Hey, everyone.
So, as I promised, here's my blog entry on what INTJs think during and after making out. Although, I was thinking about it just now and two thoughts occurred to me:
1. Most of these thoughts come from the very first time I made out, and so being a rookie, it may be that these are the same sort of thoughts that all rookies have, especially since I'm not sure I thought any of these the second time I made out,
2. These thoughts that I had may not be all that different from what other people think. I mean, it's not like INTJs think about astrophysics when they make out, but there is something that strikes me as odd about the whole experience.
See, I don't really know what most other people think about when they're making out. Do they have a goal in mind, like is making out just foreplay for them, or are there some people who neck just for the sake of it? I'm sure people make out for both reasons, but what's really amazing to me is how clear all these thoughts were. Like, I didn't feel so caught up in the moment that I was aroused beyond the capacity for rational thought. Perhaps that's the only difference between other people and INTJs, or between others and NT's. But we really should look at my specific thoughts within the context that they happened before deciding that.
"I Really Need A Girlfriend"
Let's set the stage first: 2012 is the best year I've ever had for dating and it was the last year I had where I actually dated. I don't know what it was about that year, but it seemed like I didn't have to go all that long until I tripped over a new girl. That was my last semester at Macomb, and there were actually two girls in my German class that I dated. Well, I dated one and the other narrowly slipped through my fingers.
Going into the summer, I purchased the video game Lollipop Chainsaw for my sister for her birthday and we played it to death. In the game, there's a stage at a high school where you save numerous students. One of the students you save says, "I really need a girlfriend," and I decided to use that as my title for a personal ad on Craigslist. (Unfortunately, CL doesn't do personals anymore since FOSTA was signed into law.)
Anyway, I got a response from a girl named Kim. She was friendly enough, but she was anxious about meeting someone from CL; she didn't want to run into a "Craigslist Killer," and she was concerned about my ad's title. I explained where I got it from and that was that, or so I thought. But that doesn't become relevant until much later.
For our first date, I took her to my local archery range and taught her how to shoot. Later, we went to dinner at a local restaurant where she poked mild fun at me for not saying much. Then as we parted, I asked her if she wanted a hug, which seemed to thrill the hell out of her for some reason. Seriously, it was the most emotion and excitement she showed all day. Overall, the date was really friendly and pleasant. Looking back on it now, knowing what I know and knowing what I think now, I think that probably should've been the only date we had since it was so underwhelming. But I was inexperienced and perhaps I had piqued her curiosity.
A week later we had our second date and we went miniature golfing, and she was... different. On our first date, she was amicable but aloof. On the second date, she was much more hands-on and excitable. At one point, we were talking about music and I mentioned I liked the band Disturbed which prompted her to give me an enthusiastic hug from behind. At the time, I didn't think anything of it and just appreciated the fact she was so openly affectionate. But things escalated from there. Later, she would explain that because she hadn't seen me in a week, her heart grew fonder. But...
Kim wasn't from around where I lived and had agreed to drive down to see me. She didn't know anything about the illustrious city that is Roseville, MI, and I took her on a small tour that included the local Dunham's, which is an underrated, mostly unknown sporting goods chain. Add that to your list of pro dating tips: Take them to a crappy, sporting goods store. But despite the setting, she was even more hands on than she had been. I don't remember anything specific, but I do remember grabbing and tickling her in vengeance. Obviously, we were about two steps removed from playing "Grab Ass," but being a rookie, I couldn't read the signs.
From there, I proceeded to take her to Cold Stone and we got ice cream... eventually. There was some light making out in the car. I don't remember how it started, which bums me out because my first kiss was in there. I'd like to be able to remember it, but I can't. I just know that we played around in the car in a public parking lot in the middle of the day for about fifteen or twenty minutes. A couple of times, she suggested we go and get ice cream, but she didn't seem all that eager to leave the car. She seemed quite content to lay on her side (I had bench seats in my car), and occasionally sneak a few kisses from me. Eventually, we went inside.
Once inside, I joked she had a bunch of hickies on her neck. She immediately became bashful and asking if I was serious. I was surprised how embarrassed she looked, but she had clammed up so quickly that I couldn't help thinking her reaction was terribly cute. I got her order, and then she went to bathroom to check her neck. She came back, we ate our ice cream, sharing our own with each other, and then we hopped back in the car for some more light kissing. But the area was too public. So, we went out driving until we found a shady spot beneath a big tree in an empty parking lot. I stopped there, and we spent the next two hours or more in that one spot. Now, we get to the good part.
Tonsil Hockey
Parked in the shade with my windows rolled down, I removed my glasses and we picked up where we left off. And... it was fun. But like I said above, I was never so into the moment that I lost my exterior perspective on the situation.
Not only was that the day of my first kiss, but also my first French kiss. Strangely enough, though I had never negotiated the maneuver, I didn't go in completely blind. I don't remember totally where I learned the technique, but while we were kissing, I opened my mouth slightly and licked her lips. At first, she sort of resisted. I don't know if she was playing around or if she was trying to prevent herself from losing control, but she didn't seem all that committed to the cause as it didn't make much for her tongue to come out and play. And this is where my first really clear thought in a series of clear thoughts showed up.
Kim had a strange French kissing technique--she would flick her tongue from side-to-side real fast, sort of like a snake, but in the wrong plane. I didn't think anything of it at first, but then I thought, "I wonder if this would be better if she stopped doing that." So, I told her to stop it; not harshly, but it was a directive. And... she didn't. I may have asked her a second time, I don't remember, but it still didn't work.
(Course, that's not to say my technique was perfect. I did at one point activate her gag reflex because I want too far back.)
Say My Name
Anyway, the necking was hot'n'heavy... sort of. At one point, she straddles me, I suddenly got the idea, "Hey. You know how in love scenes, one member of the couple sometimes asks the other to say their name. I imagine that's because it's arousing. Let's see if it works." So I stopped and told Kim, "Say my name," and she did, and... I didn't feel any different.
I think I also had her say "please" or something along those lines, but again, I didn't get a rise out of it. And as we continued, I just couldn't stop thinking, "Well, that's disappointing. I thought there was something to that. Oh, well..."
A Little Drooly
We didn't make out the whole two hours plus. There were at least two breaks. During those times, she would curl up or lie on top of me, and fall asleep. I could tell from her breathing and the fact she lightly drooled on my arm. I didn't mind, but I do remember thinking, "This is incredible. She's so comfortable with me that she can fall asleep on top of me. And this is only our second date." I mean, I guess a woman would have to be comfortable with a man to make out with him in the first place, and in a car of all places, but I was quite impressed and slightly bewildered by how trusting she was.
Her Favorite Underwear
Now, this is interesting. I didn't think much of it back then, but a few months ago, I was perusing Pinterest and I came across this pin.
I didn't think much of this because it has never been relevant in my life, so I decided to file it away for later reference. But then, when I was thinking about this blog post, I had a brain wave. Now, while I can't remember what sort of bra Kim was wearing that day, I did get to see her underwear. She didn't show me them, nor was she ever bottomless, but her pants did slide around a lot. They looked like casual business slacks, but they were made from the same stretchy material yoga pants are. As a result, whenever she lay down or shifted around, her pants would become tangle and either descend or her underwear would ride up.
Now, in my high school days as a Chatroom Playboy, it was often my pleasure to ask some girls what their measurements were and what sort of underwear they had on. I posed the latter question to Kim and she responded, "They're not a thong. They're just normal panties." And they were, more or less. From my recollection, they were cut like briefs because they had a lot of back coverage, but when they rode up, because Kim had a superb derriere, they would then become a little more cheeky. How did I know this if she never took off her pants? Well, I won't go into that. There are some details of this story that are a little too steamy to tell here. But besides what she told me above, she also mentioned that they were her favorite pair. Again, I didn't think anything of it at the time, but going back to the pin, my brain begins to tick.
While her bra and underwear didn't match, she was wearing her favorite pair, and the way I figure it, a girl doesn't put on her favorite underwear without reason. Why would she? A girl wouldn't wear her favorite pair on an ordinary day? Wouldn't she want to save them for a special occasion?
So, I've begun to wonder, is it possible that she woke up that day, knew she had a date with me, and was already in the mood to neck? Knowing that she might be an intimate position or that she might venture into one willingly, did she purposely put on her favorite pair in preparation for that? Perhaps.
The other thought I had was that maybe she put them on by coincidence, but by dint of their presence, she felt extra cute or sexy that day, and on her way to the mini-golf course, she got herself worked up. I may never know the truth, but I will file this incident and thought away for later reference.
"My Busy Hands"
As I mentioned, there are some details about this encounter that I feel are too steamy to go public, which is where most of my busy hands appear in. But before you start jumping to conclusions, I'll let you know now that my hands were always on the outside of her body, and other than our clothes getting twisted or slipping downward, we at no point ever removed them. This was only the second date and it was the middle of the day. There wasn't going to be any hanky-panky. Especially because my brother would strangle me if I ever did do anything really sexual in a car. (He has powers.)
Anyway, as we continued making out, I had my hand on her neck. I already knew at the time that I gave quite good massages--in fact, one of my favorite things to do is to give girls massages. Regrettably, I haven't done it in a while. But anyway, as I had my hand on the nape of her neck, I squeezed and rubbed it. She pulled away and moaned. I then had the thought "What would happen if I rubbed harder?" Well, she simply moaned more and louder. I would later use what I learned here in one of the too-steamy-to-recount instances, and that would have quite an effect on her, but if I have any advice to pass on the men out there, it would be that some light massaging while making out does wonders.
Center Console Chaos
Okay, so this incident didn't happen that day. If you remember, I mentioned my car had bench seats, meaning it couldn't have had a center console. This actually happened in my father's car, which at the time was a new Dodge Challenger, and if you know anything about those cars' interiors, you'll know they're a bit cramped. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
About a week after we made out, she tried to break up with me. I didn't want that. I was so close to finally having a girlfriend and I was going to fight for it. In a desperate move, I asked her to meet me at Dodge Park at that moment. To save myself some gas, I borrowed my father's car and about thirty minutes later, I met her there.
We went for a walk down some of the trails and despite my desperation, I was very cordial, almost business-like in my approach. Her reasoning for wanting to break up with me was twofold: the lesser reason was that to her it didn't seem like we had enough in common, meanwhile, the better reason was that she felt I was placing too much importance on the act of getting a girlfriend and not putting enough emphasis into finding the right girl to be my girlfriend, which is a lesson I have carried with me to this day.
But something interesting happened that day. See, in between the make out sesh and the break up, we had had a third date where we met up at Dodge Park before I took her to my archery league night (she didn't stick around after it began). At that third date, she gave me a strong, almost painful kiss to show how much she missed me, but there was something about that date where I turned her off. She went from being very affectionate and cuddly to very distant. I tried to grab her hand at one point and she visibly pulled away--it wasn't subtle in the least. So what happened?
I don't entirely remember, but I think she asked me some more questions to get to know me, and while I answered them, which is where she came to the conclusion that we didn't have enough in common, I didn't ask her what her thoughts were on it. It wasn't a conversation; there was no back-and-forth. However, when I had rushed to see her to stop the break up, there was plenty of back-and-forth, plenty of conversation. As a result, she went from being a cold fish to very handsy and affectionate again. At one point, she said she was going to sit on the ground beneath a tree. I said okay, but as she went to sit, she grabbed me by the arm and pulled me down with her. As you can imagine, I was confused.
From there, we eventually went back to my father's car where I tried to sneak a few kisses out of her. She was quite resistant, but apparently I have a make out face that she couldn't refuse, which is weird to me because that face felt depressing and not romantic at all. She surrendered a few kisses to my cheeks, but that wasn't good enough for me. I never really got what I was after, but some how in the scuffle, she found her way to laying on top of me again. But like I said about Dodge Challengers, they're cramped due to their ponderous center console. And while it was nice to have her laying on top of me, threatening to nap again, I couldn't stop myself from thinking, "There's no way in hell she's comfortable enough to sleep like that. Not laying over the console, the shifter, and the handbrake like that. Not possible." And that is why, if I have any other advice to give, I highly recommend cars with bench seats for making out in, even if they're sh*t-kickers.
Nothing Gold Can Stay
Despite how that night ended up, Kim and I didn't stay together. At first, I thought we had made up, but when I hadn't heard from her, I guessed the obvious. I'm still pretty effing confused though on how the relationship ended. How many people make out, or come close to, when they break up with somebody? My guess is not many.
However, Kim did teach me several important lessons about myself, as I've already mentioned, as well as gave me some great feedback on what sort of boyfriend I could be, and how good I am at making out. One of the things she told me was that I don't have to be a "Craigslist killer," that I'm normal enough to approach girls the normal way. But to be honest, I do miss her and I would like to see her one more time. If for nothing else, just to see if I can sneak a few more kisses out of her.
Also, I hope this didn't come off as bragging; I don't think myself the only INTJ to have made out. No, my purpose was to merely illustrate how INTJs have a different perspective during intimate situations. While it's been said that INTJs are really good at sex because they stop thinking and start feeling, and everything they do, they do to please their partner, but this was never completely true for me. Most of my actions, despite my inexperience, were propelled by instinct, but I never let it control me. I was master of my domain the whole time.
*****
Well, you guys, that's it. That's the tale of how I first made out and the unusual thoughts that occurred to me during the session. If you enjoyed that tale and you want to read more, please consider joining my mailing list or even supporting me on Patreon. For a buck a month, I'll keep the good times rolling and make sure to make my blog a priority rather than neglecting it at times.
As for my next post, I'm either going to write about whether or not INTJs are dangerous or what it's like being friends with an INTJ. I might keep the sentimental train rolling. But I will only be doing one big post a week now as I will be getting busier as I look for a part-time job and thanks to my memes, I can produce plenty of quick, high-quality content, so I needn't kill myself anymore to write two posts a week. Plus, I have a buttload of writing to do. So, until next week...
Keep writing, my friends.
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