, for this week I wanted to do a post on some of the dating troubles INTJs face, especially my own, but I'm having major writer's block regarding how to start the post. So instead, I decided to do a very informal analysis of the way INTJs tend to/are likely to speak and why. This idea was born from something I noticed about the way I think and talk at work. So...

Different from Everyone Else

It's no secret that INTJs are different from everyone else, and unlike INTPs who are quite adept at (socially) camouflaging their differences, INTJs tend to take pride in standing out. Now, besides our arrogant attitudes, our otherworldly auras, and our disdain to sweat the minutia of other people's lives, we also stand out in how we talk and communicate. A friend of mine actually commented on how blatant this difference was as I tend to write my stories in the same sort of voice as I speak. I don't remember how she described it, but if I were to classify our diction and syntax, they tend to be quite technical, formal, and educated. But what does that mean exactly?

Technical

We INTJs are obsessed with perfection and efficiency. As a result, we take great care in everything we do often thinking a task to death before undertaking it. This applies to our speech in that we are the sort of people in the world who still use "whom" and we use it correctly. We will also strive to not end our sentences with a preposition, and we'll stay far away from double negatives. We also try to make sure the way we speak matches the scenario we're in. Some people might be prone to using words like "thingamabob" and "whatchamacallit," even at business executive levels, but INTJs would never do that unless they're really relaxed in the situation. Otherwise, we're going to use words like "consolidation" and "liquidize."

Formal

Of course though, being in any formal atmosphere is a good enough reason to use a word like "consolidate." For instance, I work at a pet store and my main duty is stocking. The most important items I stock are dog and cat food. Now, while I generally loathe stocking excess dog food on the top  shelves, since most of them are 30+ lbs. and I don't feel steady on the ladder-stairs, but we got in a shipment of a brand that when I was hired in, we didn't have much of. Now we have enough that we have to store the excess on the top shelf. We also had a few bags here and there piled in with other brands. So I decided to consolidate all that one particular brand to one location on the shelf, which then caused me to consolidate several other brands. And that's exactly how I thought about my task: "I consolidated all the Fromm, Acana, Orijen, and Zignature into their own sections."

Another instance of this formal thinking and speaking is that while I was on register recently, the computer told me that a cash drop needed to be performed. Now, I don't know what a "cash drop" is exactly, but I know it must be done by a manager, there's always less money in the register as a result, and they have to print out a receipt at the end of the procedure to balance the books. Anyway, when I finally ran out of customers and was able to request a cash drop, I pulled up my radio's microphone--not my walkie-talkie, but my radio's mic--and said, "Register 1 requires a cash drop." I identified which register I was at, I used the word "required," and I said what needed to be done. I didn't say, "Hey, Jeff or Christine, or whoever isn't busy, I need you up front." No, I got to the point and used the business lingo.

Educated

And speaking of lingo, the clear example from the above scenario is that I said "required" instead of "needed." I chose the fancier word. Another example of this is that I  texted my friend Mary to see if she was still planning on attending our alma mater's homecoming game this Friday. Originally, I intended on texting her, "Hey, do you still intend on coming to the game this Friday?" But I decided to change "intend" to "plan." I did this for a number of reasons, primarily because I thought "intend" might come off as rude as if I didn't believe her intentions to be there, but my first instinct was to use "intend" instead of "plan" because as an INTJ, I prefer the word "intend" because its a more educated sounding word.

Another example is that I am more prone to asking customers "Do you require any assistance?" rather than "Do you need some help?" I may think the phrase "Do you need some help?" but the phrase "Do you require any assistance?" comes out. Also, instead of saying "A dog peed on our floor," I'll say "A dog urinated on our floor." While this is an example of education, I must admit that it's more of an example of formality since I don't like to use "pee" in front of other people. I'll say it about myself, but I won't say it about myself in front of others because I don't want to be seen as immature, and that leads us to why INTJs talk like they do.

It's All about Image

You ever hear the saying "the clothes make the man," or that "you should dress for the job you want?" Well, for INTJs we want to give off a certain image of ourselves. That image is of one who is competent, resourceful, intelligent, and capable. As a result, we act more business-like or even military-like when we're with other people. We don't want to be lumped in with all the other braindead slobs. Like I said, we stand out due to our word choice and word order, and my point is that we do that on purpose. Whereas we could act and speak like everyone else--it would be efficient after all--we choose not to, and since we take pride in our education and character, going above and beyond the call of duty in communication fits us like a speedo.

A Multitude of Perceptions

The other thing that I should mention is that because INTJs have such expansive vocabularies, that means there are a lot of words floating around in our heads, and many of these words have similar, not the same, but similar definitions. And while we don't give one iota about the minutia of your life, we will study the minute differences between all these words and use them exactly where they belong.

A good example is the difference between the words "speak," "talk," and "tell." I first noticed the difference between "speak" and "tell" when I studied Italian at college. In Italian, we have the word "parlare" for "speak" and "dire" for "tell." I thought it an odd discrepancy at first, but when you think about it, to have someone speak to/with you and to have someone else tell you (something), both scenarios have two very different contexts. In the latter, a person is merely giving you a piece of information whereas in the other it's implied that a conversation took place, possibly even an important one. A conversation can also take place with "talk," but it's often regarded as an informal or general conversation. And therefore, being an INTJ I hate small talk preferring to speak with people, and I loathe it when someone else tells me my business.

Conclusion

Unfortunately, I can't really capture the way INTJs speak in such a short blog post. Like I said, this is an informal analysis, and without some concrete comparisons to the other types, it's all hearsay. However, eagle-eyed readers may have picked up on the uniqueness of my writing voice which is quite distinct. It's not the sort of writing or voice you'd expect to see on a personal blog. In fact, this post and the blog itself are perhaps the best examples I can give of how INTJs communicate. I mean, how many people use "minutia" or would say how INTJs "communicate" as opposed to how INTJs "talk?" The difference is quite obvious and I'm proud of it.

***

Well, that started off as interesting post, but I'll be honest, I felt like I was beating a dead horse at the end and felt like I had run out of examples. This post started strong and petered out. Unfortunate, but it's not a real analysis, so oh well. But if you want to make sure you never miss an INTJ analysis, formal or informal, from yours truly, please join my mailing list. And with the generous support you can give me through Patreon, I can keep writing analyses on INTJs and even make some of them quite formal indeed.

For next week, I'm really going to cover INTJs and their dating troubles, come Hell or high water. Until then...

Keep writing, my friends.

More About Bryan C. Laesch:

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Five Qualities of Religion that Appeal to INTJs

Hey, everyone.

So, I posted the question of which topic people would like to see next on my blog, but no one voted for anything so I had to make a decision. I decided to cover the topic of being both religious and an INTJ because I thought it would be the most interesting one to delve into, especially since INTJs are the least likely of all the types to be religious. But after I realized that the answer was one of two things, either because I choose to or because I was indoctrinated so well that I don't realize I have been and think that I choose to, I realized that that answer sucks.

The question I should really address is why would an INTJ be religious? What qualities would a religion need to have in order to appeal to an INTJ? That makes for a far more interesting blog post, as well as an easier one because people are sluts for lists. Seriously, how much more likely are you to watch a vid or read a post because it says the top 10, 7, or 5 things or reasons for whatever the hell?So, here are five qualities of religion that appeal to INTJs. (I'm sure there are more, but these five are the most relevant to me.)

1. Theology Based Off Faith and Reason

If you were to ask me why I like Catholicism so much and why I think other religions, including other branches of Christianity, are weak-sauce, the first thing that would come to my mind is Catholic theology. Catholicism has an extensive and complex theology. Don't believe me? You've obviously never picked up a copy of the Catechism, and that's just the start since the Catechism is an abridged version of multiple documents called "dogmatic constitutions" as well as theses like Aquinas' Summa Theologica. And while INTJs like things extensive and complex, that doesn't necessarily make those things likeable. So what is it about that extensive and complex theology that appeals to me as an INTJ?

Well, Catholic theology is based off two things: faith and reason. It takes the belief "God exists," and then breaks that down into rational thought to discover the truth of it. While I admit that if you can't accept the premise, then you're not going to have any thoughts or discover any truth about the statement. However, Aquinas did take the via negativa (negative way) to uncover the truth behind certain theological precepts including the existence of God. He looked at why God couldn't exist first, proved them wrong through common perceptions, and then came to the conclusion that God did.

I know it's easy to get down on the Catholic Church these days and say it isn't rational what with all the sex and pedophiliac scandals, but I would argue that anyone who indulges in such behavior is not of Christ's body (which is the Church), and that being the case, you can't waggle your finger at the Church to shame her since they're not a part of the club--they just pretended to be and lied to everyone about it. That's one of the problems with having a Faith based off reason--it, like all academia based off reason and thought, can be taught. Since the theology is treated like fact, it's taught like fact, and so anyone who touts it expertly is accepted as a representative or evangelist of the Church by those outside it. But I digress...

One of the issues I have with some Protestant faiths, as well as Californian-based "religions" made up by a guy that could professionally qualify as a "dude," is that they seem to be based off feelings or accepting the Bible at face value. That's not the Catholic Church. We're often seen as a guilt-ridden Faith or that we don't want people to have fun. We don't want people wallowing in sin, true enough, but wallowing in guilt and shame can be just as bad. The truth of the Faith is that we want people to think about the Faith, think about God, and think about His will and choose to do it.

The first part of that is an act of reason and the second part is an act of faith, which when applied to an INTJ take the forms of thinking and intuition. That's what I was getting at. Catholicism, when done right, is a religion built by NTs. This is probably news to a lot of you since the message of the Faith is often watered down so it can be easily understood by all. It's also often made more digestible so we don't lose parishioners to more digestible beliefs. It's actually a very academically intense religion, which tickles NTs pink. INTJs can be religious, they can be faithful, but they need a rational reason to do so.

2. Admittance of/to Free Will

One very interesting thing that I've been hearing about a lot lately is that love is a choice, not a feeling. Romance or eros is a feeling, but to love someone, to put their needs before yours, even when you don't want to or even when it may cost you something dear, that's a choice. And in order to have that ability to choose, you must have free will.

INTJs don’t like feeling out of control. We don’t believe in destiny or fate, and things are compounded further by the fact that INTJs have a “my way or the highway” kind of attitude. It’s very important to us that we do things our way. Even if we make a mistake, as long as we did it our way, that still grants us some satisfaction, especially when we can own up to it because many people cannot.

So, although many religions tend to drive this idea of trusting in God’s will and being subservient to it, Catholicism still admits to the existence of free will, of choice. We can choose to do what we want, whether those are good or bad choices, and God does not interfere. People, and especially INTJs, don’t like being forced to follow someone else’s will, especially when it counters our own on a very fundamental level. So the fact that the greatest power in the universe, the one who is responsible for our creation, is perfectly willing to allow us to make our own decisions, we respect that. And because respect is shown to our abilities and desires, we are more likely to respect God's abilities and desires.

3. Strict Moral Code

Like I mentioned above, INTJs get a certain kind of satisfaction from owning up to their mistakes; we enjoy certain disciplines, rules, and rigidity. One of the things I can get behind about Catholicism is its moral code. True, it’s not always easy to live up to, but INTJs do sometimes falter according to their own codes of honor. We don't often admit it, but we do. But anyway, I respect the morality of the Faith. I believe it has my best intentions at heart, especially since I have mostly lived according to it all my life, and I don't have many of the problems that some people do. I attribute that to being brought up with the proper morality, and to some extent, many secular types would deem me to be an honorable man. Both not having problems and the respect of others appeals to me. 

4. Forgiveness for Failure and Recognition in Our Trials

Like I said, honor and morality is not always easy--we falter. And although INTJs are not very self-forgiving, God fortunately is. True, God does judge us, but He does so from a perspective of mercy, and INTJs, although we don’t like to admit it, we need someone in our lives to show us mercy. (Just like how we need someone in our lives to hug us, even though we don’t like to admit to that either.)

The other thing is that God recognizes our trials and attempts--He likes to see us try. Some may think that strange, but I mean, who isn’t flattered when someone we like makes an attempt to please us or tries to get to know us better? If God truly loves us and desires to have a relationship with us, then He should be pleased with our attempts to live according to His will, right?

5. It Challenges Me to be Perfect

Although many people see the Ten Commandments as buzzkills or only exist as some sort of devious plot to manipulate us, I believe the Commandments exist to make us more like God. After all, God’s purpose is to make our souls perfect. And speaking of perfection, INTJs f*cking love it. We pursue it nigh relentlessly, and despite the pressure we feel from that, the fact that there’s a religion and a deity out there that wants the same thing we do, we can support that. INTJs are not looking for the easy way out. Maybe the most efficient way, but not the easy way. We know that in our heart of hearts that we are meant for greater things, and religion teaches us that God believes that also. But we must become great in order to do great things.

Conclusion

Now, admittedly there are qualities of religion that don't appeal to us like always trusting in God or having faith that He's there because sometimes it feels like He isn't, and sometimes He doesn't do things the way we'd like them to be done. But these are all issues that everyone has. Not to mention, life does seem easier, in some regards, when you live according to His will, almost like that saying "God helps those who help themselves" is true.

For me, the good things about religion infinitely outweigh the bad things. So, in those moments when I feel despair, in those moments when I think God has abandoned me, and in those moments where I feel like saying "f*ck it!" and committing every sin in the book, I still (re)turn to the Faith because it has several good points that keep me coming back.

***

Well, I hope that was insightful, and did the job I wrote it for. I rebel quite hard against the stereotypical INTJ qualities that don't match myself, and hopefully this post explains why the not being religious one doesn't match up to me. And if you want to see more of this type of thing and never miss a beat, please join my mailing list, or really show me the love and please consider supporting me on Patreon. Even $1 a month will prove that you love me.

For next week, I'm going to cover INTJs and sex. It will actually be a reflection on dating troubles and why INTJs have them. It won't be in-depth, but I did have a few revelations when I was thinking about my own girl troubles recently. Until then...

Keep writing, my friends.

More About Bryan C. Laesch:

Amazon: My Author Page
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